Back to December
by LadyofSpain
Summary: An all human, alternate version of Three Worthless Years. Yes, I am ficcing my own fic. What would have happened if Angela and Maria convinced Bella to come to La Push while our boy was on leave? Would things work out between them? Would Bella get her HEA?
1. Chapter 1

**Back to December**

By Lady of Spain

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_**Prologue:Not Really**_

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

A/N: This is dedicated to all the _Three Worthless Years_ fans, who wanted that story to go on forever**_. Some of you may have already read this prologue, so just scroll down to Chapter 1. I am leaving it here so as not to confuse the numbers on the chapters._**

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I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be ficcing my own Fanfic, yet here I am. As you can see, this prologue isn't really that at all. I'll actually be posting the first chapter on May 1. For those of you who haven't read the original story, you'll probably be totally lost, but if you don't want to wade through forty chapters, here is a synopsis:

Bella leads a lonely, structured life. Her parents are strict, and her father lets her know that there's no such thing as love. She takes him at his word.

She and her cousin, Garry join the Civil Air Patrol where she meets new friends and has great experiences. That summer she goes to a boot camp and meets a cute, cocky, Quileute, named Jacob, who asks her to the military ball. She agrees even tho' she has a boyfriend back home, thinking it would only be for one night.

Jacob gets a hold of her address and writes to her (this is 1996, so no email), and falls in love. They correspond for about six months, and he asks if he can visit her for Christmas. She finds herself pregnant, and is embarrassed to have him come, since she'd be showing by then. Her mother forbids her to write to him anymore, and truthfully she doesn't want him to know she's pregnant. So in December, she stops writing to him with no explanation, breaking his heart.

He decides to enlist in the air force, along with Quil and Embry, and becomes a helicopter pilot in Iraq. One day, on a routine mission, he gets blown out of the sky, and nearly dies from the injuries. As he teeters on the edge of mortality, he decides to go find Bella if he lives through this. After his tour, he visits his roommate's wife in Arizona; her husband, Dale (Already) Osborne was killed earlier in the year. He stops by to see Bella, and meets her two yr old son, Michel. They talk, and she stays with him awhile at his motel.

He's offered an opportunity to train some new pilots at FortHuachuca in Arizona, and gets to visit her a couple of times. While at the airport after his second visit, one of the members of her boyfriend, James', band spots her and overhears her tell Jacob that she's moving to La Push. James gets wind of it and goes to her house threatening her not to leave with their son.

Even though, Bella loves Jacob, she's reluctant to be intimate with him. It seems that James, who thought he was the god of sex, was always in a hurry. She never realized any pleasure, and in fact found the act, itself, painful, and humiliating. FYI, Jacob finally sets her straight on that account.

Bella sneaks off to be with Jacob days earlier than expected, to evade her ex. Her relationship with Jacob blossoms, culminating in a helicopter ride to a waterfall, where he proposes.

The couple is happy until James shows up. I won't give the spoiler here (because it's a doozy), just that things work out.

Okay, so there you have it in a nutshell. The new story starts when Angela comes to see Bella and is horrified that Bella left Jacob, broken-hearted and clueless as to what happened.

A/N: For all you non-military types, there is a glossary of terms after the first chapter made especially for you.

* * *

Chapter 1: Stuck on You

My best friend Angela had stopped by that day, and made me begin thinking about what I'd done to the only boy I ever loved. She came to tell me she was engaged, and invite me to her wedding. Instead of congratulations, she was peppered with the facts of _my_ life—a life that as far as I was concerned, reeked of ruin. At first she fought with me over my pessimism, but handing her my son, Michel, proved to be an armful of my broken dreams. But then, she started badgering me about Jacob, the boy I left behind without so much as a goodbye.

Angela's eyes got wide, and her mouth dropped open. "Oh, no ... Please say you didn't do that."

"I couldn't tell him, Ang. It was too humiliating. He thought of me as this sweet, innocent little virgin. How could I disappoint him?"

"Let me get this straight. So, you just let him think that he was to blame—that he did something wrong? That poor guy. I can't believe you'd do such a thing.

"He was in love with you, Bella, and even if he doesn't forgive you now, he still deserves an explanation. You can't leave him hanging. He'll always wonder what happened between you two; it'll haunt him forever. That was really cruel of you. His heart was probably broken in a thousand pieces."

My voice sounded shrill and my excuses sounded just like what they were—lame excuses. "But I can't write to him and explain. Maria said he enlisted in the air force, and he's serving his tour in Iraq. It's too late now."

There was fire in Angela's eyes. "It's never too late. You've _got_ to tell him."

Michel started to squirm, and Angela handed him back to me. She picked up her purse and got ready to leave. Walking to the door, she turned to me, and remarked, "Think about what I said." She canted her head, clicked her tongue and sighed loudly. "I'm going to tell you something I know you don't want to hear. I believe you can't face Jacob, because you were in love with him too. You're still in love with him; you can't deny it. Otherwise why would you care what he thought? If you don't do this—and I mean find him and apologize—I guarantee you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Jacob could be the one. I'm not saying he is, but he could be. You'll never know if you don't stick your neck out and risk hurting your pride."

She reached her hands out to me. "Well, I guess it's time for me to get down off my soapbox. It was nice talking to you again. See you at my wedding, huh?"

We stood on the threshold, hugging each other. "Wouldn't miss it."

* * *

I did reflect on Angela's little lecture. In fact, I thought about it a lot. He was fighting in the Middle East, though. Hearing from the girl who stomped on his heart would only cause him to lose focus. I didn't want him to get hurt because he was thinking about me. I'd already heaped enough _emotional_ damage on him, no sense in adding physical injuries on top of that.

* * *

Months slipped by, and I continued my _clinicals _and other studies at ASU. I kept to myself, with my nose in my textbooks. I didn't date at all. It would be hard to tell a guy that I had to get home to my baby halfway through a date. And if I told him up front, there'd be no need to; he'd dump my butt as soon as the words left my mouth, and scuttle away to find someone with no little people attached.

Mom wasn't quite as jaded as I was. She even volunteered to watch Michel so I could go out if I really wanted to, but my heart just wasn't in it anyway. There was no one like Jacob—no one.

* * *

**JPOV:**

Another day in Iraq had literally bit the dust. Luckily, Mac and I missed getting our tail feathers shot off once again. We set down the Apache, and headed in for chow.

One of the other pilots, Nelson, I think it was, started toward Already, and me, whining, "Oh, c'mon, Scrapper, why don't you ever come with us for a little i & i?"

"Why? You guys need a designated driver? Noooo thanks. I'm gonna chow down, take a shower, write some letters, and hit the sack. Another glorious day in the desert tomorrow, fellows."

He rolled his baby blues at me, and taunted, "Hell, anyone would think you were a virgin or something."

I was used to getting razzed about not going out with the guys for some horizontal refreshment, and as usual, it just rolled off my back. So, I answered, "Yeah ... what about it?"

"No freakin' way! You mean to tell me that the great Black Scrapper is still a fresh cherry?"

My red-headed companion stood up and faced the loudmouth. "Lay off, Nelson. He's saving himself for someone who's worth it—a girl that's special, not some well worn trollop like you've got your tongue hanging out for."

"This coming from the other _born again_ virgin. Just shut up, Already—you're married, and you've got a woman. If you wanna remain faithful, that's fine, but the kid here, needs experience."

Bull Metcalf horned in on the convo, and bracing himself against the edge of the table, stared at me. "Look, a guy has needs. And Osborne's making a pansy outta you. Man, you need to sow some wild oats, before you give it all up for one lousy girl."

"I'm keepin' my oats to myself, if you don't mind. I'll sow them when I find the right place to plant them, and it won't be here in this godforsaken place with some girl I've never even seen before. Just to be clear, Already and I are of like minds. We want the whole enchilada—love and commitment, not any ol' port in desert storm. Now don't you and your cronies have an appointment in the red-light district?"

With his grey eyes narrowed, he blared, "One of these days, Black, we're gonna have a little go-round, you and me."

"Sure, sure, but this isn't the day, and my food's gettin' cold."

"Freakin' pansy," he huffed, as left the mess hall.

Already was rolling his eyeballs. "What a bunch of bull. He's just jealous. He's not man enough to hold onto his oats. Come to think of it, the red-light district is probably the only place he can find a girl to have sex with, and then he has to pay her. Phft ...! That's not love, that's a business meeting."

Dale was such a great buddy. Looking up at him, I smiled. "Thanks for watching my back, and just so you know, I haven't been _pansified._ This is the way I was brought up."

"Any time, pal." Already pointed to my plate. "Hey, are you gonna eat that other chicken leg?"

* * *

As we walked toward our CHU, Already asked," So, who is she, anyway?"

Hooh boy, he was poking around in my one sore spot. I continued looking straight ahead. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't give me that, Scrapper—you know ... the girl."

"What girl?"

That crazy carrot top shoved my shoulder, laughing. "The girl you've been saving your oats for, goof ball."

"Oh, that girl. She's not really my girl, at least not anymore—if she ever was."

"Maybe not, but you _wish_ she was."

"How can you tell?"

"Come off it, already. I see the way you sometimes get that faraway look in your eyes. Are you going to look her up when you get out of here?"

"I don't know if she wants to see me or not."

We reached our CHU, and I started to get undressed. That shower was gonna feel so good.

Already yanked off his fatigues and and slung his tee shirt at me. "Well, you'll never know, if you don't try. Faint heart never won fair lady. Now, let's get going already, when we come back from the showers, I want you to tell me all about her."

* * *

"Are you sure she got your last letter?"

"Sure, sure. Maria wrote and told me after I started training. She says that Bella is very vague in her letters, like she's hiding something. She has a boyfriend, too. That's one of the reasons she was so cautious around me. I don't think he treats her right, but there's nothing I can do about it here."

"I still think you should go find her after this is over."

"You do, huh?"

"What's the matter, you can't take advice from an old married man?"

"No, it's just ... I don't know. Maybe I'll think about it.

"Hooh boy! I came all the way out here to forget about her, and the more I try, the more I keep seeing her in my head."

Already shook his mass of red hair. "I'm telling you—you are still stuck on her. And another thing; I've never seen you back down from a fight, and this is _the_ fight. It's the battle for your own happiness. Life without love is no life at all. I know what I'm talking about. I'd be lost without my Pam, and you _are_ lost without your Bella."

Was he right? Was I lost? _Is that why I'm fighting so hard here in Iraq—fighting to get her out_ _of my heart—fighting to root her memory from my mind?_ I felt so helpless. What did that girl do to me? How could I free myself from her?

Here I was attempting to put that little brown-eyed girl out of my mind, and wouldn't you know it, my very next thought was: _Will I ever see her again?_ Damn, I was waving the virtual white flag. It was hopeless. I'd never forget her if I lived to be a hundred.

**BPOV**:

I put on the only formal dress I owned, and went to the Wright House in Mesa for the wedding. It was a beautiful affair. The Victorian structure and grounds were gorgeous, a very fitting atmosphere for a wedding—for her wedding anyway. I'd just as soon run off to a JP, not that it looked like that would occur any time in my future.

Angela was glowing in her satin and lace gown, and Ben looked quite debonair in a tux. I knew most of the people there, but still felt awkward and out of place. I purposely got there after the receiving line ended. I didn't want her questioning me about _him._

I stayed until the happy couple cut the cake, but Angela caught me before I made my escape.

"Not so fast. You didn't think you could duck out without me noticing, did you? So, did you write to him? Is he here with you?"

"No, and no."

"God, Bella. You're such a coward. It's been six months. How long are you going to make the poor boy suffer?"

"For all I know, he could be married by now."

"In Iraq? I don't think so. Your friend Maria would have said something."

"Anyway, I've got a husband and a honeymoon waiting. I'm so happy, but I was hoping you'd be happy too."

Angela took both my hands in hers. "Promise me, you'll write to him, or see him. You've got to take a chance."

I averted my eyes. She turned my head with one hand. "Look at me. You're my friend, and I can't stand to see you like this. Now promise me."

"Ang, Ben is waiting for you."

"He's okay; after all, he can't honeymoon without me. I'm not leaving until I hear you say the words."

"Okay, okay, I promise."

She lifted my hands, glancing at them.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't trust you. I'm just making sure that your fingers weren't crossed."

Ben walked up behind us. "Can I have my wife back now? Her carriage awaits."

He kissed Angela's cheek, winked at me and strolled off with his arm around her waist. I strolled off to my car, and back to Tempe to continue my bleak existence.

* * *

**A/N: As promised, here's a glossary of military terms used throughout the story:**

**Anaconda:** The military hospital at Balad, Iraq.

**Nightmare**: The artillery assigned to the 1st Cav, Jacob's unit

**HESCOS**: Wire baskets 7ft tall and 5ft wide, lined and filled with sand. These were set up, double-stacked around the base to absorb bullets and mortars meant for the occupants behind them

**Hevlar**: A fabric five times stronger than steel and with no melting point. It was used to line helmets and body armor, that incidentally weighed 75 pounds.

**Bradley**: An armored military vehicle with a gunner poised on top.

**Bajooka**: The nickname given to Enrique Cavasos, a medic who was constantly chewing Bajooka bubble gum. He refused to be labeled, Bubbles, so Bajooka stuck

**Warhorse**: The FOB (forward operating base), north of Baghdad, where Jacob was stationed.

**Razor wire**: A concertina type of wire set atop the surrounding wall of the base. In place of barbs, there were razor blades.

**RPG**: Rocket propelled grenade. This was a shoulder held tube that launched grenades.

**IEP**: Improvised explosive device. These mines were crudely devised and remotely detonated, so the soldiers were always unaware of when or where they might explode.

**EEP:** Explosively formed penetrator. A more sophisticated mine, manufactured professionally in Iran. They were packed with molten copper that could eat through a soldier's protective armor and vehicle bodies. Highly destructive.

**Reveille**: A bugle call to wake up the troops.

**Ambush Alley**: An actual area in Nasiriyah where the troops were constantly being harassed and ambushed.

**Salute and cut**: A crisp salute that is dropped quickly, as opposed to one that's held longer during a funeral, for instance.

**Hug your horses**: An expression used by the 1st Cavalry. Their insignia was two shoulder patches emblazoned with a horse's head. When in a tight situation, they would grit their teeth, and grab their shoulders symbolically—in effect, _hugging their horses_.

**CHU:** Containerized housing unit. A trailer to house the officers. The walls were thin metal, so they were surrounded by HESCOS. Jacob refers to his CHU as the choo choo.

**1****st**** Cav, 101 Airborne Brigade**: This is Jacob's assigned unit.

**Born again virgin**: A sexually experienced man who has been abstaining for a while.

**I & I**: Phrase used interchangeably with R & R. In this case meaning, intoxication and intercourse.

**Apache**: A military chopper with tons of fire power.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Letter

Disclaimer: owns Twilight

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Two weeks after the wedding, I was still chewing on Angela's edict. Chewing, and chewing—it was so hard to swallow. But then, a letter came in the mail from Maria. Setting things in motion, it read:

_Dear Bella,_

_I hope life's treating you well. How are you doing in your classes? You lucky dog, must be nice walking on a campus full of sunshine. Going to school at Washington State is WET. It's raining, and hasn't let up for days. Maybe I should transfer to ASU, huh? _

_My sister got engaged last Tuesday. We're all excited about it. She's the first one in our family to tie the knot. About time too; she's twenty-seven._

_More news about a certain guy. Now, don't cringe. Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but what the hell ... Jacob will be coming home for r & r next month. He'll be here for 15 days, just in time to celebrate Billy's fiftieth birthday. _

_The party will be on the 16__th__. By Billy, I mean Jacob's dad. It's a big deal. Billy would be chief of our people, if we still held onto that tradition. _

_I wish you could be here. Jacob still asks about you. I'll bet he'd love to see you too (I couldn't resist). I still think you two would make a great couple. By the way, have you broken up with that James guy? No offense, but he sounded like trouble. If he was out of the way, you and Jake could be together as soon as he finishes his tour. Hint, hint ..._

_Well, better go. I've got a stupid term paper due this week. Yuk!_

_Write soon,_

_Your friend,_

_Maria_

It was now or never. The semester would be over soon, and there would be a break before the next one. How ironic, I'd be going to see him in December, the month when all this heartache started. Would he really be glad to see me, or would it just reopen old wounds? Gosh, this was a whole month away, and already my butterflies were churned up.

* * *

Renee was standing over me as I sat at the table finishing up some homework. "Are you crazy? Why would you waste your time going to some poverty-stricken reservation in Washington State? If you're so desperate to see one, there are plenty of them around here. Gila River isn't that far away.

"Think about it ... You'd have to drag Michel with you, not to mention you'd need warm clothing, gas and food. Where are you going to get the money for all these expenses?"

The pen dropped from my hand in frustration. "Mom—stop! I'm twenty years old. I know what I'm doing. I have to go. If it's a big mistake, then it's a mistake. You can say, I told ya so, when I get back. Geesh, if I had known you were going to react like this, I wouldn't have told you about it."

Mom walked to the opposite side of the room, genuinely agitated. Banging cupboard doors, and taking down pots and pans to prepare dinner, she continued her tirade. "Mark my words, young lady; no good is going to come of this. You should never have begun writing to him in the first place. And another thing ... what kind of person would start up with someone knowing that she had a boyfriend at the time?"

My ire was up now. "And what kind of mother would go through a daughter's personal belongings and destroy her love letters?"

Renee leaned over the counter, staring into the pan setting there. Then, suddenly she slammed the pot onto the surface. "Love letters—what right did he have to send you love letters? Unless ...To think ... my own flesh and blood, leading that boy on. You did, didn't you?"

The chair scratched the floor as I pushed it away from the table, and stood. "I. Did. Not! I don't know why he fell in love with me. I didn't encourage him in the least. Anyway, this trip would be unnecessary if you had kept your hands out of my dresser. You were also the one that made me stop writing, so now I feel it my responsibility to apologize—to set things straight. He didn't deserve to be treated like that."

I heard Mom's tongue click.

"Well, you're not going, and that's that."

_Just watch me! _I picked up my books and papers and carried them to the living room. "Adios. The air in here is _suffocating_."

* * *

The couch squeaked under my weight as I sunk onto the cushion. Charlie walked through the front door at that moment. With his mouth contorted in a frown, he took off his jacket, slinging it onto his lazy boy. "What's the matter, kitten?"

I looked up, my face probably still flushed with anger. "One word—Mom."

"Is that all? You should be used to it by now. So, may I ask what the _discussion _was about this time?"

"Well, remember that boy from La Push—the one that I used to write to?"

Charlie sat across from me, moving his jacket to the side as he did so. "I remember; what about him?"

"I've been considering ... about going to see him during semester break. I need to tell Jacob how sorry I was for not explaining my situation to him. What do you think?"

"I think you're old enough to make your own decisions. I might add, what you're doing is very commendable. It takes a lot of courage to admit when you're wrong. I wish the boy didn't live so far away though."

"Me too. Thanks, Dad."

My dad shrugged. "What's a father for?"

He smiled, then turning his head, yelled over his shoulder. "Hey, honey, I'm home. What's for dinner?"

* * *

JPOV:

For once, I had a good night's sleep, but the next day didn't start off to be very promising. Right outside the CHU, Metcalf was waiting for me.

"Today good for you, Scrapper? C'mon, I'm dying to cut you down to size. You're a little too big for your britches." He removed the cigarette from his lips and dropping it, crushed it under his boot.

Jeez, I was not in the mood. "I don't wanna fight you, Metcalf. I've got work to do. Maybe some other day, huh."

"What's the matter, lost your nerve?"

"No, I just think that being officers, we should act like officers, and settle our differences some other way."

Bull took a step forward, trying to intimidate me. He didn't have to—I knew what pain he could inflict with his iron fists.

His big face was scrunched up into an ugly scowl. "Now see, this is why I don't like you. You're a smart ass. You have an answer for everything. Well, here's my answer."

Bull suddenly lunged at me. He was stocky, and powerful, but I was a head taller and more agile. Lucky for me, he missed my face with that first blow. Unluckily, the next one connected. Hooh boy, that guy could throw a mean punch. My face would be stinging for hours.

I got in a few good licks myself. Meanwhile, Already was trying to pull us apart. By then, a crowd started to gather, cheering us on. Great—they were chanting our names. What the hell ...? The bloodthirsty spectators were happy to see us annihilate each other.

I couldn't get him off me. Finally, a couple of MPs broke up the fight, and hauled us off to a dressing down by Captain Fairfax.

* * *

The captain was pacing, looking down at the floor. "So ... you two want to fight, huh? You know, there _is_ an enemy out there, beyond Warhorse." He looked up into our battered faces at that point, and shouted, "But we can't fight them, if we're fighting among ourselves. You got that?

"You are both grounded for a week. I'm putting the two of you on work detail. You're going to work side by side—and like it. Sergeant Crowley can use your help maintaining the helos."

At least it was something I enjoyed. "Thank you sir. I'm good with mechanical equipment."

Bull muttered under his breath, "Of course you are. Damn show off!"

The captain's eyes narrowed. "What was that, Lieutenant?"

"I said, of course he could show me how."

"All right then, you two battling idiots are dismissed."

We performed a salute and cut, but before I got to the tent flap, the captain grabbed my arm. "I changed my mind. Metcalf is dismissed, you are not."

Doing an about face, I stood at attention. Bull snickered and continued out into the open.

The captain's intense eyes were glued to mine. "At ease. Look, Scrapper, it's bad enough I have to see the men squabbling among themselves, but I never thought I'd have you in here. Please tell me you didn't pick a fight with that brute."

"No sir, I did not."

"Maybe you can help me out, then. Seems I get a lot of complaints about Metcalf, but no one ever gives me the whole scoop. Now fess up—tell me what's going on. I promise whatever's said stays in this room."

"Metcalf's a bully, sir. The men are afraid of him. He was a boxing champion, you know. He picks on the little guys, or those he's jealous of, namely me and my friends from La Push. I guess we made too good an impression during basic training. Anyway, he didn't like something I said recently, and jumped me for it today. I tried to avoid a fight, but he wouldn't have it ... and here I am . . . sir."

"I'm putting this incident in my report, but I'll keep your name out of it, so it won't go on your record. In the meantime, try to stay out of his way, huh? Now, get goin'; Crowley's waiting for you."

The captain and I saluted again, and I was on my way to get cleaned up and then on to see my new work assignment.

* * *

Crowley was pretty easy going, like me, so it wasn't hard to get the job done. I whistled or talked alongside the mechanic. Bull, though, got through the day with a few grunts. I guess he communicated more with his knuckles than anything else.

Working with the sergeant was enjoyable, but it was still punishment. Keeping me from sitting in my Black Hawk's pilot seat was pure torture. You better believe I would watch my mouth around Bull from now on. The captain couldn't have doled out a more severe sentence.

I was chompin' at the bit to get back on that cyclic, and those sticks, and those familiar pedals. Mac greeted me on my first day back, handing me a foil-wrapped piece of Wrigley's as I hopped onboard. "Welcome back, kid. Strap up, and let's give 'em hell."

It was great soaring through the wide blue yonder once again. The whole shift that day wasn't so shabby either. We waltzed in and out of the LZs—ass and trash runs, mostly. Only took a few hits too. We got home just in time for chow and the mail delivery. And damn if I didn't have a letter waiting for me. It was from Maria.

_Forget about dinner!_ I was more hungry for news from home. I grabbed my letter and took it with me to the CHU, so I could devour it in private. Already was still out with Smokey, so I had it all to myself.

Maria always wrote long letters, full of detail. My dad wrote too, but it wasn't the same. Women seemed to have a knack to say what we men needed to hear. She wrote about her sister's upcoming wedding, her studies at WSU, her new garden, and described the car she bought. The description was so vivid, I could practically hear the engine turn over. I couldn't help smiling as I read, until I came to the last paragraph:

_I just wrote to Bella Swan. She's still living at home with her parents at the same address. She sounds pretty lonely. I hope you don't mind, but I told her you were coming home on leave. Maybe you two can get together, and I told her as much. I think I did the two of you a favor, seeing as you're both too stubborn to admit you're in love with each other. You can pay me later._

_Well, that's it for now—stay safe, and don't volunteer for anything for crying out loud._

_Your friend,_

_Maria_

Jeez—did she have to mention her name? And I was having such a good day too. I put the letter back in the envelope, and lay back on my cot. Flickers of long ago memories burst in flashes across my mind—dancing in the Bx, the ride in the bus as we headed toward the officers' club. I remembered the smell of her light perfume, the way she felt in my arms, and hooh boy, the way she kissed me. That was the kiss that woke up my long dormant heart. I could almost taste her lips; they were like a sun kissed strawberry, newly picked from the summer garden. It lingered all this time even though we were miles apart, physically and emotionally. Then like a knife cutting through my soul, I thought about the day we got on board the buses to our separate homes, and the last letter I received from her. The scar across my heart was flayed open, the pain as fresh as the day I realized she wasn't coming back to me.

Maria couldn't know what misery her last words cost me. I wished that Already would return soon, so I could distract myself again, but it would be hours 'til his helo reached the base. So I was alone with my thoughts, brimming with the vision of her, and the sound of her voice. I drifted off at some point, the envelope falling from my hand onto the bedding.


	3. Chapter 3

3: A Near Miss

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

BPOV:

It was time to face up to the music. I couldn't concentrate at school. All I could think about was Maria's letter, and what I should say to her, so after school, I decided to give her a call.

With genuine surprise in her voice, I heard: "Bella? Is it really you? My god, it's so good to hear from you. I take it you got my letter?"

"Yes, and I'm seriously thinking about coming up to La Push. Jacob deserves to know what happened, and why I stopped writing to him. I'd like to explain in person. But first, I need to ask your opinion on something."

"It's your dime, so shoot!"

"Well, you've probably been wondering why I seem so guarded in my letters. The truth is, there are some things about me that I didn't want Jacob to know. He was aware that I had a boyfriend—remember I told you about him. And Jacob made it clear that he didn't hang around _those kind_ of girls. He was so sure that I was this pure little virgin. The trouble is, I wasn't.

I sat down ready to give her my rotten life history. "I'm not excusing myself, but if I had dumped James when the red flags went up, then I would've been exactly how Jacob imagined. I hated being intimate with James, but it was always a battle of wills. You have to understand, I was a wallflower; no one wanted me. I was afraid of being alone again—so when he persisted, I finally gave in. I got tired of his badgering. Pretty lame excuse for having sex, huh?

"And that's not the end of the story. That November, Jacob wanted to come visit me for Christmas. Maria ... I was pregnant. I couldn't face him, so I told him not to come.

"God help me, I did fall in love with Jacob, but I was afraid of what he would think of me. I never meant to hurt him. My mom knew I was writing to _that guy in La Push_, and she made me stop corresponding. I had hoped he would forget me. I guess he didn't. I'm so sorry, Maria. I need to tell _him_ that too."

A loud sigh sounded over the wire. "Wow. Hindsight is 20/20. I can't say whether or not Jake would forgive you, but I know for a fact that he thinks about you all the time. Why do you suppose he enlisted in the Air Force?"

"I figured as much."

Maria cleared her throat. "And so, now you have a baby?"

"Yes, a little boy. He's eighteen months old. James has never seen him. He wants nothing to do with him."

My fingers were nervously drumming on the paneling by the hall phone. "Please don't tell Jacob any of this. I want to tell him myself. Um ... do you think he would even want to see me, or would it be too painful?"

"I can only guess. If it were me, _I'd_ want to know what happened. Whether or not _he_ wants to see you after being so hurt is another story, but I'll bet the answer is yes. Jacob is strong—he's also forgiving. I've no doubt that he's still in love with you; it shouldn't make any difference to him. But I guess we'll have to see for sure.

"You'll come then?"

"Yeah, if you think I should."

"It's just my opinion, but, yes—come on down ... or up, I mean." She giggled softly.

"I'll send you my address, with directions. You can stay at my apartment. I'll invite him over when you get here, and then skedaddle, so you two can have some privacy. When can I expect you?"

"I'll be there on the seventeenth. I don't want to ruin Jacob's time with his dad."

"Okay, see ya then. I'm so excited. Things are going to work out. I just know it!"

"Bye, Maria, I hope you're right." _God, I really hope you're right_.

* * *

JPOV:

I woke up to the sound of Already tromping into our CHU. When I opened my eyes, He apologized. "Sorry, I didn't know you were asleep in here."

Stretching and groaning, I flashed my wristwatch in front of my unfocused eyes. "Damn, I didn't mean to be out this long."

Already walked toward me, scanning the blanket. "What's that on your cot? Is that a new letter?"

"Yeah, it's from Maria."

"Didn't I get any mail today?"

"Guess not."

"Crap, well, maybe tomorrow. Hey, did you eat yet?"

"Nah ... I wanted to look at my mail first."

He leaned over my cot, his face in mine. "You don't look too happy about it."

I waved the envelope in front of him, and taking out the slip of paper, pointed to the last passage. "Here—read this last paragraph."

Already took the page from me and silently mouthed the words. "So?"

"Soooo? I mean, how am I supposed to feel about this? Suppose she shows up in La Push. I haven't seen her in like ... two years. She dropped me without a word of explanation. I just—"

"You have got to be kidding me. I don't believe it. You're surrounded by HESCOS to ward off bullets and mortars, and there are people trying to blow you out of the sky every day. And yet you're telling me that you're scared witless of a little girl?"

"Ah, c'mon. I wouldn't put it that way."

"Well then, how would _you_ put it?"

"I'm not sure I want to see her, that's all. I'm scared of how I'll react, or how she'll react. I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of her."

"I tell you what—you'll be a bigger fool if you don't take the risk. You and I both know that you're dying to see her again. You don't need to listen to me, but this might be the best thing to happen to you."

"Okay, but what if I get myself all worked up and then she doesn't show?"

"Then you get off your butt and go look for _her_. Now let's get to chow already."

* * *

The next day, Mac and I had a really close call. We were back at Ambush Alley again, and this time there were several insurgents with RPGs. Where the hell did they get this stuff? The people could be starving, but the arsenal stores seemed to be pretty freakin' healthy.

Goddmmit, we couldn't land to pick up our wounded. We kept circling, hoping the ground troops would pick them off, but the suckers always managed to escape, and we were too close to our own men to fire. Then, one of them launched his load; it was headed straight at us. At the same time, another grenade was heading for the helo that Already was in. Smokey, cut away abruptly, just as we tried to dodge our grenade's trajectory. The problem was, we were right on course for a midair collision. I spotted them in the nick of time. Lucky for my fast reflexes, we missed broad siding them by a couple of millimeters. The grenade meant for Already flew wide of its target, but ours hit—knocking out one of the landing wheels. I guess it could've been worse, but I was shaking so bad, that Mac had to take over, flying us back to Warhorse.

Ordinarily, my adrenaline would be so high that this little incident wouldn't have fazed me. But with my leave coming up, I stated thinking—suppose I don't make it home? I almost bought it today. I bet Already was about to pee in his pants too.

By the time we were closing in on the base, my nerves had settled down.

Mac stopped chewing his gum for a second to say, "That was way too close for comfort. You okay, Scrapper?"

"Yeah, sorry I lost it back there."

"Hey, I don't blame you. That was one scary situation. I've only had one other near collision like that. Good thing you saw Smokey coming toward us, or that's what we'd be—nothin' but smoke." He added, muttering, "Retirement's looking better and better."

He handed me a stick of gum. I waved it away. "Nah, I'm all right now."

Mac actually turned to me, laughing. "We haven't landed this bird yet."

I grabbed the gum. "Sh**! I forgot about the landing wheel."

"Hug your horses, kid, this is gonna be a bumpy stop."

The ol' salt radioed ahead to have emergency help on the ground when we got there, but it was unnecessary thanks to his flying experience.

Captain Fairfax drove up with the emergency team right after our landing. "Welcome home, guys. You two can chill out for a while. I don't want you out there again today. Now, move it!"

* * *

I sat on my bunk, contemplating my mortality. Death had stared me in the face this morning. How many more times could I escape its jaws? I suddenly felt desperate to see my family one more time—maybe even that girl that broke my heart—before I checked out of this life.

I heard movement outside the CHU. Already was back from his run. He walked through the door and plopped onto his cot, exhausted, his head sinking into the pillow.

"I never want to do that again. Thanks for saving the day. We'd all be in body bags by now if you hadn't seen us coming.

"Six more months—I can't wait to get out of this stinkin' hell hole. What are we doing here anyway? We clean out one town, and the very next day, the insurgents are right back in business. They're like cockroaches, crawling out of the woodwork.

"I tell you, if I ever see Pam again, I'm never letting her go. I'm not going to argue with her, or complain about taking out the garbage, or helping with the dishes. I'll just thank god to be safe in her arms."

"Amen to that."

* * *

My leave was only two weeks away, and I'd received another couple of letters from Maria. There was no mention about Bella again, so I guess I wouldn't be seeing her after all. Now, I stupidly felt disappointed. What was wrong with me? She did mention a cousin of hers—one she tried to set me up with a time or two. I just let it slide, and didn't comment on it when I finally wrote back. Not interested.

* * *

Well, I made it in on the plane to the good ol' US of A, and miraculously I was still in one piece. Flying over Washington, it was almost a shock seeing everything so green, when desert tan had been my color palette for so many months.

Seth Clearwater picked me up at the airport and talked my head off the whole way to La Push. The sign finally came into view, and I have to admit, I got a little misty-eyed. It was so good to be home.

A lot of people were at the house to greet me; I only wished that Quil and Embry could've been there too. They tried to get leave granted at the same time as me, but it was _no go_, so I had to suck it up.

My dad was waiting on the porch for me. He couldn't wipe the grin off his face. He was proud of his son, the soldier. He hugged me so tight, I was sure my eyeballs were bulging. Jeez, the man was in a wheelchair, but he had some grip!

"Welcome home, Son. Glad you could make it."

"Glad to be home. You have no idea how glad."

There was quite a spread set out for all us hungry people. Sue Clearwater outdid herself. She must've been baking for days. Turns out that my homecoming was also doubling for Dad's birthday celebration, 'cuz there was a big cake sitting outside on the picnic table.

Dad wheeled into the house while I followed. I stepped into the room to give my sister a hug. After kissing my cheek, Rachel pushed me away from herself. "Let me look at you, little brother. Wow! You're a man now. Lookin' good in that uniform, too. I'll bet the girls are always hanging around, huh?"

"I wish ..."

"Here, let me have those." Rachel took away my rucksack and duffle bag, and put them in my old room in the closet. It would seem weird sleeping here tonight. Imagine having to use blankets!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Taken Leave (of his senses)

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

Rachel sat on the arm of my chair, swinging one leg back and forth. I noticed there was a diamond sitting atop the gold circle on the finger of her left hand, so I had to ask, "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yeah, I'm engaged."

"No foolin'. Since when?

Her eyebrow quirked. "Since last Saturday."

"Why the hell didn't you say something?"

"And steal your thunder? No way."

"Well, congratulations. Who's the lucky guy? Do I know him?"

"It's Paul."

My eyes must've popped outta my head. Hooh boy, was she a masochist? "You're kidding. Paul Lahote?"

"The one and only."

_Sh**, Paul. He and I go way back._ He was the bane of my existence for years. I hoped Rachel could cool his hot temper, 'cuz I was not gonna get called in to settle any family disputes, thank you very much. Jeez, couldn't she have picked someone a little less explosive, like Jared or Esau? But ... Paul?

Speak of the devil ... Paul sauntered up to us, his arm snaking around my sister's waist. "So, man, you seen any action yet?"

I no sooner opened my mouth, than Seth, Leah, and Jared crowded around to hear what I had to say.

I puffed out my cheeks, blowing out a stream of air. "If you really wanna know ... action is the order of the day. You gotta be on your guard twenty-four seven. Even at Warhorse, a grenade or a missile could scale the HESCOS and land on your head. There're fire-fights goin' on at the gates, explosives everywhere, and then they have the nerve to try knocking you the hell outta the sky. About a couple of weeks ago, this guy launched a grenade at my copter. I'm tellin' ya, Mac and I nearly collided with another chopper, trying to avoid being hit. We almost bit the dust literally. I'm lucky to be sitting here."

Seth sat there with his mouth wide open. "Whoa! That's some story, man. I can't wait—you know I'm thinking about joining up."

Leah roared, "Over my dead body!"

"Mine too. Jeez, Seth, didn't you hear a word I said. That place is crawling with the enemy, and you never know who he is, 'cuz none of them wear uniforms.

"As soon as my tour is over, I am never going back. We can't ever relax. Our adrenaline is always pumping. The only break we get is our monthly visit to the orphanage. And let me tell you—it's pitiful. There are more orphans than there are cats and dogs. I wish I could take a couple of those kids home with me."

Sue motioned to us, breaking up the conversation. "C'mon outside; we're going to sing happy birthday to Billy."

We filed out to the backyard, singing a birthday song, and watched as Dad blew out his candles.

* * *

Sue and Rachel cut and served the cake, that's when Maria finally got through the crowd so she could talk to me.

She set her cake and soda on the coffee table. "Hey, Jake. How's it feel to be home again?"

"Great! It's nice to be able to stand up and not have my head in someone's crosshairs. No noise either. Sometimes, Nightmare—that's our artillery unit—would have their freakin' guns pounding away like thunder all night long."

I laughed, saying, "I probably won't be able to sleep tonight. Maybe I should pay someone to stand outside my window and bang on a pot."

Maria put a bite of cake on her tongue. "How much longer do you have to serve?"

"Six, long, miserable, hot months. You better know, I'll be kissing the ground when I finally come back to stay."

I took a swig of my soda, grasping at what the hell to say next. I came up with, "How's your sister?" _Jeez, that was lame._

Looking up at me, Maria swallowed another bite, and answered, "How should I know? She's so wrapped up planning her wedding, that she doesn't even talk to the rest of the family."

"So ... any other news?" Okay, admittedly, I was beating around the bush, but I couldn't just come right out and ask about the one subject that interested me the most. I had my pride.

Maria was infuriating. She hadn't mentioned Bella at all. My friend sat there, lifting the fork to her mouth, and shrugged. Was that it? Was that all? Damn, I guess I had to resign myself to the fact that Bella was probably gonna stay in Tempe, and like Already suggested, if I was ever gonna see her again; I would have to go to Arizona and find her myself.

* * *

The party broke up early; Rachel and Paul took off to go dancing, and I stayed at the house helping my dad get in bed.

I arranged the blankets around him. "Great party, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was. This was the best because you were here. Thanks for coming home, Son."

Dad reached out to hug me once more, and left a kiss on my cheek. Hooh boy, I nearly lost it.

"Goodnight, Dad."

"Goodnight, Jacob."

Surprisingly, I slept soundly all night through, and instead of reveille, I was awakened by the sound of a squirrel chittering in the tree outside my window._ I am sooo gonna miss this when I go back._

The cool air brushed over me as I went into the bathroom to shower. Afterwards, I felt like I could face anything. Little did I know that my world would be upended tomorrow, by a one hundred ten pound girl from my past.

* * *

BPOV:

You would think I was a spy, the way I was sneaking around, packing clothes and toiletries for my trip. Dad knew I was going, and bless his heart, he didn't say a word about my plans to Mom. She was definitely going to pitch a fit when she found out that I'd flown the coop. Poor Dad, he was going to bear the brunt of this. If she finds out that he was party to my scheme, he'd be delegated to the couch every night until I got home.

It took us two and a half days to reach La Push. I arrived at my friend's apartment late on the 17th, and my little Michel was out when I reached the front door. Maria squealed when she saw me, then whispered as she realized that the baby was asleep. I lay him down on a makeshift bed beside the futon I would be sleeping on. He was so bushed; he never even stirred when I got him all tucked in. I let him sleep while Maria and I unloaded my car.

After everything was put away, Maria commented, "You look wonderful. I'd never suspect you had a baby.

"Oh my gosh, I have a million things to ask you, but you must be tired, so I'll wait until morning. I'll go on to bed so you can get ready to do the same."

Sleep did not come easy that night. I was a nervous wreck. I kept telling myself: _You're just here to apologize. Don't get your hopes up. If he doesn't want you anymore, well then ... at least the air has been cleared. It's not like you don't deserve it. Life will go on with or without him._

* * *

The apartment was small, the all in one kitchen and eating space sectioned off by a metal strip along the carpeting in the living area. Michel was up, walking around the room. Maria was at the table keeping an eye on him.

I sat upright, brushing back my bed-head. "Oh, Maria, I'm so sorry. I didn't hear him get up."

"Don't worry about it. He and I were getting acquainted. He already had some cereal; is that okay?"

"Sure. He doesn't have any allergies that I know of." Reaching out to him, I coaxed, "Come to Mommy. I'll bet your diaper needs changing, huh, soggy britches."

Michel toddled over to me, and I swept him up in my arms. Grabbing a disposable diaper from one of my bags, I changed him quickly. After washing my hands, I sat across from Maria with my son seated on my lap.

Maria got up and crossed the room,stopping in front of a cupboard door. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"I don't know ... something light, I guess. My stomach's a little queasy. I'm kind of nervous."

"Well, you've got to eat. And then I want you to wash up, fix your hair and put on some makeup."

"Oh god, did you tell him? He knows I'm here? What did he say?"

Leaning back against the counter, she said, "No, calm down. He hasn't got a clue. As far as he knows, you're still in Arizona. The poor boy was fishing for some information last night, but I kept it a secret. I could tell he was pretty disappointed."

"How did he look?"

With eyebrows raised, she declared, "He's Jacob Black. How do you think he looks? And in that uniform? Phew ... he is some smokin' hot stuff!"

"Gee, thanks, Maria. Now I'm _really_ nervous. I hope I don't throw up when he walks through that door."

Maria giggled. "You better not. The manager just had this place re-carpeted."

* * *

Three hours later, I was dressed, groomed and polished. Maria did my hair. It was almost a déjà vu of the time right before the military ball. She had done my hair that evening too. We tidied up the place, and she was ready to make the call to his house.

Holy cow, I felt light headed, and my stomach had fallen down to my feet. I would've put my head between my legs if I wasn't afraid of messing up my hair, knowing that Maria would kill me if I did. _God ... please don't let me faint ... or vomit ... or do anything to embarrass myself._

* * *

I was struggling to keep my breathing even, as she picked up the receiver.

Maria grimaced in my direction. I guess I must've looked like I was heading to the gallows.

"Hey, Jacob. It's Maria, have you got any plans today? Oh, good. Come on over. Yes, I mean right now. You haven't seen my apartment yet. What do you mean? Well ... I might have someone here I'd like you to see. You owe me, Jake, so get your butt over here. I already told her you were coming. _Noooo_—I can't un-tell her. And shower first; I want you to make a good impression. Great, I'll see you in twenty minutes then. No ... and you'll thank me later, Romeo."

Maria put down the phone, and brushed her hands together. "Like taking candy from a baby. He's on his way."

She handed me the key to the apartment. "Just in case," she whispered. "I'm off. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

My knees started to shake the minute she left, so I kept Michel on my lap, hoping that his little warm body would somehow calm me—it didn't work.

The time sped by, and soon I heard the roar of a motorcycle. Footsteps approached, and a series of knocks sounded. I swallowed hard, perched Michel on my hip and opened the door.

* * *

JPOV:

Peace and quiet. Now this was my idea of R&R. I already saw practically the whole tribe two nights ago, so I didn't have to wear myself out goin' door to door, to say hello.

I got to mess around with my cycle yesterday too. I'd entrusted it to Seth's care, and he did a good job with the upkeep. Sergeant Crowley would have approved. Maybe I would hop on and go to First Beach—walk around, feel the breeze and listen to the waves crash onto the shore.

I decided to be lazy; the hell with shaving! I was even roamin' around this morning in my skivvies. But it was 9:00 A.M. already and if I wanted to fraternize with seagulls, I guessed I'd have to get dressed. I was on my way to the garage to rev up my bike, when the phone rang. It was Maria.

She asked if I had any plans; I stupidly told her the truth. "Not really, why?" Then she launched into how I hadn't seen her apartment. It sounded fishy. Why would she need me there _right this minute? _Dammit, that sneaky devil ... It's that cousin of hers that she's always trying to fix me up with. I told her several times that I wasn't interested. "Okay, Maria, what's goin' on?

"Uh-huh ... Jeez—you already told her I'd see her? Well, just un-tell her then. Do I have sucker written across my forehead, or what?" There went all my plans to be lazy today. "All right, all right. I'll shower, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna shave. Give me twenty minutes. Bye, Maria. And by the way, did anyone ever tell you that you're the matchmaker from hell?"

* * *

I actually hurried to shower and get back into some clothes. I wanted to get this thing over with as fast as possible. On the blitz—attack and run—that was my plan. I raced to the Taj, and got on the bike.

Maria's apartment wasn't hard to find. I strode to the front door and knocked.

Suddenly, I was blinking in shock, 'cuz there in the doorway stood—not Maria's cousin—but the girl that ripped my world apart.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Topsy Turvy

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

Sh**! All of a sudden, my tongue dropped dead in my mouth, and my brain slipped into a coma. My feet however were in perfect working order, and I drew back a few steps. Then without uttering a word, I turned around, marched down the sidewalk and hopped on my motorcycle, tearing out of the parking lot. I got halfway to the end of the block, when my conscience got the better of me. What the hell was I doing? She came all the way out here to see me, and I was running in the opposite direction? Dammit, Already predicted this. I was scared to death of her, or at least my reaction at seeing her again.

All the past heartache came swarming over my own personal HESCOS, like a rain of mortar shells. But I stopped the bike, and taking in a couple of deep breaths, swung it around and started in the opposite direction. Sticks and stones ...

My hands were shaking badly as I retraced my steps up to the entrance of the apartment. I rapped loudly on the door to be sure she heard me. It opened slowly, and this time I noticed that her eyes were all red.

She moistened her lips, and for a frozen moment, we just stared at one another. My god, she was as beautiful as the last time I saw her, even with her eyes all wet from crying. I cleared my throat nervously. "Hi, beautiful ... I'm sorry for leaving like that. It was such a shock, you know. I never expected to see you here."

She nodded and softly answered, "I know."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure ... um ... Maria left so we could talk. After all, that's the reason I came."

I stepped inside, and Bella directed me to the futon. We sat beside each other, and I watched the little boy she was holding earlier, climb onto her lap.

I shook his tiny hand. "I take it, this isn't your brother." Our eyes met, and there was no mistaking it. "He has your eyes." _Those deep, chocolate, heart stuttering eyes._

"Yes, he's mine. His name is Michel."

"So ... you came all this way to tell me you're married?" I was starting to feel a crushing weight in my chest.

She looked away, a rose flush sweeping across her cheeks. "No, I came to say how sorry I am for not explaining why I broke it off with you so abruptly. I ... I didn't marry James."

_Whaaaat? _That didn't make any sense. "Isn't this his child, though?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Does that mean you're not married, then?" I closed my eyes, hoping to hear the answer I was looking for.

She sniffled and dabbed her nose with a tissue. "No, I'm not."

"But you stayed with him all the time we were writing to each other. I didn't understand why. And from what Maria told me, he wasn't good to you, either."

"My mother wanted us to stay together. She begged me to marry him, but I just couldn't. I didn't love him, Jacob."

She lowered Michel to the floor; her tears began in earnest now. "I was in love with someone else."

"By someone else, you mean ...?"All at once, my heart stood still. _Please say I'm that someone_."

Those pretty doe eyes looked up at me, and suddenly I knew! I took her hand in mine, holding it to my heart. "Wait—you're saying ... that I'm ..."

She nodded, the sobs getting louder.

The air rushed out of my lungs, and I couldn't help myself. I pulled her roughly to my chest, then cupped the back of her head. Her crying was quieted by my hungry lips as they targeted her sweet mouth. All the while, my heart was doing cartwheels, my bones were melting to goo, and my eyes were threatening to spew great big tear drops. Then, out of the blue, the stupidest thought entered my head: _Why the hell didn't I shave this morning?_ The poor girl was gonna have a serious case of whisker burn.

Hooh boy, we were crushed so close together, I swear she was practically under my skin, but Bella didn't back away; in fact her explosive response was fueling my fire. Michel extinguished the flames however, as he crawled between us; so we had to unseal our lips, dammit. I couldn't get mad at the tiny squirt though, he was too cute.

With my hands touching either side of her face, and gazing right into her eyes, I managed to say, "I've wanted to do that now, for two years. I couldn't forget you, Bells. And even after all this time, I'm still in love with you."

"Jacob, I'm so sorry," she groaned.

_"_No—I don't want to hear any more apologies. You're with me now; we're together. That's all that matters_. _I don't give a rat's ass about it. You don't have to say anything. I'm just glad that you're here. That alone tells me plenty."

* * *

BPOV:

Maria was right. When Jacob came to the door, the sight of him took my breath away. He was no longer a boy, but a man. His features were more chiseled, more defined, stirring up _more_ butterflies. How could I have stupidly given him up? I should have confessed my mistake to him, and dumped James when the jerk went off to Vegas.

I was rooted to the spot as his warm brown eyes invaded mine. I tried to look away, but they held me prisoner for a brief moment. It wasn't that long though, because he backed away from the threshold. His long legs carried him to his motor bike, and I watched, choking back tears as he left me humiliated, standing in the doorway. I guess I came all this way for nothing. He hadn't forgiven me for my cruel treatment, and I accepted the fact that I deserved it. But it didn't make me feel any better. I burst into tears. My hopes had once again been shattered, and I was a fool to think otherwise.

I closed the door literally and figuratively. Jacob was gone, along with any dreams of a future with him. I slumped back onto the futon, and let the drops fall. Michel's little hand stretched up patting my cheek, and his head nestled on my shoulder. I carted him with me into the bathroom, grabbing a Kleenex to blow my nose, and wipe the wet steaks from my face. I returned to the living room when I heard someone pounding on the door. Putting my son on the floor, I answered it, hoping desperately that it was Jacob coming back.

His powerfully built frame took up the whole entry way. A half-smile formed on his lips as he sheepishly uttered, "Hi, beautiful."

Then incredibly, he proceeded to apologize to me, for leaving so fast. I invited him in, and we sat together awkwardly on the futon. Michel joined us, by sitting on my lap.

Jacob scanned my son's face, then with his gaze penetrating deep into my eyes, he said the inevitable. "I take it, this isn't your brother."

I answered honestly, and he looked pained as he asked if I was married. His eyes were closed, waiting for my reply. When I denied it, and told him that I didn't love James, it was as if a switch had been flipped inside of him. He opened his eyes, letting out the breath he was holding, while I explained that I couldn't marry my past _mistake_.

He questioned _why_ I didn't marry James. The words wouldn't come, but somehow he saw it in my eyes. Jacob realized that he was the reason. He knew that I was in love with him.

I started to cry, but without warning, his strong arms had me crushed to him, his lips moving passionately with mine. His mouth was warm, soft, insistent; like they would never take no for an answer. They were silently coaxing me to reciprocate, and holy cow, did I ever. God help me, but I came alive, responding to him like no other.

James was an _okay_ kisser, but he had nothing on Jacob. This man had my heart dancing. It was better than that time after the ball, because I no longer felt any guilt. My ex was a thing of the past, and Jacob—my present, and hopefully, my future.

My sobs were quickly silenced. I pressed closer and closer, the feel of his taut muscles making me tingle inside. My gosh, what was going on? I couldn't control my hands. They rubbed against the scruff on his cheeks and chin; they explored his thick black hair, and traveled over his muscular shoulders and neck.

I was aware of becoming slightly dizzy, and happy, and overwhelmed with such mixed emotions. Reveling in his snug embrace, I felt protected and loved.

As Michel interrupted our desperate clinch, I gathered my thoughts. I wanted to give Jacob a thorough explanation of what severed our relationship. He needed to know.

"I have to tell you what happened," I started.

He put out his palm to stop me. "I don't give a rat's ass about that. You don't have to say anything. I'm just glad that you're here. That alone tells me plenty."

"But I have a child," I told him.

"So? I don't care; I love kids. I'll adopt him. Then he'll be _our_ child." He tickled my son under the chin. "Huh, Michel."

Just then, my little guy wedged his head into the curve of my neck, his fists clutching onto the fabric of my shirt. "Mine," he bellowed.

Jacob chuckled. "He's gonna have to learn how to share though."

I settled Michel on my shoulder, and with pleading in my eyes, said, "Please ... Jacob. Let me explain. I don't want you wondering why all this happened. You did nothing wrong.

"I was pregnant, and too ashamed to tell you. That's why I couldn't let you come visit for Christmas that year.

"You told me once that you didn't want to be around ... you know ... fast girls. I didn't sleep around, but I wasn't as pure as you made me out to be either."

Jacob grabbed my hand, holding it to his cheek. "Bells ... it wouldn't have made any difference to me. By that time, I was so in love with you, I would've forgiven you anything."

"Still ... I felt like I had let you down, even if it was before we met. I just couldn't face you. And then when I got pregnant, I thought you wouldn't want me anymore. It was hopeless."

Touching my hand to his mouth, Jacob kissed my palm, and said, "God, Bells, I wish you would've told me the truth. We could have avoided all this heartache."

With trembling fingertips, I traced his mouth. "But there's more. My mother tore up all your letters but two. They were thrown in the recycle bin, and I was too late to retrieve them. She forbade me to write to you. Mom accused me of leading you on. The truth was I had fallen in love with you. It killed me to leave you with no explanation, but I had no other choice.

"Everyone, except my dad, urged me to marry James, but I refused. I realized he wasn't a good person—he even wanted me to get rid of our baby, but I couldn't do it. The remorse would have eaten at me my whole life, exactly like the remorse I felt over breaking your heart.

"Anyway, that's the whole sordid story, so now you know."

"C'mere," he said, softly, as he tucked me to his side. "There's nothing to keep us apart anymore. I'm never letting you go again.

"You know ... you're not the only one to blame here. I could have persisted. I could have badgered you to death. The problem was, I figured you didn't love me, and I had to accept that fact. But, I couldn't seem to move on. I still thought about you, even in Iraq. No other girl was you. You were the one, and the only one for me."

Jacob sighed, then kissed me once more, while Michel played in the kitchen with some blocks. Neither of us heard the key in the lock as Maria returned to the apartment. She entered quietly when she saw us together, attached at the lips.

Our eyes finally opened when we sensed her presence in the room.

"Well, will you look at this! See I told you he'd be glad to see you—more than glad, I would say."

Breathless, I uttered, "Hi, Maria."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: I Don't Know You

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

JPOV:

"But I have a child," she asserted.

"So? I don't care; I love kids. I'll adopt him. Then he'll be _our_ child." I tickled him under the chin. "Huh, Mikie."

Just then, the little guy in a show of ownership, climbed up to her neck, and hung like a little monkey onto her blouse. "Mine," he bellowed.

The kid was possessive, not that I blamed him.

Bella continued to discuss our breakup. I didn't really want to hear that confession. It was irrelevant as far as I was concerned. Anyway, even if she would've told me everything back in that particular December, it wouldn't have changed my mind about her. I was already head over heels. So, I took her soft little hand and holding it to my cheek, explained that to her. As I dropped her hand, she touched it to my mouth, and I placed a kiss on her palm.

If only she had told me the truth—if only ...

With trembling fingers, she traced the outline of my lips, as she finished her story.

Since we were each baring our souls, I decided to take a little of the responsibility, myself. I could've stubbornly continued to write. I had her address too; there was no reason that I couldn't have gone out to Tempe like I planned. And why didn't I? If I had confronted her, she wouldn't be here now, making amends. My only excuse was, maybe she didn't love me the way that I loved her. At this moment, I could see that was an erroneous assumption on my part. We were both stupid, and wound up miserable as well.

I tucked her to my side, wishing I had some glue to keep her there forever. But glue or not, I'd do everything in my power to make her stay with me.

I parted my lips, and her fingers stopped their circling, and now crept along my jaw, and behind my ears, finally plunging them into the hair at the nape of my neck. I leaned forward, as Michel climbed back down to the carpet, finally reaching her waiting mouth once more. I pulled her onto my lap trying to get closer, and she cooperated willingly. Hooh boy, she was more than _cooperating_; she was stoking my fire.

We were so absorbed in our pursuit of happiness, that we failed to hear the front lock being opened, or the apartment's actual resident's footfalls as she entered the room. She made some crazy comment, but I didn't listen to it. Bella greeted her with a _Hi_, but I rudely waved her away, moaning, "Leave us alone. We're just getting reacquainted," while I resumed our lip locking activity.

Maria laughed. "I can certainly see that.

"Hey, you guys want some lunch?"

Out of the side of my mouth, I managed to say, "We're not hungry."

"Something to drink?"

"Go _awaaaay,_ Maria," I sang. "Can't you see I'm on a roll, here?"

Bella came up for air, and attempted to push me back, but I squeezed her tighter and hung on a little bit longer. Let's face it, I didn't want to let go. I knew Bella didn't want me to either; she was just being polite, dammit.

I sighed, loosening the hold on my _reason for living._ "Okay, you win," I grumbled. "What's for lunch?"

"I don't know ... you're buying."

With mock annoyance, I blared, "You would take advantage of a poor soldier on leave?"

Maria winked, and shot back, "Hey, I told you that you could pay me back later. And it _is_ later, isn't it?"

* * *

We ate at _The Pasta Palace_. Correction ... Bella, Maria and I ate. Michel played hockey with his food, chasing it around on his plate with his spoon. Apparently his goal was to see how many noodles he could land onto the floor with a slap-shot off the tray.

Amusement aside, I didn't mind paying the tab, especially knowing that this was for my girl—god, my girl. Those two little words were a treasure that I would store in my brain for eternity. Anyway, like I said, I didn't mind paying; what I _did_ mind was having Maria hanging with us. Was that being ungrateful? I should've been ashamed for thinking that way—after all, Maria was the catalyst that got us back together. But I just wanted to be with Bella ... alone.

I returned to the table just as Bella got ready to extricate Michel from his highchair. I held up my hand. "I've got him."

Bella started to protest. "Michel doesn't know you yet, Jacob."

I lifted him gently, holding him to my chest.

"He ... won't ... go ... to ... you."

Michel was happily batting at my dog tags.

Grinning at her, I gloated, "You were saying?"

"Gosh, he sure took to you fast enough."

Too bad his mother didn't do the same. I smirked, shamelessly. "I have a way with kids. It's my Jacob Black charm."

I tried handing him to Bella, but the little squirt had a death grip on my tags, and was yanking so hard, I was practically choking.

My girl laughed, and flippantly remarked, "No, I think it's the _charms_ hanging from your neck."

She proceeded to pry his fingers from the metallic objects. That did it! Hooh boy, that child let loose with a wail that could summon the devil, himself.

"Let me ..."I told her. Pulling him close again, I drew the chain up over my head, and gave it to the little thief. He seemed pleased, and gave me a smile that warmed my heart. I could get used to this kid real easy.

Bella had a look of astonishment on her face. "No kidding. I think he really likes you."

Maria stood there, shaking her head. "Well, there's no accounting for taste."

* * *

Michel fell asleep on the way to the apartment, and Maria offered to watch him so Bella and I could take a stroll on the shore at First Beach. I had her fingers laced with mine, and held over my heart. The wind was blowing cold air—cold enough so that we couldn't stay too long. I did get to show her _The_ _Love Seat _though, a big driftwood log which served as a center for lovers who wanted a place to look out at the waves, and make out like crazy. It was covered in ice today; so its purpose wasn't that enticing to us at that particular moment. It's funny how a little ice in your shorts kinda negated any heat you were trying to generate, if you get my drift. Not much makin' out would take place here 'til the spring thaw, I guess.

I was thankful that Maria lent us her car. Bella could've gotten sick riding in this weather on the back of my motorcycle. We huddled together in the back seat of that vehicle for a spell, while I blew on her hands, rubbing them between my own to banish the chill.

"That should do it," I boasted. "How 'bout I warm up your lips next?"

A shy smile dawned on her face, and I took that as my cue. I kept her lips busy for the next several minutes, then decided to let them talk for a while instead. I was curious, not about what happened in the past, but how she managed to be here out of the blue.

"Tell me something, Bells. Did you decide all on your own to come to La Push?"

Her head bowed, and she looked down at our hands clasped together. "No, I was too cowardly. I broke your heart, and I didn't think you'd want to ever lay eyes on me again."

I tipped her head up. I went so long without seeing those chocolate eyes, and I'd be damned if I got gypped again. "Then what made you do it? I really wanna know."

"A good friend of mine realized that I'd been in love with you, and in fact was still in love with you. She told me that, well ... maybe you were the _one_—that I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't find out for sure. She made me promise to see you, and I agreed. I knew that even if you had moved on, I at least should make an attempt to apologize for my actions."

"And are you sure now, I mean ... that I'm the one?"

She tried to look away once more, but I held her gaze steady, my hand on her cheek, coaxing her face back in my direction.

With her eyes beginning to well up, she whispered, "Maybe you are, but I'm scared. I don't know you, Jacob. I think I need to be around you awhile, so I can learn about you, and know you better."

Jeez, that stung a little, but I was sure I could convince her that we were destined to be a couple. "I guess my new mission then, is to make you see that I _am_ the one." _And this is the one mission that I'm glad to volunteer for._

"Jacob ...?"

"Yeah?"

"Shouldn't we be getting back? Michel will be waking up soon."

"I know. Can't we stay here a little longer? I just wanna be alone with you for a few more minutes. I can't waste a moment; I have to go back in eleven more days. That doesn't give me much time to persuade you that I'm the love of your life.

I didn't like the inches that separated us. "C'mere, honey. You're too far away. I want you near me."

She scooted closer, and my arms immediately wound around her, my nose nuzzling the side of her head. "It's gonna be hard to get on the plane. I wish my tour was over."

"Me too," she murmured.

* * *

BPOV:

Jacob wasn't the least bit embarrassed to be discovered with our mouths literally latched together. I had never been seen sitting on a guy's lap before either. If it hadn't been Maria walking through the door, I would've died on the spot. She asked me to come here, so she probably expected the scene unfolding in front of her.

He tried to shoo her away, but Maria persisted, asking about lunch. Jacob finally caved, and we were in Maria's car on the way to refuel our stomachs.

My besotted soldier brought us all to a restaurant called _The Pasta Palace_. I watched Jacob as he sat, amused at my son's antics.

After we finished eating, I went to get Michel out of the highchair. Jacob snuck in ahead of me, saying, "I got him."

I warned him that Michel wouldn't go to strangers, but the joke was on me. My little man was cheerfully playing with Jacob's dog tags. When I held out my arms to him, he clung to those tags, nearly throttling the poor guy.

"Mine!" he kept yelling.

Then Jacob did the sweetest thing. He removed his tags and gave them to Michel, who was now happy as a clam at high tide.

By the time we arrived at the apartment, Michel was sound asleep. Jacob carried him inside, laying him down on his blankets. He rubbed his back, and patted the brown curls on his head. I was in awe at how gentle and loving he was with my son.

He reached out and retrieved the dog tags, still in Michel's hand, and slipped them back over his own head.

Maria stayed with Michel while Jacob and I took her car out to visit First Beach. He wanted to show me around, but we only got as far as a driftwood bench, that the residents nicknamed _The Love Seat_. It was freezing out, and the wood was covered in a thin layer of ice. Oh well. I'm sure it got plenty of use during the summer months.

Being an Arizona native, I wasn't used to this kind of weather, so we hurriedly returned to the car to warm up. Jacob took care of _that_ instantly. He rubbed my hands, and blew his hot breath on them, then anxiously attended to my mouth again. Holy cow, his kisses were turning my insides to mush. I could barely think straight. Thankfully he let loose of my lips, before he wore them out, and asked about my decision to come to La Push.

I couldn't look at him, as I shamefully admitted how cowardly I was. He canted my head with the tip of his finger, not allowing me to avert my eyes. After confessing how my friend wheedled me into promising to see him, I tried to look away again. He stubbornly held his hand to my cheek to prevent it.

It must've hurt him, when I said I wanted to find out if he really was the one—that I needed to know him better. His crestfallen expression disappeared just a second later though, as he announced, "I guess my new mission then, is to make you see that I _am_ the one."

We snuggled together for a while longer, even though I started to worry that Michel would wake up. Then, Jacob said the words that nearly broke me. "I wish my tour was over."

God, he would leave, and go back to that horrid place. How could I know if I ever would see him again? The new life that was just beginning would see an untimely end. My heart was beginning to ache already.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Warming Up

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

I keyed the ignition, and told Bella, "You want to know more about me, huh? Pay attention, now. Okay ... I'm six feet, five inches tall, and I weigh 230 pounds last time I looked. I love the color, chocolate brown. I'm a sound sleeper—I could probably sleep in the middle of a hurricane. My favorite movie is Dances with Wolves ... for obvious reasons. And song? _Make You Feel My_ _Love_, for even more obvious reasons.

"Let's see—I'm up at the crack of dawn, so I can get stuff done early in the day ... I like to keep busy, especially tinkering with my car and motorcycle. After my tour, I'll go to college and earn a business degree so I can set up a school for would-be pilots. I value honesty, loyalty and courage. I hate gossip, and people that are phony. I'm a talker, but you already knew that. I'm pretty patient, and don't have much of a temper. Why get angry all the time? Life's too short. And—I don't ever leave my clothes lying around or my hair in the sink. The military taught me to be neat.

"I'm a one-woman guy as you probably can tell." I stopped for a second to take a breath, and then rambled on. "Right now my top priorities are: getting through the next six months, and marrying the beautiful brunette that's sitting next to me."

I turned my head and winked at Bella. She was covered in a splotch of red. "Damn, girl, you are so cute when you blush like that."

She squeezed her eyes shut and mumbled, "Jacob, please ..."

_Jacob—_why did she always have to use my name so formally? "Hey, Bells, can you do me a favor?"

Her eyes opened. "Sure, what's that?"

"Can you call me, Jake? No one calls me Jacob except for my dad."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, just call me Jake from now on, okay?

"Now where was I? Oh, right—hobbies ... hobbies ... I do some wood carving and I paint a little."

She actually looked impressed.

"Really!" she intoned.

"Yeah, really.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know, besides the fact that I'm crazy about you?"

My favorite chocolate circles did a somersault in their sockets, as she muttered, "Really ..."

"Yeah, really."

We pulled into the parking lot. "Sh**, I'd be sharing my sweetheart again. The maiden voyage of our love boat ended much too quickly.

One arm snaked around her waist as I helped her out of the car. I could hear Michel crying on reaching the door. He must've just woken up.

I followed Bella into the room, and Michel jumped into her arms. He sniffled a few times, and buried his head into her shoulder. I knew how he felt; I'd be feeling the same way when I have to leave my girl behind in another week and a half ...

* * *

BPOV:

I realize that I said I didn't really know him that well, but ... Oh. My. Gosh! My newfound love spouted a veritable encyclopedia of _everything you wanted to know about Jacob Black but were afraid to ask_. His likes, his dislikes, his hobbies, his hopes, and dreams—which included me—were all laid bare before my eyes.

My face was a red mask as he admitted, "Right now my top priorities are: getting through the next six months, and marrying the beautiful brunette that's sitting beside me."

He certainly didn't hold back, but I felt that things were rapidly spinning out of control, and he had his hand on the switch that controlled it. I was in love with him, that much was true. But I had fallen in love with the boy of two years ago. Was that same boy still inside of him? I needed to discover that for myself, and time was running out.

Jacob thought he had eleven more days to weave his magic on me. I didn't correct him, but I actually had to head back to Tempe in only seven days. I came by land, not air, and the semester at ASU would be starting the day after I arrived home. My time with him would be precious.

One of the things I was beginning to like about Jacob was his great manners—and his respect for women in general. What a gentleman he was. He would consistently open doors for me, pull out a chair from the table, and help me in and out of the car. James would beep the horn at the curb, and yell at me to get my butt in gear, or he'd leave without me. Jacob was definitely racking up points in my book.

* * *

I knew our little trip couldn't last forever, but we seemed to arrive at Maria's faster than I expected. I heard Michel crying as soon as Jacob opened the car door for me. He escorted me to the apartment, and my son leaped at me the minute I showed my face. I felt awful about leaving him in these strange surroundings but at the same time, Jacob and I needed to be alone for awhile. Poor Maria, I hoped she didn't have to hear him wailing for too long.

Wincing in embarrassment, I looked at Maria, while I gently patted Michel's back. "I didn't think he'd wake up so soon. Has he been crying all this time?"

"He just woke up a few minutes ago. No harm done. Did you two get to talk?"

"Well, Jacob ..." I'd forgotten already, and looked to Jacob in apology. "... sorry, I mean, _Jake_ did most of the talking."

"That's not surprising. Where'd he take you?"

I sat down, still holding Michel, and Jacob followed. "We went to the beach, but it was so cold, we had to cut it short and get back in the car to get warmed up."

Maria smiled, knowingly, and took a seat across from us. "I'll bet you did." Then winking at Jacob, she remarked, "So ... Jake you did your best to keep her warm, huh?"

Jacob shrugged, innocently. "Hey, she was shivering. I felt it my duty to keep her from freezing to death. Did a damn fine job too."

I had to cover my mouth to stifle a giggle.

* * *

Jacob continued talking our ears off. When he wasn't busy amusing us women in the room, he was entertaining Michel, giving him horsie rides on his back, or chasing him around the room.

Maria ordered us a pizza, and for the first time in ages, I laughed as we sat at the table eating, and listening to Jacob's funny anecdotes.

"When am I ever going to meet those two hell raisers?"

"They'll be home same time as me. I'll have to keep an eye on Quil tho'. He's a sly one around the ladies. I don't want him trying to charm you into his arms."

"You should talk," I fired back.

"Yeah, but he charms all the girls, whereas I only want my charms to work on one particular girl."

Afterwards, Jacob helped me get Michel bathed and ready for bed. He konked out quickly and the rest of us turned out the lights, and watched a movie.

At nine o'clock, Maria said, "Well, kiddies, I have to go to work tomorrow, so keep it down, huh ..."

My soldier took that as his opportunity to squeeze me tighter to his side. We were snuggled together so comfortably, that I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder. When I woke up, I was surprised to find myself stretched out on the futon, with the covers pulled up, and Jacob lying beside me. My arm was resting at his neck and my cheek nestled against his chest. I guess he didn't want to leave last night. And like it or not, at least subconsciously, it looked like I was glad he stayed too. But in my wakened condition, I was mortified.

* * *

JPOV:

I kept the party goin' by my non-stop stories, mostly about my best buds, Embry and Quil, as we were growing up. Maria had a few to add in too; unfortunately a lot of them included me. It was good to see Bella laugh for a change, and if I could, I would see to it that she'd have a ton of smiles and laughs from now on.

Michel was warming up to me. I gave him rides on my back, played hide and seek, and made towers out of blocks just so he could mow them down. Bath time came around, so I carried him to the tub while Bella got out his clean clothes. The little bugger giggled while he splashed me with water, but I got even. I held his head still while Bella shampooed and rinsed his hair. Man, it was like wrestling an alligator—with curly hair, and big brown eyes.

After his bath, he sat between Bella and me, and suddenly got drowsy, tipping sideways onto my lap. I let him sleep for a few minutes, then Bella carted him over to his blankets.

Maria put on a movie and turned off the lights. I couldn't tell you what was playing; I was too busy sliding up Bella's arm with my hand, or twining a tendril of her mahogany waves around my finger. Maria finally called it a night, and I immediately yanked Bella closer to me. She sighed, dropping her head to my shoulder. I don't think either of us meant to, but we fell asleep.

I heard Michel shifting in his makeshift bed, and I woke up. My head had lolled back against the futon; Bella was sleeping on my shoulder. Leaning back slightly, I let my arm lower her slowly to the cushion. I walked to the other side of the futon and let the back down to make the surface wider. The bedding was on the ottoman beside it, so I grabbed a pillow and gently placed it under her head. The blankets, I lay on top of her. She looked so sweet in the glow from the lighted hallway. It was hard to resist the urge to crush her to me, but I was a good boy. Well, maybe not that good, 'cuz, I couldn't bear to leave her—not tonight. I had just found her again. So, I put another pillow beside her head and slipped under the covers.

She let out a moan and turned toward me, nuzzling her cheek along my chest. I lifted my head, and kissed her hair, then lying down on the pillow once more, closed my eyes and drifted off.

The next morning, I felt something soft and fuzzy brush against me, then another warm something tapping me on the arm. Turning toward whatever it was, I warily opened one eye, and looked straight into the wide brown orbs of a cute little toddler. I smiled and said, "Hi, Mikie."

He climbed over top of me, landing on his mother's hip. Bella was disoriented. She tipped her head up and gasped, pulling away from my chest.

Uh-oh, she was awake. Supporting myself on my elbows, I peered down at her, and sheepishly commented, "Uh ... you're not mad at me, are you?"

She stiffened and pulled the covers up more firmly even tho' she was fully dressed. "What are you doing in this bed?"

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't leave. You looked so cute, all cuddled up on your pillow. My heart couldn't take it. So I had to stay."

Her face was chalk-white, and she looked appalled. I guess she really was upset. _Real smooth, Jake. I guess this was not a smart move on my part. I should have gone home._

"Did anything happen last night?"

"Not that I know of."

Sighing, she remarked. I told you I'm in love with you, Jake, but I'm a little gun shy yet. I need some time."

Damn, time was something I didn't really have enough of.

Maria came out of the bedroom, dressed and ready for work. Her eyes narrowed as she exclaimed, "Are you still here?"

"Hey ... It's not what it looks like."

"So you're not in bed with Bella."

"Well, yeah, but ...

"I mean—no, nothing happened. Scout's honor."

"You never were a boy scout, Jake. You better go if you know what's good for you."

I sprang up, put on my shoes, and reached for my coat. Then I hunkered down beside the futon, and took Bella's hand. "Please don't be mad at me. I'm really sorry. I would never had done it if I thought it was going to upset you like this. I only wanted to be with you."

She nodded, and pressed Michel to her chest. Maria grabbed my arm and dragged me outside, on the way to her car. "Are you nuts? You're putting the moves on her too fast. Just because she had a baby, doesn't mean she's an easy target. I hope you didn't mess this up. How can you be so stupid?"

I looked down at my feet, and kicked at some loose gravel scattered on the sidewalk. "Seemed like a good idea at the time. I guess I really screwed up, huh?"

"Ya think? You've got eyes. Didn't you see that look on her face? Well, get on your bike, and go home. Take a shower, and this time shave, for god's sake. Have some breakfast and then call her. I'll do the same and try to get her to understand your feelings.

"Look ... I know you're crazy about her, and want to rush into this relationship, but you need to take it slower. You're lonely, I get that. And Iraq wasn't paradise, but Bella's life hasn't exactly been a bed of roses either. She's just getting to know you again. You've been given another chance at love—so don't ruin it."

Maria got in her car, and I hopped on my bike. _Jeez, I hope I didn't blow this!_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Making Things Right

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

BPOV:

The last thing I remembered was leaning my head on Jacob's shoulder after Maria said goodnight. My gosh, I was so comfortable, but then, I felt Michel jump on me and I was rudely awakened. Not only was I awake, but I was acutely aware that I was resting on a human pillow. That manly scent was surrounding me, and I looked up into those warm brown eyes. God, I was so embarrassed, and upset at the same time. Was he here in bed with me all night?

He assured me that nothing happened, but still ... I couldn't help the way I felt. I loved him, I did. I just wasn't a touchy-feely type of person, and he was ... affectionate to the nth degree. I'm sure he was looking for more too, and I was not ready for that. My lousy relationship with James soured me on sex. I didn't know if Jacob could change my attitude about it, and I _was_ willing to try, only not at such a fast pace.

Call me a prude, but I was in shock. Even being with my ex, I never stayed the night with him—ever.

After seeing my reaction, Jacob apologized profusely. The poor guy looked like I chopped his arm off, and what did I do? I sat there like a stone and nodded. Would he even speak to me again, after that _nothing_ response?

He put on his shoes and coat, and Maria dragged him out the door. Dumb bunny that I was, I sat there, dazed. With the blanket still stretched up to my neck, I heard the roar of his motorcycle, as he was leaving. I ran to the window with Michel still attached to my hip, tapping at the glass to get his attention. I imagine the noise from his bike drowned out the timid little taps I made. _Come back_, I wanted to yell, but it was too late.

Maria had shown me around her kitchen, so I made Michel and me some breakfast. I took a short shower, and made up the futon. It was then that I realized that Jacob had put the back down and did everything in his power to make me more comfortable. Some _thanks_ I gave him! I flopped onto the seat thinking this would be a long day with no one to talk to, when the phone rang. Narrowly missing a close encounter with the floor, I anxiously picked up the phone.

"Jake," I breathed. What a disappointment—it was Maria.

"Sorry, it's only me. Just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine."

"Bella ... I was there this morning, remember? You're not fine—not even close. I saw the expression on your face. It wasn't the smartest thing I've ever seen that guy do, but I talked to him about it. Jake's been without you for so long, and he got ahead of himself. He didn't want to let go of you. It's as simple as that. You _are_ going to forgive him, aren't you?"

"He's already forgiven. I can't believe how I reacted, but everything's happening so fast. His feelings were hurt, I'm sure. That wasn't my intention. I only wish that things would progress a little more slowly."

"That's exactly what I told him. He's such an eager beaver. The guy is crazy about you— and I mean crazy. Can I tell him to call you?"

"Would you? Yes, and thanks, Maria, you're a doll."

"Okay, I'll call him right now, so I can get back to work before the boss catches me on the phone."

The apartment suddenly seemed so small as I traipsed back and forth waiting for the phone to ring. Michel was nestled in my arms, his hands tugging at my hair. Twenty minutes had elapsed until the ringer went off. I took a deep breath, and putting my son down on his feet, answered, "Jake ..."

"Bells ... Bells ... Are you still talking to me?"

"Oh, don't say that. I—"

"No ... I was stupid. I wasn't thinking. I just love you so much; I have to be around you."

"Stop, please stop. I wounded you, and you didn't deserve it. I totally overreacted. Being scared was no excuse for me to do that to you. I want to trust you, I do."

"Then trust me. I would never hurt you, honey. You're my girl now, aren't you?"

"Yeah ... I'm your girl."

"I've got to see you, Bells. Can I come over?"

"Yes, please. I want to see you too."

"Be there in five minutes."

* * *

That five minutes seemed to stretch out forever. I kept looking out the window watching for a sign of his arrival, but I still missed it. Expecting the rumble of his motorcycle, I was surprised when I heard his distinctive knock. Apparently, this time he came in his car. When I opened the door, we rushed into each other's arms, his lips muffling my words of apology.

"I'm so, so sorry," he gasped between kisses.

"Me too," I groaned.

Jacob held my face in his hands as he confirmed, "I think God put too much love in my heart. I don't know what to do with it all. It kinda overflowed out last night. You know I wouldn't ever harm you. I just wanted to be close to you, that's all."

I led him into the room, holding his hands, and sat on the futon, facing him. "You didn't do anything that horrible. I'm just a little nervous. I wish I could relax and trust you."

"How long?"

I didn't understand what he was asking. "How long, what?"

"How long do you have to know a person before you love him enough to trust him?"

"I can't truthfully answer that. You're aware of the history with my ex, aren't you?"

"Not really. Tell me about him. Maria and Mike filled me in a little. Is that why you find it so hard to trust me?"

"That's part of it. I'm really leery about getting into a sexual relationship. I can't afford to make another mistake. Are you sure you want to hear this?"

His eyes were so bright with intensity. "Sure, sure. I wanna understand how he did this to you."

I clasped his hands tighter. "Whenever James and I were intimate, all I ever got out of it was physical pain, and he didn't seem to care about that."

"That's 'cuz he was nothing but a sunnuvabitch; he _didn't_ care! I hate to say it, but when it comes to sex, some men are like animals. They disgust me. They're so selfish. They only want what they can get for themselves. Sex shouldn't be that way at all.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Did James leave you before or after you had the baby?"

My son scrambled up then, scooting onto us, playing with our jewelry and the fabric of our clothes. I had to keep pulling his hands down before he broke the necklace from my throat, or removed my earrings.

"Well, let's put it this way—after my parents found out, he just never came back."

Jacob feathered his fingers along Michel's tiny hands, then gathered him to himself, seating him on his lap. "That hurts me."

"It's okay, Jake. It happened a long time ago. It doesn't bother me anymore."

He stroked my face, looking concerned. "It still hurts me.

"I'm telling you right now, you don't have to worry about me on that account. I won't ever touch you, if I think it will hurt you. But you have to realize that I want you so much I can hardly stand it. That doesn't upset you, does it?"

"A little ... yes."

"Bells ... what kind of a man would I be if I didn't want you? You won't love me any less because of it, will you?"

"You _are_ a man, and I guess that's only normal. How could I love you any less?"

"That's good, but hooh boy, I find it hard to control myself at times when I'm around you. I'll try to do my best. And don't ever be afraid to say no. As much as I want you; I'll wait 'til you're ready. It doesn't matter that much to me. Just as long as I can be near you, I'll be happy.

"God, I don't know what I'll do when I can't see you every day tho'. It was the pits bein' away from you for even a few hours this morning. I'll probably go insane."

"Holy cow, after hearing my sad story, you still want me?"

"Hell, yeah. I couldn't find a girl like you if I searched for twenty years. Until I found you once more, I thought I'd just go on and on. I don't ever wanna feel that way again. I'm complete now—it's like you're a part of me.

"So whaddya think? Could you also feel like I'm a part of you?"

"God help me, but you already are."

"Then I hope I'm a big part."

It was stupid I know, but as I looked into his warm brown eyes, I began to miss him, even as he sat right in front of me. My eyes started to tear up when I thought about him going to Iraq. "What am I going to do when you go back?"

"You're gonna go to school, take care of Michel and write to me every day. No excuses this time.

"Now grab your coat, and I'll carry Michel. We're goin' to my place so you can meet my dad."

"Are you sure he wants to meet the girl that broke his son's heart?"

"No, he wants to meet the girl that's making his son so happy."

* * *

JPOV:

I made sure I was clean shaven, even though admittedly, I didn't have that much facial hair to speak of. No sense tempting fate. Let's face it, I was dyin' to kiss her again, and my whiskers could get in the way of that. I slapped on some men's cologne too, while I was at it. Hooh boy, I was like a loaded pistol, ready to fire, Bella bein' my target.

The kitchen was just about done being cleaned up. The last bowl was put back on the shelf when the phone rang. It was Maria.

Anxious to say the least, I practically yelled at her. "Spit it out, Maria. I'm in a hurry here."

"Slow down, Romeo. Geesh, you need to chill out.

"All right, here it is ... she forgives you. But—you've got to tread lightly though. That girl has been bruised badly. It's no wonder she reacted that way.

"Listen up. I never told you this, but before she came up here, she confessed that she's in love with you. Do you hear me? Now get over there, and charm her ... I was going to say her pants off, but it's too soon for that. So just charm her socks off, okay?

"Gotta go. I did my part. The rest is up to you two."

"Hey, Maria?"

"Yeah?"

"You're the best. I owe you."

"You betcha."

* * *

I waited a while, not wanting to sound too desperate. It was no use. It got to the point where I thought I would jump outta my skin if I didn't hear from her soon. Soooo ... I dialed Maria's number and held my breath.

That sweet voice answered on the first ring. Bella was as breathless as I was. We kept interrupting each other, trying to apologize, but it was time to settle it face to face. Besides, I needed to _see_ her face when I talked to her.

I told her I'd be there in five minutes. There was a light snow flurry outside, so I took the Rabbit.

Breaking every speed record in La Push, I raced to Maria's and was at the apartment in no time. When she opened the door, there wasn't any hesitation on her part at all. We both collided, each of us apologizing over and over. Things were good between us. She was still my girl.

We sat down, holding hands, and locking eyes as we delved into some pretty heavy issues. Michel all the while, was climbing over both of us, pulling on Bella's necklace and earrings. Then he'd trade off, swatting at my dog tags. Maybe I should get the little squirt a set of them.

The conversation went well. It all boiled down to: I wanted to jump into loving her head first. She wanted to move cautiously, testing the water before getting her ankles wet. The truth was, I'd do anything for her—anything to make her mine. I wanted to marry this girl. I couldn't let her slip through my fingers, now could I?


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Meet My Dad

Disclaimer:S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

It was obvious that Bella had a problem trusting me. So I asked her out right, "How long?"

She didn't understand my meaning. I guess I just assumed she was privy to the sequence of thoughts in my brain. I thought we had established trust between us when we were writing to each other, but apparently we were separated for too long. We had to build that trust all over again. It would be doubly hard since James treated her like sh**. How I'd love to get my hands around his neck.

Hooh boy, that ex of hers was some piece of work. When she told me how he hurt her physically and emotionally, I just about came unglued. How could he treat her that way? Sex was supposed to be a two way street; looked like he was in the right turn only lane—the right turn for him, that is. And he left her before Michel was born? What kind of a man was he?

My heart sank when she said, "Let's put it this way—after my parents found out, he just never came back."

That sweet little boy had never seen his own father? Well, that's his loss; I would be more than glad to take over the role of daddy. I loved kids, and this tiny guy had already wormed his way into my heart. I couldn't help smiling at him as he gleefully clinked my tags together. I definitely had to get the kid a set of his own.

I'd never really poured out my soul to a girl before, but I had to let her know how much I loved her, and couldn't ever hurt her the way that jerk did. I was honest though, and confessed, "I won't ever touch you, if I think it will hurt you. But you have to realize that I want you so much, I can barely stand it."

Bella was a bit unsettled by that statement, but what could I do about it? It was normal and natural that I would want her. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't ever felt those hormones pumping in my veins when I was near other girls, but this was different. I never wanted any other girl the way I wanted Bella. It was so hard to control myself around her sometimes—a constant battle. If I wanted to win her, I would always have to be on my guard. Maybe I was jumping the gun, but god, I wished we were married already.

I felt that everything that needed to be said, had been. But then, there were suddenly tears in her eyes, as she inquired, "What am I going to do when you go back?"

My heart soared at her comment. That meant she'd be waiting for me. It gave me a good feeling, confirming that she really cared.

I struck while the iron was still hot. It was time to introduce her to my father.

* * *

BPOV:

Jacob carried Michel out to the car; I followed, even though my heart was in my throat. Suppose his dad didn't like me. After all, I caused Jacob such misery; he was bound to have some resentful feelings toward the girl that was so heartless to his son.

The only sound in the car was Michel in his baby seat, babbling. Jacob turned to me, running his thumb along the back of my hand. "Don't look so terrified. He's not going to eat you."

"Easy for you to say. He'll probably hate me."

"He's not gonna _hate_ you. He'll love you just as much as I do."

I rolled my eyes. "I wish I could share your confidence."

"Hey, take it easy. It'll be fine, I promise. Just don't faint on me."

_I hadn't even thought of fainting—god! _"Oh my gosh. Did you have to say that?"

Jacob actually snickered. "Don't worry. I have fast reflexes; if that happens, I'll catch you."

* * *

We drove along a snow banked road to a small, faded red house he called home. His dad greeted us at the door. He sandwiched my hand between his two, and peered right into my eyes. "You must be Bella. Come on in, I was expecting you."

Billy was in a wheelchair, but he was not thin and frail like I had assumed. He looked to be tall and robust, with long black hair, worn loosely, and warm dark eyes, which crinkled when he smiled. Those brown eyes reminded me so much of Jacob's. He even had the same flirty way about him. He must've driven the ladies wild in his younger years. I could tell where my guy got his _Black charm_ from. His easy manner calmed me, and I put all my worries aside.

Wheeling toward the living room couch, Billy motioned for me to sit down. "Let me have a good look at you, Bella." He gazed at me thoughtfully, then his eyes turned to Jacob for a moment. "You're so right—she is beautiful. Great taste, Son."

Holy cow! I could feel the heat spread over my cheeks.

"Modest too, eh?

"I'd like to see that boy also. What's his name?"

My son was perched on Jacob's knee. "This is Michel."

"Well, Michel. You're a handsome little boy. You want to come sit with me in my wheelchair?"

Spreading his arms wide, Billy gestured to Michel, who answered by scrambling up my soldier's leg. He latched onto his neck in a chokehold, burying his face in Jacob's shoulder.

"Maybe next time?"

Jacob shrugged, and held Michel tighter. "He's just a little shy—huh, Mikie."

Billy backed away a few feet. "Well, where are my manners? Let me get your lady friend here, something to drink."

"Hey, don't bother; I'll get it."

Jacob handed Michel to me, and waltzed into the kitchen.

Staring at me a few seconds, Billy said, "You've made my son very happy, and I'm glad for that, but I need to know something very important. I don't want to see him hurt again, so I'm not going to mince words. Can you honestly say now that you love him?"

He was certainly to the point. I answered as best as I could. "In all this time, I never stopped loving him. There were just some circumstances that I mistook for obstacles. If I had been brave enough to share my problems with your son, none of this heartache would have taken place."

With his head canted, Billy replied, "I see. You know, Jacob has never loved another woman. You're it for him, so if what you say is true, then you have my blessing."

"I won't ever leave him, Mr. Black. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I was stupid and scared, and hurt both of us. It'll never happen again."

"That's good. By the way, you can call me, Billy."

Jacob entered the room, with a tray of three filled glasses. He placed one in my hand.

"What's good?"

"That she loves you."

A grin cracked Jacob's face. "Yeah, I know. How 'bout that?"

Billy frowned. "Now, don't get cocky, son."

I couldn't resist. Rolling my eyes, I teased, "Jacob ... cocky? _Neeeever!"_

They both laughed.

Billy raised his glass. "To Jake and his Bella. May you both always love one another."

All three of us tapped our glasses together; the clink sounding loudly in the peaceful room. We each took a gulp. That's when Michel balked, wanting a sip too.

* * *

Jacob made us some sandwiches for lunch, and we all sat at the kitchen table. It was amazing watching the dynamics between the father and son. They were always ribbing each other, but none of it was done in a demeaning or mean-spirited way. If Jacob took after him in that respect, he'd make an excellent father, himself.

After eating, Michel fell asleep in my arms. Jacob grabbed a pillow and some blankets off his bed, and gently wrapped him in them. We said our goodbyes and I sat with him cuddled up close to me, on the front seat of the car.

We only drove a few yards behind the house, when Jacob stopped near the front entrance of another faded red structure. He got out, opened the entryway, and driving forward, parked the car.

"Well, here we are—my man cave." He wiggled his eyebrows. "I call this my Taj Mahal. It's where all my mad mechanical skills came about.

"I'll show you around the place, but first, let me put the back seats down so Michel can nap while we ... whatever. You wanna _whatever_ with me?"

This man had a knack for tickling my funny bone, and I let out a giggle. "Okay, I'll whatever."

Jacob quickly let the seats down flat. I lay my tiny sleepyhead on the pillow sitting on the surface of the hatchback, and Jacob shut the door closed.

His arm swept out in a circle in a show of pride, as he escorted me about the garage. His workbench had pegboard attached where all his tools were organized, and in excellent condition. Beside the bench, stood his motorcycle, the trolley, hung on a peg behind it. The cement floor was swept and free of clutter. In one of the back corners sat his weight equipment, and in the other, a bookshelf with auto parts stacked neatly. There was a small fridge which was unplugged at the moment, an overstuffed loveseat, and a revolving stool that lined the rest of the wall. I was impressed.

He had already told me that he was a usually neat person, but seeing was definitely believing.

Walking up behind me, he made a belt of his brawny arms around my waist. He murmured into my ear, "So whaddya think of the Taj?"

"I'm amazed. There's not a pin out of place."

My hand was in his speedily. He hauled me to the loveseat. "C'mere, honey. Enough about the Taj; I wanna know what you thought of my dad."

I nodded my head and smiled. "I thought he was very charming. I liked him."

"I could tell he fell under your spell too. Not that I blame him. What did he say to you, anyway? You know, when I left you two alone."

"He was protecting you. He wanted to know my true intentions."

His head moved closer. "And what did you say?"

"I told him, I wouldn't ever leave you again."

"Thank you, Bells."

Oh god, the look of longing that appeared on his face! He let out a sigh, while his hands nonchalantly raked the hair back away from my forehead. My neck soon became a trail for his nose, nuzzling up and down, and behind my ear. That little move gave me goose bumps. Did I ever have a guy give me goose bumps before? I didn't think so. I definitely would've remembered that.

Goose bumps and butterflies—I couldn't get rid of them. Even so, I was still hesitant to let myself go. I had a long way to develop some faith in him, but my body was slowly telling me otherwise. I started to tremble slightly.

Jacob pulled away. "You cold?"

"No ... I—"

My message was clear. His mouth dropped open, quickly upturning into a smirk. "Oh ... so you liked that, huh?"

"Um ... uh ..."I stuttered and stammered but darn it, no words would come out, not that they needed to.

"It's okay, Bells. I understand. It's making me crazy too."

Facing him, I reached out touching his cheek. It was so easy to love this man. His intense brown eyes held such promise for me. The tenderness displayed there, fairly permeated my soul. His cupid's bow called to me, and I answered, actually pressing my lips to his. That never happened before. We either kissed in unison, or he was the initiator. But I couldn't help myself; his face was before me, and he was so stinkin' adorable.

Jacob seemed pretty pleased with that answer, because he hooked up with me readily. His mouth was so warm and soft and inviting. I didn't think I could ever get tired of kissing him. And as he hugged me closer, I could feel the outline of his chest muscles. I paid attention this time to every sensation. Those muscles were hard and firm, whipping my already fluttering butterflies into a frenzy. How had I not noticed it before?

We kissed until the point of no return. Jacob removed his hands from my hair, and I dropped mine from the back of his head. We gazed at each other, breathless, then reluctantly started to get up from the loveseat.

Hooh boy, we better walk around outside for a few minutes," he offered.

I just looked up at him innocently enough, when he added. "Hey, don't give me that look. You started it."

I smiled as I said, "Yeah, I did, didn't I?" _And loved every minute of it._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Breaking the Ice

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

A/N: There are several songs mentioned in this chapter, _Cruel Summer_ by Ace of Base, _You Were_ _Meant for Me_, by Jewel, _I Want You Back_ , by N Sync, and _Stayin' Alive_ by the Bee Gees. Here is the link for _Stayin' Alive_:  watch?v=Fa9n7GirhsI

* * *

JPOV:

Hooh boy, I couldn't believe how nervous Bella was at meeting my dad. It's not like he was some ogre or something. Dad was always truthful and kind. I knew he would honor his side of our bargain too; he'd never embarrass me.

Anyway, we got to the house without incident, and thankfully she didn't faint. I would be there to see that she didn't hit the floor at any rate. And ... true to my prediction, he charmed her.

Bella seemed to relax, but Michel was like a mountain climber, scaling up my legs and hanging onto my neck for dear life.

My girl and my dad had a conversation goin' when I went into the kitchen to get us all some drinks. I wondered what he said to her. They were still smiling, so I guess it went okay.

We ate lunch, and her little tyke fell asleep. I wanted to show Bella the Taj so I took a couple of blankets and a pillow off my bed, wrapping the bedding around him. My sweetheart held onto Michel for the short trip out to the garage. I parked inside, then put down the seats so he'd have some place to sleep. While he was out, I proudly gave her a guided tour.

The Taj wasn't that big, so the excursion only took a few minutes. I was curious as to what she and my dad spoke about, so I parked us on the loveseat. It was just as I suspected. Bella said, "He was protecting you." But the next sentence blew me away. "I told him, I wouldn't ever leave you."

Jeez, that remark pierced me with such force. My heart was overflowing with all these tender emotions. I needed to touch her, and surrendered accordingly. I was no longer even remotely in charge of my hands. They were drawn to her, smoothing her hair away from her beautiful face. Before I knew it, I was kissing and nuzzling my way along her jaw, and up behind her ear.

She began to shiver. "You cold," I asked her.

Her non-answer knocked me for a loop. She could not utter a single coherent syllable—which spoke louder than any words she could have formed. I hit a hot spot, and she confirmed it. I mentally filed that fact away.

I tried to keep a straight face, but my joy was such that my lips turned traitor. She liked what I was doing, and couldn't deny it.

She faced me—those doe eyes of hers practically setting me on fire, and then her hand lightly touched my face. Hooooh, I pressed my cheek against it, and turning into a blob of jello, closed my eyes for the full effect. To my surprise, a pair of lips were suddenly moving with mine, and I voluntarily jumped in, joining her.

Now I had a problem with my unruly hands. They were longing to feel the skin on her body, and I let them travel wherever she would allow it. But it wasn't enough. We kissed 'til we got to my limit, and had to slam on the brakes. I needed to cool down quickly, so I suggested we go for a walk.

I couldn't believe the look on her face—like she was this innocent angel, when she was the one that started kissing me! Well, at least she admitted it.

Taking her by the hand, I led her outside. We walked, and talked 'til we heard Michel crying as he woke up.

* * *

Back at the apartment, I helped Bella fix dinner for Maria, Michel and me. Who knew cooking could be this much fun? I nibbled on the food as it was being prepared and nibbled on Bella just for the hell of it.

"Do I need to throw you out of the kitchen?"

"Why? What did I do?"

Uh-oh, the hands were on the hips. "You're distracting me."

"And you don't like me distracting you?'

"No, I do like it. That's why it has to stop."

I grabbed her for the umpteenth time. "Okay, I'll stop," I pouted.

"Why don't you go bother Michel. I'll bet he'd love to be distracted."

"Michel," I crooned. "Wanna horsie ride?"

* * *

The food was lip-smackingly scrumptious. Man, that girl could cook. If my dinner companions would've turned the other way, the plate would literally be licked clean. But being polite, I just scraped the remaining morsels with my fork. I hoped that didn't seem too uncouth of me.

We went through the routine of getting Michel ready for sleep time, then played some cards. I couldn't concentrate on the game, tho'. I wanted Maria to get the hell to bed so Bella and I could quit squinting at the cards, and gaze into each other's eyes instead. To canoodle on the futon would be my idea of a fun game—one that I would never tire of. I'm only too sure that Bella would agree.

Maria won the last hand, and called it quits, thank god. Before she retired to her room, she gave me a warning look. I got that message quickly.

"Okay, okay," I muttered.

* * *

We kissed and cuddled and talked. Then we cuddled and kissed and talked some more. Then the crappiest subject surfaced.

"When do you have to go back?" she asked.

I didn't even wanna think about it, let alone talk about it, but it was like this big elephant was present, raising his trunk in the air, sucking our happiness out of the whole room.

Sighing, I reluctantly answered, "I'm leaving on the 31st. I take the red eye out. Technically the plane lifts off the tarmac at 2:00 A.M., the next morning."

Bella was quiet. I wondered what she was thinking.

I couldn't stand her silence, so I blurted, "We don't have much time, honey; I gotta know. Am I growing on you yet? The suspense is killing me."

Her head jerked back, and she looked at me incredulous. "Do you think for one minute, I'd be sitting here with you, if you weren't? I just need to be sure that you're the same boy I fell in love with at encampment. People change, Jake, and sometimes not for the better."

"Not me, I may have changed physically—full of battle scars, that's for sure." I pressed Bella's hand to my chest. "But my heart is the same, and I'm giving it to you for keeps. That boy is still in there, Bells. He still loves you."

The fingers of her other hand began to ruffle through my hair, sending chills down to my toes. "I often wonder what you even see in me. Why do you love me so much?"

"I don't know why, I just do. There's something about you. Maybe we were destined to be together before we were born on this earth. I only know I want to be with you, and I desperately want you to love me, and trust me. C'mon, Bells, give it a shot."

"I want to believe you; I do."

She started to pull her hand away from my chest. I clenched it more tightly. "Then do it. It's the damn truth. I'd never lie to you."

Bella canted her head, resting it beside mine. "I'll try really hard. I promise."

"Okay but I'm making you a promise too. I'm gonna ask every day if you've finally decided to be mine—heart and soul."

We stayed in each other's arms, until I felt that Bella was about to nod off. I dragged myself away from her after the last of my goodnight kisses and drove home. Without my girl beside me, it seemed so much colder in my room that night. No amount of extra blankets helped either. Looked like I needed her love to keep me warm—corny, but nonetheless true.

* * *

BPOV:

Trying to start dinner was practically impossible with Jacob underfoot. He helped a little by cutting up some of the vegetables, but mostly he was like a piece of Velcro, stuck to me and following my every move. He played with my hair, bussed my neck, and had his hands on various parts of my anatomy. It was making me crazy—in a good way, but it had to stop if I was ever going to get the food on the table.

For some reason, he didn't get that his moves on me were very distracting. I let him know in no uncertain terms, that this couldn't go on. I threatened him, "Do I need to throw you out of the kitchen?"

His palms were raised to the ceiling. The man was clueless. "Why? What did I do?"

As if ... Men!

I convinced him to play with my son, so I could get the work finished. I could hear them laughing and fooling around in the other room as I went on cooking.

Maria came home, and we all sat at the table to eat. I could tell that Jacob liked what he ate, because he had second helpings of everything. He even used his fork to scoop up any remaining bits of food on the plate.

We played Rook after I put Michel down for the night. Maria was winning, but only because neither Jacob, nor I could focus on the game. Jacob kept looking at me so wistfully, I felt like throwing down the cards and climbing onto his lap. It was so unfair that one little look from him could pierce my heart so successfully.

When Maria went off to bed, he lost no time leading me over to the futon. Who was I kidding? I wasn't exactly resistant. If he hadn't taken the lead, I would have.

We kissed for awhile, and talked about this and that, all the while skirting the issue of his leaving soon. I finally put it out there, asking, "When do you have to go back?"

The light in his eyes dimmed. "I'm leaving on the 31st."

That was four days after I needed to return to Tempe. How was I going to tell him that? I decided to wait 'til the last minute. It would put a damper on our time together, so I kept it to myself. Maybe that was unfair, but I just couldn't bring myself to let him know.

The conversation reverted back to the trust issue once more. I guess he was getting pretty antsy about it, because he said, "Am I growing on you yet?"

Truthfully, he _was_ growing on me, but my heart was being very cautious. Was he the same boy of yesteryear? _That_ was the boy I fell in love with. If I could only be sure ...

Jacob tried to convince me that he hadn't changed, and he looked so sincere. Absentmindedly, I'd begun combing my fingers through his hair as he held my other hand right above his heart. I could feel it thumping wildly, and was tempted to throw caution to the wind, but somehow my brain won out. There was no room in my pitiful life for another mistake. Could I allow myself to believe every word he uttered?

"C'mon, Bells, give it a shot," he coaxed.

I promised him that I would.

When I awoke the following morning, Maria had already gone to work; Michel was still asleep. I ambled over to the kitchen table, and noticed a note lying there from Maria. It read in bold letters, _Have fun with lover boy!_ Darn, I wished I could be as certain of him as she was, but she had known him all of her life. I'd have to get a little heart to heart going with her.

* * *

Michel was fed and dressed and ready to face the day. So was I. My purse strap was on my shoulder, the car seat in one hand, and Michel positioned on my hip. Halfway to the parking lot, I was met by that handsome devil, Jacob.

God, there should be a law against looking that good first thing in the morning.

"Hi beautiful. I was just coming to see if you'd like to go sightseeing with me. Looks like you had other plans. Where you off to?"

"Groceries. Can you yell me where the nearest store is?"

"I'll do you one better. I'll drive you there."

"You don't have to do this, Jake."

"I know I don't _have_ to, but I want to."

My soldier reached over and taking my son from me, _airplaned_ him straight to his car. Then after he sat him in the back of the Rabbit, he motioned to the baby seat in my hand. "Here, I'll take that."

Jacob set up the baby seat and buckled my little one in securely, then helped me into the passenger side.

* * *

As we entered the Thriftway, Jacob asked, "So what's the plan?"

What the heck was he talking about?

He noticed the confusion on my face. "You know—our strategy for gathering the supplies."

"What?"

"You have a list, don't you?"

"Well, yeah."

"Okay, give me half of it. I'll go to the right flank for the canned goods; you go to the left for the produce and we'll meet in the middle aisle, victorious."

I handed him the bottom portion of the list. He took Michel from me once more, explaining, "He'll be my wing man." With that, he was off pushing an empty grocery cart.

It didn't take long to fill up my cart, and the overhead music made it go smoothly. I listened to _Cruel Summer, You were Meant for Me, _and_ I Want You Back _to name a few.

Finished shopping, I started toward the center aisle when I heard a man's voice singing along with the song, _Stayin' Alive_—very energetically, and very off key.

"Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive."

Pushing the cart around to the next lane, I spotted the singing fool with my son perched on his shoulders. Michel had his tiny digits clenched around clumps of Jacob's hair; his arms safely held in my guy's large hands.

Jacob was strutting and bobbing to the rhythm of the music, much to the delight of my son, while he continued singing. "You know it's all right, it's okay, I'll live to see another day."

He whirled around without missing a beat, just as I pulled up behind him. "Busted. Uh ... hi, Mommy."

It was useless to suppress a smile attempting to break free. "I'm all done. How about you."

Jacob deadpanned, "Nah, I've still got another couple of verses."

He crouched beside the shelves, pulling Michel down from his crow's nest, and settled him back in my arms.

"I'll meet you at the register," I said.

"Sure, sure, I only have a couple more items to get."

I began pushing my cart forward once more, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bag of pinto beans sail through the air and land in Jacob's basket. I shook my head, amazed. When I got in line at the cashier counter, I could still hear, _Stayin' aliiiive, ah, ah, ive, ah, ah, iiive, ah, ah, iiive!_

Jacob was pulling up into the check out lane a few minutes later. A young woman in front of me turned and whispered, "Is he yours?"

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Hey, nothing to be sorry about, but if you ever get tired of him, I'll take him off your hands."

I smiled in response, and thought, _Fat chance, lady. I've decided to keep him all to myself._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Stayin' Alive

Disclaime: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

Bouncing out of bed, I hurried through my shower and shave. I made breakfast for everyone, ate, and drove to Maria's. Excited, much?

I'm glad I sped up my morning routine 'cuz I met Bella exiting the apartment on the way to her car. "Where you off to?"

I know I shouldn't have felt hurt, but I had to see her, and here she was going somewhere without me. It was selfish of me, but the time we had together was limited. We'd be separated before long, dammit. Our Kodak moments needed to be crammed in as much as possible, which reminded me ... pictures, I needed pictures. _Note to self—bring camera next time._

Thank god, she was only going to the grocery store. All riiiight! I could help. I would just tootle on down to the Thriftway with my life's two most important people in tow. Also, with the both of us shopping it would cut the trip in half. A win-win situation ... yeah.

I couldn't imagine how she managed to tote her baby and that heavy car seat having such a small frame on her. I took Michel and the seat from my sweetheart and set it all up, plunking the little guy inside of it. _Thriftway, here we come._

Bella tore the grocery list in half so we could each shop at separate parts of the store. I took Michel with me, for some male-bonding time. It was difficult for him to see past me, my being such a big guy and all, so I removed him from the cart and balanced him on my shoulders. He had a good grip on my hair, plus I made a couple of manacles out of my hands, holding onto those tiny arms of his. I would let go of one for a second or two, only to place an item in the cart.

There was some piped in music playing, and instinctively, my body began to move to the beat. Music was high up on my list of pleasures, and I loved to dance. I didn't care where I was, or who saw me—it was too hard to keep happy feet still. So, we gyrated along, as the groceries filled the basket. Hooh boy, then _Stayin' Alive_ started up, and I was sruttin' my stuff. _Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive._

I would challenge anyone to remain motionless while that thing was playing. So there I was really gettin'down. _You know it's all right, it's okay, I'll live to see another day._ I had just executed a perfect 360 degree turn, when Bella caught me in the act. _Uh-oh. _She didn't seem very amused at first, or else she was an expert at hiding her emotions. But then I noted a teeny little smile trying to emerge. _I was definitely getting to her._

"Hi, Mommy," I uttered.

Her list was apparently complete already. I hunkered down so Michel could safely slip off my shoulders, and handed him to Bella. She traipsed off to the register, while I tossed the last bag of beans in my cart, all the while singing the final chorus_. Stayin' aliiive, ah, ah ive, ah ah, iiiive, ah, ah, ive!_

When we got to the cashier, Bella opened her purse. Now wait a minute! I was not gonna let her pay for these groceries. After all, I was the one that ate most of them recently. I got in front of her. "What do you think you're doin'?"

She laid out some cash on the counter. "What does it look like I'm doing? This stuff isn't free you know."

I pushed the cash back toward her. "Well, I can't let you pay. You're my guest, and I get to pay for them."

She shoved the bills in the opposite direction. "Well, I won't let you do that."

I shoved them toward her again. "Yes, you will. Please let me do this."

"Jake ... I—"

I picked up the money, and set it aside. With my wallet open, I handed the cashier my credit card. "I got this. Your money is no good here, Bells, so save your breath. I don't want to hear another word about it."

Bella, sputtered and huffed, her face turning red. _Like I said,_ _Cute as a button!_

Gathering up the currency, I put out my palm. With the bills rolled in my hand, I offered, "Here, these need to go back in your purse."

"I don't know what to say."

_Jeez, talk about stubborn ..._ "How 'bout, thank you."

Those big doe eyes looked right through me as she said, "Thank you."

_Finally ..._ "You're welcome."

* * *

I made short work of placing all the goods in the car, and when we arrived at the apartment, I helped to put everything away, in between incessant nuzzling and smooching.

Bella put together some sandwiches for lunch, then it was naptime for Michel. While we washed up some dishes, I asked, "My song and dance routine didn't embarrass you, did it?"

She handed me a glass to dry. "No ... I just couldn't believe a guy like you could make a fool of himself, and actually enjoy it."

Wiping the last drops of water from the glass, I placed it on the counter, and faced her. "I _did_ enjoy it. Tell me something, Bells. Don't you ever wanna let loose and just be yourself? What are you scared of? So what if you look foolish. Sometimes acting that way is the only _sensible_ thing to do. If I hadn't acted like a fool that day in the Bx, I would've never met you."

With all the dishes washed, she dried her hands. Her face suddenly took on a serious expression. "Then I'm glad you did."

Jeez, I reached out, and touching her shoulders, pulled her toward me. And hooh boy, she about melted in my arms. We held each other for several minutes, until I kissed Bella's cheek and whined, "The dishwater's gettin' cold."

* * *

As previously announced, I took Michel and Bella to see the sights. We went to Uncle Omni's ranch to pet—and ride—the horses, and sneak a peek at Diablo, his big, mean, nasty bull. Then it was on to my favorite fishing hole, Cripple Creek, and lastly to the famous, La Push cliffs where the bravest—or dumbest of us—risked life and limb for a few measly nanoseconds of adrenaline.

Stunned, she remarked, "You're serious?"

"Yeah, it's a total rush. You gotta try it. I'll havta take you with me the next time I'm on leave again—in three months."

"In your dreams!" she quipped.

"C'mon, Bells, you only live once."

"You only _die_ once too. No thanks."

* * *

After the dinner dishes were all washed and put away, I asked Maria and Bella if they wanted to go dancing. They had a band playing every Tuesday at _The_ _Paint Pony._

"Thanks, but some people have to work tomorrow. Take Bella, I'll watch Michel; he'll be asleep anyway."

Bella, as usual, balked at the idea. "Maria ... I don't want you to feel that you have to babysit."

"Hey, it was my idea to get you two together. It's the least I can do. When I get married and have a slew of kids, you can return the favor."

* * *

BPOV:

Mortified, that's what I was. He was paying for my groceries, saying I was his guest. It made me very uncomfortable, even though it was a bighearted gesture on his part. I would feel like I owed him something, and I didn't want to owe him anything at all.

I finally let it go. Maybe it was a macho thing. Anyway, while we were doing the lunch dishes, he asked if he embarrassed me when he was bopping to _Stayin' Alive_. I didn't really mind, it was good to see him acting kind of goofy. In the back of my mind though, I thought about the words to that song. Would he live to see another day when he returned to Iraq ... would he stay alive? The idea terrified me.

We talked about letting ourselves go and doing foolish things. I had always been a pretty reserved person. The fact that I was even here in La Push, was astounding. I'd never done anything like it before. He pointed out, that meeting me was the result of his taking a foolish risk, and I was so glad that he did.

Something inside me was deeply touched at those words. When he took me in his arms, my very bones seemed to soften, as we melded together. And, my gosh, it felt so right. Now, if I could just feel this way all the time.

* * *

Jacob took Michel and me to see the horses at the ranch owned by Quil's uncle, Omni. He let us ride on one of them. The horse's name was Big Shot, and I was amazed how Jacob mounted it bareback so easily. I sat my son on his lap while he was astride the animal. It was fun watching the expression on my little one's face. He was enjoying a real horsie ride this time.

Omni took Michel from Jacob, and held his hand while my guy reached down, and one-handed, pulled me up to sit behind him.

I heard Jacob chuckle, as he felt me hanging onto him for dear life.

Looking back over his shoulder, he teased, "Don't tell me ... you've never been on a horse before? An Arizona girl like you? Jeez, Bells, didn't you ever have any fun growing up?"

"Hey, mister. I had lots of fun, playing with paper dolls, tea sets and board games."

"I stand corrected. Adventure is your middle name."

I slapped him playfully. "It is now."

He grabbed at the place where I hit him. "Ow, oh god, you just opened up an old shrapnel wound."

"Noooo ... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He laughed so hard, I thought he was going fall off the horse. "I'm just kiddin'. Hooh boy, you are so gullible. I like that in a girl."

I slapped him again for good measure. "You!"

"Ow, that time it did hurt. I'll have a big bruise by tomorrow."

"Serves you right," I muttered.

We rode slowly in the yard near the stable, and made the circle three times. Then, Jacob pulled on the reins to stop the horse. He jumped off Big Shot, and carefully helped me down to the ground. Next, he lifted Michel up, and let him pet the horse's velvet muzzle. We thanked Omni and went to see Diablo, his huge Bull.

I'd never seen anything like it. The bull was humongous, and he had a plank stretched over his eyes. It was attached to his horns by two loops of thick rope. "Why is that board lying across his eyes?"

Jacob puffed out his cheeks, blowing it out in a white mist into the cold air. "Well, he wasn't named Diablo for nothin'. Omni keeps his eyes covered so he won't charge at you. He's one vicious sunuvagun. He reminds me of another vicious Bull—Bull Metcalf. He's this guy back in the service. He's had his fist in my face more times than I can count. I'm lucky my nose hasn't been broken yet."

"That's awful." I pressed my palm to his cheek. "I like your face the way it is. Promise me you'll stay away from him."

"You got it, honey."

I leaned on the corral rail, looking at Diablo. "Gosh, they're both so mean. I wonder though, maybe Diablo is lonesome. Maybe he needs some female companionship. I'll bet that would calm him down, and make him more content."

Capturing my hand, Jacob kissed my knuckles. "There's a thought. If Metcalf had a girl like you, then maybe his mean streak _would_ go away too. Man, that'd be great. My face would welcome a vacation from bruising for a while."

Michel started squirming in Jacob's arms so we decided to leave the bull pen and go to our other stops along the tour route.

* * *

"Dancing?"

"Yeah, you know ... That's where a guy holds a girl close and they sway to the music."

"Yes, I do know, but holy cow, I haven't been dancing since one night right after Michel was born."

"Then it's about time you did."

He asked Maria to go too—I'm sure just to be polite—but she obviously had to work the next day, so she declined. She did however volunteer to watch Michel during the night. What a gem. How'd I get lucky enough to have such a good friend?

* * *

Jacob stopped on the way to the dance hall to pick up his camera, and had his dad take the very first picture. I'm sure we were both beaming.

I was surprised that _The Paint Pony_ wasn't crowded, but I guess getting close to Christmas, people were probably preparing for the holidays. I hadn't given it much thought. My presents for my mom, dad and Michel were already under the tree at home. I now needed to get a gift for Jacob, but somehow I knew he wouldn't care if I gave him nothing but my love. I'd talk to Maria about shopping for something later.

The room, although sparsely populated was shrouded in a thick fog of acrid cigarette smoke. Neither Jacob nor I smoked, so it was hard to get used to. My eyes burned, but luckily there was a heated patio outside, so we could get away from it. The band was loud enough that it probably could be heard from a mile away, so we could easily hear the music.

Jacob went to get us a couple of cokes, and returned to our table, setting them on the surface.

It seemed so odd to see a guy in a bar who didn't have a beer in his hand.

"You don't drink either?" I asked.

"Nope, never touch the stuff. Besides the council frowns on it—hooh boy, do they ever."

"I don't believe it. Nobody can be that perfect. You've gotta have some vices."

"Sure, sure I do."

Taking a sip of my coke, I cocked one eyebrow, and said, "Okay then, enlighten me. I want to hear it."

Jacob looked down at his drink, swirling the ice cubes in the glass with the straw.

For starters, I talk too much, and sometimes I tend to smart off. I'm impulsive—I'm not talking about the silly, foolish stuff. I'm talking about rushing in where the angels fear to tread, ignoring my own safety. I never miss a meal when I'm home, I just get so hungry. It's a different story when I'm flying. While I'm in the air, I'm too worried about gettin' my tail shot to pieces to think about it.

"I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, which is what got me in trouble with you at first. And I'm honest to a fault. There are probably a lot of others, but I came her to dance with you, not bore you to death."

"I'm never bored when I'm with you. And those last few vices you talked about? They're not vices, they're endearing charms."

"But you haven't heard the worst one ... I have naughty thoughts about you, Bells. All the time—day and night. I can't help it; I want you so bad. Sometimes it kills me just to look at you. I feel like I'm gonna burn up alive." He looked up at me with pleading in his eyes. "Do you still love me? Please say yes."

He looked so pitiful. "I guess I can make an exception for you."

My hand was enclosed in his within a millisecond. "May I have this dance, Miss Swan?"

"It would be my pleasure, Lieutenant Black."

He swept me onto the dance floor, and all at once I was back at encampment in the arms of a brash young cadet.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Dirty Dancing

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

My bad! I asked Maria to join us at _The Paint Pony_, knowing full well that she had to work the next morning. I had my fingers crossed that she would say no, because I was still half afraid she might hire a babysitter so she could go too. You never knew with women.

I was raring to go. Bella had other ideas. She went and changed her blouse. I didn't see what was wrong with the one she had on, but apparently she thought it wasn't fancy enough.

A wolf whistle escaped me as she came out of Maria's bedroom. She had on a clingy mint green top, and a dark green skirt, with a necklace and earrings to match.

My tongue was threatening to lodge in my throat. "Hooh, boy! You're killin' me, Bells."

She pulled at the shoulder seams, looking back and forth between them. "You want me to take it off?"

_That's what she said_. "No, ma'am, I am not touching that line with a ten foot pole. It's fine."

That green blouse mixed rather well with the red of her cheeks. Very appropriate for the Christmas season.

Oh, man, I was itching to feel that fabric; it looked so soft. Too bad it was freezing outside. She had to cover up all that gorgeous _stuff _with a thick overcoat.

We stopped off at Dad's to grab my camera, and he took a picture of the two of us. I made sure that Bella had her coat removed so he could capture her beauty on film. _The guys are gonna die when they see these pictures._

* * *

I was almost embarrassed to haul her into that smoke filled room. I heard her cough several times, and saw her blink away the stinging haze that was assaulting her eyes. Lucky for us, there was a heated patio at the rear of the building, so we sat outside at a table for two. I left her sitting alone for a few minutes while I got us something to drink. That really opened up a great conversation.

The little minx couldn't believe that I didn't drink. Then she suggested that I was hiding something.

"Nobody could be _that_ perfect," she accused.

Of course I had flaws; I was human after all. Soooo ...I meticulously pointed them out to her. She still wasn't convinced, saying that some of my vices were actually virtues, at least in her eyes.

I finally hammered home one last flaw—I shamefully admitted that I lusted after her. Bella didn't seem to be ruffled by that confession. Of course this was the second time she heard it mentioned. And that fact still hadn't diminished her love for me, or maybe she was beginning to feel those tingles herself.

Now that we hashed out all my faults, I asked her to dance.

Sighing, I hugged her tightly to my chest, my thighs pressed against hers. The feel of her heart beat next to mine, and the wispy, feather-like puffs of her breath on my neck seemed comfortable, like she belonged there. It brought back memories of the first time I held her in these arms. Her soft hair grazed my cheek as we swayed to a slow number. We didn't say anything for awhile, just letting the music transport us back to another time and place.

_Wise men say_

_Only fools rush in,_

_But I can't help falling in love with you_

_Take my hand,_

_Take my whole life too, _

_For I can't help falling in love with you._

The King got it right. I _couldn't_ help it. I fell hard, and I didn't care who knew it.

The next number, _Do You Love Me?,_ was from Dirty Dancing, and I tried to get my shy girl to dirty dance with me. It was supposed to be an exercise in _sexy_, instead, it struck her funny bone—the girl couldn't stop laughing! She was totally breathless as I escorted her back to our table. I didn't mind though, just as long as she was having a good time.

We danced our way through about a dozen more songs, and drank to the bottom of three cokes. I couldn't remember when I ever had this much fun.

The place was ready to close up shop, and we were clinging to each other for the last slow dance of the evening. I stopped in the middle of the song. Her head tilted up, her eyes asking me why. I zoned in on her parted lips, and squeezed her tight. The remaining patrons seemed to recede into the woodwork; she was the only person I was aware of. I poured my love into that kiss and hoped she felt it. Our private world vanished quickly however, when some drunkard slurred, "Hey, buddy, get a room."

I agreed with him. I wished I could take her home with me, and keep her there forever.

* * *

At 2:00 A.M., we were on Maria's doorstep. Saying goodnight was hard. I didn't want this day to end—ever.

"You want to come in for a minute?" she offered.

Would've loved to, but ... "I better not. It's late, and I bet Michel will be gettin' you up as soon as the sun rises over the pines."

Bella smiled that sweet smile of hers. "You're right. We should both get some rest.

"By the way, thank you. I had a great time tonight. It was really fun."

Getting serious all of a sudden, I blurted, "How'd you like to have fun for the rest of your life?"

"Mmn hmn. Sounds enticing."

"Let's start tomorrow then, huh?"

She moved into my personal space, her face just inches from mine. "Anything you say." Then, lacing her fingers behind my head, she ever so gently, brushed her lips over mine.

Damn, how would I survive the next three months without her when I could barely leave her tonight?

I deepened the kiss, letting my tongue do my talking for me. I worried that maybe that was coming on too fast, but my worrying was needless, as she took to it like a duck to water. When we finally separated, she sputtered, "Hooh boy!"

My head jerked back. "Did you just say—"

Bella instantly clamped a hand over her mouth. "Holy cow, I can't believe I said that!"

We both laughed. "_Holy cow_, I can't believe it either. Okay, Bells, I'm goin'. See you in the morning ... maybe—after one more kiss."

I grabbed her quickly and planted a good one on her. "Night, Bells."

* * *

BPOV:

He held me so close, I could practically feel his heart thumping through his shirt. His muscular thighs were pressed flat against me too, doing funny things to my stomach. My butterflies were rapidly morphing into big, flapping bats. Would I ever get used to this?

I wasn't the greatest with my footwork, but he was such a strong leader, I couldn't go wrong. Jacob was a natural; he had dancing in his blood, but I figured he had the right moves all along. His little display at the Thriftway proved that. It was a dream following his every move.

Then he started a little dirty dancing. I couldn't stop laughing, because every time he would grind against me, I would move away. He had all he could do to hold onto my hips, attempting to keep me in one spot, but I was like a slippery eel, making the expressions on his face comical. He was trying his best to be seductive and sexy, and I was doing everything in my power to thwart that plan.

I wiggled away once more. "What are you trying to do, Jake?"

"If you'd hold still for a minute, you'd find out."

"Hey, I'm a good girl. I don't dance like that."

"Oh, c'monnn, let yourself go for once. It's fun. Besides, look around you. There're plenty of chaperones."

Rolling my eyes, and clicking my tongue, I finally let him maneuver my hips.

The music stopped abruptly, but my laughter didn't. All that work for nothing ... It didn't seem to matter to Jacob though. He took it in stride and laughed with me. My gosh, I was having such a good time, but then it seemed like I always had a good time whenever Lieutenant Black was around.

We danced the night away, and I was pooped. Jacob however never lagged. Where did he get all his energy? So it was a surprise to me when in the middle of the last dance, he stopped for a moment. My head rose from his shoulder.

He had that look in his eye, and in an instant he tightened his hold on me. Pretty soon, my mouth was under his command, the rest of me followed along for the ride, and holy cow, what a ride. But then—sigh—our fantasy world was quickly shaken by reality, as an inebriated guy yelled at us to _get a room_.

* * *

The smile never left my face on the drive home. I sat, snuggled up to Jacob, half asleep. I was probably bordering on delirious by that point. It's a good thing I wasn't driving; I might've had a close encounter with a pine tree. I didn't know how Jacob could keep his eyes open—military training, I guess.

When we reached the apartment, I thanked him for a great evening, all the while noticing he was getting all serious on me. I had mentioned how much fun I had, when he remarked, "How'd you like to have fun for the rest of your life?"

It certainly gave me a lot to think about.

The man looked so irresistible. I brazenly stepped into him, placing my hands around his neck, and lightly touched my lips to his. That's when Jacob took over. He prolonged the kiss goodnight, but this time, he let his tongue got involved. That woke me up, and how! Ordinarily, I would have objected, but my gosh, his tongue was as talented as his feet. I dare say, I would pay him to do that again. After he removed his _instrument of pleasure_, we peeled ourselves apart.

Somehow, I let slip, "Hooh boy!" followed by a scurry of fingers covering my mouth.

"I can't believe I said that."

That tickled Jacob to no end, so to one up me, he replied, "_Holy cow_, I can't believe it either."

That got us both laughing again.

* * *

He waved goodbye, as the Rabbit pulled out of the parking lot; I turned to go inside. I undressed and got in my pajamas.

That night, I dreamed of Jacob and me dirty dancing, but unlike the fiasco at The Paint Pony, I was bumping and grinding like a shameless hussy. And oh my gosh, I was enjoying it too.

* * *

Ugh! Michael got up at 6:15. I was so tired, I trudged around the kitchen in a daze. Breakfast was a disaster. The cereal almost missed the bowl once or twice. I was lucky I could even _see_ the bowl. This day, I could tell, would be one big blur.

The day got a little better, as Jacob came over just as I was throwing some clothes in the wash. We talked while they agitated, then he helped me place them in the dryer, and finally fold them up.

He got a taste of trying to do the laundry with a little one under foot. My toddler was in, or underneath the basket, sometimes with clean clothes in it, sometimes not. I got a kick out of watching my big guy scramble after him, running down the hall with a piece of fabric treasure in his fist, yelling _mine, mine_! My sweetheart was really put through the paces, and he took it good-naturedly.

Feigning exhaustion, Jacob slumped onto the futon. Wrong move, because now Michel would be using him as a landing pad.

Michel walked on the cushion and spring-boarded onto Jacob. I winced as my son plopped with a loud thud onto his lap. I hoped that didn't ruin any of his plans for future children.

Jacob let loose with a hooh boy!—and not a good hooh boy, either. He then took Michel's face in his hands and said, "Mikie, if you want a brother or sister in a year or two, you need to be careful, okay?"

My little tyke looked up at him as if he understood, and proceeded to climb up the human mountain. Soon he was hanging from Jacob's neck, and sucking on a dog tag. Looked like I had some serious competition.

* * *

While Michel napped, Jacob and I had another sobering discussion.

Lying together on the futon, Jacob had his arm circling my shoulders. With his free hand, he lazily stroked my cheekbone, blazing a trail down to my jaw and under my chin. "Have you thought about what you're gonna do when I'm home for good. I mean you know where this relationship is goin', right?"

"Jake ... Are you sure I'm the one?"

"I'm sure. I couldn't love _anyone_ the way I love you."

He gave me that puppy dog look, and sighed for emphasis. "Your turn," he coaxed.

I tapped his nose with my forefinger. "You're putting me on the spot, aren't you? All right ...You know I love you. I think I've loved you since that first day in the Bx. And I _have_ thought about the future. If you want me to, I'll move up here as soon as school is out. I can be here waiting for you, when your tour's over."

Jacob sat up on one elbow. "You would do that?"

"Well, we can't very well go back and forth, from Tempe to La Push all the time. Besides, I've got nothing to keep me back home except for my parents, and I'm sure they'll understand.

"Anyway, I kind of like it here; it's so green—and white."

"C'mere, girl," he growled, as he hauled me to himself. "You've made me very happy—very, very happy."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: A Feather and a Flirt

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

Good thing I slept well that night, 'cuz the next morning while at Maria's, that tiny tornado kept me hoppin' like the energizer bunny. Bella and I were doin' laundry and Michel was doin' us in! He had repurposed the basket, as a boat, a plane, a house, and even a humongous hat.

I lost count of how many times I ran after him when he swiped a piece of clothing, or how many times I had to lift him off the clean clothes, and out of the basket. They should include toddlers in training exercises, to keep us sharp.

I collapsed onto the futon after Bella put all the clothes away. I was being silly; I wasn't really _that_ tired. Michel, however, took that as his opportunity to launch himself onto me—right where my man bits lie, if you get my drift. It was a few seconds before I could talk without a falsetto. Jeez, he really knew how to hurt a guy. I couldn't get mad at him tho'; he didn't know any better. I told him he needed to be more careful. Whether he understood me or not was another matter. He continued to climb all over me, finally settling on placing a dog tag in his mouth.

While the human dynamo slept, I rested full length—well, almost full length—on the futon with my best girl stretched out beside me. Bella didn't seem to have any objections this time, thank god. I stared at her, and absentmindedly, began to touch one finger to her face, round and round from her cheek to her jaw, to her chin and back up again.

As I lay there, I began to think about something that had been gnawing at me, like that creature from _Alien_, and I had to let it out—without the assistance of spaghetti. It was great that Bella was here now, but what about tomorrow? And the next day? And the day after that? Would she be waiting for me here when I got out of the Air Force? That was six months down the road, and a lot could happen in that amount of time. I didn't expect her to say she'd marry me right this second; I just needed to know how we were geographically gonna make this work. What were her plans? Did I need to relocate to Tempe? No doubt about it, I would, if she wanted me to. So while we lay on the cushion facing each other, I eased into the conversation. I asked her, "You know where this relationship is going, right?"

Even after all this time, she still had her doubts about my love for her, but I told her I'd never felt this way about any other girl. Silence. That hurt a little, so I flashed her my puppy dog eyes, and urged her to open up to me. "Your turn," I implored.

I needed to hear those three little words again. Damn, I hated becoming such a sap, but it was like pulling teeth to get her to tell me what she was feeling. It was weird how our roles seemed to be reversed. All the guys I knew were constantly complaining about the girls being so emo twenty-four seven, and here I was, waiting desperately for the words to come out of her mouth.

She'd already told me once or twice that she loved me, so why was it so hard for her to say it one more time. Okay—so I could hear that phrase uttered a hundred times a day, and it would never be enough.

Her finger sat on my nose while she expressed what was in her heart. And when she told me she'd be moving here after the next semester, I nearly bolted off the futon. That's what I wanted to hear. I was so overjoyed that these feelings were flowing rampant outta me; like a river of hot, molten, volcanic—love stuff.

"C'mere, girl," I said. "You've made me very, very happy."

* * *

Feeling sort of guilty for spending all of my leave with my girl, I decided to bring her and Michel to my place for the rest of the day. This way, she could meet Paul and Rachel when they got off work.

Dad and I were seated at the table along with Bella, showing her how to carve a piece of wood. She was practically hypnotized. My dad gave the instructions, I did the hands-on training. I stood behind her chair, my arms enclosing her shoulders and my hands guiding the tool in hers. My ear was pressed against hers, and we moved in unison with each movement. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dad, giving me the okay sign.

I let go of her hands after a few of strokes. "I think you've got the hang of it. Now, you try on your own."

"I'm afraid I might ruin it."

"You're not gonna ruin it, honey," I told her. "Yeah, just like that. Push the chisel following the line. A few more lines and it's done."

She looked at the wooden feather, after finishing it, and admired her workmanship. "Oh my gosh, it's beautiful, but I got a bunch of shavings all over your floor."

"Don't worry about it, Bella." Dad twisted his neck to look over his shoulder at me. "Jacob will clean it up, won't you?"

"Sure, sure." I went to grab the broom and before I could get back to sweep them up, Michel was already on his hands and knees, crawling under the table, and sampling the wooden curls. "Hey, don't eat that squirt!" I yelled from across the room.

Bella scooped him up, and with her fingers, tried to remove the non-food items from his mouth. It was a losing battle since he didn't want to hand 'em over.

Attempting to reason with him, I argued, "C'mon, Mikie, what are you, a termite?"

I made a face, sticking out my tongue. "No, it's yucky. Spit it out, kid."

He spun around, clawing to get free, and bawling his head off. Every time Bella tried to stick in a finger, he'd clamp his mouth shut. Then I got an idea for a trade. I pulled down a box of graham crackers from a cupboard and held one in my hand. Reaching out to him, I said, "You want this? Give your mommy what's in your mouth and you can have it. That's right. Spit it all out."

With his mouth now empty, he took the cracker. I picked him up from Bella's lap, so she could wash her hands, then shrugged at my sweetheart when she sat down again.

My dad teased, "I guess he needed the fiber, eh?"

* * *

All the wood scraps got cleaned up, so I took my guests and the carved feather out to the Taj. Bella watched as I used an awl to poke a hole at the top. "Do you think we should stain it?" I asked.

"No, no—don't. It's perfect the way it is."

I took a box of leather cords down from the shelf, and strung the pendant on one. Next, I walked behind Bella and placed it around her throat, kissing the side of her neck. "It's yours," I whispered.

Patting her shoulder, I teased. "There, now we're officially married."

Her head swung back in a heartbeat. "Whaaat?"

I laughed at her reaction. "Just kiddin'. Damn, woman, I can't believe you haven't caught on yet."

* * *

We heard Rachel pulling into the driveway, and I looked at Bella with a serious expression on my face. "What's that noise?"

"It's your sister's car."

"No, not that. I mean the other noise."

"What noise are you talking about?"

"That banging noise like hammering on wood. Oh ... never mind—it's just your knees knockin' together."

"Ha, ha, very funny."

She _did_ have the last laugh, 'cuz Michel was heading in the other direction with a box of spark plugs. Running after the klepto, I hoisted him on my shoulders, and marched toward the garage door. "C'mon, Bells. Time to meet my sister, Rachel."

I trotted over to her car with my hitchhiker along for the ride.

Rachel was all smiles as she saw me coming toward her. Bella trailed behind me timidly.

"Hey, Rach," I yelled.

"Hey, yourself, little brother."

Rachel shut her car door, and looked up at my loftily seated passenger. "This must be Michel," she exclaimed as she shook his tiny hand.

My girl was at my side a few seconds later. She touched Bella's arm as she said, "And this must be the girl that you're always carrying on about. I've heard a lot about you, Bella."

"Don't believe a word of it. He exaggerates—a lot."

"You don't have to tell me. I've lived with him for twenty-one years. But in your case, I don't think he was lying."

We started toward the house, and Rachel asked, "How long will you be in La Push, then."

Bella opened her mouth to say something, but I answered for her. "Only 'til I go back."

"Oh, that's a shame. Do you think you'll be moving here, or will you be stealing my brother away to Arizona?"

I blatantly interrupted again. "Bells is gonna make this her home after she finishes the next semester."

Rachel shoved me in the shoulder lightly. "Gee whiz, let the poor girl talk. She does have a tongue, you know."

_Hooh boy, do I ever!_ "Sorry, I'm just so excited about her being here, and being my girl, and moving here, and—."

"I get the picture, Jake."

Turning to Bella, my sister asked, "How much longer do you have to get your BS degree? I heard you were in nursing ..."

* * *

Bella and I stayed for dinner. Paul showed up half way through, and began flirting with my girl. I think her face was red for the rest of the meal. To make matters worse, while we sat on the couch watching a movie, he was makin' time with my sister, and makin' _both_ of us uncomfortable.

I finally spoke up. "Guys, do you think you could keep your love scenes PG 'til we leave the premises."

Paul untangled himself, and stopped his moaning for a minute as he looked up at us. "You mean you two haven't ...?"

He saw Bella's expression, and facing me, mumbled, "Oh, c'mon, really? You're serious ... Sorry, I didn't know. She being experienced and all, and you both were all alone in that apartment for hours, so I just thought—"

_Idiot!_ "Yeah, well you thought wrong."

Rachel interrupted. "_Now_ look what you've done. Ignore him, Bella."

Bella tapped me on the arm. "It's okay. Maybe we should go. I need to get Michel to bed anyway."

The little tyke was sound asleep on my bed, so I gathered him up, and walked beside my sweetheart to the door. Paul got up and went with us, apologizing again. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

She smiled sweetly at him, but I knew she was humiliated to the core.

When we got inside the Rabbit, I told Bella, "And that, honey, is Paul. Listen to my sister, and ignore the jerk. I don't know how she puts up with him. I guess I should have talked to Rach earlier, to avoid all this."

"There's got to be one in every family, so don't worry about it."

"That's the problem. He _is_ going to be part of our family; they're gettin' married in a couple of months. Jeez, the nerve of that guy! And there he was flirting with you. I couldn't believe it, right in front of my sister too. I should've busted him one, right then and there."

My sweetheart grinned at me. What was wrong with this picture?

"What are you grinning at?"

"You're jealous."

She got that right. "Damn straight."

"Why would you be jealous of Paul?"

She did _not_ know him like I did. Girls were a challenge to this guy. "He's a professional lech."

Did I see her eyebrow raise an inch? "A handsome lech."

"I'm tellin' you. Stay away from him. He's a Cassanova from way back when, and I can't always be here to protect you from him."

She saluted me. "Yessir."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: A Gift from the Heart

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

There were all kinds of woodworking tools laid out on the table before me. I never was very crafty, so I was paying strict attention to what Billy was telling me—that is until Jacob got behind my chair, and like pulling strings on a puppet, guided my hands. I really had to concentrate on that little sliver of wood, because truthfully, his nearness was disconcerting to say the least.

His head was flush to mine, and every time he said something, I could feel the muscles in his strong jaw contract and straighten. Why did that seem so ... sensual ... and distracting?

Despite my guy's torturous presence, I finished the piece, and was amazed at how beautiful the small trinket turned out. Jacob took us out to his garage, and after poking a hole at the top of the pendant, looped a leather thong through it. He gently hung it around my throat, and leaving a kiss at the side of my neck, told me it was mine to keep. Then with his hand tapping my shoulder, he blurted, "There, now we're officially married."

Oh my gosh. My heart stopped for a split second. Was he kidding? Or was this some sort of Quileute symbolic ceremony?

Jacob's grin beamed in my direction, and he assured me that he _was_ ... only kidding. I was going to have to get used to his joking. And it happened again, only too soon, when he had me listening for my knocking knees.

* * *

My fears were totally unfounded, since his sister Rachel, was as friendly as Jacob. Paul was friendly too—a little too friendly. He winked and smiled every time he caught my eye, and he caught it a lot. He was so darn good looking, it was hard not to. He had a raw animal magnetism—not to say that Jacob wasn't sexy—but Paul seemed to exude sex from every pore.

Before I could react, he stroked my arm, in plain sight of everyone.

"If this guy doesn't meet your needs, you know where to find me, dollface," he practically chuffed.

His blatant flirting made me squirm uncomfortably in my chair.

He was sitting right next to me, and I jumped when his hand suddenly squeezed my thigh. I quickly brushed his hand away. "My name's Bella, not dollface."

"Hey, don't be so modest. You _are_ a doll."

He actually was gutsy enough to turn to Rachel and say, "Isn't she, baby?"

I couldn't believe Rachel let him get away with it, and I didn't know how to respond. But after a few more suggestive comments, she piped up, "Paul, you're making the poor girl blush. Stop it now."

Jacob looked like steam was about to pour out of his ears. He leaned over and pulled my chair closer to his.

"Oh, come onnnn, guys. You know I was only teasing. I wouldn't dream of taking your girl away from you, now would I?"

"You better not," Rachel threatened. "Because after Jacob pounds you into a powder, I'll be sweeping you up into the dustbin, and pitching you out into the yard."

Paul puckered his lips and touted, "That's what I love about you, baby. You don't take my sh**. It's such a turn on."

My hand was clenched tightly in Jacob's, his face not betraying his emotion, but it was a moot point. Plain and simple—Jacob was jealous, and I surprised myself by feeling sinfully pleased about it. I didn't have much experience with guys in general, but it was nice to know that my guy could feel jealous of Paul's attention to me.

* * *

I was in for more squirming while we sat on the couch watching TV. Billy had already gone to bed with Jacob's help, and Paul was making the moves on Rachel with a vengeance. I'd never seen such PDA in my life. They may as well have been alone in the bedroom.

Jacob let loose a comment to put an end to it, when Paul made a crack insinuating that we were doing the same, while in Maria's apartment. I was mortified; and Paul was confused. I guess he'd never had to cool his jets around a girl before. They were probably panting, and tugging on his belt buckle in anticipation, and I could certainly see why.

At that point, I was ready to leave. I'd never been so uncomfortable in my life, and told Jacob that we should go. Right then, Rachel whispered something in Paul's ear.

Getting Michel up from his bed, Jacob and I started toward the door.

Paul sprang up from the couch and followed us, apologizing. I'm sure Rachel literally put the bug in his ear.

When we got in the car, Jacob spouted that Paul was a professional lech. A smile broke out on my face. I was enjoying this display of jealousy.

"Stay away from him," he bellowed.

Did he really think I could transfer my feelings of affection so quickly? I was grinning all the way to Maria's.

* * *

In the next couple of days, Jacob took me to meet Old Quil, Sue, Leah, and Seth Clearwater, the Atearas', Sam and Emily Uley, and their daughter, Stacie, Tiffany Call, and Jared Pellitier. Did I forget to mention anyone?_ Gosh, how am I going to remember all these names? _

Everyone was so welcoming. He even called his sister, Rebecca, in Hawaii, and had me speak to her. He was ready with the camera during all the visits, and took tons of pictures. When Friday evening came around though, I told Jacob, "I can't see you tonight."

Was that a pout on his face? "Why not?"

"I promised Maria, I'd go shopping with her."

He persisted, twirling a lock of my hair around a finger. "I like to shop."

"I _know_! But, this is a girl thing."

"Will you call me when you get back?"

"As soon as I get back, I promise."

"Why don't you leave Michel with me?"

"You want to babysit?"

There was that twinkle in his eye. _Here comes the punch line_. "I figure if I hold him hostage, you have to come home sooner."

"You've got an answer for everything, don't you?"

He nodded in agreement. "Pretty much."

Maria and I took Michel with us—and his stroller, so we wouldn't have to be chasing him every two minutes. We weren't gone very long, since Maria had all her Christmas shopping done beforehand. I picked up a bottle of men's cologne—as if Jacob didn't smell tantalizing enough already—and an album for the bazillion pictures he was taking. I knew he'd appreciate it. As for the cologne, I'd be the grateful beneficiary of that gift. One whiff of Drakkar Noir, and I'd be in heaven.

When we pulled into the parking lot, I spotted the little red Rabbit, coming around the bend.

He drove up and parked beside us.

I laughed, yelling as he climbed out of the car, "Don't tell me you were circling around the apartment building all this time."

With a big sigh, Jacob hung his head. "Yep, I guess you could say that."

This poor boy! I made up my mind to be good to him, and show him more affection. I left Michel in his car seat for a minute. "C'mere, Jake."

I placed my fingers behind his head, ruffling his hair, and pulling his ear to my mouth. Maria lowered her eyes, pretending not to see us, and walked into the apartment.

"You win. You don't ever have to ask again if you've grown on me, because, I swear, you've become rooted in my heart."

I heard the breath whoosh out of him, and he lifted me up above his head, twirling me around. Then, in all seriousness, fit his lips to mine.

We gazed in each other's eyes. "I love you, Jacob Black."

"Love you more, Isabella Swan."

"That's debatable ..."

"Yeah?"

I grinned; my heart suddenly free of James. "Yeah."

Just then, Michel began to wail, gaining our attention. "He's all yours," I teased.

* * *

Maria came with us to the Blacks' for Christmas Eve. Jacob and his family did their celebrating on that day. Most of his friends I had met the previous days were there also, and good thing too. It made it less obvious when I put as much distance between me and that wolf, Paul. Jacob had me seated on his lap—he wasn't taking any chances.

Michel had a ball, playing in empty boxes, and ripping up the used wrapping paper, along with two year old Stacie. They were already chums.

I had to laugh when my son opened his present from Jacob. It was a small set of dog tags. Jacob placed them over Michel's head, and he wouldn't part with them for the rest of the day. I was the proud recipient of a set also, only mine were sterling silver. There was a sigh of disappoint from Sue and Leah when the little velvet box didn't contain something more significant. I was still pleased. One had a white opal in the center of a stylized sunburst. It was personalized with an inscription: _Jake's Girl_. The second read: _Love Transcends Distance. _Below the words was an engraved heart encircling another small opal, seated between angels' wings—or in this case, pilots' wings. Either way, they belonged to an angel.

It was so sweet, I was blinking back tears. I gave him a thank you kiss, which elicited a few loud howls and wolf whistles.

I had to wonder though, how sneaky could he get? And when did he have the time to buy these? My gifts paled in comparison. No one could tell by Jacob's reaction though. But he probably would have liked it if I had wrapped a piece of day-old bread.

He opened the cologne, and breathing it in, smirked at me, saying, "Hooh boy, I better use this stuff sparingly. It might make a wild woman outta you. I'll be sure to have my body armor on."

Leah interjected, "I don't know, Jake. We girls can get pretty inventive, when nature calls. By the way, have you thought about a date yet?"

All excited, Seth stood and asked, "You mean you two are getting married? Why didn't you tell me? I'm always the last to know. How come nobody ever tells me anything?"

Jacob stammered nervously. "There's nothing to tell yet."

"Oh gawd, Jake. You mean to tell me you haven't even popped the question. What the hell are you waiting for?"

"The right timing."

"No time like the present," Leah retorted.

"Jeez, no pressure there, Leah. I'm workin' up to it—is that all right with you?"

Billy motioned for everyone to settle down. "It's Christmas Eve, now. So, let's all sing some carols, eh?"

He swung his arms, leading them in the songs. "_Hark the herald angels sing_ ..."

* * *

"Jeez, Bells, I don't know what to say. It seems like I'm constantly apologizing for someone's thoughtless remarks."

"Don't worry about it. Leah wants you to be happy—they all do. And so do I."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Hot damn, woman. You make me feel like singing. "Silver _Bells_, silver _Bells_ ..."

I held my hands over my ears, laughing. His singing was atrocious. Then Michel joined in with his babbling. I was licked, so I stated singing too. We were all in the Christmas spirit.

* * *

The next day, Maria left to be with her family in Sapho, so Jacob, Michel, and I stayed put and played games. When lunch was cleared away, and Michel was sleeping, Jacob helped me make a batch of peanut butter fudge. He probably ate more than got scraped into the rectangular pan, and playfully put up a struggle when I tried to wrest the spatula away from his tongue. I put the fudge in the refrigerator to let it cool off, lowered the pots and utensils into the sink, and settled against Jacob on the futon.

He started up again about Leah's comments. "Sorry 'bout last night. I guess Leah's getting' a little anxious about me. Like you said, she just wants me to be happy, and she knows you make me happy."

"You've already apologized once. Really, I don't think I was nearly as flustered as you were. You should be flattered that Leah's looking out for you, Jake. Maria too. I wish I was that lucky."

Shifting his weight on the seat, he turned toward me, gently fingering the dog tags dangling from my neck. "Yeah, but the thing is, even if everything was set for me to pop the question, it wouldn't be in front of a bunch of people. It's personal—between you and me. It's no one else's business. I want the moment to be special; private. Just the two of us.

"You _are_ gonna marry me tho', aren't you?"

"Jacob Black, are you proposing _now_?"

"No ... I just want a hint of what your answer's gonna be."

"Absolutely not. That would spoil the whole occasion."

"You mean you're gonna make me sweat it out 'til the day I do?"

"You make it sound like torture. I think you already know what my answer will be."

I pulled his head closer and met up with his mouth. When the kiss ended, he dropped his head back on the futon, and sighed.

"You're killin' me, Bells—you're killin' me."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: The Bad Goodbye

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

The next two days flew by—there was more visiting to Jacob's old haunts, hanging in the Taj, or talking with Billy. I would be leaving the next day, and it showed. A huge weight had descended over me. Would Jacob notice?

I discussed it with Maria the night before my departure. She vehemently disagreed with my decision not to tell Jacob. "It'll be just like before, with no goodbye. Do you want that?

"He loves you, Bella. This will tear him up."

"I can't tell him, I just can't. I have to go home, and if I see him before I leave, I won't be able to. Don't you see that?"

"No ... you're being selfish. That poor guy's been through hell, physically and emotionally. And you'll be adding to that. I guess you're going to do what you're going to do, but I'm telling you, this is going to break him. How can he go back to war, knowing that his girl flaked out on him? Jeez, Bella, have a heart.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so harsh. I'm going to bed. If I don't see you in the morning, just leave the key under the cookie jar on the counter."

Maria gave me a hug. "I'm still glad you came, but think about it, huh? And write this time."

I did think about it, not that it did me any good. I wrote a note to Jacob that night explaining why I had to go so soon, and why I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye to him face to face. I told him how much I loved him, and would see him on his next leave. Putting the note in an envelope, I licked the flap, sealing it, and placed it on top of my luggage. I finished packing my bags. The other items were already stowed in the trunk of my car, so I could take off early the following morning.

When the day dawned, Maria was gone. I fixed breakfast, dressed Michel, and tidied up the apartment. Then I went over to Jacob's, knowing he would still be asleep, and gave the note to Billy. What a coward I was. I returned to Maria's, and gathered up my remaining belongings.

* * *

JPOV:

I felt like a tour guide, trying to fit in all our stops in the allotted time. Maybe Bella didn't need to see every one of my friends and relatives, but I was excited for them to meet _her_. Could you blame me? Her head was probably swimming in sensory overload, but she didn't need to remember all the names, as long as she remembered mine. That would be good enough for me.

There was one very important person, I wanted Bella to meet, and that was my sister, Rebecca., in Lihue, Hawaii. Thank god for telephones.

"Becca! Aloha. Yeah, I'm on leave. I'm great. And you? That's good. How is Kapono? He still surfing? Hooh boy, I'll bet you have to drag him away from the ocean.

"Mele Kalikimaka to you too. Hey, you can talk to everybody here, but I want you to meet my girl. Yeah, astounding, isn't it? Ouch ... ah, c'mon, it isn't _that_ miraculous. Her name's Bella. Here, let me have her talk to you."

Bella gave me a look that could melt lead, but she eased up after awhile as Rebecca talked to her. Rachel got on the horn next, then Dad. It was like a family reunion, almost. I left with Bella while Dad was still speaking to my sister. Michel's patience was growing thin; it was past his bedtime.

* * *

Friday rolled around, and I was blindsided by Bella telling me, "I can't see you tonight."

I realize I was monopolizing all of her time, but jeez, I was nuts about her. I felt dead every time she disappeared from my sight. Maybe I could stay here with Michel. That would ensure that she'd be quicker about returning home from her shopping trip with Maria. That didn't happen; Bella took the little squirt with her.

Two hours went by, and I couldn't stand it another minute. I drove to the apartment building and loitered. I must've made the lap around the circuit twenty times. Finally I came by the edge of the building, when I spotted Bella opening her car door. She was onto my little scheme, so when I parked beside them, I was forced to admit that I had been circling the building for half an hour.

That plan proved to be very successful too, as Bella whispered in my ear that I had sunk my roots deep into her heart. Admitting that, made me explode with happiness, and without thinking, I hoisted her in the air, swinging her in a circle. When I lowered her onto her feet, I kissed her soundly, and once again, without prodding, she confessed, "I love you Jacob Black." I floated into the apartment, with Michel in my arms.

* * *

We, at the Blacks' residence, always celebrated Christmas on the night before. As always, the place was overflowing with friends.

I was anxious to give Bella her present. I had it specially made for her. Jared's dad owned a small jewelry shop, and made my sweetie a custom set of dog tags from sterling silver and white opals, according to my specifications. He made a smaller, less expensive—and simpler—set for my little buddy.

Her reaction on opening the gift was no shocker. I couldn't miss those tears welling in her eyes. She kissed me in appreciation, among hoots and howls from the rowdy bunch, but after smelling the intoxicating aroma of the cologne Bella bought me, Leah had to spoil everything by opening her big mouth.

Poor Seth, not knowing any better, thought that Leah had the scoop on something ... and he didn't. He jumped in, asking when we were getting hitched. It was no big secret that it would happen, but the timing wasn't right yet, no matter what Leah thought.

* * *

Dammit, every time I turned around I was apologizing for something or other. And this time it was Leah's stupid comment. I was worried about how Bella would take it, but was amazed at her response. Christmas day, after rehashing the experience, she actually said, "I don't think I was nearly as flustered as you were."

I went on to explain my feelings about proposing, then coaxed her a bit, just to get an inkling of what she would answer. The little minx held out on me, cruelly leaving anxiety in her wake. She was killing me.

For two days, I took her on the rounds again, seeing new people, pointing out places I used to frequent as a kid, and hanging out in the Taj. She seemed awfully quiet, but I chalked it up to being overwhelmed with all this information. Little did I know ...

I woke up the next morning, and right off the bat, Billy handed me an envelope from Bella. My insides clutched; this could not be good. She had no reason to be leaving me a handwritten note, when she could just call. Ripping it open quickly, I read:

_My dear, sweet Jacob,_

_By the time you read this, I'll be on my way back to Tempe. I didn't have the heart to let you know any sooner. Please don't be mad. I just couldn't look you in the eyes, and tell you goodbye. I loved sharing every precious moment here in La Push, and I look forward to being with you once more when you return on leave from Iraq. _

_I'll think of you every minute of every day, and pray that you'll be kept safe. I love you, Jacob. I hope you know that without question now. _

_With undying love,_

_Your Bells_

Noooo! Like hell ... This was not going to happen. I ran into my room, donned a pair of jeans and a shirt, and threw my supplies into my duffle. With my rucksack on my shoulder, and the duffle in my hand, I bounded past Dad, saying. "I gotta go see about a girl, Dad. Bye!"

"That's my boy," he yelled after me, then waved as I raced down the street toward Maria's.

* * *

I breathed easier as I saw that her car was still in the parking lot. Jumping outta the Rabbit, I hopped onto the hood of her car and sat there waiting with the note in my hand.

A few minutes later, my girl came down the walk with Michel on her hip, and the car keys dangling from her fingers. She stopped abruptly for a split second at the sight of me, then slowly approached the car.

It was hard for me to be angry at her. I hated it, but I had to let her know how hurt I was. "You know, I told you that I don't have much of a temper. But at this moment—I. Am. Really. Pissed."

I waved the paper in front of her. "What the hell is this? You were gonna leave without saying goodbye to me?"

She cast her eyes down to the ground and muttered, "I ... I did."

"You wrote me goodbye, not told me goodbye. There's a difference. I wanted to hear it from your lips, not read it on a piece of damn stationary."

All I could see was the top of her bowed head. "Look at me, Bella."

Her eyes turned upward. "I thought it would be better this way."

"Oh yeah ... so much better."

Bella sighed loudly. "I don't want to leave like this, arguing with you, Jake. But ... I have to go home."

"Well, you're not goin' anywhere without me, 'cuz I'm comin' with you."

"You're what?"

"You heard me. I'm goin' with you to Tempe. I'm all packed and ready to go."

"But ..."

"No buts about it. I've made up my mind. Now open up the trunk so I can throw in my gear."

I pocketed the note, and climbed down from the car's hood. Grabbing Michel from her, I buckled him into the baby seat while Bella unlocked the trunk. With the bags all arranged, Bella timidly asked, "Are you still mad at me?"

"Hell, yeah, I'm still mad at you. Now, c'mere, let's make up."

She walked up to me, her chocolate eyes reaching deeply into my soul.

"Tell me you're sorry."

"I'm sorry, Jake."

"Now kiss me."

"I really am sorry."

"Shh ... You're not listening. I said—kiss me."

Her little hands wound round my neck and she stretched up on her tip toes, and locked her lips with mine. Pulling away, I murmured, "That's more like it. And don't you _ever_ do that to me again."

* * *

In my haste to _see about my girl_, I failed to empty my tank before taking off. Maria's apartment was locked, so since Bella needed to gas up anyway, I used the restroom at the nearest station. I pulled my tooth brush and toothpaste outta my duffle and brushed my choppers while I was at it too. No time for a shave or shower though.

We took turns driving, stopped to stretch our legs now and then, and I got to fill my stomach finally at noon. Bella and I chit chatted about our personal histories, likes and dislikes, and our favorite books and movies. After supper, we looked high and low for a suitable motel, and found one with two queen sized beds and a crib for Michel.

I don't know how Bella could even stand up with all the packing, and driving she was doing. I was a soldier. I was pretty used to little sleep, and picking up and leaving at a moment's notice.

Her little tyke was cranky and tired, so I took it upon myself to get him bathed and squared away. He was asleep just minutes after his tiny head hit the pillow. Bella said she'd showered that morning, so I grabbed that opportunity to clean myself up.

Pulling my shirt off in plain sight, I felt her eyes on me. How I wished I could read her mind, to see what my girl was thinking. I hoped it was something naughty. I finished undressing in the bathroom, and got in the stall. When I came back to the room, Bella was in her pajamas, sitting back into the headboard of the bed. So I scrunched up to her as close as I could, plumped up a pillow behind me and watched an old TV show with her.

With the show over, we called it a night. I would've loved to stay up a little longer and canoodle a bit before retiring, but I realized she was whipped. So I went to my bed and I crawled under the covers, dammit. It was sweet torture, sleeping in the same room with Bella. It seemed like I tossed and turned for hours. I heard every little squeak when she shifted in the bed, and the rustling of the blankets against the mattress in Michel's crib. Hooh boy, it was gonna be a long night.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: On the Road Again

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

Michel woke me the next morning, quietly jabbering away. I got him out of the crib, changed his diaper, and got him dressed. Then I carried him over to the bed where Bella was still sleeping. "Let's wake up mommy," I whispered.

I lay him next to my sleeping beauty, and let him do my dirty work. While he crawled all over her, she groaned, "Ugh! Is it morning already."

What I wouldn't give to trade places with that kid. I wanted to groan too.

"Hi, beautiful," I chirped to her. "Yep, the sun is up in the blue sky—okay, so maybe it's grey.

Rise and shine, honey."

"Geesh, are you always this cheerful first thing in the morning?"

A grin took up half of my face. "Pretty much, but especially when I'm with you."

We all got ready to split after breakfast, and the day was a deju vu of the previous. Slushy roads, chit chat, and food. Michel was already asleep by the time we drove up to the door of our motel that evening.

* * *

Something was off when I got out of the shower; Bella acted a little strange—or distant I guess would be a more accurate word.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Nothing, I'm just tired, that's all."

"I'm pretty beat myself, so how 'bout a goodnight kiss."

She looked so cute in her flannel pj's, and fuzzy bunny slippers. Sexy? Probably not, but I still wanted to eat 'er up.

She came toward me in slow motion, then kissed me very nonchalantly.

I grabbed her shoulder as she turned toward her bed. "You call that a kiss? C'mon, Bells, something's not right here, now what is it?"

Her eyes were moving away from mine. "I told you, it's nothing."

"It's _not_ nothing, so just spit it out."

"I'm probably overreacting again."

"About what?" Jeez, I could get a clam shell to open up more easily than this woman.

She was wringing her hands? "I accidentally tripped over your rucksack."

What was so horrible about that? "Big deal, there's nothing breakable in it. No harm done. Bells ... can you look at me, please? I like to see your pretty face when you talk to me."

Her eyes darted back to mine. "Something fell out."

I laughed. "What was it, an axe?"

She was not amused. Hooh boy, there was a dead seriousness housed in those chocolate circles of hers. What the hell did I have in there that she could possibly overreact to?

Bella walked to the bag lying on the floor, and inserting her hand inside, produced a little box. The proverbial light switch immediately flipped on.

I took the box from her hand and threw it back into the rucksack. "C'mere, sweetheart. Let's talk about this."

Motioning for her to sit on the edge of the bed, I joined her there, holding her hand. "I know what you're thinkin', but you'd be wrong. Those are government issue given to _all_ the guys. I wasn't planning on using them—unless you wanted me to."

"Well, I just thought, we're here all alone together, and what's to stop you from—"

"You—that's what's stopping me. Look ... I would never force myself on you; I love you too much. Why can't you understand that? I'm not James, Bella.

"But think about it for a minute, if things suddenly got out of hand, wouldn't you want me to be prepared? You wouldn't want me to get you pregnant, would you?"

"No, you're right. God, Jake, I'm sorry."

"Can I have a real goodnight kiss this time Don't make it too real tho', or we'll _have_ to open up that box."

* * *

The last leg of our trip. Bella would be home in another couple of hours. How would her parents react to seeing their only child with a six foot five, lonesome soldier by her side?

It seemed weird, as we closed in on Phoenix. I actually had to take my coat off. Shirt sleeves? It would be January in only two more days! I could get used to that, but triple digits in the summer—not so much.

We arrived at the Swan residence at 3:00 P.M.; her dad answered the door. If he was surprised to see a tall combat veteran holding his grandson in his arms, he didn't show it. His smile and handshake welcomed me to Tempe. "Hey, come on in. You must be Jacob." Looking over his shoulder, he yelled, "Renee, come and meet your daughter's new beau."

* * *

BPOV:

I checked the room one last time, and left a thank you card on the table for Maria. Lifting the ceramic cookie jar, I slid the key underneath, and replaced the jar on the counter top. I'd have some fond memories of this place. I'm glad Jacob thought to memorialize it in photos.

Taking a deep breath, I slung my purse over my shoulder, grabbed my keys and positioned Michel on my hip. I marched out the door without looking back, but my heart suddenly seized when out in the parking lot, bigger than life, sat a tall cute Quileute soldier on the hood of my car. The note I had written was clutched in his hand. Oh my gosh, I hadn't planned on him waking up so early. Good lord—he didn't look too happy either. I was in for it. What was I going to say to him?

With the note staring me in the face, he asked, "What the hell is this? You were gonna leave without sayin' goodbye to me?"

Stammering, I tried to explain to him why I couldn't say goodbye in person, but it was a feeble excuse as far as Jacob was concerned. He was majorly pissed. I didn't want my departure to end on a sour note. I hated arguing, but surprisingly, he ended it by saying, "You're not goin' anywhere without me, 'cuz I'm comin' with you."

I could barely believe it. He had his gear all packed, and he was ready to travel. I could still feel the tension in the air though, even after all the bags were in the trunk. He was still angry, and told me so, but we made up quickly, and were on the road heading out of town.

* * *

What a day! Even with Jacob helping with all the driving, I was exhausted. My sweetheart sensed it, and took over the care of my son.

While Michel slept, Jacob started on his shower. I caught a glimpse of him as he yanked off his shirt, and holy cow—the rippling of his back muscles nearly made me fall to my knees in worship. He was so toned; he could be a tuning fork. I was aching to run my hands over his smooth shoulders and biceps. It was really pathetic; I had never seen a man built like him before—at least not up close and personal. What a hunk! I was practically burning a hole in him with my stare, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. He absolutely reeked of masculinity. Testosterone on two legs.

This was a first for me. Being physically attracted to someone seemed like foreign territory. I was in love with him too, which made it all the more exhilarating. _Please don't turn around and catch me ogling you._

Thank goodness he moved his gorgeous bod into the bathroom, so I could compose myself. By the time Mr. Hottie came back to the room, I had calmed down some—meaning my heart rate had slowed. Geesh, I'm sure I was still flushed from my hairline clear to my toes.

Jacob was dressed for bed in a simple T shirt and fatigue bottoms ... and he still looked like a million bucks! He scooted next to me, leaning back against the headboard, which he lined with his pillows. With his arm around my shoulders, we watched a little TV, then he kissed me goodnight. I hated to admit it, but I was going to have a hard time sleeping with him in the other bed.

* * *

Morning came way too early, but apparently not early enough for Michel because he was crawling all over me to get me to wake up. Ugh! Then to top it off, Jacob had to be in an irritably cheerful mood. Most mornings I was usually in a good mood too, but not when I lay awake all night. And of course it was all Jacob's fault for showing off his guns last night. How did he expect me to get any sleep with that disconcerting sight lingering in my brain?

I used to always wonder what the other girls were talking about when they said that such and such a guy turned them on. Well, now I was turned on. My problem was how in the world was I supposed to turn it off? And did I even want to? Gosh, I was still undecided. Would it be so bad if he made love to me? I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Darn it, he had me so confused.

* * *

That night when Jacob went into the bathroom to shower, I shamefully began thinking about him, naked and covered in soap bubbles. I was pacing about the room when I accidentally knocked over his rucksack. He had opened it earlier to get out his deodorant, and so when it hit the floor some items spilled out. As I returned them to the bag, I couldn't help noticing a small box—a box containing condoms. It shouldn't have disturbed me so much. But I got to thinking that maybe he had anticipated getting lucky on our little trip, not that I hadn't entertained the idea myself—especially since last night.

Then why was I so upset? The thought hit me. All along, he hadn't been hiding the fact that he wanted me physically, and maybe I _did_ want him to make love to me too, but it needed to be _my_ idea. It was stupid and childish, nevertheless, that was the way I felt. I had to be the one in control, or it would be James all over again so to speak.

I kept telling myself that he wasn't James. Jacob wasn't like that. Why did he have those in his bag though? I was going to drive myself crazy over this.

Jacob finished showering and returned to the room, looking all distracting again. I was almost angry when my eyes fell on him. He had some nerve looking so stinkin' sexy and making me feel all tingly inside. I didn't want to feel all tingly, I just wanted to feel betrayed.

I tried not to show it. Jacob and his sixth sense however, wormed it out of me after my lackluster kiss goodnight. He grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around to face him.

"Something's not right here, now what is it?"

How could I look him in the eye, and accuse him of double dealing? I wanted to totally close mine tight so I wouldn't have to gaze into his baby browns. That plan failed. He practically commanded me to look at him when I spoke.

Recounting that something fell out of his rucksack, I noted that he still appeared clueless.

When I _showed_ him what I found in his belongings, the light of understanding finally flickered in his eyes. Ah-ha!

Jacob immediately took the small container from me and threw it back inside the bag. He sat beside me on the bed and explained that the army gave these out to _all_ the men, but that didn't mean he would use them, unless he had my consent. The next thing he added made a lot of sense. If anything _should_ happen in the heat of the moment, he had to be prepared to protect me.

Gosh, I felt like a total imbecile. Of course he was right. I should be grateful that he was being proactive instead of thinking the worst of him. When would I ever learn?

* * *

The sign read: Phoenix 35 miles, and it was time for Jacob to remove his coat.

"Wow, who would've thought you could wear shirt sleeves in December?"

He looked out the window at the passing countryside—light brown dirt, scrub brush and cactus, and light brown dirt, scrub brush and cactus, and light brown dirt and ...

"And to think, you'll be giving all this up for me."

I rolled my eyes. "It'll be hard, but I'll manage somehow."

Inside the city limits, Jacob's eyes popped. "Is that a palm tree?"

"Yeah, silly. Haven't you ever seen photos in _Sunset Magazine_?"

"I lived on the rez, honey. I was lucky to get a copy of popular mechanics."

I shook my head, chuckling as Jacob, pointing, exclaimed, "Hey, look, there's another one."

* * *

Michel was bouncing with joy in his baby seat when we pulled into the driveway, his little hands reaching for my soldier boy to lift him out. We walked as a threesome toward the front of my home.

I hoped Jacob wasn't expecting anything spectacular. My humble abode was by no means a mansion. It was very modest, only a little better than what he grew up in. The house was ranch style, made entirely of brick, with three small bedrooms, living room and kitchen. It was painted a pale pink—yes, pink. It might have been terra cotta at one time, but Dad was always too busy to repaint it. The ghastly color had remained ever since we bought the house.

My dad came to the door to let us in; excited to see me and to meet my Jacob. Mom walked in when Dad called her. Her eyes grew big as saucers as she took in the tall redwood standing in her living room. Her mouth fell open also—wide enough to let in Uncle Omni's bull, Diablo.

"My word, they grow them big in Washington," she gasped.

Jacob grinned, and offered her his hand. "Glad to meet you, Ma'am. I'm Lieutenant Jacob Black."

"I'll say you are."

Oh. My. Gosh. Was she flirting with him? My mother held his hand longer than what I deemed was appropriate. Jacob cooperated, seemingly unconcerned. He turned his head toward me slightly, wearing a wry smile on his lips.

_Welcome to Tempe, Jake. Now get your hands off him, Mom!_


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Never Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

My own mother! She was blatantly flirting with my guy, huh ... I was worried that she might cause a scene and make us all uncomfortable. Now we were still uncomfortable, but in a different way. I couldn't decide which was worse. And, oh gosh, what must Jacob be thinking? Embarrassed? Holy cow—that was an understatement.

Jacob had given Michel to my dad as soon as he stepped over the threshold, since he was anxious to be with grandpa. I took Michel from Dad and handed him to Mom, so she'd let go of Jacob's hand. I gave her a warning look too. _Hands off, Mom. He's mine._

Mom shifted Michel in her arms. "Oh, Bella, I'm not trying to steal him from you. I'm just welcoming him to our home. You're not upset, are you, lieutenant?"

"No, Ma'am."

"What's with this: _yes, Ma'am_, _no Ma'am_, business? My name is Renee."

"Yes, Ma'am ... I mean, Renee."

Shifting her gaze to me, she spouted, "See, you're always making mountains out of mole hills. Now you two sit down. I'll start an early supper. You must be hungry."

Dad was standing behind the couch, watching the proceedings with amusement. Mom yelled to him, "Charlie, why don't you take the baby for a while, so Jacob and Bella can talk?"

"Sure thing."

Mom lowered Michel to the floor, and he went running to his grandpa, who scooped him up, and took him to his room to play.

When I was sure my mother was out of earshot, I groaned, "Oh, Jake, I'm so sorry. I never saw her act that way before."

"Hey, no problem. She's a force of nature all right, but how is it that you're so reserved?"

"Can't you tell ...? I take after my father."

* * *

Luckily, Mom behaved herself during dinner. She shooed Jacob and me away from the messy kitchen, saying, "I'll take care of this. Bella, didn't you tell me that Jacob needed a place to stay tonight and tomorrow?" She turned to Jacob, smiling. "I'd let you stay here, but there's no bed for you to sleep in. And I won't have you sleeping on the floor. Maybe Bella could help you find a motel; Michel can stay here with us. We don't mind, do we, Charlie?"

"Not at all. Jacob, if you're short on cash to pay for the room, I'd be glad to give it to you. It's the least I can do for someone who's fighting oversees."

"Thank you, sir, but I've got it covered."

Dad winked at me. "Stay out as long as you want. And, Bells—you be good to this boy. I like him; he's a keeper."

"Thanks, Dad."

* * *

I took Jacob to the Fiesta Inn on Broadway. One of the receptionists there was a friend of mine from nursing school, so she gave him a smoking deal. We carried his bags on the elevator up to the fourth floor. The room was nice, although nothing special, with one king sized bed, a couch and two overstuffed chairs.

Jacob sighed. "I have to do something first, honey. I hope you don't mind."

I overheard him calling the airport, and arranging for an Air force shuttle to pick him up at 1:00 A.M. on January 1st. My stomach started to feel queasy, and I nearly cried, but I couldn't ruin our last hours together, wasting them by bawling my head off. That wouldn't do him any good either. I sucked it up, and put on a brave face.

He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and put it in my hand. "This had a letter to my dad in it. It's got my return address on it, so you can write to me. Don't be surprised if you don't get a letter back immediately. I'll have a case of jet lag for a couple of days; otherwise, the army's pretty good about gettin' the mail in and out."

I had such a lump lodged in my throat, I couldn't speak. I didn't want Jacob to know, so I nodded, without saying a word. I realized this time was coming; it didn't make it any easier.

"Here, let me help you with your sweater." He eased my arms out of the sleeves, never once taking his eyes off mine. "Why don't you take your shoes off too, and make yourself comfortable. We can sit over there on the couch."

Jacob removed his fatigue top, leaving his T shirt on. Then he untied his combat boots, and tugging them off, set them by the side of the bed. I curled up next to him on the couch.

We were both overcome with unspoken emotion. At last, Jacob broke the silence. "I'm glad I came with you, Bells. Being together these last three days has meant a lot to me. We've had an intensive time to get to know each other. Most couples see each other, one night a week. Our time together has been jam packed with hours and hours. In a way tho', it'll be harder to say goodbye."

I looked up at him. "Let's not say it then. How about if we just say, _See you soon_."

"Sure, sure. Three months isn't that long. We'll be together again before you know it."

"But that's three months ... three long months."

"Bells ...?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I brought it up, but can we please not talk about my leaving anymore? It's not 'til tomorrow night. I'm here now. Let's just enjoy what time we have left, okay? Just hold me 'til you have to go home."

We held each other for a long while, not speaking a word, and I fell asleep. Several hours later, I found myself lying on the bed with Jacob wrapped around me protectively. My lashes fluttered, and when my lids opened a crack, there were two warm, dark eyes staring intently back at me.

Jerking, slightly, I murmured, Oh gosh; I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay," he whispered. "You were tired. Were you comfortable enough?"

"Very, but I better go."

"I'll go with you to your car."

I placed my palm on his chest. "No, you've got to get some rest. I'll be fine."

"See you tomorrow?"

I slipped on my shoes and sweater. "See you tomorrow."

Jacob saw me to the door. We hugged each other tightly, then kissed good night. He watched as I walked down the hallway, disappearing into the elevator. A security guard met me in the lobby. My sweetheart had called the desk; he didn't want me to walk to my car without an escort. Where could I find another man so caring and concerned about my safety?

* * *

JPOV:

Meeting Bella's mom, Renee, was a trip and a half. I don't know what I was expecting, but she wasn't it. Renee was as forward as Bella was shy. When I offered her my hand, I thought she'd never give it back to me again. I smiled out of politeness, and looked at Bella, who had _mortified_ written all over her face.

Bella transferred Michel from Charlie to Renee. I'm sure it was her way of diplomatically getting my hand out of her mom's clutches. I guess it worked, 'cuz in the next few minutes, Renee was buzzin' around the kitchen, and Bella and I were on the couch talking.

Dinner went great. The food was good, and the conversation better. Her dad was easy goin', and we shot the breeze about sports, guns, and the conflict in Iraq.

Charlie slid back in his chair. "Wow, I'm impressed. You can fly a jet _and_ a helicopter."

"You make it sound so romantic," Renee piped in.

"Nothing romantic about people shooting at you."

Bella put her fork down. She looked like she was gonna be sick. "Can we please change the subject? I don't want to think about Jake stopping a bullet."

I squeezed her hand under the table. "Won't be the first time, honey."

Renee dabbed her mouth with a napkin. "Well, I pray it's the last."

"Amen to that," Charlie added.

I went into my schtick about life and times on the La Push rez, keeping everyone in stitches. Bella loosened up a bit, on hearing more of my shenanigans with my best buds.

After eating, Renee suggested that we go looking for a hotel for me to stay at. She even volunteered to watch Michel while we were gone. And Charlie—well, he insinuated that we could stay out all night, entrusting the care of his only daughter to my expert hands. That was A-OK with this soldier.

* * *

We wound up at a hotel called the Fiesta Inn. Bella knew someone who worked there, so I got a military, plus a student discount. I admitted I wasn't a student, but Bella's friend insisted, and who was I to argue with her?

With the room all situated with my bags and such, I made a quick phone call to Sky Harbor so the Air force shuttle would know where to pick me up.

There was tension in the air—you know, when a separation is imminent—so I suggested that Bella get comfortable. I helped to remove her sweater, and told her to take off her shoes. I did the same, and we cuddled together on the couch.

I let Bella know how much it meant to me that we spent the last three days of my leave with each other. Then, we avoided the whole going away situation altogether, grasping onto each precious moment left to us. While we were wound around each other in silence, Bella fell asleep. Gently, I lifted her from the couch and placed her on the bed, being careful not to jostle her. I lay down beside her, enveloping her form in a protective embrace. Keeping my eyes on her the whole time she slept, I adamantly refused to let sleep overtake me. I needed to memorize every line and curve of her beautiful face. Maybe it would sustain me for the next stint in Iraq.

God, I didn't wanna go back. I just wanted to stay here with her, by her side for always. I already felt like I was fallin' apart at the seams, but I had to remain strong for her.

When her eyes flickered open, an ache began to fill my heart, knowing that she'd be gone in the next few minutes. When I offered to walk her to her car, she declined. I watched as she got into the elevator, then called the desk to have a security guard go with her.

It was depressing getting into that big, king sized bed all alone. I shut my eyes, but my attempts at slumber were futile at best. Was Bella faring any better?

Since _trying_ to sleep was utterly useless, I got up at 4:00 A.M. and wrote my girl a long letter on the hotel stationary. After working out for an hour or so, I shaved and showered, then, I messed with the stuff in my bags, rearranging all the items to pass the time.

I went downstairs, got a stamp from one of the machines, and left my letter with the clerk at the reception desk.

When I returned to my room, I turned on the TV. CNN was playing all the news from abroad. Maybe by some miracle, the unrest over there would be over, and I could stay home. Yeah, right ... like that would ever happen.

I walked outside the perimeter of the hotel, looking in the shop windows, and checking out _Milagros_, the Mexican Restaurant attached to the Inn. The hotel café finally opened at 7:00. I ate a big breakfast, and decided to call my girl. All at once, I realized I didn't know her number. What an idiot I was. I remembered her address tho' so I called the operator to get the number. Bella picked up on the first ring.

"Hi, beautiful. You sleep okay? Me neither. When can I see you? No ... please ... I can't wait that long.

"Why don't you wash your hair over here? I don't care what it looks like, honey. You'll still be beautiful to me. I'll even wash it for you. Yeah, there's shampoo and a dryer and everything. Okay, ten minutes, max. I'm timin' you."

* * *

Bella showed up at my door in twelve minutes. I was so glad to see her, unwashed hair and all, that I didn't mention her tardiness. Instead, I hauled her off her feet, and kissed her sweet little face off.

Like I promised, I washed her hair just for the hell of it—took a photo of her with the pile of suds on top of her head too. It was a fun experiment, but the hairdressers of America would have no fears about me taking over their jobs. I sat on the toilet and remained a spectator while she used the hair dryer—no sense tempting fate.

We ate lunch at _Milagros_. Bella ordered for us, 'cuz, truthfully, I didn't know a taco from a enchilada. Whatever she ordered set well with me. We drank virgin Pina Coladas, and topped off the lunch with flan for dessert. It was a wonderful meal, and I enjoyed eating it with my sweetheart, but it seemed weird not having Michel dropping food on the floor. I kinda missed him. I wished Bella had brought him along, so I could see him before I left.

That day was bittersweet. It was New Years Eve, a time to celebrate and yet we were mourning our impending separation. If I lived to the end of my tour, this holiday would always bring back painful memories.

There was a party going on in one of the ballrooms. I asked Bella if she'd like to attend, but she refused, saying she wanted to be alone with me.

And so the clock ticked away the remaining minutes, and Bella and I couldn't relax. It was midnight and we heard rockets going off, and the band playing downstairs. I had an hour 'til the shuttle was scheduled to arrive.

"Happy New Year, Bells," I whispered in her ear, as I crushed her to my chest. My declaration was wooden, but Bella's response wasn't. It was an avalanche of emotion.

Her mouth crashed against me, her hands pulling me closer. Panting, she cried, "I can't stand it. I'm not letting you go—not like this."

She began unbuttoning her blouse. "I don't want to hold my love back from you, anymore. Please ... I want you to make love to me."

"Bells ... Don't ..." I groaned. "Please don't make this any harder for me, than it already is."

The fabric of my shirt was being pulled up over my abs. "Shh ... please ... please."

I grasped her hands firmly. "I'm sorry, honey. We can't."

Her eyes searched mine for answers. "But I ... I ... don't understand. Don't you want to?"

"I do ... you know I do. But I have to leave in an hour. If we make love tonight, I won't be able to go, and I have to. I have to be focused on the job, on protecting the other soldiers. I can't be thinking about us together in that way, and that's all I'll be thinking about, don't you see that? If I lose my focus, I could get hurt, and neither of us want that to happen."

Bella collapsed on the bed, holding back the tears. I re-buttoned her blouse, and putting my arm around her, kissed the side of her head. "Don't cry, honey. I'll be back—I will. And we'll have all the time in the world to love each other."

She looked down at her hands clenched in her lap. "If anything should happen to you ..."

"I've got more to live for. You and Michel are my whole world now. I'll be extra careful.

"I want you to make me a promise that you won't worry about me, you hear me? And that when you're at school, you'll concentrate on your studies. And you take good care of Mikie too. I love that little guy."

She turned, and sniffling, reached her hands toward me, running her fingertips over every inch of my face. Her eyes followed their trail. "I love your warm brown eyes, your soft sweet lips, your ears, your nose, your dark hair, that dimple in your chin. I love the way you move, the way you talk, even your corny jokes. I love everything about you. My god, I love you, Jacob Black."

"And I love you, Isabella Swan."

"Stay alive for me, Jake. You've got to come home. I don't want to live without you."

"I never go back on a promise. Now, I need you to do something for me. I want you to go five minutes before the shuttle arrives. No tears—you need to smile for me. And just tell me, _See ya soon, _just like we planned, okay?"

A half-smile formed on her lips. "Okay, soldier."

"One more thing." I took off my Air Force insignia ring. "I want you to wear this. Do you have your dog tags on?"

"Yes."

"Can I see them?"

Bella felt for the chain, and held it out, drawing it up from her blouse. I unclasped the smaller one and fastened my ring to it. I ran my thumb over the tag, and lifted my head, peering into her anxious eyes. "There, I guess that's all."

I handed it back to Bella, who tucked it under her blouse again, so that it rested next to her heart.

We clung to each other, until 12:55. We kissed one last time, and I drew her hands away from my neck, kissing each knuckle. "Now remember what I told you—no tears. Go down that elevator to the parking lot and don't turn around."

I had to look away as she walked through the open door, pretending that none of this was real. As I shut the door behind her, I nearly slumped to the floor.

Pulling myself together, I picked up my duffle and rucksack. The shuttle was outside the main entrance, with the motor idling. I climbed inside, and as we started toward the highway, I saw her—still standing there beside her car.

I was leaving my heart behind me in the care of a little brunette from Tempe, Arizona. I prayed that I could keep my promise, and come back to her.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Letting Go

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

BPOV:

Dragging myself home, I couldn't help thinking that maybe I should've stayed. It didn't seem fair that he'd be spending the night alone in that huge bed. He was probably dreading going back to war, and some comfort tonight would've been such a small but significant gesture on my part. Then again, I did notice those big brown eyes of his weren't shut when mine opened. He needed to sleep and my being so close to him kept my Jacob from doing just that. My guess is he was keeping himself awake the whole time I was sawing logs.

I missed having his warm arms hugging me as I slept. Would I ever be able to drift off again this night? At 6:00 the answer came promptly—not a chance.

Michel padded into my room, climbing on the bed, and nestled his head next to mine. I groaned, "I know—time to get up."

Dad was puttering around in his room, getting ready for work, so I quickly dressed Michel and myself and fixed breakfast for us.

He no sooner sat at the table than he asked, "How'd it go last night, sweetheart?"

"Good."

"Just good? I'd say better than good. That soldier is head over heels for you, so don't let your last disastrous relationship stand in the way of your happiness. I saw the way he looked at you, and the way his eyes followed you everywhere you went. And I'm glad. He's a great guy, and if you take my advice, you'll keep him."

"I intend to."

"That's what I wanted to hear. He gets my seal of approval, your mom's too. Her only objection is your moving to La Push. She still has a soft spot for James, and thinks he should be able to see his son, here in Arizona."

"Why would that matter? He hasn't bothered to see him yet, so what difference would it make if we moved out of state. He doesn't care about me or Michel, Dad."

"I know that, sweetheart. I never was Team James, but his mother was a friend of Renee at one time, and I guess she feels obligated."

Dad started shoveling down his eggs. He swallowed a big bite, took a swig of his OJ, and said, "So, do you and Jacob have plans for this evening. New Year's Eve, you know."

"I don't really feel like celebrating. I just need to be alone with him. He leaves early tomorrow morning. All I want to do is lie down and bawl."

"That's understandable, but listen to your dad, now. Don't be crying in front of Jacob. You need to be strong, and let him go. It's hard enough for him to leave without watching you fall apart in front of his eyes. Hold off on your crying until after he's gone."

"I'll try, but it's so hard. I don't want him to go back there, Dad."

"He's a man, and he has responsibilities to his brothers in arms. I respect him for that. You should too."

"I do respect him, and I know it's his duty to go, but I don't have to _like_ it."

I huffed loudly, and pushing my chair back, got up from the table, taking Michel out of his high chair. I walked over to the sink, to wash his face and hands. He had some food stuck to one of his dog tags, and I nearly _lost_ it, while I scrubbed the gunk away.

Dad came up behind me and kissed my cheek. "Well, off to work I go. See you next year, kitten."

* * *

A yawn reached my ears before the sight of my mother entering the kitchen. "Smells good in here."

"Hi, Mom. Sit down; there's plenty left. I already ate, so I'm going to go take a shower, can you watch Michel for a few minutes."

Making a face, she said, "What's a grandmother for?"

She motioned to my son. "Come give grandma a hug."

* * *

The kitchen was all cleaned up, and the dishes and utensils put away. I played with Michel for awhile, then he _helped_ me unpack our things and place them back where they belonged. It took longer than I anticipated due to my son's expert assistance. There were only a handful of items left in my bags, when the phone rang. I hurried to answer it, thinking it might be Jacob—it was.

What a joy to hear him say, "Hi, beautiful."

Jacob went on to ask how I slept. Apparently, he had a lousy night after I left. I let him know, it was the same here. It was obvious in the tone of his voice that he was anxious to be with me again, but I hadn't washed my hair yet. He didn't seem to give a hoot about that, telling me to come to the hotel and wash it there. I couldn't believe he even volunteered to shampoo it for me. Wait'll I tell Angela and Maria that little tidbit.

I was persuaded to bring my hairbrush and curling iron and scoot on over to the Fiesta Inn. Jacob was in a hurry, and gave me ten minutes to get there. I put my hair products and equipment in a plastic bag, and grabbed my purse, but when I reached out to pick up Michel, Mom stopped me.

"Leave Michel, here, Bella. You and Jacob need this time to say your goodbyes. Michel will just be in the way. He'll be fine with me, now scram. Your soldier's waiting for you."

* * *

Pushing the pedal to the metal, I made it to his door in a little more than ten minutes. He greeted me with a body lift and a deluge of kisses. I could barely breathe.

He set to work immediately. True to his word, Jacob let his nimble fingers lather up my hair, and when the suds were at their frothiest, he wiped off his hands and took a picture.

With all the shampoo rinsed away, he grabbed a towel, then he rubbed it over my head, and ginning broadly, kissed me. He repeated that maneuver several times. _Gosh, I'll always remember that smile from now on, any time I wash my hair._

My sweetheart waited patiently, sitting on the commode, while I dried my wet tresses, chatting the whole time. Every once in a while, Jacob would stand with his chin resting on the crook of my neck, winking at me in the mirror. I blushed every darn time.

The curling iron finished the job, and my big strong soldier boy actually took my hairbrush and lovingly ran it through my hair.

"I always wanted to do that," he remarked. "You have such beautiful hair. Don't ever cut it."

How I would miss him, and his sweet, wonderful ways!

* * *

Jacob was out of his element at _Milagros_. He couldn't pronounce any of the choices, let alone figure out what they were, so I ordered for him.

When the drinks arrived, Jacob snickered, commenting, "I hope there're no GI's in here to see me sippin' on this _girly_ drink."

"What do you mean by girly drink? There's no such thing. A drink is a drink, Mister Macho."

"I beg to differ, Miss Know-It-All."

"Look at all this fancy whipped cream, and this maraschino cherry on top. There's even a bendy straw in it. I rest my case. This is definitely a girly drink."

"Okay, smarty pants, name one _manly_ drink."

"A Harvey Wallbanger."

I rolled my eyes. "Lucky guess. Name another."

"A Screwdriver. A Tom Collins. A Salty Dog. A Martini."

"How do you know all this; I thought you didn't drink."

"I don't, but the boys in the 101st Airborne do, and I'm their designated driver."

"Well, then how come you didn't know what a Pina Colada was?"

"'Cuz, honey, none of my buddies would be caught dead, ordering a girly drink like that"

"All right, all right, you win. Hand me your Pina Colada, and that spoon. I'll make a macho drink out of it."

I proceeded to remove the pineapple wedge from the rim of the glass, pulled out the straw, and placed the cherry on my saucer. I scooped up a spoonful of the whipped cream and began feeding it to my sweetheart. He downed every last bite, and with his tongue, slowly and sensuously, licked an errant dollop from his upper lip. Oh god, what that silly little gesture did to my insides. The man had a talent. Ugh!

I pushed his now _less_ girly drink across to him. It was my turn to show Jacob one of _my_ many talents.

"Watch this."

I picked up a cherry, separating it from the stem with my teeth. After chewing and swallowing the tiny red fruit, I placed the stem in my mouth and with my tongue, tied it into a perfect knot.

After an eye blink, and a head jerk, my companion clapped his hands at my celebrated skill. _That'll teach him. My tongue can do tricks too, ha! _

We finished our meal, and walked around the hotel, hand in hand. Jacob was astounded at all the Palm trees that dotted the area, and the flowers that were blooming on the grounds in the middle of winter—pansies, snapdragons, dusty miller, and multicolored petunias.

* * *

The day was racing past us much too rapidly. I tried my best to act casual, but I couldn't. I was wound so tight, and Jacob was just as tense. There was a party going on downstairs in one of the ballrooms. Jacob invited me to go, but I didn't want to share a single moment alone with him.

At midnight, the noise of the revelers raised a few decibels, and there were fireworks going off at Sun Devil Stadium. Everyone else seemed so happy, but I wanted to cry. I wanted to yell at them, angry that their sweethearts were staying by their sides and not running off to be target practice for Iraqi insurgents.

As the fireworks exploded in ear deafening bursts, I exploded too. All of these emotions flooded through me, straining to escape. I couldn't let him leave without knowing how much I loved him. All at once, I was ready to prove it. I would love him body and soul, right here and now.

Without a minute to lose, I hurriedly unfastened the top buttons of my blouse, then tried unsuccessfully to yank Jacob's shirt off. His hands were on mine immediately, halting my progress. What did I do wrong? Why did he stop me?

"Don't you want to?" I asked. That was such a stupid question, because I knew he did.

His face contorted in pain as he sighed. "I do ... you know I do."

He assured that there was nothing he wanted more than to make love to me, but there was one problem. Jacob explained that while he was fighting, he had to be utterly focused. If he thought about us lying in bed together—and he undoubtedly would—he might lose his concentration, and he'd wind up getting himself or his men injured in the process.

He made me promise not to worry about him, and not to neglect my studies or taking care of Michel. I think Jacob loved him about as much as I did. These were just so many words, though; he couldn't convince my heart, and I sunk onto the bed in despair.

Sitting beside me, he buttoned up my miserable attempt at seduction, and dropped his arm about my shoulder. I turned to him, my eyes alighting on his beloved face. I let my fingers explore his facial contours. I came to love every feature—his wide onyx eyes, that cute little cleft in his chin, his perfectly sculpted ears, that infectious smile on his inviting lips. God, those lips.

Sure, I was attracted to his physical attributes, but he had a heart of gold too. Jacob was considerate and sweet. He could light up a room with his cheerful banter, and that throaty laugh of his. I looked deep into his eyes and declared, "I love you, Jacob Black."

He answered in kind, and then gave me instructions for our goodbye. As a last thought, he took off his Air Force insignia ring, and attached it to one the dog tags he gave me for Christmas. I would keep it safe until his return.

We sat holding each other tight until the clock said it was time for me to go. Jacob gave me one last kiss and a hug. I stubbornly clung to his neck. He had to forcibly remove my hands from his neck. After kissing each of my knuckles, he murmured, "Now remember what I said."

With difficulty, I choked out, "See you soon, Jake."

"See you soon, Bells."

Jacob stood beside the open door, as I walked through it into the hallway. I heard the door close quietly behind me, and a sharp intake of air from my sweetheart. The elevator was a blur, since the tears were pooling in my eyes.

The parking lot was full of party goers, shouting Happy New Year to one another. I weaved through them to my car, and stayed there waiting for Jacob's transport to arrive.

The bus was right on time, and parked in front of the Inn, with the engine idling.

I knew Jacob wanted me to walk straight to my car without looking back, and drive home, but how could I? My life was about to board that transport, so I stood next to my car and with tears falling down my cheeks, watched my sweetheart climb the steps and enter the shuttle. It pulled away from the hotel, leaving me alone and crying in the parking lot.

With leaden feet, I turned, and opening the car door, slid into the driver's seat. I sobbed the whole way home.

* * *

My eyes were puffy and red the following morning. Thankfully, Mom and Dad didn't pump me for any details of my night. I wouldn't be able to articulate anything remotely decipherable anyway. So, instead, they took turns, holding me closely, and patting my back in an attempt to soothe my ruffled psyche.

I scarcely spoke that day, and every time I passed by a mirror, I would see my reflection and the dog tags with his ring hanging from my neck, and I would start to cry again.

I thought about my soldier boy in the oppressive heat with all that heavy equipment on him, flying through the air, dodging bullets and other metal projectiles aimed at him. I had no valid reason to cry, other than I would miss him. Jacob was in harm's way; I was safe at home among loved ones, with a son to care for.

By dinner time, my crying jag was about over. I was determined to follow Jacob's advice, and got my things ready for school the next day. It would be a new beginning—a new semester, a new love, a new year. I'd try to make the best of it for my sweetheart's sake.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Miles Apart

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

Why didn't she listen to me? I couldn't shake that picture of her watching as my bus moved out onto the highway. The glow of a nearby street lamp lit up her face, and even from this distance, I could see the crystal droplets glistening on her cheeks. Jeez, she'd never make a soldier; she apparently couldn't follow orders.

As predicted, I was useless when I finally got to Warhorse. Talk about jet lag! I think I must've slept clear through 48 hours, off and on. When I finally became sensible again, my pals, Already, Embry, Quil and Esau hit me up for evidence of the new girl in my life. They were surprised to find out she was actually the girl that I'd been pining for these last two years. Well, except for Already who put down the boot he was brushing, and taunted, "See, didn't I tell ya, Scrapper?"

They stood around my bed, perusing the pictures spread out over it. Quil whistled as he rifled through the photographic proof that there was now a love in my pitiful existence. "Man will you look at those eyes, and those legs. Mmn, mmn. Tell me she has a sister ... please."

"Sorry, buddy, she's one in a million."

Handing a photo to Embry, Quil demanded, "Pay up, Em. I told you my mom wouldn't make up a story like that."

"Can't you wait 'til payday? I'm a little short on cash right now."

"When the day arrives that you're _not_ short on cash, it'll be snowing in Baqubah."

Embry shrugged, looking at Esau, who put his palms in the air and announced, "Hey, don't look at me. I just lent you twenty bucks two days ago."

I was curious. It wasn't like Embry to waste twenty smackers. "What are doing with your money—shooting craps?"

"The answer is no, and damn, you guys are nosey."

"No, I'm _Nosie_," Esau quipped.

"Well, if you must _know_, there's this cute little nurse over at Anaconda. We've been out on a few dates. I enjoy being with her, so I like to show her a good time."

Quil's eyebrows rose. "And is she showing _you_ a good time too?"

"Typical Quil—she's not that kind of a girl. She's really sweet, and I think I might even be in love with her."

"Ah, love's overrated," Quil spouted, waving his hand in the air.

I couldn't let that remark slide. He had no idea what he was missing. "Says the guy, who's never been in that situation. Just wait 'til you fall for some girl."

"Phft! That'll be the day. It'll be snowing—"

Jostling him on all sides, we chimed in, "Yeah, yeah, we know. It'll snow in Baqubah."

Pushing us an arm's length away, Quil complained, "Hey, watch it. You're wrinkling my uniform."

* * *

I collected all the pictures and put them back in the album Bella gave me, then sat back against the pillow on my bed when the gang traipsed out the door. Already started to dig a little deeper as soon as the door to our CHU shut behind them.

"You're really gone over this girl, huh?"

"You better believe it."

"How gone?"

"Gone enough to marry her."

"You're that serious?"

"Pretty much."

He picked up his other boot, and continued brushing. "Well ... you've got six months to think it over. But if she's the one, go for it, already!"

"I _have_ thought it over. She _is_ the one, and I'm not waiting. I have another furlough comin' up in three months. As soon as I get off the plane, I'm heading to the jewelry store and pick out a ring."

"If you're in that big a hurry, you should go to Baghdad, already. They cater to us GI's. They've got tons of engagement rings, probably cheaper than you can get them stateside too."

"Have you been there?"

"Where do you think I got those sapphire earrings for Pam last Christmas?"

"I saw them. They were nice."

"Hey, enough jabbering. You better get some more shuteye. Fairfax is putting you back on line tomorrow. Good thing too. Mac was about ready to blow a gasket the other day. He's been teamed up with Bull in your absence, and Mac doesn't like him anymore than you do."

"Poor Mac. I'll bet he'll be hugging _my_ horses when I set foot on the tarmac."

"Just don't get too friendly. You're spoken for now."

Already ducked as my pillow came sailing across the room toward his head.

His face lit up with a grin. "Boy, a few days off, and your aim is suffering something terrible. Better hit the rifle range, Scrapper. You're losing your touch."

* * *

Sure enough, Mac was grinnin' from ear to ear when he saw me suited up and ready to embark on our copter.

His arm was instantly around my shoulder. "Damn, the prodigal son has returned. You don't know how glad I am to see your face, Scrapper. Now get on board, and do your thing. We gotta deliver some hell today."

I was feelin' great—the sleepy haze was essentially gone, and I still felt the tingles of love in my bones. Nothing could put me in a bad mood this morning. Since it was my first day back on the stick, Capt. Fairfax had Mac and me doin' ass and trash missions all day long to get me in gear. So, I was in heaven, hovering over the Iraqi landscape, free as a bird.

On our way back from our final haul, I asked my co-pilot, "Hey, Mac, you ever been in love?"

"Once ... a long time ago. I was married to Rita for fifteen years—happiest years of my life. We never had any children. I didn't think it was fair for her to raise them herself, since I was always up there chasing the clouds. My wife was a great woman, never complained of my being gone, or our moving around every year. She died in a car accident. I realized I couldn't ever replace her, so I never even tried. You only find a love like that once in a lifetime."

"I'm sorry, Mac. I didn't know."

"It's okay, kid. It brought back some fond memories."

We banked the helo one last time as we headed toward Warhorse.

"Do you think you'd still be married if she hadn't passed away?"

"I'm sure of it. We were like salt and pepper—me being the old salt, and she the pepper. That woman never backed down in an argument, and I'm here to tell ya, we had some doozies. This might seem odd, but in a way, I looked forward to our spats, because we always made up before going to sleep. Makes me crazy still, just thinking about it. Rita was a woman with a capital W. I miss her even after all these years.

"So, what's all this about, anyway? You in love?"

"Am I ever ...

"I'm worried tho' that I might lose my focus on the mission—you know, by thinking about her."

"You're worrying for nothing, kid. When you're in the thick of it, believe me—your girl will be the last thing on your mind. Survival instinct invariably kicks in. That will always override everything else."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Take it from a veteran, when the heat is on, the brain takes over."

He reached toward me, a slim foil-wrapped object in his palm. "Wriggley's?"

* * *

Things were back to normal, in my soldiering life that is. There were scorpions, dust, heat, explosives and bullets flying—like I said, back to normal.

Mac and I were headed out to Ambush Alley. We got a call that our guys were under attack—_again_. Minutes before, we had just landed our Apache, lending air support over Nasiriyah. All the other helos were out except for us and Martha. There were casualties, so Mac revved up a Blackhawk, and I hopped on board.

The scene was total chaos as we landed close by to pick up the injured. A Bradley moved forward, right in front of us, when an IED exploded. The Bradley flew into the air and crashed down, flipping over and trapping the men inside. Most of them managed to crawl away, but there was one remaining, screaming in pain. I couldn't stand it, and jumped from the chopper, running at top speed to help him out.

I yelled over the battle noises. "I've got you, soldier. I'll have you out of here in a jiffy, just hold tight."

I lifted the burning metal encasing him, and wedged some nearby earthen bricks beneath, to use as a jack. It's true what they say about adrenaline giving you super human strength when you needed it most.

Some of the sharp pieces slipped as the heat caused me to drop them, and bouncing back, cut into my face above my right eye and down my chin. To make matters worse, even with my gloves on, the heat, and flames were blistering my arm and the palms of my hands.

I pulled the guy from the fiery wreckage. One of his legs had a compound fracture, and he probably shouldn't have been moved, but with the AK-47's shooting at us non-stop, I slung him across my shoulders, and ran with him, zig-zgging to the Blackhawk. Bazooka splinted his leg, and looked after the other wounded. I got back in the pilot's seat and took off with Mac like a bat outta hell.

When we arrived at Anaconda, the doc stitched up my eye and chin, while a nurse cleaned and cut away the charred portions of skin, applied ointment, and wrapped the arm up.

The doc advised me, "Stay away from that helo for a few days. Don't be a hero. I know you chopper pilots can't stand to be grounded, but it's only for three or four days, I'm warning you."

He handed me a tube of ointment. "Take this to your camp nurse, and have her change your bandages once a day. You got that, hotshot?"

"Anything you say, doc." In a pig's eye. There was no way he was gonna ground me—not if I could help it. Capt Fairfax however, had other plans.

* * *

Mac was already gone the next morning, Fairfax had teamed him up once again with Metcalf, so I had no where to go, but back to my CHU.

I sat down at the table and wrote to Bella, enclosing a photo of me that Already took the day before. I didn't want her to get all upset, gettin' the news from Maria. Quil was good about writing to his mom, and well ... the grapevine at La Push was as efficient as CNN at spreading the word. This picture would prove that I wasn't hurt that badly.

* * *

BPOV:

Nursing school kept me busy, and my mind occupied with care plans and drug interactions. Anything other than a certain black-haired boy from La Push. But he came rolling back into focus when a letter arrived only two days after he left. How was that possible? The envelope had the Fiesta Inn logo on it, so I put two and two together. Jacob must've written it while he was at the hotel.

_Dear Bells,_

_You're probably wondering, How in the world did this letter come to me so quickly? Simple—I wrote it before I left. Honey, leaving you is the hardest thing I've ever done, and I promise that when I come home for good, I won't ever leave you again._

_You have no idea of the depths of my feelings for you. A warmth fills my heart when we're together. I've never felt this way about any other girl. We were meant to be: Jake and Bells. Has a nice ring to it, huh? Bells, ring—get it? I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist. You know how I like to joke. But joking aside, it was no accident that we're now a couple. It was destiny._

_Please don't cry; I'll be super careful. Before you know it, I'll be in your arms again, and every night, I'll visit you in my dreams._

_Take care, sweetheart. Tell your folks I said, hello, and kiss Mikie for me. I'll be missing you like crazy, but I'll see you soon, okay?_

_All my love,_

_Your Jake_

After reading the letter, I saw him in my mind's eye; the sweet boy with those intense brown eyes, as I sat beside him while driving his Rabbit, in late December, on the snowy roads of La Push.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: The Heat Is On

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

Jacob was so good about writing to me, and I answered each and every one as soon as I read them. Then one day, I got two letters, I was ecstatic until I sat down to read the contents of the second one.

_Dear Bells,_

_I realize that I just wrote you yesterday, but I wanted to get this out before Maria broke the news to you. No, I haven't fallen for another girl. Never happen ... _

_Now, please don't get all upset, but I got into a minor scrape yesterday. I've enclosed a photo that Already took, so you'll know I'm telling the truth._

_I was helping a soldier to escape from a burning vehicle. The Bradley was hot to the touch, and when I lifted some of the metal pieces off him, I accidentally dropped them because of the heat. I had my gloves on so my hands didn't get too badly blistered, but some of the flames ate through my sleeve, and my arm got a little singed. The pieces I let loose of slid forward, slicing into me and left a gash over my right eye, and another one on my chin. The doc at Anaconda, stitched me up pretty good, so maybe the scars won't be that noticeable. I'll probably be just as irresistible as ever. (That's a joke.)_

_I know I said I'd be careful, but the guy was screaming in pain, Bells. I couldn't let him burn to death, and I was in a hurry to boot. The insurgents were really pouring it on us. So, anyway, I'm in one piece, a little battered maybe, but I'm still your Jake._

_By the way, that peanut butter fudge you sent was a real hit with the guys I was lucky to get a piece. Oh, and Dale says hello._

_See you soon, sweetheart,_

_Love ya,_

_Jake_

_PS: The nurse here at camp will be changing my bandages every day. You don't need to be jealous, 'cuz she's not half as cute as you are._

* * *

Looking at the picture he sent me, made my breath catch in my throat. A minor accident, he said? My gosh, I could just visualize him with his arm on fire and the blood dripping down into one beautiful brown eye, and the dimple in his chin. I was totally numb, just staring into space.

Michel crawled onto my lap with a book in his hand for me to read to him; I could barely get the words out. I rocked him to sleep afterwards, and lay down myself, for a nap. Eight more weeks of sitting on pins and needles.

* * *

JPOV:

Man, I was goin' stir crazy hangin' around the CHU, so I bummed a ride with some guys that were going into Baghdad to check out engagement rings. They dropped me off downtown, and scheduled a time to pick me up.

There was a girl there that kept following me around. She looked really familiar, but I couldn't place her. I think she had a crush on me or something. She was only about thirteen or so. Finally, I figured out where I'd seen her before—at Fallujah. I remembered her, because it was so unusual to see a young girl without an escort. The first time I met her; she had _accidentally_ bumped into me, and lifted my wallet. I ran her down to retrieve it, and was shocked when she cringed in fear, her hands suspended in the air, in surrender. I couldn't believe she was afraid of me. Did she actually think I was gonna shoot her, or cut off her hand for stealing? Instead, she looked hungry, so I took her with me for some lunch. I practically had to tow her along, but after that, she became my shadow, begging for chocolate and bottled water, every time she spotted me.

In her broken English she told me her name was Nadeedah, but the American soldiers called her DeeDee. She was on her own, her parents were dead, and her three brothers were fighting the war, probably against us Americans. Anyway, I had just come out of an eatery, and there she was, looking like she hadn't seen a meal in days, so I gave her my plate of food. I'd be damned if I filled my stomach while watching the poor little thing starve to death. I went back into the café and got us something to drink. In return, she showed me the best place to buy jewelry. I handed her some money, before going into the store. She bowed to me in gratitude, and with tears streaming down her face, said, "I not forget you, Lieutenant. Tenk you."

* * *

Dale had just come back from Fallujah where things were starting to heat up for the umpteenth time. I jumped on him as soon as the Blackhawk landed, to show him my newly bought treasure.

He took the ring out of its black velvet case, admiring it. "Wow! I couldn't have picked out a better one myself. That's a beauty."

"You really think she'll like it?"

Pulling off his T-shirt, when he hit the CHU, Already smirked. "Is she in love with you?"

"Phft! Well, yeah, stupid."

"Well, then she'll like it, although, I can't understand what she actually sees in _you_."

I nodded. "It's the black hair. I'm tellin' ya, Dale. You gotta do something about that red curly mop sittin' on the top of your head. You know, they do sell hair dye at the bx."

"Yeah well, that black hair won't do you any good when it starts falling out."

"Ha, the jokes on you. I'm a Quileute, we don't go bald, but in your case, it'd be an improvement."

Already flung his shirt at me. I caught it and threw it back at him, chasing the old married man around his cot, whooping and hollering.

* * *

The next afternoon, I was listening to some CDs, and wallowing in self pity due to my injury-imposed seclusion. Why did I have to burn my arm, dammit? And how did Fairfax find out about it? I should've been up there in clouds—my hands still worked. So, there were a few blisters, big whoop!

While I was bemoaning my fate, Quil came knocking at the door. Jeez, what the hell happened to him? He looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"Jake ... they took Embry."

My ears immediately perked up. "Whaaat?"

"The Iraqis—they took him prisoner, he and Esau. He's at Fallujah. Esau escaped, so he's sure of the place where they're holding him. Captain Fairfax is sending out Mac and Bull right this minute to check out the place, and bring him home."

I bolted off my cot, trotting to my closet. "Not without me, they're not! C'mon, buddy."

I grabbed my body armor and helmet, and slipped them on while I ran with Quil to the landing strip. Bull was on his way, heading for the chopper when I rushed past him, hopping on board the Blackhawk. Esau was already seated along with Mac and Bazooka. There were two gunners, one on either side, six other regulars, and the crew chief in the back.

The chopper was sitting on the ground idling, just waiting to take off.

Mac was chewing and poppin' his gum in annoyance. He yelled at me above the roar of the rotor blades, pointing his finger in my face. "Scrapper, what do you think you're doing? You're grounded. Fairfax will have your hide if he finds out about this. You'll be busted down to a private!"

Strapping myself into the co-pilot's seat, I shot back, "I'll worry about that later. Embry is like a brother to me. He'd be doin' the same thing if it were me out there. So quit your yappin', 'cuz I'm goin' with you."

His head shook, frustrated with me. "Goldarn crazy kid," he muttered.

The helo rose in the air. I waved at Bull, who was standing on the tarmac, looking dazed. I had no doubt that the big blabbermouth would go straight to the captain and squeal about how I ignored his freakin' orders. Hell, he'd probably enjoy it too.

As soon as we were in flight, I spotted Martha tailing us in the Apache. Good thinkin', we could use all the fire power we could get.

We set the bird down near the compound where Embry was taken to. We got out and started toward our target. Mac stayed behind, ready to go airborne at a moment's notice.

"Hey, Scrapper," he yelled. "You be careful out there. I've become a little partial to your company."

I saluted him, and took off, with Esau leading the way.

The Iraqis were waiting for us, the thunder of the choppers heralding our arrival. Martha was hovering above our troops, laying down cover fire.

The enemy was as stubborn as all get out; they definitely did not want us in the compound. I had a sneakin' suspicion they were housing a lot more than POWs in this joint.

The prison camp was actually a cluster of crumbling homes. No tellin' who or what was hidden in them, aside from the prisoners.

The firefight went on for well over an hour. We finally punched through their defenses, with the help of some strategically aimed missiles from the Apache. I radioed Mac about our progress.

"Scrapper One: We're heading in ... Over."

"Mac two: Check Rog: Hurry up, and come home, kid. Over and out."

* * *

The place was a veritable hornet's nest. There were gun emplacements on some of the roofs, and the soldiers manning them were taking pot shots at us. We took two of them out speedily enough, but not before one of my group got hit. I had to send Bazooka to take him back to the chopper.

Esau motioned for us to follow him to the last building in the compound. There was one gunner left on the roof. According to Esau, that's where Embry supposedly was being held. Quil took aim, and the man was a goner. Quil was lethal with a firearm.

It was slow going, snaking around fallen mud bricks and other building materials, at the rear of the house. Esau kicked open the back door, and tossed in a grenade as a precaution. We were all still on high alert.

When the dust settled, Quil and Esau made their way into the prison, making sure it was secure—a few shots ringing out in the process. They returned to the shattered doorway, beckoning us to join them. I left two men outside to keep watch.

Peering into one of the rooms, it suddenly became clear why this prison was being guarded like Fort Knox. It was a repository for a collection of large cone-shaped copper discs, and other components to be used in the manufacture of EEPs.

As we advanced, I heard Quil yell, "Embry?"

A voice I didn't recognize, answered. "Over here."

Then the voice said, "Watch it, guys. The place is booby trapped. There are trip-wires everywhere."

Scrutinizing the rooms for any suspicious looking areas that might hide an explosive, we slowly followed the voice, stepping over Quil's unfortunate casualties.

Esau asked, "Is Embry still there?"

The unknown person replied, "Yeah, he's in the next cell."

It worried me that Embry wasn't answering for himself. Why wasn't he answering?

The entrance to the cells was protected with a rudimentary padlock. One short burst from my .45, and the lock fell away. There were three men imprisoned in the room. The first cell housed a soldier from our regiment, who apparently was already dead, the second held our mystery voice, a marine, named John Samuels. When we marched into the area, he waved at us, saying, "Boy, am I glad to see you guys."

We spotted Embry in the next.

Esau got the keys off a nearby hook to open the doors. One of the regulars helped John, another dragged the corpse from the room. Two others assisted the freed prisoners to the Blackhawk.

Quil, Esau and I attended to Embry. It was obvious why he hadn't spoken. He looked like hell.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: ****M.I.A.**

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

I felt sick as I gazed at one of my best friends. His face was a mass of bruises, and blood streaked splotches. A thick rope had been forced into his mouth as a gag. It was stretched, and tied to the edge of his chair. His arms were also propped over the back of his seat at an unnatural angle, and tied in the same way. Three bullet holes were visible, one in his right arm, one just above that shoulder, and below it, another in his chest.

Embry looked at us, almost without recognition; his eyes glassy and vacant. We quickly got him untied, and he nearly pitched forward out of his seat, no longer being supported by the ropes. Esau and Quil lifted him from the chair, practically dragging him along.

"C'mon, Embry, you're coming with us," Quil said.

Suddenly the two guards outside began shouting for us to hurry. One of them cried, "Guys, let's book. We're about to have company dropping in any time now."

Quil yelled to me, "Jake, we gotta go!"

"You guys go on ahead. I'll be right behind you. I wanna take these EEPs with us. I'll only be a minute."

"Just leave them. Let's go."

"I'm not leaving them here to kill more of our men. Get goin'. If I'm not at the chopper in ten minutes, tell Mac to take off without me. I'll make it back on my own."

I unclipped the radio from my belt, and handed it to Esau." Here take this and let him know you're on the way. That's an order, now go."

Scowling, Quil walked with Esau, each of them supporting Embry as they walked away as swiftly as possible.

I found a large burlap sack, and started stuffing the explosives into it. While I was engaged in that activity, I heard the guns firing from the chopper. Iraqi reinforcements were definitely on the way. Fitting in as many as I could, I started toward the back door, when the insurgents began pouring into the house.

I fled from the prison with the bag in my hand, but with the bullets flying in my direction, I decided to let it drop and ran as fast as I could with the enemy closing in on me. As I came around a corner of one of the houses, a hand reached out of the shadows and grabbed mine, pulling me toward an alley. The hand was small, and it was attached to a girl who whispered, "This way, Lieutenant."

* * *

Nadeedah led me through narrow corridors, and empty houses. While we ran, I heard rotor blades whirring. I looked up into the sky as my helo flew overhead. Did they see me?

We came to a dead end, or so I thought, but my savior tugged at some branches and other debris, exposing a large concrete sewer pipe. "You go," she said.

She trailed behind me, tugging the camouflage back into place. We came out on the other side, at the rear of some more derelict buildings. We stopped long enough to replace the scrub brush covering, and were on our way again. I looked back over my shoulder to be sure we weren't being followed—big mistake. In the second it took to crane my neck, I tripped over a freakin' brick and twisted my ankle. Goddammit—it was difficult enough to run with all this heavy equipment on; it would be next to impossible with a sprained ankle.

The little girl shoved herself under my arm, and using her body as a human crutch, helped me to hobble along.

The pain in my foot was getting unbearable. My dog was literally barking. "How much farther," I asked.

She pointed to a dilapidated home at the end of the street, behind a larger house. "There," she replied.

* * *

Her home was no bigger than my garage. It had one window, a door that was threatening to fall off its hinges, and a dirt floor. There was a little fire pit to cook on, with a few pots sitting beside it. There were also several bottles of drinking water, two cans of Coca Cola—which she probably stole—along with some flat bread, dates, figs, barley, and dried strips of meat.

In one corner was a box of her clothes, in the other, a pallet fashioned from straw and overlaid with blankets for sleeping on.

As I walked through the entrance, I bumped my head on one of the ceiling's crossbeams. Nadeedah covered her mouth with one hand and softly tittered, while I winced, rubbing the throbbing spot on my head. The whole scene reminded me of Luke Skywalker, when he ventured into Yoda's tiny abode. The force definitely wasn't with me today, either.

She gestured for me to sit down, and began to take off my armor and my fatigue top. Shocked, I grabbed at the front of my shirt, and blurted, "Wait a minute. You're just a little girl." Damn, I hoped she didn't have to do this for a living.

Looking confused, Nadeedah said. "If soldiers find you. They kill you. Take off uniform; you look like us, not American GI. Your skin dark like me, yes?"

"Okay, well I guess that makes sense."

My fatigue top, armor, T-shirt and dog tags were all hidden under her things in the cardboard box, along with my .45 and bandolier. Then she took one of her blouses, ripping it into strips, and removed my boots.

She expertly wrapped my ankle really tight, and smiled widely when I nodded and muttered, "Thanks, DeeDee."

Sitting next to me, she patted her stomach, and pointing at me, asked, "Hungry?"

"Nah, you go eat tho'." I didn't want to use up her stock of food, so I would hold off as long as possible.

* * *

After she finished eating, her head jerked up at the sound of a commotion a little ways down the street. _Sh** ... Iraqi soldiers._ I couldn't move fast enough to escape, and there was nowhere to hide, I was done for.

When the insurgents got closer, Nadeedah ran out of the house and met with them. They spoke in Arabic, so I had no idea what was said. To my surprise, the soldiers bypassed the house.

Returning to my side, Nadeedah grinned and gave me a thumbs up.

I was baffled. "What did you say to them?"

"I tell them a soldier come here and steal my water. I ask them, find you and bring back my water. I say you go _waaay_ down to other alley. They not come back this place. You safe now, Lieutenant."

"Well, damn, you're pretty smart for a little girl."

She gave me a high five and bragged, "Yessir, I one, smart cookie."

* * *

That night I slept as well as could be expected. When I woke up, Nadeedah, was curled up by my side, a smile on her lips.

I had a problem that morning. How do you explain that you need to relieve yourself? I pointed to my abdomen, and made a face. That didn't work, so I went with sound effects. "Piiiiisshhhh!"

Her face lit up in understanding, and she handed me a pot, and some rags she kept for that specific purpose. Standing up, she motioned toward the door. "I go out there."

She left for a few minutes, while I used the pot. I felt embarrassed about having her empty it, but she seemed to take it in stride.

Later that day, I gave her some money so she could buy some food for us. And when we ate, she chattered away about how she hated this war, and her stupid brothers who apparently loved it.

It occurred to me that it was no coincidence that she found me when she did. "How did you know I was here?" I asked.

She looked smug as she responded, "I see helichopper. My friend say, it painted ... _Black Scrapper._ I hear soldiers say you Scrapper. So I know you here, maybe in big trouble. I follow loud noises at prison. I see soldiers try catch you. I not like them. I like you, Lieutenant Jacob, only you."

Nadeedah and I stayed together for four days, and each day, I would stand and try to put some weight on my ankle. By that fourth day, it was feeling good enough to walk on. She showed me the way to town, and where the nearest phone was. I got on the horn to call Captain Fairfax, so he could send somebody to get me.

When the jeep arrived, Nadeedah started to cry. I took the silver wings fastened to my breast pocket, and a picture of myself from my wallet, and gave them to her. Then, kissing her cheek, I told her, "You be good now, and stay safe, okay."

That little girl saluted me, and choking back more tears, said, "Yessir."

* * *

BPOV:

Michel was down for the night, Mom and Dad were watching TV, and I was finishing up some homework. The phone rang, ruining my concentration. Dad picked up, then told me, "Long distance—your friend Maria, from La Push."

A chill suddenly shot through me. Why would she be calling this late, unless something horrible had happened?

"Hey, Bella ..."

"Hi, Maria."

Her voice sounded strained. _Bad news—I just know she's calling with bad news. Please don't tell me that Jacob is dead._

"I'm not calling too late, am I?"

"No, it's fine, we're in the same time zone, I think. What's up?"

"Do you remember Jake talking about his friend, Embry Call?"

"How could I forget? Jake told me some hilarious stories about him."

"Embry is just about Jake's best friend, along with Quil. They were all inseparable, almost like brothers. Anyway, Embry was captured during a firefight at Fallujah. He was holed up in a prison there. Jake and a couple of his friends went with a group of soldiers to get Embry out of that POW camp. They rescued him, and I guess he was in a pretty bad way."

"Is Embry going to be all right?"

"Quil said he'll be in the hospital awhile. The higher ups are thinking about sending him home."

_What's all this got to do with Jake? _

"But, that's not the main reason I'm calling. Well ... the thing is, while they were at the house where Em was being held, Jake found a stash of bomb components."

"Oh god, Maria, don't tell me he died in an explosion."

"No, no ... nothing like that ... but he wanted to take the explosives, to prevent our troops from being harmed by them. Jake ordered the guys to leave while he bagged them up. I hesitate to tell you this, but ..." Maria exhaled, and waited a beat. "... he never made it back to the helicopter."

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, and I started to hyperventilate.

"Bella, are you still there?"

Leaning against the wall, for support, I answered, "Yes, but I have to ask, 'When did this happen'?"

"Two days ago."

"Do they think he's still alive?"

"Quil said they flew over the compound and saw him running. Someone was with him—a little girl they think. It looked like she was trying to lead him to safety. Right now, he's been classified as Missing In Action.

"Now, I've got to tell you, I've known Jake for years, if anyone can get out of this jam alive, he can. Don't count him out yet. He's strong and brave—a Quileute warrior.

"I'm so sorry to have to tell you all this, hun, but I thought you should know. Are you going to be all right?"

Lying, I said, "I'll be fine."

"And, Bella, I'll call you back as soon as I hear anything more, okay?"

I ran my hand through my hair in agitation. "I don't care what time the clock says, Maria. You call me."

"I will; I promise. Bye now."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone, walked into the kitchen, and got down a glass from the cupboard. Filling it with water, I took a couple of sips, then sagged onto a chair. I put the glass on the table, and covered my face with my hands. Missing In Action. What exactly did that mean? Would they look for him? Was he alive? Was he dead? Was he injured and in pain? Could he be in that prison himself, being tortured? My brain was screaming for answers, and my heart beating out a silent prayer. He had to come back to me. He told me so, and Jacob Black never went back on a promise. I had to believe that.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Called On the Carpet

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

Dad walked into the kitchen to return a bowl that had a few handfuls of popcorn remaining in it. He glanced over at my slumped figure. "What's the matter, kitten?"

"It's Jacob."

"You two have a fight?"

"No ... he's ..." I burst into tears without finishing the sentence.

In an instant, he was in the chair beside me, holding my hand. "Oh, sweetheart, he's not dead, is he?"

"I don't know," I stammered between sobs. "He's missing in action, Dad. They have no idea where he is, or if he's injured, or bleeding to death in some—"

Dad squeezed my hand. "I know, honey, I know. Jacob seems like a resourceful fellow though. He'll make it back to camp, I'm sure of it."

A tear trickled down my cheek; I wiped it away with the back of my hand. "He made me promise not to worry about him, but how can I keep that promise? He's had his arm burned, his face stitched up, and now this. I can't take much more of it. Of course I'm worried; I'm worried sick!"

"There's nothing you can do about it, and Jacob is right. Worrying won't keep him safe, or bring him home any sooner. It'll only eat at you, and wear you down. Just have faith that he'll be okay."

"If only it was that simple."

"Why don't you go on to bed? Things will look brighter in the morning. Maybe you'll hear something from Maria soon. Don't lose hope."

He kissed my cheek and said, "Your mom and I are going to turn in now. Actually, I think she's already asleep on the couch. So, goodnight, Bells."

"Night, Dad."

* * *

It was hard to concentrate on my schoolwork the next day, but I persevered. And ... whenever I let my guard down, my thoughts invariably turned to my sweet soldier boy. There was a prayer in my heart for him the whole day long.

When I got home, I was a jittery mess. Every time the phone rang, I would jump a mile. Was it Maria? Did she have any news?

The twenty-four hours that followed were no different; my Jacob had been missing now for four days. That night, I beat Dad to the phone when it rang.

Breathlessly, I asked, "Maria?"

"Nope, not even close. Hi, beautiful."

Oh my gosh, I nearly fell on the floor.

* * *

JPOV:

A hand shot out of the jeep, and hauled me in. I looked up, and right into the face of my co-pilot, Mac. Dale was in the vehicle with him. With his gum snapping as usual, Mac said, "You're a sight for sore eyes. Welcome back to the land of the living, Scrapper. You okay?"

I spread my arms out wide, so they could take a good look. "Not a scratch on me."

Already remarked, "I almost needed that hair dye. You nearly turned it all gray."

His head swiveled, looking at Mac who had his hands resting on the steering wheel.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get going already."

Mac beeped the horn, and pulled onto the road. I waved at Nadeedah, as she ran in the opposite direction, my silver wings clutched in her hands.

"Is that her?" Mac asked.

"Yeah, that's DeeDee. If it weren't for her, you'd be rounding up another bunch of suckers to break me out of the Iraqi hoosegow. I'm tellin' ya, when I get outta here, I'd love to send her enough money so she could come to the states. Maybe I could adopt her, so she'd be legal. The kid has nobody except for three brothers who apparently don't give a lick about her. She's all on her own.

"Oh ... say, how's Embry doin'?"

Shrugging, Mac replied, "Haven't heard. Your friend Quil's been at the hospital visiting him off and on. He'll be out of commission for a while. I _did_ hear that he'd been given some drugs to induce his _cooperation_, and now that they've worn off, he and that nurse he's been seeing over there, have gotten pretty damn close."

"Jeez, it's only been four days."

Already rolled his eyes. "He must be a fast worker."

"You don't know Embry; he's as backward around girls as you can get."

"I don't know, it worked for me, red hair and all. Maybe she's the fast worker."

Mac interrupted. "Some girls like the strong, silent type. By the way, I'm not going to be silent about something. Scrapper ... you reek."

Dale held his nose, "I concur. You could vanquish the enemy with one whiff."

I rubbed a hand over my face. "I could sure use a shave too."

* * *

It felt so good to get showered and shaved. Aah—I was a human again.

Dale must've seen me comin' from the showers, 'cuz the door to our CHU swung open as soon as I got there. A mass of red hair peeped out.

"Fairfax wants to see you on the double."

"Yeah, I figured."

He walked inside and sat back down. Martha was seated next to him watching a football game on the TV set he just bought from who knows where. Some people had connections—even in Iraq.

"Hope you get to keep your silver bars. He was madder than hell, when he found out you flew the coop. Incidentally, how's that arm?"

I pulled up my sleeve. "See for yourself. Flying that bucket didn't hurt it in the least. It probably helped to exercise my hand too, so it wouldn't get all gnarled."

Martha piped up. "You know, if you put aloe vera gel on it, it won't scar so bad."

"Is that right? Martha, you're a wonder."

Already looked up from the game for a second. "You better get down to see the Captain, I don't want him marching in here, ruining our game."

"I'll go see the nurse at the clinic first, so I can get her okay to fly."

After a tongue click, Already taunted, "Your funeral."

* * *

"You're lucky this didn't get infected," the nurse fumed. "I can just imagine what those bandages looked like. What were you thinking?"

"Hey, I don't need a lecture. I know I shouldn't have gone. But what would you have done if it was your brother being held?"

"Okay, I guess I would have done the same thing. Your arm actually looks pretty good, so you'll be in the clouds tomorrow, unless the Captain kills you first. Now get out of here."

"Yes, Ma'am." I saluted, and left for Fairfax's headquarters.

* * *

I stood at attention, waiting for the man to drop the bomb. He kept looking down at his feet, muttering to himself and wearing a furrow into the dirt floor with his pacing.

Finally he tipped his head up, closing the distance between us, staring me in the eye. He quietly said, "Do you know how lucky you are to be alive?" Then with a shout that could start an avalanche, he added, "Do you?"

The blast from his lungs nearly knocked me over.

"Yessir," I answered, without flinching.

"You do know what orders are, don't you."

"Yessir, I do, sir."

"Well then, why don't you FOLLOW THEM!"

"Sir, I—"

"I don't want to hear you excuses. Believe me I've heard them all. Call was your friend; yada, yada, yada. I know that. But you were not to be in that chopper. You could have permanently damaged your hands and arm. Did you even think about that? Of course not. You went off half-cocked, with no consideration of the consequences.

"All right ... so you managed to rescue your buddy, but you also managed to get yourself into heaps of trouble with the Iraqis."

The captain sighed, and moving his head from side to side, spouted, "Tell me, Scrapper, do you like being a Lieutenant?"

"Very much so ... sir."

"You know, I do have the authority to have those little black threads removed from your collar. But ... considering you found a nest of EEP components, and attempted to confiscate them, I'll let them remain where they are. I sent Mac and Bull back there to light the place up. Boom! No more EEPs. So your concern about that is over.

"Now ... you aren't going to have any more problems following my orders from this time forward, are you, Lieutenant?"

"No sir."

He cupped his ear. "What was that? I can't hear you."

"I said, no sir!"

"All right then, you are hereby dismissed. Now get the hell out of my sight, and I don't want you to darken my door again, until it's time for your discharge. Is that understood?"

I stood there, without moving a muscle, debating whether or not to ask him something that was on my mind.

Scowling, he yelled, "Something wrong with your hearing, Lieutenant? What are you still standing there for? Do I need to repeat myself? I told you—you're _dismissed_."

"Yessir. May I ask a question first, sir?"

"What is it _this_ time, soldier?"

"May I borrow your phone to call my girl? She's probably really worried."

"And well she should be. You can use the one in my adjutant's cubicle."

"Thank you, sir."

We saluted each other, and I walked to the other side of the tent to the adjutant's desk.

* * *

The adjutant was busy at her station, getting some documents ready for her superior's signature. She looked up from her work, when I approached her.

"Hey, Lynn, Fairfax says I can use your phone. Do you mind?"

"No, be my guest. I'll go over some of this paperwork with the Captain so you can have some privacy."

She smiled, coyly. "You calling your sweetheart?"

"Yeah, I probably scared the crap out of her. I thought if she heard my voice, she'd realize for a fact that I'm fine."

"You look more than fine to me, except for those stitches. When do they come out?"

"Five more days, and I'll be so glad. They itch like a sunuvagun, and it's a bitch tryin' to shave."

"Well, good luck with your girl."

"Thanks."

* * *

Bella picked up at her end. I could tell how anxious she was. Her breath was coming in pants. "Maria?" she blurted.

"Not even close," I teased. "Hi, beautiful."

Jeez, you would've thought the roof caved in the way she shrieked. "Jake, oh my god, Jake. Are you okay? Where are you? Are you hurt? They didn't torture you, did they?"

"Hold on, hold on, I'm back at Warhorse, safe and I didn't get tortured. The soldiers never found me. A little girl named Nadeedah, kept me at her home. She even sent the enemy on a wild goose chase, beating the bushes searching for me. I'll tell you all about it when I come home on leave. Which reminds me, when is spring break? We gotta synchronize our watches, 'cuz I'm not sharing you with the ASU College of Nursing."

I heard her breath hitching. "Honey, don't cry. Really, I'm fine."

"I can't help it Jake. I thought I lost you. I want this stupid war to be over, so we can be together."

I sat down on Lynn's chair. "Me too, but right now, you gotta tell me when school breaks."

She sniffled. "The first two weeks in April."

"Okay, I'll see you then. Oh, and pack a suitcase, and a bathing suit."

"Why? Where are we going?"

"I'm not tellin' you. I want it to be a surprise."

Lynn began walking toward me. "I better go. I'm in Fairfax's office, and he's not too pleased with me at the moment. I love you, Bells. Kiss Mikie for me, and say hello to your folks."

"I will. I love you, Jake. Please be careful."

"You got it, honey. See you soon."

"See you soon."

I hung up just as Lynn made it back to her desk.

"Everything okay?"

"Yep. Thanks, Lynn."

"Any time, soldier."

Hooh boy, my heart was thumping away in anticipation. Only three more weeks, and Bella and I would be back in each other's arms.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: A Business Deal

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

Thankfully, the captain was merciful and didn't ground this hotshot, so things were pretty much back to normal. The stitches got removed, and my hands and arm were healed. And whaddya know, Martha was right. I bought some aloe vera gel through the _I can get you anything guy_. The scars were minimal, not that I cared, but Bella might've bawled at the sight.

That Friday I went out with some of the guys to Fallujah, and literally ran into Nadeedah. She was coming out of a store in a hurry. I'm sure she had her pockets full of stolen property as she plowed right into me, smack dab in the middle of my chest. I pulled her away from the street quickly, excused myself from my present company, and took her behind the store.

"DeeDee," I chastised. "You've gotta stop stealing all the time. Now hand over everything you took from this place."

She handed me the items, mostly food, sniffling the whole time..

"Wait here," I told her.

I went around to the store front, and waved away my buddies. "You guys go on ahead. Meet me at Ali's in an hour. I've got some business to attend to."

Returning all the goods to the shopkeeper, I was on my way out the door when I noticed a young woman selling scarves. That gave me an idea.

Nadeedah was sitting on a wooden box, with her head hanging, looking so sad it broke my heart.

"What you need is a job."

Her face contorted into a frown. "But soldiers not want me. I not pretty. Too young they say."

"Jeez, not that kind of job! Promise me you won't do that."

"Okay, I nooot!"

"Can you wait tables?"

"No ... They still say, DeeDee too young."

"How old are you?"

She shrugged.

"Well, when's your birthday?"

Another shrug. Damn, I wanted to bawl, myself.

I shoved her over and put my arm around her. "Okay, so let's see. Can you sew?"

This time she nodded.

"Do you think you could make some scarves like the girl that just walked by."

"Yes, but I not have some silk. No thread, no ..." The girl began clipping her index and middle finger together up and down. "... cut thing."

"Okay, here's the deal. I'll give you the money to buy the supplies, and you can sell them on the street. I'll even buy some from you. I don't want you stealing anymore. They'll catch you sooner or later, and you'll go to jail, or worse. You understand?" Her little face lit up, warming my heart as well.

I pulled her up by the hand. "What say we get some lunch, huh?"

* * *

I noticed as she ate, that my silver wings were prominently displayed as a pin on her chador. When she finished, I gave her a twenty dollar bill. "Is this enough?"

Her eyes were as big as saucers. I guess she'd never seen that much money before. "Yes, yes!"

"I expect to see you selling scarves next Friday, right?"

"Right ... Tenk you, Lieutenant Jacob."

"You're welcome, honey."

A shy smile emerged, along with a blush along her cheeks.

* * *

The following Friday, I dragged Embry, Esau and Quil with me to the spot where Nadeedah was selling her wares.

Embry had just gotten out of the hospital three days prior. He had a free ticket home, but declined, saying, "What? And break up the Moosketeers? No Way!"

We all thought he'd lost his marbles, but it was great having him back with us.

I finally spotted her on the street with a large basket full of colorful scarves. I told my buds about her, and coaxed Embry to buy one for his sweetie.

"Embry, this is Nadeedah, the girl that saved my life.

"DeeDee, this is Embry, and next to him is Quil, and Esau."

Her head slowly tilted upward to take in all of her new acquaintance. "Ohhhh ...you, Embry? So Tall! Like Lieutenant, Jacob."

Quil puffed out his chest. "What about me?"

Nadeedah nodded. "Yes ... so tall!"

A smirk suddenly appeared on Quil's face. He loved attention, even if it was from a little girl.

She turned to Esau, smiling. "Your name, very nice."

Embry sifted through her basket, and picked out a sheer, pink and yellow scarf for his favorite nurse. Quil chose a midnight blue just for the hell of it, and Esau couldn't make up his mind.

"I'll get one next week," he finally announced.

And me? I put in a special order.

Hey, DeeDee, do you think you could make me a black scarf and embroider a bell in one corner? Maybe with gold thread?"

Her face scrunched up in confusion. "What mean, embroider?"

I pointed to the hem on her dress. It had red pomegranates all along the bottom. "See? Like that. A picture made with thread."

A light shone from within her face. "Oh, yes. I can do."

"I'll pay you extra."

"No, you do too much. I do that for you ... for no money."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we'll see about that."

This little girl grinned like the sun comin' up at dawn. "You forget, Lieutenant Jacob. DeeDee, one smart cookie." Then she stuck her tongue out at me. That needed no translation.

* * *

On the way back, to base, Quil snarked, "You are such a cream puff. You can't save everyone in the world, Jake."

"No, but I can save her. It's the least I can do. I'd be a dead man right now, if it weren't for her help."

"You can say that again," Esau chipped in.

Quil rolled his eyes. "Okay, I see your point. I guess I'll just havta buy another scarf next week."

"And me too. Hey, does that make us all cream puffs?" Embry asked. We all broke up laughing.

* * *

Back at Warhorse, I got on the horn to the R&R CTO (contract ticketing office) to book my flight to Phoenix. I'd make a one day layover there, pick up Bella, and go from Sky Harbor to our final destination. I wrote a letter to Charlie to let him know my plans, and ask his permission to take her with me. I had Already address the envelope so Bella wouldn't get wind of it. I was so excited that my leg kept bouncing up and down as I was writing.

I didn't get to pick up that scarf from Nadeedah. Things were heating up at Nasiriyah, and we were all going out doing double shifts. Man, I would be so glad to get the hell outta here. In seventy-two hours I'd be on that plane.

The night before my departure, I called Bella. Her voice sounded funny.

"Okay, what is it? Please tell me you're not gonna back out of this. I've been looking forward to this trip for weeks? You're not, are you?"

"No, it's ..."

"It's what? C'mon, Bells. Now you've got me worried. I'm not gettin' off this phone 'til you tell me, now what is it?"

"James was here yesterday."

"You gotta be kiddin' me. What the hell did he want?"

My mom called Lola, his mother, and they both came to the house to talk me out of moving to La Push. She threatened to go to court if I tried to relocate. I know it was his mother that put him up to it, but later, when he called, he sounded like she had convinced him to keep Michel and me here in Arizona also. He has me scared, Jake."

"Don't you worry, honey. I'll take care of it."

"How? He's his father. Will the court decide in his favor?"

"I doubt it. He hasn't ever given you any child support, has he?"

"No."

"And he's never seen Michel 'til now, has he?"

"No."

"So, see. No problem. There's no way he could win this battle." _And if that doesn't work, I have other ways to make him see reason._

The next comment I made was an out and out lie. "Okay, then. I have a layover in Dallas, then I land at Sky Harbor the next day, April 2nd. I'll rent a car so you won't have to wait at the airport. I'll call you when I get in, okay? And don't you worry about James or his mother. See you soon, sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

I slept pretty good all the way out to Sky Harbor. I really wanted to be rested up, so I'd have my wits about me. I'd be needing them tonight.

I got to the room I booked at the Fiesta Inn, and called the desk for the number to The Talk of the Town. I was on my way to the club in the next five minutes.

There was a bouncer at the door. He smiled and shook my hand. "Hey, simper fi, man."

"Wrong branch." I pointed to my arm patch.

"Ah, hotshot fly boy, huh? Where you serving?"

"Iraq."

"Good luck. By the way, if you ever need a job. We could always use another bouncer."

Little did he know that I'd be doin' a bit of bouncin' myself tonight—without pay.

He saluted me, and stood back as I entered the building. I looked around the room. I must've stuck out like a sore thumb, being a head taller than the other occupants, and dressed in ABU fatigues, with my .45 strapped to my shoulder. The stage was empty, the band just stepping down from the platform. I strode forward, grabbing the first guy who touched his feet to the floor. "I'm lookin' for James Saulnier. Is he here tonight?"

The man swept his hair back from his forehead. "Yeah. That's him, over at the bar. Look, if he owes you money. You better come back on Friday."

"Thanks, but I owe him." _And he deserves this payment._

I walked slowly to the bar, and sidled up to him. He was only about 5'8", slim build, light brown hair, and hazel eyes. There was a cigarette dangling from his mouth, and a beer in his hand. I tapped him on the shoulder. "Are you, James Saulnier."

He turned, blowing a puff of smoke in my direction, then flicked the ashes onto the counter. "Yeah, so? What's it to _you_?"

Looking me up and down, he added. "Wait a minute. You're Bella's new boyfriend. Scraping the bottom of the barrel there, pal, aren't you?"

"First of all, I'm not your pal. Second of all, we need to have a little heart to heart. So, let's step outside for a while, shall we?"

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"I have a .45 on me that says you will."

His eyes locked onto my holster, as he crushed out his cigarette, and put down his beer. I saw his head jerk toward the back door, and one of the band members caught his eye and nodded.

"After you," I urged.

Two of the other guys were waiting outside the back entrance, and I was ready for them. I knew James would have his guys to back him up. They stood in the shadows about to jump in if necessary.

"Make it snappy, we have another set coming up. What the hell do you want anyway?" James snarled.

"I want you to stay away from Bella. She's mine now."

"Keep her, I don't care. It's the kid. I don't want him to leave this state."

"What for? You've never been a father to him. He doesn't even _know_ you."

With his head bobbling arrogantly, he sneered, "Yeah, well, after seeing him, maybe I changed my mind."

I stepped closer, intimidating him. "I'm here to make sure you change it back again."

James motioned his band mates forward and his two cronies rushed me at that moment. What idiots. I stuck out my foot, tripping the first one. While he was grounded, I pulled the second guy's head down to my knee, letting it knock some sense into him. I let go of his hair, and he shook his head sending the stars flying off. As he was busy gaining his balance, I picked the other one up by the back of his belt, and threw him, sliding on his stomach back into the opening of the door. By this time, James, coward that he was, moved slowly, retreating toward his buddies who were now scrambling to be anywhere but here.

I forced James against the back wall. Grabbing him by the collar, I lifted him slightly, so that he was balancing on his toes, and with gritted teeth, hissed, "I don't want to hurt you, drummer boy. But if I hear you threatening my girl again, you better believe I'll be back to finish what I started—and the end result won't be pretty. You got it?"

The sound of him swallowing loudly, drove home the idea that he got my message loud and clear. I loosened my hold on his velvet shirt just as the bouncer appeared.

James slunk away, like the snake he was. The bouncer asked, "You okay, hot shot?"

"I'm fine," I countered.

The bouncer jiggled his head. "Phft! Musicians ..."

He patted my back, and escorted my inside. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Nah, but thanks anyhow. I gotta get back to my hotel."

"Well, come back anytime. These musician types could use another lesson in good manners."

I left the place, pleased with the results. I didn't think James would be bothering my Bella anymore. Now that the James issue was solved, I could concentrate on the good stuff.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Disclaimer: S Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

BPOV:

I could've killed my mother. She called Lola, James' mom, and actually told her my plans about moving to Washington. And now, here they were, James and Lola in our living room, sitting in a circle with us, doing their best to convince me to stay in Arizona.

Lola was fawning over Michel, and he was squirming to get off her lap. She turned to my ex. "Oh, James, isn't he just the cutest thing. He looks so much like you, don't you think?"

"Yeah, Ma."

Her eyes were ablaze. "You could show a little enthusiasm. This is your son."

He looked down, picking at his dirty fingernails, with a sullen expression on his face. "I know. You don't have to rub it in."

"You haven't been the best father, but this could be the start of a new phase of your life.

"Just look at him ... Are you willing to let Michel live his life without knowing you?"

James did a little eye roll, clearly uncomfortable, and Lola did not miss the gesture. "You might not ever have another child. Think about that."

He slouched back into the couch. "I am thinking."

"Well, think harder," she huffed. "You would _think_ you'd have some interest in your own flesh and blood."

A loud sigh escaped his lips. Lola stood up and handed my son over to him. Michel looked at him, not liking what he saw, and started to cry. James immediately handed him back to me. I stood up with Michel clasped to my chest, patting his back, trying to soothe him.

James let loose with another eye roll accompanied by a shrug. "He doesn't like me."

Lola clicked her tongue in disgust, and plopped back onto the chair. "That's because he doesn't know you, idiot."

That was when the conversation turned to me. "Bella, sweetheart, you know, I've always loved you, and even though you and James are no longer a couple, I feel it best that you stay here in Tempe. You can marry your soldier. I don't care about that; only don't take my grandson away from me."

I looked at my Mom. She'd been sitting there quietly, not offering an opinion on anything. "Aren't you going to say a word?"

"What can I say? I feel the same way. This new guy is good for you. I can see that, but do you have to move so far away? Why can't he move here?"

My patience was wearing thin. "We've been through all this a hundred times, Mom. Jake has more to give up than I do. He has friends and family there. I have you and Dad. I can't make him do that for me. I couldn't live with the guilt."

Lola's mouth tightened into a thin line. "But it's just dandy to leave us all behind. This is the last straw. You know, I've tried to be nice about this whole situation, but I'm telling you, little girl, you haven't heard the last of me. You'll be hearing from my lawyer."

Lola curled her finger, motioning James to get up. "C'mon, let's go."

Before she swept out the front door, she pivoted around facing my mother. "Renee, I can't believe you've brought up such an uncaring daughter. And here I thought she was such a sweet girl."

* * *

Maybe she was just bluffing, but I still was pretty upset.

That afternoon, James was phoning me, ugh!

"Hey, dollface."

I rolled my eyes; I hated that nickname. "What do you want, James?"

"I was just thinking. Maybe Mom is right. That kid is really cute. And maybe I would like to see him once in a while."

"That's your mother talking."

"This was her idea, but it's starting to grow on me. Who knows if I'll ever have another kid?"

"Don't lie to me, James. I happen to know about that blonde bimbo you were seeing? What was her name—Bingo?"

"BonBon. It's not like you haven't been trawling the ocean too. Anyway, you were huge, no fun anymore.

"For your information, I haven't been with any other guy."

"Oh yeah, I believe that one," he uttered sarcastically.

"I don't care if you believe it or not, but you do have a daughter you should be worried about. Have you even seen her, or have you ignored her too, like she doesn't exist?"

"She's a girl!" he said disparagingly. As if that made a difference ...

"Poor Bingo."

"Hey, that wasn't my fault. If she didn't want a little monster, she should've been on birth control."

By now, the anger was boiling up inside of me, and I practically spit out, "So responsible, aren't you? You know, condoms aren't that expensive."

"They are, when you'd go through them as fast as I would."

"You're a one man population explosion, you know that?"

"From the looks of your kid, I'd say I make pretty babies. The world should appreciate my contribution. And I'm telling you right now—you are not taking my contribution out of this state. You hear me?"

My foot had been tapping on the floor all this time. The tapping became louder and faster. "Are you threatening me?"

"Call it what you want. I'll be keeping my eyes on you, Bellaaaah!"

Dad heard my voice rise at the last comment I made, and took the phone from me. "You listen to me, Son. You don't call here anymore, you understand?"

"Hey, old man. I'll call if I want, and I'll see my son anytime I want too. And you and nobody else is going to stop me? Do _you_ understand?"

"I understand perfectly, but if I catch you on my property, I'll be getting out my gun. Now, this conversation is over!"

The phone was slammed back on the cradle. Dad's face was purple with rage. His hand was on my shoulder. "If that insolent jerk calls again, you give the phone to me, and let me handle it."

He went back to his newspaper lying on the seat of his Lazyboy, muttering under his breath.

* * *

The next evening, Jacob called to update me on his travel plans, and sure enough, he could glean from my tone that something was wrong. At first he thought I had changed my mind to go with him on this trip, but there was no way I would miss the chance of being with him. I was counting the seconds.

I felt a little better after confessing that James and Lola had been here. Jacob seemed to have a knack when it came to calming me down. Now I only had to wait another forty-eight hours to see that million dollar smile.

* * *

My luggage was sitting by the front door, but I was pacing. My stomach was in knots, waiting for his call. I nearly sailed across the room when the phone rang, and I heard Dad snicker as I lunged for the receiver.

"Jake ...?"

"Hi, beautiful. You ready?"

"Yeah, I'm all packed. Are you going to tell me where we're going now?"

"Not a chance. You'll find out when we get there."

"Well, when are you going to be _here_?"

"Ten minutes, tops. See you soon, sweetheart."

I was biting my lip at this point. "Hurry."

"Believe me, I'm hurrying."

* * *

The fabric in the curtains was probably getting worn, because I was pulling them back every few minutes. I was so anxious to see him that I kissed and hugged my parents and Michel so I'd be one step closer to tearing out of the house. Finally, I spied a car pull up. I squealed as a tall masculine form with black hair emerged. After walking a few steps, he looked up, grinning when he spotted me. He made a mad dash to my front door, but it was already yanked open, and I was racing to meet him.

We crashed in the middle of the sidewalk. I was lifted in the air and swung in a circle, as he exclaimed, "My god, I missed you, Bells!"

I didn't get to respond right away, because our lips were busy saying hello. For a few minutes, we were happy, and breathless, and couldn't care less. Jacob was the first to break his hold on me. "Where are your bags? We gotta go, honey. Time's a wastin'."

"They're by the front door."

He held the passenger side open for me, and I got in. Jacob entered the house, shook hands with my dad and mom, and kissed Michel on his cheek. Picking up the bags, I heard him say, "I'll take good care of her sir, and thanks."

* * *

My gosh, I had never seen such a huge jet in my life. The airliner at Sky Harbor was big enough, but this thing was gigantic. They didn't call it a jumbo jet for nothing. Jacob held my hand as it started its climb from the runway at LAX, and truthfully, I wondered how in the world it would get into the air. The plane was a big as a house!

Ultimately, we were in flight. I managed to relax some, and took the time to take a closer look at Jacob's face. There was a thin line cutting diagonally across his right eyebrow, and another C shaped scar on the left side of his chin, that was barely noticeable. He was right—the boy was still irresistible—and even though he joked about it, I wasn't.

His uniform fatigues covered his arm, so I didn't get to inspect the rest of the damage. I didn't know if I really wanted to either. I'd probably start crying at the sight. Anyhow, Jacob had told me to pack a bathing suit. Wherever we were headed definitely had beaches, so I was sure to see it then.

About four and a half hours into the flight, Jacob leaned across me and pointing, said, "Look out the window, honey."

Beneath me stretched the most beautiful turquoise blue carpet I had ever seen. It was dotted with a chain of islands. They looked familiar; I'd seen them on TV, National Geographic or the Travel stations for sure. I hazarded a guess, and as we stepped off the plane, I found out I was right. There were women and men there to greet us with flower leis. They sang, accompanied by ukuleles.

Practically jumping up and down, I shrieked, "Oh my gosh, Jake—we're in Hawaii!"

"I know," he responded, pulling me close. His brown eyes were dancing in his head at my reaction. "C'mon, we're not at our final destination yet."

We caught our connecting flight to Kauai, on Aloha Airlines. It was a quick jaunt. We flew up like a rocket and back down to earth. I guess that's why the natives call it Island hopping. One minute there was that beautiful sea beneath us, and in the next, the wheels of the plane touched down on the runway.

Jacob rented us a car, and we drove to the Kauai Surf at Kalapaki Beach. This was touted to be a peaceful, beach with mild waves—just my style. However, my soldier boy said he would be doing some surfing while he was here.

I was totally swept away. I couldn't believe I was actually here with my sweetheart. It was heaven, and he was my angel beside me.

The suite was gorgeous, but Jacob was a little miffed. There was only one king size bed in the room. He called the desk and was told the rooms that were furnished with two beds were already occupied. I assured him, "It's okay, Jake. I can always sleep on the couch if worse comes to worse."

"Over my dead body. I'll take the couch."

"You'll never fit; your feet will hang over the edge. Besides, you paid for this trip. I'm not letting you do that."

"Well, I'm not letting you either."

"The bed's big enough for both of us—there, problem solved."

He looked at me, skeptically. "I'm glad you think so." Then he suddenly smiled very mischievously at me. What was he up to?

Lunch was served on the plane, so after we unpacked, we walked outside the hotel, and checked out Kukui's, the Beach Hut and Duke's for later on. All three restaurants were within walking distance, which made it very convenient.

Duke's won the toss up. We ate mahi mahi, fresh fruit and haupia pudding for dessert.

You would think that I'd be tired after the long plane ride and transfers, but I was just so excited to walk on the beach with my Jacob. Dusk settled, the sun lazily sunk behind the ocean, and the stars began to twinkle in the inky curtain of night.

The melodies from the guitars and ukuleles of a neighboring hotel floated on the breeze as we walked hand in hand.

"Did you ever think that you'd be strollin' on a sandy shore in Hawaii ... with me?"

I looked out across the wide expanse of ocean, and squeezed his hand. "No, I thought we'd be someplace closer to Phoenix, like Las Vegas, or California. This is so surreal. I'm afraid I'll wake up, and it will all have been nothing but a dream. Maybe you should pinch me."

"I won't pinch you, but I read somewhere that the kiss of your one true love will wake you from your slumber. Should I give it a shot?"

"Any time you're ready, my prince."

"Hey, girl, I'm always ready. Any time, any place."

"Any place, huh? Well, come get me then ..."

I let go of his hand and started to run along the beach, laughing. I looked back over my shoulder, and he'd almost caught up with me when I stumbled, and fell over backwards into the sand. Jacob was on me in a second.

"You okay?"

I sighed. "Yeah, it's just my pride that got hurt."

He leaned over me, the light of the full moon reflecting off his face. God he was gorgeous. I impulsively pulled his head down, so I could feel his mouth on mine. "Any time, any place," I repeated in a whisper.

In the blink of an eye, the full length of his body was pressed to mine, and I didn't resist at all. What would be the point? My fingers were entwined in his hair, drawing him ever closer. His hands were softly stroking along my cheekbones, as his lips continued to silently do the talking for his heart. And they said plenty; their intent made perfectly clear.

I was starting to burn somewhere deep in my core, a delicious warmth that only Jacob could induce. I didn't want him to stop, but another couple was quickly approaching us. So Jacob rolled to the side, and now crouching, offered his hand to haul me up. We brushed off the sand, and with his arm circling my waist, led us back to the hotel.

When we reached our room, I began to yawn. It was only 7:30 Hawaiian time, but it was four hours later in Tempe. I could just imagine what Jacob must've been feeling like.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me, and tucking my head under his chin, murmured, "You must be exhausted. Why don't you go get in bed? I'll join you in a few. I'm gonna shower first."

He walked over to the dresser to get out a tee and some sweats. I followed him there, and removed a black lace nightie from the bottom drawer. His head jerked as I pulled it out, so I knew he saw it, but when I grabbed the matching panties, he took off to the bathroom like a rocket. What was that all about?

Lying in bed, I waited for him as long as I could. Didn't he get the go-ahead signal? But maybe I was wrong; maybe he still wanted to wait until he was back home for good. At any rate, I fell asleep, and didn't wake up until morning.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Seaside Lark

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

What a lowlife that James character was. What kind of a man threatened a woman? I didn't understand what Bella saw in him. How did he ever become her guy? It didn't make any sense to me—at all.

I felt good about our encounter, but I would've felt so much better if I could've just landed one well aimed blow on that smug face of his. This way, he wouldn't be seeking revenge though, so I guess it was in my best interest to restrain myself no matter how much I wanted to take a swing at him. As it was, he looked like he was scared sh**less when he left me standing at the rear of the club.

I slept like a baby that night, and was up bright and early the next morning I called Bella right after breakfast. I greeted her with my usual charm, "Hi, beautiful."

The little minx sounded breathless as she picked up the phone. It was gratifying to know that she was as eager to see me as I was to see her. Hooh boy, I could almost picture her face, and taste her lips from my hotel room. She told me to hurry, and I responded in kind, "Believe me, I'm hurrying."

Pulling up to the house, I climbed out of the rental, and started toward the door. There was that cute little brunette peeking out the window. My brain immediately popped into third gear, and my feet followed. I broke into a run. Bella apparently had the same idea, 'cuz she flew out the door and into my waiting arms.

My heart was poundin' so hard as I felt her soft form snug in my embrace. I lifted her above my head, swinging her in the air as I spouted, "My god, I've missed you, Bells."

I didn't waste any time. I practically pushed her into the vehicle. Picking up her bags, I said goodbye to her family at the same time.

* * *

The expression on Bella's face was priceless when we settled in our seats aboard the 747. Her knuckles were white as the engines turned and the aircraft began to taxi onto the runway. I squeezed her hand tightly to reassure her, but the blood still fled from her cheeks, leaving her face a ghostly shade of pale, and her body, frozen stiff.

"You can relax, honey. I'm sure the pilot has flown this bird at least a hundred times, maybe more."

"Easy for you to say," she whimpered.

I wondered how she'd fare aboard my chopper. Would she trust _my_ piloting skills?

Her body loosened up when we finally got airborne, thank god. And I started chattin' away as usual. I was doin' most of the talking about my buddies back in the Middle East, and the girl who saved my life, Nadeedah. She wasn't sayin' much, so I peered over at her, and caught Bella scanning my face. I realized she was examining every little scar there, not that I blamed her, but I hated to have her dwell on it.

"Hey, earth to Isabella Swan. Come in, Isabella Swan," I spouted, snapping my fingers if front of her nose.

"Oh, Jake ... your beautiful face."

I shrugged it off. "Just pretend I cut it shaving. It _could_ happen, right?"

"But it didn't."

"Are you sayin' you don't love me anymore 'cuz of a few measly scratches?"

Her fingers delicately traced along the well-healed wounds. "No, if anything, I love you more."

"So see, it was worth it."

"Please don't joke about this. I cried when I saw the photo you sent."

"Jeez, if I had known it would make you cry, I would never have sent it in the first place. I only wanted to cushion the blow. I figured if Maria told you about my accident, you both would've blown it way outta proportion, conjuring up this image of me stitched up like Frankenstein's monster."

Bella rested her hand on my cheek. "You promised me, you'd be careful."

I drew her head against my shoulder. "Okay, I'll try to be more careful. And you try not to worry so much."

She tilted her head up, looking at me with those big doe eyes. "When you find out how to make me do that, let me know, because I can't help it, Jake. I'm going to worry about you, no matter what you say."

Re-positioning herself on my arm, she sighed softly. I leaned down, and touched my lips to the top of her head.

* * *

As we disembarked, the melodic strains of Hawaiian music filled the air. Bella all at once, realized where she was, and started bouncing up and down like a little kid. The other passengers were amused, as she yelled, "Oh my gosh, Jake. We're in Hawaii." _As if I didn't know._

I loved seeing her like that—so happy and without a care in the world. This trip would be worth every penny I spent.

I rented a car for us, and drove to The Kauai Surf hotel, but I wasn't pleased when we entered the room; it only held one bed. I specifically told the travel agent, two separate beds.

Bella tried to convince me that it would be okay to sleep together, since the bed was king size, but being so close to her, I couldn't guarantee the safety of her virtue around this soldier.

"The bed's big enough for both of us—there problem solved," she insisted.

"I'm glad you think so," I scoffed. Jeez, my girl was extremely naïve, but actually, maybe this would force my hand. And since we were already in bed together ... _Hooh boy, I'd better switch to another thought fast. _And so, I left that sticky situation to be dealt with later.

Unpacking was the next item on the agenda.

"I'll take the bottom drawers," she offered. "I'm shorter than you; I won't have to bend down as far." _Ya think?_

All our clothes and whatnots were put away, so we were off to look over the hotel and the nearby eateries. We ate lunch at Dukes, and I told Bella, "No girly drinks for me this time. There are some other GIs in here."

Her sweet little brown buttons tumbled in her head. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

I smugly replied, "Not a chance."

* * *

The shadows were lengthening, and the full moon was rapidly replacing the sun. It was a great night for a lazy stroll at the water's edge. The pungent fragrance of plumeria rode on the gentle breeze, and the only sounds were the waves rushing toward the sand, along with the faint strumming of the ukuleles from a nearby hotel.

My fingers were intertwined with Bella's, and held close to my heart. It was a magical interlude.

I asked her what she thought of my surprise. She told me that maybe I should pinch her to make sure she wasn't dreaming. When I suggested a kiss from her true love, she broke away from me and took off, running.

"Come and get me then," my saucy girl taunted. Bella didn't get far; she slipped on a piece of wet kelp that had washed ashore and took a tumble. In my concern, I raced to her to make sure she was all right. Damn, was she ever; she grabbed my neck, pulling my head closer so that our mouths were in direct communication, if you get my drift. Then she whispered, "Any time, any place," replicating what I said to her earlier, only she said it with so much more sensuality. In a flash, I had my girl beneath me, pinned to the underlying sand.

Jeez, did she have my freakin' attention! And the girl gave me no resistance whatsoever. Her chest was heaving, and with every breath she took, her breasts would brush against me. I could feel her thighs flush to mine, and her stomach tighten as our tongues tangoed in our mouths. This was bad, really bad—my insides were aflame and screaming with desire. She had no idea what she was doing to me, the little tease. I loved it and hated it at the same time.

Our kisses were no longer sweet and tender—they were a full-on assault, and hooh boy, what a battle we fought. Whoever claimed that women were the weaker sex, had it all wrong. This little girl held total power over me, femininity was her only weapon, and I was hopelessly, helpless. God, I could see I was in for a sleepless night.

If this little tete-a-tete had occurred in the room, there would've been no stoppin' me. I would be a runaway freight train, unable to slam on the brakes. But, since we were getting' it on in full view of the public, our amorous encounter came to a screeching halt.

I rolled off her as a couple came closer, panting, and frustrated as all get out. I helped Bella to her feet, and after brushing away the sand that clung to us, I steered her back to the hotel.

**. . . . .**

Still feeling the effects of our recent rendezvous, I suggested that Bella get in bed while I took a shower. She was yawning; the jet lag catching up with her.

I removed a clean T-shirt and pull string pants from a drawer. Secretly smiling inwardly, I spotted the infamous box tucked in with my briefs, and thought about Bella finding the condoms in my bag last visit. This time, in addition, she'd find a bottle of Astroglide as well. Her face would be a mess of red from sun-up to sun-down. _Oh c'mon, if it happens, I'm gonna be prepared._

Bella was right beside me, grabbing her pjs from the bottom drawer. Looked like she'd been shopping this time, 'cuz the nightie she was pulling out was a black lace see-thru thing. Holy sh**... my imagination was running wild. She leaned over further to grasp the matching panties. In her present position, her dog tags spilled out, the tank top fell open, and I accidentally got a view of two perfect mounds of flesh above the lacy cups of her bra. Jeez, I hurried into the bathroom. I was gonna _need_ that shower.

* * *

When I got to the bed, there was my Bella looking like an innocent angel, with her soft lips parted and her hair all wild and splayed all over the pillow. In actuality she was a demon, tormenting me even in her sleep.

I crept under the covers, being careful not to wake her. Lying beside my sweetheart with my eyes wide open, I thought about how stupid this was. Being in the same bed with her was detrimental to my sexual health, and after what happened on the beach, it seemed to be the same for her. If she wasn't so damn tired, maybe things would've played out differently.

Sometime during the night, I woke up, finding Bella pressed into my back, her long, smooth legs tangled with mine. _Damn, girl ... get awaaaay from me, before I go crazy._

I wiggled, trying to free myself, but not before I ran my hand down one of her legs. Hooh boy, it felt like a sheet of velvet. Bella stirred, and moaning, turned over, facing the opposite direction. _Thank god._

The next morning, I found my girl on top of the covers, her skimpy attire totally exposed to my appreciative eyes. I sat up abruptly. That did it. I was angry—not at Bella, but at myself. Why didn't I have the guts to make my move? She obviously was dressed for the occasion, so why didn't I take the bait? All this skirting the issue was getting us nowhere, so I decided that today was the day, if she gave me the go-ahead. No more shilly-shallying.

I got up, and quietly crossed the room. I retrieved the tiny box and the bottle from the dresser and placed it in the top drawer of the nightstand. I was ready, and hoped she was too, 'cuz, I-just-couldn't-stand-it-any-more.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: The Time Is Right

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

BPOV:

Jacob was already up and dressed when I awoke. He was looking the other way, probably to avoid seeing me like this. It was embarrassing; I was on top of the blankets in my sexy outfit. I only wore it in case Jacob changed his mind about being intimate with me. I guess he still was adamant about waiting. Grabbing the sheet, I pulled it up to cover myself, then I stretched and yawned.

He shot a quick glance in my direction, and seemed relieved that there was a fabric barrier between his eyes and the sight of me in my see-thru attire.

I cleared my throat. "Good morning, or should I say, Aloha?"

"Good morning's fine."

He didn't sound fine. Where was my, _Hi beautiful_? "Did you sleep okay?"

I overheard a loud sigh. "Not really. This bed wasn't _exactly_ big enough for both of us."

The mattress squeaked under his weight as he sat on the edge of it.

"I'm sorry Jake. I'll take the couch tonight."

"That won't solve the problem, Bells. But let's talk about this later, okay? I'll take a walk outside while you get dressed, and we can get some breakfast." He kissed my forehead and walked out into the hallway.

* * *

The ground floor was an open air tunnel. There were frogs hopping along the grass, and I screamed as one brushed up against my leg. I immediately clung to Jacob, who chuckled. "They're just frogs, Bells. They can't bite you."

"I know, but they're slimy. I don't like them. They're creepy creatures, Jake."

He shook his head, and picking me up, cradled me in his arms to steer clear of any further froggy harassment.

Jacob was in a better mood after breakfast, and we took a tour of the Island. We visited Sleeping Giant, took a lazy boat ride down the Wailua River to Fern Grotto, watched Spouting Horn spray into the sky, and saw Waimea Canyon. We even got to snorkel at Hanapepe on the way back, but it was so windy that the water was murky and rough, so we didn't get to really see all that much. It was still a new experience for me though, and I felt safe having Jacob nearby.

I have to admit, I was glad to hide in the water after seeing him in his swim trunks. What would he think of me, ogling him? I'd never seen a guy so rock solid in my life, and I blushed at the view. I only got to see his back that night on our trip from La Push. Now he was standing before me giving me a chance to really scrutinize his body. My gosh he was gorgeous, sending those tingles to my toes again.

I also got a glimpse of his injured arm while we were still in our swim suits. The sight made me wince. As I ran my hand over the area, I asked, "Did it hurt much?"

"It hurt like hell when it first caught on fire, but you learn to focus on the task at hand and disconnect yourself from the pain."

I kissed the traces of the burn. "Oh, Jake," I lamented.

"Hey, it's okay. It doesn't hurt anymore."

"I don't want you _hurting _ever."

"That makes two of us."

There were cabanas close to the hotel there, so we got out of our wet bathing suits and into our dry clothes. As we sauntered along the beach, it began to drizzle; then it came down in buckets. Jacob pulled me as we ran laughing, up a hill, to a gazebo to get out of the rain. The dirt floor of the structure was already squishy with mud. I swept my sopping hair out of my eyes, and tried to catch my breath. Jacob and I sat on one of the benches lining the latticed walls. All of a sudden, he turned to me, looking serious. With his hands on my shoulders, he drew me closer, and sweetly kissed me.

My knees felt weak, as I gazed into those warm brown eyes. The water was dripping off the tendrils of his black hair onto his forehead, and landing in tiny droplets onto his long, dark eyelashes. Oh my gosh, I could deny him nothing at this moment. My heart started to pound away, and my breath was now caught somewhere on the way up to my throat.

He took both of my hands in his. "Bells ... You love me, don't you?"

I nodded. "Yes, I do. You _know_ I do."

Looking away for a second, he exhaled sharply. "I love you so much, that it actually hurts. I've loved you since that first day I spotted you at Dyess. And even tho' you didn't return my feelings for such a long time, I still loved you. There will never be another girl for me. It's you, and it'll always _be_ you."

Jacob lifted one of my hands, placing it over his heart. "Can you feel how my heart is racing? I swear, sometimes I feel like it's gonna jump right outta my chest."

Another long sigh escaped from his lips. "Remember that day when Leah put me on the spot, and I told you that the timing had to be right? Well, I don't know why, but I just feel that now, this very minute, is the right time."

He fell on one knee oblivious to the sloshy muck below him.

"Jacob, get up, you're going to be covered in mud."

His jaw was set in determination. "I don't care if I'm swallowed up in it. I'm gonna do this right."

His hand reached in his pocket, and he pulled out a small velvet box. He removed a ring, and holding it in his fingers, said, "Isabella Marie Swan ... I don't want to live without your love. I just can't. It would be unbearable. So, can you find it in your heart to put me out of my misery and say you'll marry me ... please?"

Those puppy dog eyes had me beaten, and I surrendered. I could barely speak. My answer came out as a whisper. "Yes, Jacob, yes."

He slipped the ring on my finger. It was a beautiful gold braided band with a diamond solitaire.

"Oh, Jake. It's beautiful. I love it."

"You're not just sayin' that?"

"No, it's perfect."

"Do I get another kiss, then?"

"Absolutely, but only if you get up out of that mud."

Dripping wet, we wound around each other, kissing and hugging as tightly as possible. I looked about my surroundings, and even though we were standing on soggy ground and the downpour was making an awful clamor outside, it was the most romantic proposal ever, and I had my Jacob to thank for it.

* * *

We returned to our hotel to get clean and dry after the rain finally let up. Then we went over to downtown Lihue to check out the shops. Jacob bought me a puka shell necklace, a white feathered hair barrette that he insisted on ''cuz it was so pretty', and a bottle of Wicked Wahine.

"You trying to tell me something, mister?"

"Well, yes and no. Every time you dab some behind your ears, it'll remind you of Hawaii—and me." He wiggled his eyebrows, and a smirk formed on his lips.

I clasped my hands behind his neck. "You are too smooth, Black."

"Hey—honesty is the best policy."

Continuing on our journey to souvenir collecting, I got Jacob a boar's tusk on a black leather cord. Gosh, there were so many jewelry outlets, but one in particular caught my eye. In one of the windows on display, was a set of wedding bands, in the same exact style as my engagement ring.

My guy was in awe of some of the spears and hunting knifes in the adjoining booth. So to jostle him out of his stupor, I yanked him by the arm, and pointed to the window. "Jake, c'mere and look at this."

"Hey, there they are—our wedding rings. It's kismet, I'm tellin' ya."

Jacob purchased the two bands, even though I thought they were a little overpriced. I guess I must've frowned, because, handing me the bag with our treasure, he told me, "Don't look at me like that. It's my money. We might not ever find another set like this one. And anyway, you only get married once—I hope. Besides, every time you look at that ring, it'll remind you of Hawaii and—yours truly."

"You already said that, silly."

Blatantly winking at me, he teased, "I know, but it bears repeating."

* * *

Kalapaki Beach was calling to us after lunch, so while Jacob dashed off to play in the waves, I threw down some towels, and lay on the sand. He returned to our spot, and shook his mane out like a puppy that came in from the rain, just to get a rise out of me. I sat up and screamed in surprise, only to be answered by his throaty laugh. Jacob picked up his towel, folded it and placed his _pillow_ on my lap. Stretching out with his head resting on the towel, he closed his eyes, contented.

"Mmn ..." he moaned, as I raked my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. "That feels so good."

We sat like that for a good half hour, then Jacob sprang up to a sitting position. "Hey, you need more sun screen, honey. I don't want you to burn up."

"I put some on right before you came out of the water. You can lie back down, I'll be fine."

"Nah, I need to talk to you about something anyway."

Uh-oh, I guess it's _later_. What was on his mind this morning? "Oooookay ..."

He pushed in closer, our legs and hips touching. "You know, they do have a wedding chapel on the hotel grounds. And I was thinkin', we already have the rings, so why not get married here?"

I gasped. "You mean today?"

"Sure, sure. Think about it, Bells. It's April the fourth—an easy date to remember. I could never forget our anniversary."

His head leaned toward me, and with one finger, lifted my chin, so he could gaze in my eyes. "Would it upset you too much ... I mean ... not to have a big wedding?"

"No, not at all. I'd just as soon, run off to the justice of the peace. But it's my parents. What will they think?"

"They'll think that you're twenty-one years old, and can make your own decisions. If you want, we can have a reception in Tempe, and another in La Push. I'm sure your dad won't mind, he knew all about my plans to propose, and gave me his consent. So, we _upped_ the date a bit—big freakin' deal."

"I don't understand why you're in such a rush. What brought all this on anyway?"

Up on his knees, now, he spouted, "What is it you don't understand? I'm in love you, sweetheart, and this is great place for a honeymoon."

_Honeymoon? Doesn't that like, require some serious hot lovemaking?_ "Wait a minute. I thought you said we had to wait; that you'd lose focus and all that."

"You're right, that _is_ what I told you, and I really did think that, but I couldn't get you outta my head anyway. Mac talked to me about it, and set me straight."

"So is this what had you all tied up in knots this morning?"

"That was part of it ..."

"Part of it?"

Jacob lowered his head and hesitated, then he looked back up at me. "The truth is, I hadn't planned on a wedding, just the proposal, but after that stunt you pulled last night ..."

"Hold on, what stunt? What are you talking about?"

"Honey, when you were flat on the ground, whispering in my ear, I almost lost it. That delicious body of yours pressed up against me would make a sinner out of any saint. You have no idea how close I came to taking you then and there. If that couple hadn't shown up when they did, we'd be hauled off to the clink for lewd and lascivious behavior."

"I'm—"

He put his palm out to stop me. "Please ... let me finish. Then, you took that nightie out of the drawer. It nearly gave me a heart attack. But, no, that wasn't all, you leaned over to get your panties, and I got an eyeful of happy valley between twin peaks. Why do you think I had to jump in the shower so fast? And why did you have to wear that thing last night? I couldn't sleep, just imagining you in it—but mostly out of it!

"When I finally did get to sleep, I woke to find you curled up, with your soft breasts shoved into my back and your legs tangled up with mine. The last straw was seeing you lying in plain sight with that little bit of black lace barely covering you.

"Bells, I'm sorry. We can't be in that bed together, unless you're willing to let me make love to you. I can't take it any more. I realize that you've had one hell of a rotten history with sex, and I haven't had any history at all. That makes us even. So, whaddya think?"

"I think I owe you an apology. I wore that nightie in the hopes that you changed your mind about abstaining, but when you went to get showered, I fell asleep. I'm so sorry, Jake. I didn't know you were in such misery."

"You still haven't answered my question. Will you come with me to the chapel?"

"For the second time today, yes."

* * *

Jacob was like a speeding bullet, getting ready for his initiation into matrimony. And here I thought guys weren't so hot to get married.

The poor guy had to wait patiently for me to get finished. At one point, I peeked out of the bathroom, and saw him sitting on the bed, his knee nervously bouncing in anticipation. I hated making him wait so long, but I wanted to look really nice for him.

He stood, startled when I finally exited the bathroom, his eyes about ready to pop out of his head. He'd never seen me in a dress, except at Encampment two and a half years ago. It seemed more than coincidental that the dress I brought with me was white chiffon. Jacob walked toward me, and as he enfolded me in his arms, sputtered, "You. Look. Amazing! Hooh boy, how'd I get so lucky?

"Hey, there's one thing missing." He then inserted the feathered hair ornament on the left side of my head, and I actually felt like a blushing bride.

The hotel shuttle took us to the chapel. We didn't have to wait long. There was only one couple ahead of us. Most of the weddings had taken place this morning, I guess.

The interior of the place was simple and serene. As we sat watching the inner door for the other couple, I jabbed Jacob in the ribs. "It's not too late. You can still back out."

"Not a chance, lady. I've got you right where I want you."

Something suddenly occurred to me. "Oh crap, we forgot the camera."

The receptionist heard us. "Don't worry, we have a photographer here. "He'll take a few pictures for you. It's part of the wedding package."

She reached under the desk. "Oh, and here's a spray of Pikake."

She moved toward us, placing it in my hands. Looking down at the blossoms, she explained, "That's the traditional Hawaiian wedding flower. Doesn't it smell wonderful?"

"Mmn, yes."

I offered Jacob a whiff, and he agreed.

* * *

The ceremony was short, and to the point just like my Jacob. Surprisingly, I was totally composed until Jacob, with tears in his eyes and trembling fingers, placed the golden circle on my left hand. That's when I lost it, and started to cry. The photographer handed me a tissue, _So you can look pretty in your photos_, he said.

Jacob had a smile that stretched clear to Oahu when I set the ring on his finger. After the officiator pronounced us man and wife, our personal picture taker clicked away, and promised to bring the proofs to the hotel in three days' time.

The shuttle arrived to take us to the Kauai Surf parking area, where we picked up the car and went out for dinner at the Tide Pools. The restaurant was gorgeous, but Jacob and I had a hard time tearing our eyes away from each other. I was sitting with the most handsome guy on the island ... and he was all mine!


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: The Longest Day

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

My sleeping siren, woke up. I didn't realize it 'til I heard the bedding rustle behind me. I'd been standing there with my back to her so my ever-churning hormones wouldn't erupt at the sight of her. I chanced a glimpse, and was greatly relieved to see that her alluring parts were now covered up by the sheet. She was stretching and yawning, and asked me the million dollar question, "Did you sleep okay?"

I answered as honestly as I could without hurting her feelings, but the girl was clueless. Bella thought she had a solution to my insomnia. She figured that as long as she slept on the couch, things would be just hunkie-dorie. Was she kiddin' me? Nothing would be the same after last night. The flames were lickin' about my groin, and she was the ever-lovin' fire extinguisher. I was dyin' to have her, naked and in bed with me.

While she got ready for a day of sightseeing, I waited in the hallway, pacing up and down. I was still simmering under the surface, but finally gained control again when we got to the first floor. There were bugs galore creeping about and an army of frogs chasing after them. One had a close encounter with my honey, and she screamed bloody murder, practically climbing all over me to escape the slippery little cuz. I was surprised she didn't yell, _Leaping Lizards!_ Okay, so technically, they're amphibians, but you get the gist of it.

To rescue her from the green monsters, I lifted her bodily and carried her 'til we were safe outside the frog zone. The rest of the way to Kukui's, she walked on her own two feet.

It didn't take long to travel around the island. We saw Sleeping Giant, a small hill that actually resembled its namesake. From there we traveled down the Wailua River on a boat tour to Fern Grotto. It was so green there with all these ferns cascading over the mouth of the cavern, and the acoustics were awesome. Then, on to Spouting Horn, which we discovered was a lava formation beneath the ocean, with a hole in it. When the waves came rushin' in beneath it, the water would shoot through the hole and spout like a geyser.

While we were there, Bella noticed a funny shaped conifer. I'm pretty sure it was a Norfolk pine. She innocently asked me, "What kind of a tree is that?"

Before I could answer, a Hawaiian lady behind us, replied sarcastically, "It's a Christmas tree."

We couldn't leave without seeing one of the more peculiar tourist attractions. Kauai actually has a mini Grand Canyon on the leeward side of the Island, called Waimea Canyon. I was impressed, Bella not so much. She dissed it, royally.

Trying to reason with her, I said, "Oh, c'mon, Bells. It's nature at its best."

Her face was a block of stone. "Have you ever seen the Grand Canyon?"

"No, but—"

"You ain't seen nothin' until you've experienced the Grand Canyon. Someday, I'll take you there."

Speaking of nature at its best, Bella and I tried our hand at snorkeling at Hanapepe, and hooh boy, seeing her in a bathing suit nearly put my eyes out. Yowsa!

We were sadly disappointed, 'cuz, the sea was really choppy that day, churning up the sand from the bottom. Bella kept getting water in her mask to boot, so we didn't get to see many ocean creatures. I had fun tho', gazing at Bella in that polka dotted bathing suit. She, on the other hand had a sobering experience, checking out the marks left on my arm by the flaming Bradley, but—not before I saw her blush the first time she beheld me, bare-chested. I thought the poor girl was gonna faint dead away. Sweee-eeet!

After drying off in the nearby cabanas, we took a long walk by the shore. A few raindrops fell, then a lot of raindrops, and finally a torrent. I spotted a gazebo up on a hill, and we ran breathlessly to duck in out of the rain. The little trellised structure didn't offer much shelter from the downpour, in fact, it was pouring in from one side and there was now a ton of mud sucking at our feet.

A row of wooden benches lined each wall, so we sat on the opposite side to avoid getting pelted by the storm. My girl and I were drenched, and yet, I watched with awe as she smoothed her dripping hair away from her face. Her lips were pink and wet, and begging to be kissed. I couldn't help myself. She was a mermaid, all glistening and beautiful. That's when I got the idea.

It wasn't romantic, or under a moonlit sky. The only music was the rhythm of the rain beating against the roof, and the wind whistling outside. Yet I felt it was perfect, I didn't even know why. I only knew that I couldn't go another day without making her mine. The ache in my heart spurred me on and I turned to her, captured by the glimmer in those chocolate eyes. I took her gently by the shoulders, wanting her close to me. Her lips parted in anticipation, and I didn't disappoint her, but let my mouth move fluidly with hers.

I felt the ring in my pocket, thinkin' if I get choked up now, or misty eyed, she'd never know, since the droplets of rain were still trickling down my face. So I surged ahead, and bringing her hand to my chest let her feel my body's reaction to just being with her. Words could always deceive, but the beating of my heart was living proof—the truth of my love for her.

The tiny velvet box found its way to my palm, and slipping the ring out of the case, I held it up for her to see. Telling her exactly how I felt, I then dropped into the mud on bended knee, and asked the question that would forever change my life, "Isabella Marie Swan ... I don't want to live without your love. It would be unbearable. So, can you find it in your heart to put me out of my misery and say you'll marry me ... please?"

Her response wasn't exactly unexpected, but nonetheless, it filled my soul with such joy, I could barely contain it. With the gold band in place on her finger, I squeezed her tight. It was a wonder she could breathe, and my kisses stole what little breath she had left.

When the rain abated, we returned to our room for some more dry clothes.

Thinkin' that we needed some souvenirs, and not wanting to wait 'til the last freakin' minute, we drove down to Grove Center. Bella picked out a few items, and I bought her a bottle of Wicked Wahine, so she'd think of Hawaii and me every time she wore it. It didn't hurt that the fragrance nearly sent me into orbit either. Never underestimate the power of perfume. Hooh boy, was I ever convinced.

There was so much to look at, and I was entranced by a shop that sold hunting knives, sheaths and spears that were to die for. Actually, you _could_ die, 'cuz the prices would kill you. While I stood there slack-jawed drooling over the knives, Bella started pulling on my arm. "Jake, c'mere and look at this."

Holy ...! In the shop next door, in the window, sat our wedding rings. No kiddin'. I didn't care how much they cost, but Bella chafed a little over the price tag. I figured it'd be worth it in the long run. I cheekily told her that any glance at that tiny circle of gold would remind her of our trip to Hawaii—and, yup, you guessed it—me again.

* * *

That afternoon, while lying on the beach with my head in her lap, I got up the nerve to tell her what had been on my mind that morning. She was resistant to the idea of getting married on this day, but I convinced her otherwise, especially when I told her I couldn't stand another minute remaining celibate. Finally the solution to my problem was at hand. Worried about what her parents would say, she balked a little. But I was sure that Charlie wouldn't mind at all. She'd be my wife and he'd already given me his blessing.

Getting cleaned up was a race, at least for me. I wanted to get to the chapel as soon as possible. Bella took a little longer than usual, puttin' on makeup and fixing her hair special for me. My nerves were starting to show, and I couldn't keep my leg from bouncing in expectation.

Hooh boy, when she walked out of the bathroom, I nearly swallowed my tongue. She was decked out in a white filmy dress—I think it was made outta the same kind of fabric that she wore all those years ago. She looked like an otherworldly being; my own personal angel.

Bella didn't have a white scarf or hat to wear, so I clipped the feather ornament in her hair. She blushed a perfect shade of crimson as she lifted her eyes to mine. My eyeballs were definitely ambushed for the second time. Jeez, my girl was so beautiful that I nearly forgot to breathe.

* * *

The little chapel on the premises seemed somehow right to me, straightforward and honest, not doodaded up like those big freakin' weddings that celebrities have. The idea was to pledge your love to someone, not make a circus out of the ceremony. What difference did it make how much money you spent on it? What really mattered was how long your marriage lasted, and I was certain ours would last for eternity.

My nerves had settled down a bit; at least I thought so, 'til I got ready to slide the ring on her finger. My hands were shaking so bad, I was afraid I would drop it. I could barely see either, as my eyes were misted up. Then Bella followed suit. She wasn't as adept at holding back the tears, and the resident photographer had to hand her some tissue so the photos would turn out okay.

Mine—she was mine. I was so happy I wanted to cry with her. Instead, I allowed a smile to cross my face, and then I kissed my bride.

Speakin' of the photographer ... he had his work cut out for him, 'cuz, after the _I do's_, we couldn't stop lookin' at each other. The poor guy had to keep prompting Bella and me to _look_ at the camera. He did not however, have to coax a smile out of either one of us. We both grinned so big we could've lit up the whole island.

* * *

We went out to the Tide Pools for dinner. The place was really romantic, and elegantly decorated in Hawaiian style. I don't know about Bella, but I couldn't tell you what we ate. The two of us were busy gazing at each other, deep in a love haze, oblivious to the food sitting in front of us.

The restaurant was situated beside a lagoon, the lights from inside and the lush grounds reflected in the dark water. We strolled around it, listening to the music of the band playing and saturating our senses with its opulence. The place was a paradise, in and of itself.

The temperature was cool, and the plumeria infused the air with its fragrance. I stopped for a moment to squeeze my new bride. I kissed her neck and caught a whiff of another scent. She'd applied the perfume I bought her to the area behind her ears, just enough to entice me.

As we continued our walk, Bella said, "Thank you, Jake—for everything—for bringing me here to the Islands, for this day, for loving me, for being you."

"And thank you ... for coming to La Push ... and for marrying me."

"The pleasure's all mine."

_I hope it will be, _I thought, while I tenderly kissed her.

* * *

When we got inside the car, Bella took off both of her high heels. "Holy cow, my feet are killing me!" she groaned.

"Give 'em here; I'll rub them for you."

"Would you?"

I winked. "Would I lie to you?"

She planted her tired feet on my lap, and I proceeded to massage them amid her moans of pleasure. I about came unglued, listening to her, so I quit while I was ahead.

We drove back to the Kauaii Surf. There weren't as many frogs lining the ground floor this time, but it didn't matter much anyway, 'cuz I was carrying my shoeless bride, up to our honeymoon suite. This had been the longest day of my life, but I hoped the night would be just as long, for obvious reasons.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: Sweet Surrender

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

Bella was light as a feather in my arms. I held her close, grinning as I waited by the elevator. The other guests winked and smiled knowingly as I stepped into it. Bella buried her head into my shoulder, her face a sheet of R.E.D., I'm sure.

"Put me down," she whispered, in embarrassment.

"What's that, Mrs. Black? I didn't hear you."

There was some tittering from the other people. When we got off on our floor, there were a few people clapping, and wishing us well. Poor Bella was mortified.

Walking unabashedly toward our room, I bent down and unlocked the door with the plastic card, Bella still held tightly in my grasp. The suite now seemed different somehow, a place of comfort and love; a perfect place for our honeymoon.

I kicked the door shut behind me, and took a few steps forward, then lowered my sweetheart to the floor. Bella tossed her high heels by the bed, and stood there looking totally adorable in her bare feet. She looked up at me and timidly inquired, "Can I brush my teeth first?"

"Sure, sure. I'll even join you."

Removing my jacket, I hung it up in the closet, not wanting to get toothpaste on it. In the next instant, Bella and I were busy freshening up our choppers.

With that task out of the way, I questioned my sweet bride on the way into the room, "You nervous?"

"Just a little."

I touched her cheek. "Don't be. I love you, Bella. It'll be okay. I won't ever hurt you; I promise."

A few steps away from one of the chairs, I gestured toward my necktie. "Will you unknot this tie for me, please?"

Bella came closer, her little hands working the knot loose. "You looked really sharp tonight, Jake. You were the handsomest man in the restaurant."

"And you, the most beautiful woman."

The tie came undone, and she slipped it from my neck. "Where do you want this?"

I couldn't have cared less. My focus was still trained on her. "Anywhere ... I don't care."

I took the silk tie from her hand and slung it onto the nearby chair, lifting her hand to my mouth in the process. My head lowered as I looked down at my shirt. "How 'bout these buttons?"

My heart was pounding faster and faster, as she nimbly pushed each plastic disc through the tiny openings, freeing me from the shirt. That too found a spot on the seat.

The tee, I pulled up and over my head, on my own. When it cleared past my eyes, I noticed Bella exhaling deeply, with her cheeks all flushed—with excitement, I hoped.

I unbuckled and dropped my belt on the carpet. It was her turn to disrobe, and hooh boy, I wanted to strip the clothes right off of her, but instead, took a breath to calm myself, and said, "Now, can I help you with your dress?"

Bella nodded, and turned, her back facing me, holding her hair up, away from her neck. I felt her body tremble as I tugged gently on the zipper pull. Grabbing the dress as it fell from her; I folded it over the top of the same chair, being careful not to wrinkle the fabric.

She stood there, awkwardly, in her bra and panties, with a half smile on her lips. I guess she was still a bit anxious. Truth be told, I was anxious too. I loved her so much, and wanted this to be the best experience of her life. But, with one hand covering her abdomen, she looked at me sorrowfully. Something was not right.

"What is it, honey?"

"Um ... I didn't get to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"I've had a baby, Jake. That changes your body. I've ... I've got these horrible stretch marks ..."

I sighed with relief. If she thought a few stretch marks would make any difference ... In her own words, _It would only make me love you more_. "Is that all? Do you really think that matters to me? I've got a few scars myself. It doesn't change who you are. It's the inside that counts. C'mere girl."

I pulled her to me quickly, in a comforting hug, and murmured in her ear, "I love all of you—your nose, your eyes, your voice, your hair, even that brain of yours. I count myself lucky to have you. And I can barely believe it—you're really mine ... Mrs Bella Black, my wife. God, I love the sound of that."

I rattled on, wanting her to know that this was not just a booty call to me. I wanted, and needed her by my side 'til my dying breath.

Looking deep into her eyes, I continued to tell her how much she meant to me. "There's one more thing I need you to know, before I make you mine. I've never wanted or been with another woman. You'll be my very first, and my very last. I can never love another, the way I love you. My heart totally aches for you, Bells. And in my eyes, you are the most beautiful woman in existence. Believe it, 'cuz, god help me, but it's true."

Drawing away a few inches, I told her, "Remember what the JP had me repeat? _I worship you_ _with my body_. Well, I want you to be ready, and not be afraid; this is a gift we're giving to each other." I placed her hands on the top button of my trousers. "I want to love you tonight with my heart, with my soul and with my whole body. So, I'd like you to unwrap your gift, sweetheart."

Bella undid the fastener, and slid the zipper down. The trousers got kicked aside as I stepped out of them. "Just relax now, and enjoy the ride. Don't forget, I _am_ a pilot." Then, I winked at her and smiled, but the smile faded as my emotions got the better of me, and I melted, gazing into her chocolate eyes. I felt like I would burst with all these feelings welling up inside of me. I crushed her to my chest, hungrily fitting my mouth to hers.

She turned her head away from me for a moment. "What do you need me to do?"

"Love me, Bella. I need you to love me ... please ... Pretend we're still on the beach, like last night. Just let yourself go; you've gotta trust me, sweetheart."

Plunging my hands into her hair, I kissed her more voraciously this time. With my eyes closed, I roamed my hands over every square inch of her, letting the sensation seep into my very pores. Her skin was so smooth; I could glide my fingers over it all night long. I unclasped her bra, removing it, and luxuriated in the feel of her warm breasts, then slid off her panties, all the while my lips never stopped tangling with hers. She began making little whimpering noises in the back of her throat, and soon was joining me in a tidal wave of passion. Her wicked tongue waged a war with mine, and before I could stop myself, I had her hitched up along my torso, her legs encircling my waist.

The scent of her perfume catapulted me over the edge; there was no stopping me now. One handed, I yanked off my briefs, then stepped into her, pushing us both forward to the bed. I stood next to the edge of the mattress while she released her hold on my middle. Then she got up on her knees to reach me, catching the roots of my hair in her fist and lowering my head, so our lips would align more easily.

I broke the kiss and scooted onto the bed, getting behind her. I pulled her in closer, drawing her against me, and with her back flush to my chest, I now had my fingers free to stroke her in the one place she needed my touch. Her head lolled back into my shoulder as she murmured, "My god, Jake. What are you doing to me?"

I breathlessly answered, "I'm getting you ready, Bells. When you get to the point when you think you can't stand it anymore, let me know."

It didn't take long before her moans got louder. "Jake ... please," she whimpered. I reached into the drawer of the nightstand to get the Astroglide and a condom, shoving them under my pillow. Pulling her toward me now, I settled her beneath me, nudging her thighs apart gently with my knee, and applied some of the lubricant to her. Truthfully, I didn't think she actually needed any, by the feel of things, but I wanted to be on the safe side. I'd die if I hurt her while attempting to share my love.

My hands were a little slick, so I quickly handed her the condom to open, only to hear her reply, "I've had the shot."

Hooh boy, I'd only barely entered her soft, warm body, and with a few, slow thrusts she let loose with a passionate scream. My name was pouring from her lips, her fingers digging into my shoulders, as she arched deliciously into me. I stopped—kissing her face as the tears streamed down her cheeks. "I love you, Bella," I whispered, nearly choking with an overwhelming feeling of tenderness, and pride. I had shared my body with her, giving her a taste of sexual pleasure. She was no longer a scared little _pseudo virgin_, but a full-fledged woman, and I was her man.

I continued filling her again and again 'til I felt the tension building up to my own climax, then I stopped again.

"What is it?" she questioned.

Panting, I explained, "I waited so long to make love to you. I don't want to finish too soon."

A couple of deep breaths helped a bit, but I didn't move, trying to stay as still as possible ... for as long as possible.

With her hands wrapped around my neck, she pressed her cheek against mine. But then she got me going again with that naughty tongue of hers, and I was a goner. I sped up once more, and was finally rewarded by the most intense feeling of pleasure that I had ever experienced in my entire life.

I felt my heart bubbling with happiness. Kissing her face over and over, I rolled to the side, bringing her with me. I stroked her hair, talking to her softly. "You okay?"

"Yes, but ..."

Uh-oh. "But what? You liked what I did to you—I'm sure of it."

She colored, and confessed, "I loved it, but I'm ashamed that I screamed like a mad woman, but that feeling was such a shock. I'm so embarrassed."

"I'm _not_ sorry. I needed to hear that scream. It was an answer to my prayers. And anyway, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Believe me, that was _supposed_ to happen."

I brazenly smirked at her. "You want me to make you scream like that again? It's our honeymoon, and I am _more_ than willing."

"All right ... I mean ... I don't want to tire you out though."

I laughed. "Promises, promises ..."

* * *

After our second endeavor, Bella snuggled into me, our noses touching.

"Hey, Bells ..."

"Yeah?"

"Don't let me go to sleep, huh."

She took one fingertip, stroking it along my shoulder, making me shudder once more. How did she do that to me? "Why not?"

"This is the best night of my life, and I don't want it to end."

"You can't stay up all night."

I propped my head up with one elbow. "I don't wanna waste a minute sleeping, when I can be lookin' at my angel right here in this very bed."

"Jake, we're married now. I'll _always_ be with you." She was threading her fingers through my hair, and I was coming unglued again. My god, how I loved this woman!

I really did try my best to keep my eyes open, and Bella was no help at all. She was curled up like a kitten, with her head on my chest, and so I kissed the top of her hair and succumbed to sleep. _Goodnight, Mrs. Black. Sweet dreams ..._

* * *

Waking up with an angel in my arms was _heavenly._ It was gonna be rough, sleeping by myself when I returned to that godforsaken country of Iraq. I tried to shake that depressing thought outta my brain in a hurry. Nothing was gonna ruin this guy's honeymoon. I wondered if she'd get mad if I asked her to stay naked in bed with me this whole day. But, no, that would seem so selfish of me—unless she really _wanted_ to. I smiled inwardly at that thought.

I'd been to the Islands before, and Bella hadn't. She was excited to be here, and I was excited to be with her—here on Kauai. We'd actually seen most of the sights, so today, we could just relax on the beach while the sun shone, and make time in our honeymoon _honeyroom, _when night fell. Tomorrow, I'd take her to Waipahee Slide.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Two Tickets to Paradise

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

The _grinds_ at the Tide Pools weres _onolicious _as the Islanders would say, but I would have enjoyed the gastronomical bonanza more if I hadn't been seated across from the most gorgeous man in the room. It was all I could do to get the food in my mouth. Some of the female patrons were just as distracted by my masculine hunk. I saw the furtive glances that some of the woman shot at him, and I made sure that my wedding band was in plain sight to let them know he was taken. _Mine, people ... mine!_

The grounds there were beautiful, with a dark lagoon circled by lush vegetation. The flowers exuded a pungent fragrance that was intoxicating, and the cool breeze fanned against us at just the right temperature. Jacob and I sauntered along the edge of the water, quietly listening to the strains of the Hawaiian music coming from the restaurant.

It'd been a long day, but I stopped to tell Jacob, "Thank you, Jake—for everything—for bringing me here to the Islands, for this day, for loving me, for being you."

He expressed his gratitude to me also. "And thank you ... for coming to La Push ... and rescuing me from a lifetime of loneliness ... and for marrying me."

We finished our tour, and returned to the car. My high heels were kicked off immediately, freeing my sore feet. They'd been abused long enough today. My sweet Jacob offered to rub them for me, and I took him up on that offer. Holy cow, the man had magic in those hands, and I couldn't hold back the moans of pleasure that escaped my lips. His eyes suddenly darkened with what I imagined was desire. He returned my feet to their rightful owner, and keyed up the ignition. _Was it something I moaned?_

* * *

Jacob literally bundled me up in his arms and carried me safely through Frog Haven, and up to the elevators. While we waited, a few other guests gathered there as well, smiling, making little comments, and giving Jacob a thumbs up. As the elevator rose, I turned my face into his chest to hide my embarrassment, and quietly asked him to put me down, to which he replied, "What's that, Mrs. Black? I didn't hear you."

Oh my gosh, now they were all going to realize where we were headed, and what we were going to be doing when we got there. The elevator chime sounded to let us know we had reached our floor; the other patrons whistled and clapped when we disembarked. Lucky for me, the rest of the cheerful passengers stayed on board, and there was nary a soul in the hallway as we reached the room.

After setting me down, we both went to brush our teeth. Nothing like bad breath to dampen the mood.

I jumped, hearing his voice as we walked out of the bathroom.

"You nervous," he asked.

"Just a little." I was actually more than a little nervous, but I hoped that when we were in the heat of things, that would change. Jacob was a big guy, and I hadn't been intimate with anyone now, for almost three years. Holy cow, I was nervous all right.

Jacob talked me down, reiterating that he loved me and could never hurt me. He asked me to loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt. He removed his own Tee, and I let out a breath trying to calm myself further. My butterflies were fluttering like a hurricane in my stomach and the heat began rising within me. I felt that I was losing control of myself; that he was steering me along, and I was following blindly. When his belt hit the floor, I didn't know whether to jump him right then, or run in the opposite direction.

Today I was his bride, so I turned around to let him unzip my dress. I swallowed hard, hoping he didn't hear that, but I couldn't stop my body from trembling. While he carefully folded my dress over the chair, I stood by in my undies, self conscious. I covered up the stretch marks on my abdomen so he wouldn't see them, feeling bad that I hadn't mentioned it before.

He wasn't shocked or repulsed at all. Holding me tight, my sweetheart let me know in no uncertain terms that he loved everything about me, just the way I was. His next words pierced my heart, and I could no longer resist.

"There's one more thing I need you to know, before I make you mine. I've never wanted or been with another woman. You'll be my very first, and my very last. I can never love another, the way I love you. My heart totally aches for you, Bells. And in my eyes, you are the most beautiful woman in existence. Believe it, 'cuz, god help me, but it's true."

Quoting the JP, Jacob then explained what a gift this was for each of us, and told me to unwrap my present. When his trousers finally fell away, and got kicked aside, he commented, "Just relax now, and enjoy the ride. Don't forget, I _am_ a pilot."

He winked at me and smiled after that remark, but his smile disappeared quickly, and a look of such longing took its place. All at once, I was imprisoned in his muscular arms, as he kissed my hair, my cheek, my neck, my mouth.

Even though I had experienced sex before, and had given birth to a child, I still wasn't sure what I should do to please him. So I asked him point blank, "What do you need me to do?"

His answer reduced me to a puddle of jelly. "Love me, Bella. I need you to love me ... please ... Pretend we're still on the beach, like last night. Just let yourself go; you've gotta trust me, sweetheart."

Oh my gosh, he got to me then, and as his lips crashed against mine, the hormones inside of me, for so long dormant, exploded. His hands were on me, gliding over my body, and I shuddered wildly as he peeled away my bra and panties. I couldn't get enough of him, and funny little sounds began to spring from somewhere deep inside of me. My fingers explored the rock hard planes of his chest and abdomen, fueling the fire in my core that was steadily increasing.

My tongue started dancing with his, and Jacob hurriedly hauled me up with his hands under my thighs, winding my legs around his waist. I could hear his heavy breathing, which spurred me on even more. The next thing I knew, his briefs were history, and he was walking us toward the bed.

At the edge of the mattress, I let go of his torso, and got up on my knees so I could reach his mouth. My hands were fisted around shoots of his beautiful dark hair, while I pulled his head down so I could continue kissing those full lips of his.

Jacob broke the kiss and I expected that he'd be lifting me, and laying me onto the bed. I was confused when he came around behind me. Was he going to enter me from the rear? He knelt, drawing me into his chest, and with his cheek resting next to mine, began slowly stroking the most excruciatingly sensitive spot on my body. Whoa, my head automatically rolled back onto his broad shoulder. Oh ... this feeling was incredible, and it kept getting more and more intense. I blurted, "My god, Jake. What are you doing to me?"

He was just as breathless as I was, when he answered, "I'm getting you ready, Bells. When you get to the point when you think you can't stand it anymore, let me know."

My moaning was getting more frequent and embarrassingly louder. At last, just like Jacob said, I couldn't stand it anymore, and pleaded with him, whimpering, "Jake... please ..."

With that, Jacob pulled me toward him, and laying me flat, slid his body on top of me. I was quivering in anticipation. He pulled a bottle of something out of the nightstand, and spreading my thighs, applied some of the gel on me. He handed me a condom to open for him, but I assured him, I had already gotten a shot to prevent conception.

He gently entered me, and it didn't take long for my whole body to quake in pure rapture. I arced into him and pressing my nails into the muscles of his shoulders, involuntarily let out a scream, with his name repeatedly falling from my lips. What in the world was that? I was in shock, but pleasantly so.

The shaking of my body finally stilled and tears began to run down my face. Jacob kissed away the drops, and with his voice cracking, murmured, "I love you, Bella."

The consummation of our marriage wasn't completed yet, as Jacob obviously hadn't finished. He continued on his pleasurable task, and then out of the blue, stopped.

Why didn't he keep going? Was something wrong? "What is it?" I questioned.

Still panting heavily, he explained, "I waited so long to make love to you. I don't want to finish too soon."

He inhaled deeply a few times, and stayed very still for a couple of minutes.

I gazed at his beloved face, and pressed my cheek to his. I couldn't help but kiss him one more time, and my tongue accidentally got involved again. Poor Jacob ... that got his motor running at top speed, and after several more thrusts, he couldn't hold back another second. He finally peaked, crying out in ecstasy. His cries were followed by a deluge of kisses all over my face.

With his arms around me, Jacob turned onto his side, taking me with him. Softly ruffling my hair, he said, "You okay?"

And I _was_ okay, more than okay. I was in seventh heaven, but I was also uncomfortable about screaming like that. It was humiliating. I tried telling that to Jacob, but it seemed he had a different reaction. Jacob loved it, and said that was supposed to happen. I guess it made him feel manly or something. Truthfully, though, if this was what sex was all about, then I wanted more of it. Jacob was in agreement with that thought.

"You want me to make you scream like that again? It's our honeymoon, and I am _more_ than willing."

God ... I couldn't wait. _Give me more of that, mister._ "All right ... I mean ... I don't want to tire you out though."

He laughed. "Promises, promises ..."

* * *

What a difference a good lover made. Jacob made my body sing; James made it cringe. When my guy touched me tonight, it set me on fire. I could see now, why sex never appealed to me before. James was always in a hurry, and he literally rubbed me the wrong way, rough, fast, and furious, chafing me, not giving me any pleasure at all. I could never leave my Jacob now. He made me a woman.

James used to always say I was a frigid little bitch, in reality; I was a hot tomato, red and ripe. He just didn't know how to cultivate my vine.

I lay next to Jacob, warm and sated, limp and relaxed, after our second go round. I couldn't be any happier—well maybe if his tour was over ... Sleep was nearly overtaking me, when Jacob piped up, "Hey, Bells ..."

"Yeah?"

"Don't let me go to sleep, huh."

Whaaat? I thought guys always fell asleep after a nice rousing bout of sex. He wanted to stay awake all night so he could look at me, and touch me, which was sweet of him, but he needed the rest as much as I did.

Running my fingers through his hair, I promised, "Jake, we're married now. I'll _always_ be with you."

I wouldn't be very good at guard duty, because I was out like a light once my head rested on Jacob's chest. I felt his lips on the top of my head as I drifted off. Gosh, but this honeymooning was going to be fun.

* * *

I woke up in the arms of the sexiest man alive. One look into those dark bedroom eyes, and I was nearly undone again—so soon too. We both got up, and shamelessly showered together to start the day. Breakfast was at the hotel café, and we spent the rest of the morning and afternoon lounging around the beach—and the rest of the night kissing and hugging and honeymooning some more.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Slippin' and a' Slidin'

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

JPOV:

I could've just kissed the staff here, for booking the two-bed rooms to the other suckers, 'cuz it turned out great for me. Worked out pretty well for Bella too; she was still singing, and actin' all lovey-dovey this morning. Hooh boy, was I ever glad that initial love connection was over tho'. Until I heard that glorious scream, I worried that my attempt at bringing her onto her sexual apogee might have failed. I would've been crushed if that happened. I should thank Dale when I get back to base, for all his tutoring on the finer art of lovemaking.

Anyway, this was a lazy day for hangin' around the beach, drinkin' virgin Mai Tai's, and canoodlin' under an umbrella. It was nice to have Bella snuggled up to me without being so reserved, and touching me whenever she felt like it. And she touched me a lot—brushing her hands along my chest and shoulders, and combing her fingers all through my hair ... I loved it, and was really gonna miss this when I went back.

I still remembered how stand offish she was at first; never letting her feelings show, but all that was a thing of the past. It made me glad 'cuz I was always an affectionate guy, and I needed that reciprocated. I needed the feeling of being loved. I realized that Bella had truly loved me before, but it showed in her every action now, including this evening, when she came out of the bathroom ready for some serious honeymoonin' in her black lace nightie.

I was already naked under the covers, waiting for my little chickadee.

I gave a loud wolf whistle as she padded closer. "Oh man, that nightie is gonna kill me. And it almost _did_ that other night. You look so sexy in it ... now—let me see you take it off!"

"Jacob Black!" she chastised me.

"Whaaaat?"

Her eyebrow quirked and she tossed her head all sassy-like. "You going to make me?"

I gave her my most dangerous, seductive look and drew aside the sheet that was covering me. Her eyes widened, as she got a gander at my manhood, all primed and ready for action, and yanking the lacey fabric up over her head, slung it toward me. I caught it one handed. Next came the matching panties. "Ooooookay! You asked for it," she squealed.

"Well, girlie, come and get it then," I teased, as she pounced on top of me, pulling the sheet up around the two of us. Needless to say, we both slept after a satisfying encounter, with smiles on our faces.

* * *

Waipahee Slide was out in the boonies. There were no signs along the way either. We just happened upon a couple that knew how to get there, and they graciously led us to the trail head. The path was closed in on both sides with thick vegetation. The floor of the jungle was littered with smashed, over-ripe guava and passion fruit, and there were gnats and flies galore. It was a sunny day, which made it sticky and hot in the humid atmosphere.

The slide was three miles from Kapaa on foot. I was used to marching—Bella, not so much. But I came prepared, with water, hat, sunglasses, and my sturdy shoulders. About a mile before we reached our destination, Bella pooped out, so I hoisted her on said shoulders and hoofed it with her perched up there the rest of the way.

Waipahee was a lava tube that had been worn away, so that only the bottom half remained, and the fresh water stream cascaded down it for about fifty feet, forming a perfect slippery water slide, somewhat like a sluice. Just eyeballing the place, I knew this was gonna be a blast, and I was ecstatic.

I crouched, allowing my honey to get down off my shoulders, and excitedly exclaimed, "C'mon, girl, let's get to slippin' and a-slidin'. She looked at me like I had lost my ever-lovin' mind.

"Are you crazy? I'm not getting on that—that—thing!"

"Bells ... we walked three miles to get here, and you're not gonna take the plunge? Where's your sense of adventure?"

"I told you before—board games and paper dolls."

I playfully tugged on her arm, but the little minx, stubbornly held her ground. Okay, that didn't work, so I tried plan B ... the pout. With my bottom lip protruding, I whined, "Jeez, I guess I'll havta go by myself. You're gonna miss out on all the fun."

Her hand went to her hip, and she shifted her weight onto the opposite leg. "I've had about as much fun as I can handle up until now."

"You sure you don't wanna come with me?"

"I'm sure. You go on and have your ... fun."

Handing her my water bottle, I said, "Stay here, then. I'll be back in a few."

I hated to leave her, but there was no way I was gonna pass up a chance like this. I trotted over to the lava shoot, and trailed behind a group of people all in single file. It was almost like being at Disneyland, only this wasn't a man-made ride. _But this is definitely a ride made for a man._

The line moved swiftly, and soon I was sitting at the top of the slide, eager to plow down to the reservoir beneath. Yelling _Geronimo,_ and a few choice Quiliute phrases, I pushed off, whooping all the way down. I splash landed into the pooled water and swam toward the rock lined edge. What a rush. It was on par with the cliff diving at First Beach.

Sprinting back to my girl, I once more tried my hand at convincing her to join me. "You gotta try it, Bells. It was awesome."

"I'm scared."

"What's there to be scared of? It's only water. Look ... I'll go down the shoot with you. All you need to do is sit behind me, and wrap your arms around my waist. You won't even havta see the pond below. You'll be safe, I promise. I'm a strong swimmer. I won't let anything happen to you."

She looked down at the greenery beneath her feet, and sighed.

"I heard that."

I lifted her chin. "Just once ... for me. You'll never have to do it again, okay? Live a little. It's our honeymoon."

"Shh, those guys over there can hear you."

In a fake British accent, I remarked, "I feel a booming voice attempting to escape my esophagus."

"Jacob, please don't."

"Okay on one condition—you get on that slide with me. C'mon ... pleeeeaaase!"

"Oh, all right. Holy cow, you've certainly gotten bossy since the wedding," she complained.

* * *

As we got to the launching pad, Bella true to form, clung onto me like a barnacle. She shrieked during the whole length of the slide. We hit the water and both bobbed up at the same time. Bella shook the water from her hair and spouted, "Oh my gosh, let's do that again!"

Hooh boy, I created a monster. She kept goin' down that freakin' slide all afternoon. I was afraid we wouldn't make the trek back to our car before sunset. Most of the other otters had already left, so Bella didn't havta wait too long between rides. I finally broke the news to her.

"Honey, we better get goin' if we want to see our way outta this jungle."

"Okay, just one more ride, and we'll go."

"Now see what you would've missed."

Bella waved as she ran to the top of the slide. I watched her zip straight into the pond, and took her hands when she emerged from the water for the last time, clasping her to my chest.

"Can we come back tomorrow?" she asked.

I laughed. "We'll see how you feel tomorrow after our three mile hike to Kapaa."

* * *

Just as I predicted, Bella's legs gave out after the first mile. This time, I scooped her up, and carried her. In all honesty, it was actually faster to travel with her in my arms than on her own two feet, what with all the vines and treacherous roots out to get her.

Dinner was light this evening—some cracked crab and a salad. Then it was on to the Kauai Surf. I had to wake Bella up when we reached the hotel; she was that exhausted. I pulled down the covers on the bed, and she flopped onto the mattress.

I went into the bathroom to take a shower, and when I returned, she was out cold. I dressed for bed, and then took care of my tuckered-out bride. Slipping the shoes and socks from her feet, I stashed them in the closet. I removed her shorts, but left her tank top in place. I had hoped we would have time for some more lovin' tonight, but I guess I was outta luck, so I kissed her cheek, and drew the covers over her, getting under the blankets myself. Spooning her snugly, I whispered, _Goodnight, sweetheart._

* * *

Not as chipper the following morning, Bella woke up groaning. "Oh gosh, I guess I overdid it yesterday. My legs are aching."

Was it cruel to grin at her? I tried to tell her yesterday, but she knew best! Now she was suffering the consequences. I could say, _told ya_, but it was so obvious, it would be pointless.

"I can massage them for you."

"Do we have time?" she asked.

I did _not_ understand that question. "What do you mean?"

"Well I know you're hungry and want to get to breakfast. If you start rubbing my legs, before you know it, you'll be rubbing me ... in other places. You won't be able to stop, and I won't want to even try to _get_ you to stop."

"And, would that be a bad thing?"

"No, I'm just sayin ..."

Wiggling my eyebrows, I told her, "I think I'll just start by rubbin' your legs."

* * *

Bella was right; we _were_ late to breakfast. Truth be told, I hoped to be late for many more meals as well. Besides some people say you should do your aerobic exercises on an empty stomach.

Since my sweetie was kinda tired today, I drove us to some of the other hotels to check them out, and stroll along their grounds. It was a very relaxing day, with no particular destination in mind; the real world pushed miles away.

The next morning we were out and about, window shopping at Hilo Hattie's. On the way back to the hotel, we noticed the stop lights were out, and there were policemen directing traffic. What the ...?

The hotel lobby was dark, and the elevators were inoperable. I talked to the desk clerk, and she said the power was out all over the island. She apologized, and informed us that the café would be closed 'til the electricity came back on.

Bella and I trudged up the stairwell to our room on the fourth floor. I felt sorry for the older guests, and those that were in the upper suites. Needless to say, it didn't bother us much, 'cuz we spent most of the day laying on the beach or canoodling in bed.

* * *

The power came back online that evening, so after a hot meal, Bella and I went dancing. The little stinker still wouldn't dirty dance with me tho'.

"Jake, I can't do that. It's embarrassing. There are people looking at us."

"And your point is?"

Her arms snaked around my neck, and she left a quick kiss on my mouth. "My point is; I'd rather do my dirty dancing in private."

Hooh boy, I liked that answer. "That's it, let's get out of here!"

I grabbed her arm, steering her toward the exit.

"Where are we going?"

"Take a wild guess."

* * *

Our week on Kauai was gone, so the next morning saw us packing our bags for Oahu. I wanted my sister and her husband to meet Mrs. Black. They were expecting us, but not as man and wife. No one knew yet, that we'd eloped. I planned on broadcasting the news when we got to their place. Bella was gonna love it there. They lived up against the mountains, surrounded by lush vegetation. They had their own chickens, a rabbit pen, and a vegetable garden worthy of King Kamehameha.

I was also anxious to share our wedding pictures with them. The photographer from the chapel had left the proofs at the desk two days ago. I paid for all of them, which were delivered to us yesterday, right before the blackout.

As we rushed off to the airport, I warned Bella, "Now don't get all antsy about meeting Becca. She'll love you—and Al ... he's Hawaiian, what more can I say?"

"Wait, I thought you said his name was Kapono."

"Oh right, sorry. Everyone calls him Al. You know, short for Al Capone. And, his last name's Apaka, just like Alfred Apaka too, so there was no way for him to dodge the nickname."

"Who's Alfred Apaka?"

"He was a famous Hawaiian musician and singer—before my time, tho'. I'm only familiar with the more contemporary singers like Gabby Pahinui, and the Cazimeros."

"How do you know so much about Hawaiian music?"

"Are you kiddin'? I think Becca has all the albums they ever made."

* * *

We dropped off the rental, and walked to the gate, with a little more than ten minutes to spare.

Climbing aboard the jet, we bade a sad goodbye to Kauai. Settled into our seats, we looked forward to visiting Oahu, and Bella's first meeting with her new in-laws.

* * *

A/N: Waipahee Slide is actually closed to the public now, since two young men drowned there. For my purposes, I'm pretending that it's still allowing visitors.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Hawaiian Honeymoon

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

BPOV:

It was our first full day together as a married couple. My brain had a hard time getting that fact to sink in. I was married to the most wonderful guy in the universe.

While we were at the beach, I couldn't keep my hands from roaming all over my cute Quileute husband. His thick black hair became a playground for my fingers; that and all the muscles in his chest and shoulders. Geesh, I was almost embarrassed by how much I wanted him. How had I held off so long?

Now that I was no longer afraid of being intimate with him, all my inhibitions seemed to have evaporated. Jacob was sweet and lovable, and funny and sexy. My gosh, he was generous too. My ex never took me anywhere. Come to think of it, we never even went to a movie together. And here I was in Hawaii, at a beautiful hotel, eating the best food, and sleeping with the hottest male of the species. It was unbelievable how my life had made a 180 degree turn.

My only regret was that we had to stop our amorous encounters to eat. It took up too much time, darn it! And Jacob had to put his shirt back on also. I made up for lost time that evening though, as I scampered out of the bathroom in my lace negligee. Jacob's response was not unexpected.

I heard him give a wolf whistle, then he exclaimed, "Oh man, that nightie is gonna kill me. And it almost _did_ that other night. You look so sexy in it ... now—let me see you take it off!"

Amused by his blunt comment, I decided to tease him. "Jacob Black!"

With his face all innocent looking, he replied, "Whaaaat?"

I challenged him. "You going to make me?"

Oh my gosh, his eyes darkened seductively, and all at once, the sheet pulled away, exposing a very naked and very aroused Jacob. My breath caught, and suddenly I was _just_ as aroused. The nightie, along with the panties, flew through the air, landing in his outstretched palm.

In less than a heartbeat, we were grappling on the mattress, and twenty minutes later, spent and resting contentedly.

* * *

I was all psyched up to see this place that Jacob told me about. It was this water attraction called Waipahee Slide, however, he _didn't_ tell me that we had to hike to get there through heat and humidity and rotting fruit and pesty bugs. And he also conveniently forgot to mention that the blamming thing was like fifty feet high.

When we reached our destination, I was riding on my groom's shoulders. I would've never made it without him. My legs gave way after the first couple of miles, but my soldier boy marched on like it was a walk in the park—and with me as added weight too.

I could tell that Jacob was ready for the time of his life; his face beamed with excitement. All the while, I was ready to run for the hills. There was no way I was getting on that water slide, and told him as much. I wasn't a thrill seeker like he was. No amount of coaxing would change my mind, not even from my sweet lover. So poor Jacob, pretending to pout, went without me.

I heard him yelling something in Quileute, and the loud splash as he landed in the pool beneath. Coming back to where I was cowering, he tried once more to convince me that this would be fun. He mentioned our honeymoon, and I didn't want the ears around us to hear it. Then he threatened to speak louder if I didn't go down the stupid thing with him. So, I relented. What else could I do?

Winding my arms about his waist, I hid my face at his back, and screamed all the way down to the waiting pool. Somehow, to my utter amazement, my adrenaline became my friend, and I needed another dose of it. I had no idea what came over me. Maybe it was Jacob's enthusiasm. Was it contagious? That must've been it.

Jacob was in shock at my reaction, but joined me for the next few rides. I went on my own after that. What was wrong with me? Even after most of the people left, I was still screaming and sliding down Waipahee.

Ultimately, Jacob reminded me that we couldn't stay here forever, and if we didn't hit the trail soon, we'd be _looking_ for the trail in the dark. I didn't realize how much this day had worn me out, and Jacob had to carry me out of the jungle because my legs would no longer hold me up.

I fell asleep on the way to our hotel. Jacob woke me up on arrival, and after entering the room, proceeded to turn down the bedding. All I remember from that moment on was plopping onto the mattress.

* * *

He had warned me, "You feel great now, but I'm tellin' ya, honey. Tomorrow you are gonna pay for all your fun."

Did I listen? No, of course not, and now my legs felt like they'd been trampled by a herd of buffalo. My sweetheart offered to massage them for me, but I knew that once he began on my legs, his hands would invariably travel upward and end up in erotic places. He'd be late for breakfast, and I knew how he loved to eat. But, it seemed that his favorite activity was fast being supplanted by this new one now, and who was I to complain? Breakfast would wait.

* * *

There sure were a lot of hotels on this tiny island, and Jacob and I took a tour of some of them. The grounds were always so beautiful, so we walked along, our fingers interlocked, taking in each and every view, and snapping photos at every turn.

The next day will always remain in vivid color in my memories. There was a blackout on the island. It could only happen to us. Everything was at a standstill, but not my Jacob. He found _things _to do. We either lay out on the beach, or lay around in bed.

At last the electricity returned, and we found ourselves at _Mokihana's_ for some dancing. Jacob could not convince me that dirty dancing was a spectator sport. I did not want to be _spectated _upon, so I refused, and told him, "I'd rather do my dirty dancing in private."

He responded quickly. "That's it, let's get out of here!"

Before I knew it, we were on our way out the door. I held back for a moment.

"Where are we going?" _As if I didn't know_.

"Take a wild guess."

* * *

I awoke to the sound of Jacob in the shower, singing:

_Standing in the sunlight laughing_

_Hide behind a rainbow's wall,_

_Slipping and a-sliding_

_All along the waterfall_

_With you, my brown-eyed girl_

_You, my brown-eyed girl._

That was my last smile of the morning ... sigh. It was depressing having to pack our bags, and leave this place behind. I wanted to cry—this room, this beach, this island would house some of the most treasured memories of my life. Jacob had already told me that we would be visiting his sister and brother-in-law on Oahu, so it wasn't like we were abandoning Hawaii altogether. Still, there was a lump in my throat as big as a brick, when Jacob took me by the hand and escorted me to the elevator.

The bags were already in the car, as he helped me into the passenger seat. On to the airport—and on to another phase of our journey.

* * *

We were greeted at the gate by Jacob's sister and brother-in-law. I recognized Rebecca immediately, since I'd already met her twin, and I assumed that the tall, dark, handsome Hawaiian, with the big smile was her husband. They walked toward us eagerly, each holding a flower lei in their hands.

Kapono shook Jacob's hand, and said, "Eh, bruddah, howzit? How it is, you two not get leid yet?"

Oh my gosh, my cheeks were aflame. I nudged Jacob, and whispered. "What did he just say?"

Jacob smiled and whispered back, "He means neither one of us has a lei around our necks."

"Oh, I thought ..."

His two eyebrows rose an inch. "Yeah I know what you thought." In a louder voice, he introduced me. "Sweetheart, this is Kapono."

Kapono placed the lei on me and kissed my cheek, "Aloha, and welcome to Hawaii, sistah. You must be Jacob's lady, Bella, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Rebecca did the same for Jacob, but she hugged him for a long time, teary eyed, then she turned to me, "Don't mind Al, he puts on the _pidgin_ for show. Hardly anyone speaks like that anymore."

Her husband looked disgusted. "Yeah, unfortunately. So, Jacob, my man, it's been awhile. You all _moke_ now, huh?"

Jacob gave him a playful shove. "Not as _moke_ as you. You still doin' the _siva afi_ at the Tiki Moon?"

"Yeah, we'll be there tomorrow night. Bella have you been to a luau yet."

"No."

"Good, I'll get you front row seats." He winked at Jacob for some reason. "I need someone responsible to manage the fire extinguisher."

I must've had a shocked expression on my face, because Rebecca commented, "Al, stop, you're scaring the girl. He's just kidding you, Bella.

"Well, now that you guys are here, you can use my car. Just follow Al and me to the Tiki Moon Villas. You can get settled, and then come to the house so we can get better acquainted. Jake, do you remember how to get there?"

"You're still a mile past Anapuni street, right?"

"Yep, same ol' little grass shack, brah," Kapono interjected. "And bring your appetite. Becca makes some good _grinds. Dey broke da mowt."_

* * *

Tiki Moon was absolute paradise. We had a room right off the ocean, and all the little _hales _were cloistered around a garden path. The view was breathtaking too. And I thought Kauai was hard to leave.

The Apaka's home wasn't hard to find. It was up against a green curtain of mountain. The house itself was a green color also, and nestled in among the trees and vines. It was set up on stilts like a lot of the houses were, I guess to avoid flooding?

The inside of the home was decorated simply with grass mats, shells and tapa cloth. The flooring was bamboo, and the furniture, rataan, with a bold green and blue Island print. The pictures lining the walls were of family, and a few ocean scenes. All in all, it was a very relaxing place to just sit and talk.

I certainly didn't need to worry about what to say because Kapono and Jacob kept the ball rolling along quite nicely. Rebecca did get her two cents in though, introducing her little three year old son, Ephraim Amoni Apaka, who was the spittin' image of his father. He didn't stay but a few minutes; running out to play in the yard on a rope swing his dad had put up for him.

It didn't take long for his sister to notice the bands on our fingers, and quirking an eyebrow, she lifted Jacob's hand. Rebecca toyed with the ring. "So, little brother, I see you didn't waste any time, with a long engagement."

Kapono jumped out of his seat, smacking Jacob's shoulder. "Oh man, congratulations, Brah. How long you been married?"

"Six whole glorious days."

Rebecca moved toward her brother, and squeezed him again, wiping a tear from her eye. "Awwww! I'm so happy for you, Jake!"

She scooted over to me next. "And you too, Bella. I know my brother is crazy about you. I have it on the best authority that he has been for a long time."

Her bright eyes twinkled, and her hand waved in the air. "But, never mind that—what do your parents think about all this?"

I involuntarily winced. "They don't really know yet."

Her twinkles left, and a frown appeared. "Oh ... Well, while you're here, you can use our phone to let them in on the good news. They won't be upset, will they?"

Jacob leaned forward in his seat. "Nah, her dad loves me. He even gave me his blessing. He probably won't be a bit surprised, 'cuz, let's face it; this is Hawaii where all your dreams come true. Mine did, anyway."

He clutched my hand kissing my knuckles.

Kapono slapped his thighs. "Okay, enough of this mushy stuff, and here I thought you were all moke. The waves are pumpin', man. You wanna go surf today?"

"You havta ask?"

I was amazed. "You really _do_ surf?"

"Sure, sure. I told you I wanted to do some surfing while I was here."

"I thought you were just kidding. Do you even know how?"

Pointing a thumb at his own chest, Kapono bragged, "He was taught by the best, sistah. Number one surf boy, Kapono Apaka!"

* * *

Before we left to check out the waves, I phoned my folks. It was 1:00 P.M. here so Dad and Mom would be home from work.

I heard my mother's voice. "Mom?"

"Oh sweetie! How are you? How's Hawaii? You are so lucky."

"I'm more than that. You better sit down. I have something to tell you."

Silence. "Mom are you there?"

"You haven't been in an accident, have you? Oh god, please don't tell me you're pregnant."

"No, Mom. I hope this is good news. Jacob didn't want to wait any longer. We got married six days ago."

"Whaaaaaat? I can't believe you'd do something that dumb. What about school? What about Michel?"

"What about love? I love him, Mom, and I'm not sorry I married him. I'm happy. Please don't spoil it for me. I'll finish school, I promise."

I overheard Mom whispering something to Dad, and he was asking questions.

I'm sure she noticed the irritation in my voice."I want to speak to Dad. Put him on the phone."

"Don't speak to me like that."

"Mom ... Mom! Please ... put Dad on the _phone_."

The telephone noisily changed hands. "Hey, Kitten, what's your mother so riled up about?"

I didn't mean to, but my tongue clicked anyway. "Jake and I got married, that's what. I'd hoped she'd be okay with it."

"Well, you know your mom. But, hey, so you tied the knot, huh? Good for you. That Jake is a great guy. I'm sure he'll take good care of you. I've got to admit though. I'm not one bit surprised. I knew he was headed in that direction. You having a nice honeymoon?"

"It's been wonderful, and Jake's been such a sweetheart. This wasn't a mistake. I'm just so happy, Dad."

"I'm happy for you too, kiddo. And don't worry about Michel. He's fine. You finish up your honeymooning, and tell Jacob, I approve."

In the background, Mom snorted, "You would."

* * *

A/N: Dey broke da mowt (they broke the mouth). Translation from Pidgen: Her food is delicious. Why it means that, is beyond me!*shrugs*  
The _siva afi_ is better known as the Samoan fire knife dance

FYI: Jacob was singing an excerpt from Brown-eyed Girl, by Van Morrison.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32: Woohoo, Oahu

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

I heard Kapono's cheerful voice before I saw him, waving at us. He and my sister held flower leis in their hands, one for each of us. He started in right off the bat, with the _put on_ pidgin for my sweetie.

The big Hawaiian made a crack about not getting _leid_ yet, and of course Bella took it the wrong way, if you get my meaning. Her blush could stop traffic, so I had to set her straight in a flash. My sister set Kapono straight too about knockin' off with the pidgin crap.

Rebecca was beside herself, squeezing me as tightly as an empty tube of toothpaste. We hadn't seen each other in two years, so I guess I should've expected the tears and the hugs.

We followed them to the Tiki Moon Villas. I drove Rebecca's car. She said we could use it for the three days we'd be there.

Our villa was by no means modern or anything, but it had a certain charm. It was right on the ocean front, and there was even a picnic table at the rear of our bungalow, overlooking the beach. Bella and I could have breakfast out there tomorrow.

All our belongings got unpacked and put away; and we were on our way to Rebecca's.

I would love to live in a place like Kapono's. The house sat far enough back from its nearest neighbor so that it seemed private and peaceful. It was surrounded by a mass of greenery. There were avocado trees, banana palms, passion fruit vines ... guava, papaya, breadfruit—you name it.

They could live off their land and never have to buy groceries.

Their home was cozy, and my sister urged us to have a seat. We basically had just settled in our chairs, when Rebecca's sneaky eyes glommed onto our wedding bands, and our secret was out. I could tell she was appalled that we hadn't called Dad or Bella's parents for that matter either, a fact that she remedied by letting us borrow the use of her phone.

Kapono in his usual style, belted me a good one on the shoulder in congratulations. Rebecca was crying again, as she clung to me, saying how happy she was.

The conversation never lagged what with Kapono and me yukkin' it up. Rebecca finally squeezed in a word or two and let us meet her son, Ephraim, who just woken up from his nap. He was a cute little bugger, full of energy, and he blasted outta the house like a jet to play outside after saying hello, not that I blamed him any.

The subject of surfing came up; Kapono was itching to take me out. This was probably an excuse for him to ride a few waves without complaints from my sister. Bella had a hard time believing I could do it, though. I'd have to prove it to her, I guess. It'd been a couple of years since I was on a board, but I assumed it was like riding a bike. Anyway, I was ready to go. Bella however wanted to call her parents before we left. I figured my dad waited this long to hear from me, so what difference would a few hours make, right?

Jeez, listening to Bella's conversation with Renee was heartbreaking. Why was her mom being such a wet blanket? It was a done deal, and nothing could change it now. Couldn't she just be happy for us? Luckily, my sweet bride got to talk to Charlie after her _discussion_ with her mom, and that made all the difference. I knew _he'd_ congratulate us.

* * *

The waves were pumpin' all right. We could see the pipeline even as we traveled on Kamehameha Highway. Kapono was an expert at picking out the best spot, and Sunset Beach on Oahu's North Shore was a winner.

I thought Bella was gonna bust a gut when we actually set foot on the sand. To me, the sight of those waves was awesome, to Bella it was an accident waiting to happen. She shoud've had more faith in me, after all, I learned from the best; Kapono was a surfing ace. He'd done this all his life.

Bella sat on the beach, probably with her eyes closed, I'd bet, while Kapono and I paddled out looking to catch a really clean wave. Just as I suspected, as soon as I stood on that board, I was ridin' high, and then skimmin' along the inside of the barrel. It was heaven.

Sure, I wiped out a few times, and even once _over the falls_. So I got _drilled_—no big deal. Thank god for the leg rope, though. I looked over at Bella each time, and she would stand up, shading her eyes against the sun, making sure I wasn't injured by the pounding surf. I'd wave at her to let her know my body was still intact.

We surfed for a little more than an hour or so, then headed on back. Rebecca had stayed behind with Ephraim to make us some dinner. Bella was adamant that we not be late.

I was stoked; nothing like a little surfing to make you feel the blood surging through your arteries. Man, this was the life, ridin' along with the windows rolled down after playing in the waves, and holding on tight to my girl.

"So whaddya think, Bells? Can I surf ... or can I surf?"

My brother-in-law peeked back at her over his shoulder. "C'mon now, Bella. Let's hear it for Al, too. One primo surfing instructor, yeah."

"Okay, so yeah, I'm convinced. I still had my heart in my throat when the waves were knocking him around. I thought I was going to be widowed before our one week anniversary."

I nuzzled her cheek. "Oh ye of little faith ... I told you I was a strong swimmer."

"Your kane tamed the ocean today. No doubt about it. _Choo hoo_!

He winked at Jacob, and teased,"That's hooh boy, in Samoan."

"Get in a jibe, why dontcha," Jacob muttered.

Bella looked confused. "Wait ... I thought you were Hawaiian."

"I am; my father was Hawaiian, and my mother Samoan. That makes me a _hapa_ Hawaiian."

* * *

Rebecca always was a great cook; too bad her sister didn't mimic her in that department. You'd think being twins they would share the same talents. Maybe when Bella moved to La Push, she could give Rachel some pointers. She could use that skill to keep her flirt home where he belonged. Paul still hadn't tied the knot yet, and I was beginning to wonder if he ever would. I just didn't get it.

Dinner was delicious, and the conversation, lively. The big Hawaiian had a funny story for every occasion. He could be a stand up comic, Island style.

Bella helped Rebecca clean up the kitchen, while Kapono played with Ephraim, to keep him out of their hair. While that was goin' on, I decided to phone my dad.

"Hey, Dad. I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"I'm glad to hear your voice, Son. No, I was just watching TV. Is everything okay?"

"Better than okay. I just wanted you to know that Bella and I are here in Hawaii visiting Becca and Al. I'll let you speak to Becca as soon as I tell you the news."

"You and Bella got hitched, eh?"

I sagged onto the couch, perplexed. How did he know?

"How ...?

"I may be getting old, but I'm not stupid. You're in Hawaii. You're with Bella. _You'd_ be the stupid one to pass up a chance like that. You two love each other. By the way, congratulations. Now I wish Rachel would finally tie the knot. All this wishy-washy stuff is giving your ol' man gray hair. I want to see some more grandkids before they bury me.

"Are you having a good honeymoon?"

"The best."

"Now, Son, I don't mean to preach, but here's some fatherly advice. Don't wear out your new bride. You know what I mean...?"

"Sure, sure, but it works both ways."

"Oh, so you roped you a wild one, eh? Still waters run deep, as they say. Just be sure to see to her needs first, and she'll stay wild for you, always."

_Jeez, I can't believe he actually said that. Good thing Bells is in the kitchen._

"Anyway, I'm happy for you both. You treat her right, and do me proud."

"I will ... oh, here comes Becca. I'll let you talk to her now. And thanks, Dad."

* * *

Becca finished her conversation with Dad, and returned to the kitchen with Bella to serve the dessert. Kapono jerked his head in the direction of the front door. "Hey, Jacob, let's go outside for a few minutes. I want to talk to you, man to man."

He crooked an index finger toward his son. "C'mon, Ephraim, you too."

We went out to the backyard, and Kapono laid it on the line. With his hand resting on my shoulder, he said, "Jake, since you're a newlywed, I just wanted you to know that I'm here if you need any advice ..." One eyebrow quirked. "You know what I'm getting at, don't you? I've got to tell you, it's important that you please your woman."

I chuckled at his comment. "Thanks for the offer, Al, but I think I got a handle on it."

"Oh, okay. So you're saying your bride is pleased with your performance then."

"Yep, pretty damn pleased."

Kapono shaking his hand, gave me the hang loose signal. "Well, all right then—shaka, brah! Hey, you want to impress your wahine even more?"

"Whaddya have in mind?"

"You know, the Luau is tomorrow night. Remember how I had you practice the _siva afi_ with me?"

"You had to remind me? Scared the sh** outta me, the first time I tried it."

He gestured, pitching an invisible knife toward me. "I'll throw the knife to you, and you toss it back to me. Nothing fancy, I can't have your shirt going up in flames."

I pursed my lips and shot out a burst of air. "Been there, done that already."

Kapono nodded, knowingly. "Oh, right—I heard about that. Becca told me.

"Now, one other thing, not that I don't appreciate your company, but you have a wife to attend to. So after eating dessert, I would suggest you take that new bride of yours back to your hotel and please her some more, yeah?"

I grinned at the big guy. "Great minds think alike."

My brother-in-law patted my back, and hugged me fiercely. "That's my boy!"

He looked a little to the other end of the yard, and yelled, "Ephraim, c'mere, child; get away from that mud. Your mother will kill me."

The little boy came running into the man's arms. His father scooped him up and lifted him, squealing in delight, draping his son over his shoulder.

* * *

Jeez, all this fatherly advice actually ignited my engine. But I had to wonder ... did they think I was _that_ clueless. I ate my pie as fast as I was able to swallow. I could barely wait 'til it was time to split. Bella gave me a come hither stare—like I said, great minds and all that ... Hooh boy, Tiki Moon, we'll be coming soon ... literally.

As soon as we hit the door to our villa, our passion overflowed. I hoped that my girl was pleased with me, 'cuz truthfully, I was having the time of my life, _pleasing_ her. As our breathing and pulses returned to normal, I decided to have a serious discussion with my misses.

* * *

We lay on the bed, facing each other, my fingers threading through her hair, our eyes glued to one another. I kissed her tenderly once more, and broke the silence, "Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well, it's that _something_ my Dad mentioned, and Al too. I wasn't worried about it, 'til they brought up the subject. I want you to tell me the truth. Do I please you ... I mean ... you know, sexually? Is it good for you? Do I satisfy you? Am I doin' okay? Tell me, I gotta know."

Bella looked startled at first, but then a smile began to break out over her face. "What is it with you men, so concerned about being the MVP in the sack? You can't be one hundred percent every time, but ... so far so good. Yes, I'm very pleased. Yes, it's been good for me. Yes, you satisfy me. Yes, you're doing great. And yes, I never knew it could be like this. I never knew what sex really was until the night I was in bed with _you_."

She touched one of her fingers to my mouth, lovingly outlining my lips. "Jacob, you have nothing to be worried about. You're a sweet, tender, passionate, sharing lover. My gosh, you practically make my body sing, and I love you for it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, don't ever doubt it."

She leaned in closer and captured my bottom lip, pulling it between her teeth. That got me moaning once more.

I gave her a warning look. "Honey, don't get me started again. I need to tell you something else. I'm being serious, now."

Bella canted her head. "Go ahead, I'm listening."

Her finger took up another task; it was now sliding down my forehead, my nose, to my chin, and to my throat, and then some.

"Okay, here's the thing. I'm a guy, and ...

"Jeez, Bells, have a heart. This is some heavy stuff, I gotta tell you. I'm gettin' all flustered here."

She dropped her hand. "I'll be good," she pouted.

"So I'm a guy, and when I get back from the Middle East ..." I clicked my tongue in exasperation. "Crap—let me start over ... You know I want you, right? I told you that from the beginning."

"No, really? I had no idea."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I thought you said you were gonna be good."

A very exaggerated sigh escaped my girl. "Sorry."

"I don't know about women, but I'll be wanting to have sex with you every day—there I said it. Whaddya think?"

"I think, I could never deny you. I love you too much."

"But, hey, I don't want you to think you can't tell me _no._ You might not feel well, or you might be too tired. I won't ever force myself on you. Okay, that's all."

"You sure?"

"Sure, sure."

Bella laughed as she snuggled into me, her hands roamin' farther and farther south. Hooh boy, round two was startin' up in a hurry.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Let's Hear It for the Boys

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

****The ocean on Oahu's North Shore was nearly alive—a hungry, liquid beast. It was like the water was determined to swallow people whole. The waves were huge and terrifying. The roar alone scared the bejeepers out of me. I couldn't believe these two maniacs actually were looking forward to getting up on one of those walls of pending disaster and ride it out.**  
**

I sat on the sand at Sunset Beach, chewing my nails down to nubbins. Even though Kapono was an expert surfer and trainer, my stomach was doing flip-flops. Jacob assured me that he'd been surfing before, but that still didn't curtail my fear, in fact it probably intensified it. That meant that he would be more confident, and reckless, challenging the strength of Mother Nature. This was the ocean. It was unpredictable; anything could happen. Holy cow, weren't there like ... sharks somewhere out and about too?

Maybe I should've stayed at the Apaka's and helped Rebecca with dinner. She was smart to stay home. She probably worried about Kapono's lack of fear too. Leave it to the men to think up dangerous sports to see how close they could thumb their noses at death. They didn't seem to worry about risking their very lives. Gosh, these were grown men, acting like little boys raring to perform death defying stunts.

I had my eyes closed for half of this adventure; I was that frightened. This was worse than the first plunge from the lava shoot at Waipahee. Jacob was thrown several times, with the waves crashing over him, burying him in their wake. Once, the board even flew out from under him, going airborne, and dragging Jacob by the ankle leash through the thundering surf. With every wipeout, I jumped up from the beach blanket, looking into the sun, anxiously waiting for that head of black hair to bob to the surface. I held my breath until he emerged from the depths, gesturing to me that he was okay. It was the longest hour of my life. Thank god, I told Jacob we had to be on time for dinner—anything to get him safely off that board.

I guess I should've been proud of the way he slipped along the inside of those massive curls of water—when he wasn't being tossed about and crushed beneath the waves—but I was too concerned for his safety to feel that way.

When he and Kapono finally called it quits, my heart at last settled down to its normal rhythm. They strolled along, unconcerned, laughing and shoving one another.

Kapono wiggled his fingers in the air, and puffed out his cheeks, moving his mouth like a blow fish. "Did you see many little sea creatures on the reef?"

Jacob stopped short, grinning at his companion. "Hey, I saw you gettin' dumped into the sea a couple of times too."

"Only because I was busy watching out for you," the big Hawaiian cackled. "You kissed the bottom with every other wave. I thought I taught you better than that, brah!"

"So, I'm a little rusty."

"A little?"

They sauntered to where I was sitting, carrying their surf boards. I tried not to appear too anxious, but when Jacob dropped the board, my arms were about his waist instantly. I didn't want to let go; he was safe in my embrace.

"See what I mean? Even Bella here thinks you almost bought a plot in Davy Jones's locker."

"Oh, yeah? Well I'll do better tomorrow."

"Jake, please ... no," I spouted.

"Not to worry, Bella. I wouldn't want him to disgrace himself again. We'll be going to the Polynesian Cultural Center in the morning, anyway.

"Okay, kanes and wahines, let's get back to our hale and have some grinds. They be ono ono."

* * *

While in the car, I asked Jacob, "Why do you risk your life like that? I almost had a heart attack every time you got knocked off your board."

He wound his arms around my shoulders. "You're not a guy, so you probably wouldn't understand. It's fun; it's challenging. It makes me feel alive."

"How can you feel alive, when you're thrashing about, nearly drowning?"

"That's just it. When you get back up to the surface—you won. You beat the ocean at its own game."

I shook my head; his logic didn't make any sense to me. "You're right, Jake. I'm a woman, and I just don't get it."

Kapono chimed in. "You and Becca agree on that account. My wife cringes every time I say I want to go catch a wave. You women spoil all our fun with your constant worrying. You're going to get wrinkles, girlie."

* * *

Rebecca and I were in the kitchen after dinner. She handed me a dish to rinse and dry, since I insisted on helping.

"The truth is, I make up every excuse so that I won't have to go with Al, when the ocean calls to him. _C'mon, Becca_,_ the waves are really pumpin' out there ..._ Ugh ... It's pathetic. I wouldn't mind so much if he surfed on some of the other beaches, but he has to go where the swells are about fifty feet high, or more. I can't watch, so I just stay home and pray that he'll come back alive."

I rubbed the towel over the plate and placed it in the cupboard. "I know what you mean. I was so afraid that Jake would drown out there."

She began scrubbing the plates a little more forcefully. "I'm not as concerned about drowning as I am about the boys hitting the underlying reef. It can really rip you apart, and if you hit it head first, you could be knocked unconscious. Even if someone pulled you out of the water, who knows if you'd ever wake up.

"You're lucky to be moving to La Push. The ocean up there can get angry too, especially during a storm. The waves are every bit as monstrous as here, but it's colder, and it rains all the time, so the surfers aren't as eager to get in the water. They need wetsuits, plus the beach is usually littered with logs from fallen trees. I hear though, that the sport is gaining in popularity. Word of warning—keep my brother busy, so he won't be tempted. One surfing fool in the family is enough.

"Aside from the scare this afternoon, how's the rest of your honeymoon going? Is Jake treating you all right?"

"My gosh, he's wonderful. You have the best brother in the world. He's so loving."

"Speaking of loving, did your wedding night go okay? I mean, he's a pretty big guy, just like my Al. I was a nervous wreck the first time we got together."

Holy cow, I wasn't expecting her to be so open. I guess it ran in the family. The heat spread over my face and neck. Rebecca put down the dish she was washing to look at me, when I hesitated to answer.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I just wanted to be sure my baby brother did right by you ... you know? I'll cuff him up the side of the head if he didn't, and he can always talk to Al for a little coaching."

My face turned another shade darker. "Um ... he did right by me." _Did he ever!_ "I don't think he'll need any advice." _From Kapono, or anyone else for that matter._

* * *

While we ate our dessert, I caught Jacob giving me the eye. I knew that look, and his naughty grin practically had me undone even as I bit into my coconut pie. I answered silently, throwing my _come get me stare_, right back at him. He got the message, and we both started shoveling in the food as fast as we could.

We no sooner hit the suite at the Tiki Moon when we both lost it, and ended up tumbling into bed. As usual, Jacob _did me right_, and I curled up in his arms, limp as a wilted orchid.

Before we drifted off, Jacob had an interesting conversation with me. Apparently, Kapono had almost the same discussion with him that Rebecca had with me! Boy, they really were aiming on getting our marriage off on the right footing. That got him to thinking. He said he needed to be absolutely sure that he was pleasing me, physically, and I assured _him_ that I had no complaints.

All the while, my hands were busy traveling along his face and hair; I couldn't keep them still. Once, Jacob actually had to make me stop. He looked serious, and sensuous, and cute; how could I resist? He was making me crazy. When all his words got used up, I re-purposed his lips, and lowered the descent of my hands until he surrendered to my feminine wiles. It was an easy victory.

* * *

The Polynesian Cultural Center was spectacular. It wasn't only a show put on by dancers. It was laid out in actual villages and gave you a flavor of each of the islands. There was weaving of baskets, making of tapa cloth, ti leaf skirts and Tahitian skirts made from the fibers of the parau tree. Also, I witnessed the husking of coconuts, and starting fires with the hau. There were dance lessons, and tiki carving, canoe building, lei making, and cooking.

I wished I had a pad of paper with me, so I could take notes. The information was overwhelming, but what got me was the sincere friendliness and good humor of the people. And the music—the place was alive with it. Harmonizing voices filled the air with their songs, and the beating of the drums made the earth shake in sync with the rhythm.

We had to leave before they got ready for their luau. The Tiki Moon had a luau of their own, and Kapono was one of the entertainers. I couldn't wait.

It was amazing to be seated ocean side and watch authentic dances presented in front of my eyes. Kapono came out with some of the other male performers and did a Samoan slap dance. His russet skin glistened with oil, and the view and sounds of the rapid tapping and slapping was hypnotic. I didn't think Kapono could top that act, but he then came out with a long knife, tipped on each end with tongues of fire. He twirled it so quickly, it was a fiery blur. The knife passed behind his back, under his back as he arched it on the ground, and into the star-filled sky. He even laid the flaming knife on his bare feet, while he lay supine in the sand, with his legs in the air.

Jacob had left his seat a few minutes before the act finished, and stood at the rear of the crowd. His shirt was off, and he was looking as if he was expecting something to happen. All at once, Kapono hurled the flaming torch over the heads of the astonished audience. My jaw dropped open, and I jumped up, standing there in shock. The people, myself included, all gasped as Jacob caught it one handed, spun it like a pro several times, and pitched it back to my brother-in-law, who now was wielding another knife. The spectators went wild with cheers and applause.

As he returned to his seat, I grabbed his neck, and planted one on him. Jacob looked at Rebecca with a _case of the smugness_ dripping off his face. His sister took him down a peg, bumping him sharply with her shoulder. "Show off!" But she muttered to me, "Pretty impressive, huh?" Not trying to hide my smile, I nodded, thinking, _That, he was._

I was so wound up after the show, that I rivaled Jacob and Kapono with my chattering. That was remedied in a hurry though, because when we reached our room, Jacob covered my mouth with his, essentially changing the subject.

* * *

The following day, we ate breakfast on the picnic table out back. We drove around the island for a while, and hung out lazily at the beach for the rest of the afternoon. Jacob invited his sister to come with us out to dinner, but she declined since this would be the last night of our stay.

Our last night—I would miss my time here, but thinking ahead, reality was beginning to hit me with the force of a killer wave. I'd be missing more than Oahu when Jacob had to return to Iraq. My heart was already aching.

**. . . . .**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Leavin' It Behind

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

Kapono led us around the Polynesian Cultural Center. Man, that place was a microcosm of Island life; an encyclopedia personified. I was interested in everything that went on there—but Bella was living and _breathing_ the stuff. I had all I could do to haul her away from the place. I'd have to bring her back here someday to visit.

However, one thing that really held _my_ attention was a legend that the people had here, and that was: their ancestors were actually travelers that set sail from South America. The Hawaiians, and other Islanders, believed that they are related to us—that they are in fact, Native Americans. That was really something to chew on.

They also held to the legend, as do the people of South America, and Mexico, of a white god who would return someday to rule the islands. The people of the big Island, Hawaii, at Kealakekua Bay, we were told, killed Captain Cook 'cuz mistaking him for the god, they found out later that he was an ordinary human being—a haole—meaning that he had no breath left in him.

I also learned how to kiss in Hawaiian; that is touching nose to nose, as in sharing each other's breath. Personally, I'd rather be swappin' spit, and grappling with Bella's tongue. The nose bobbing just didn't do it for me.

* * *

We bade a fond aloha to the PCC, and got ready for the Luau at the Tiki Moon. I was a smite nervous, I hadn't practiced siva afi since I was here in June of 1996, right after graduation. Even then, it was pretty scary; after all, we _were_ playin' with fire—and a sharp knife to boot. The Islanders said that if you had courage and believed the fire couldn't harm you, then you would come away unscathed. _Yeah, right ... I believe—in a pig's eye! _Although, in all the years that Kapono twirled that fire stick, he never once got burnt, huh ...

Just like he promised, Kapono had ringside seats reserved for us. It was fun seeing the expressions on Bella's face as each dance unfolded. Kapono finally came out, for the Samoan section, all slathered up in oil with a group of other men doin' the Fa'ataupati or Samoan Slap Dance.

I heard him yell, _Tasi, lua, tolu fa!_ Then the fun began. I always got a kick outta' seeing him clown around while he slapped himself silly. That dance was my cue to get hoppin'. I walked to the rear of the audience, and stripped off my shirt.

Watching carefully, I never let my eyes leave him as the flames formed a circular orbit, in front and around him. He was nearly finished with the routine, when he peered directly at me and nodded. That was my signal. With a loud _Choo hoo!_, the blazing knife sailed over the heads of the crowd. I caught it easily enough, and decided to impress my new bride. I twirled it about my head, and behind my back a few times. Meanwhile, another guy tossed him a second knife. As it revolved around Kapono, I flung the first one back to him. I gazed over at Bella, who was standing by her seat, with her mouth open, obviously astounded.

I returned to her side, slipping my arms back into the sleeves of my shirt. I didn't get it buttoned all the way before I got a hero's welcome—two small hands grasping my neck, and a kiss for the victor. Smirking when I sat down, Rebecca immediately knocked me off my pedestal. She shoved me sideways, jostling me with her shoulder, adding a snarky, "Show off!"

* * *

The entertainment was over, and Kapono after changing into his _civvies,_ walked with us circling the villas. The whole time, Bella couldn't contain her excitement. The words were _pouring_ out of her usually quiet mouth.

"Oh my gosh, I thought I was going to have a stroke when you threw that knife into the crowd. How did you know that Jacob could catch it? Did you teach him to do that too? What about the slap dance?"

Kapono's eyebrows lifted. "Your man has talents. He could almost be an Islander, yeah?

"And I saw you kiss the boy. The audience loved it. No question about that. It was ono, ono! We could use you two in our show. We have plenty coconuts and pineapples to pay you."

She quickly turned to me breathlessly, spouting, "But honestly, Jake, can you do that slapping, clapping thing? That was so cool. Why didn't you tell me about this? Holy cow, I was proud of you."

Covering her lips for a moment, her hand then fell away, and she back pedaled. "Oh and you too, Al. I didn't mean to ignore you. That fire knife juggling was absolutely incredible. My gosh, you were controlling two knives at once. How long did you have to practice to get that good? Doesn't that fire scare you even a little bit though? Have you ever gotten burned?"

Kapono shook his head, laughing. I just shrugged. I'd never seen her like this before.

Bella looked between the two of us, then directed her gaze at Rebecca. "What?"

My sister was tucked into her husband's side. She slowly lifted her head from Kapono's broad shoulder. "I think they're just happy to see you enjoyed yourself."

"Oh, I did ... I really did. I'd never seen anything like that before. The show was wonderful."

* * *

Rebecca and her Hawaiian guy, dropped us off at our room, and said goodnight. We walked through the door and Bella was still goin' on about my many _virtues_.

"How come you never mentioned that you could surf or control a fire stick, or do any of that stuff?"

I bent over slightly, and removed a hibiscus from her hair. "Well, I didn't want you to think I was bragging."

"But Jake, it's not bragging if it's the truth. By the way, you still didn't tell me if you can do that _smack_ dance."

I took her in my arms. "That's slap dance, honey, but I've got one better—it's the Quileute courting dance."

"Really? I didn't realize there was such a—"

She swallowed the next set of words, as I kissed her in Quileute fashion—a swappin' spit, Jacob Black attack. Bella was rendered speechless, how 'bout that? I carefully lay her on the mattress as I continued _courting_ her. The only sounds she made for the next half hour were the sounds of a woman in the throes of passion.

* * *

Bella was back to her previous speech patterns by the next morning. It was a beautiful day, so we ate outside on the patio.

"Hey, Jake, after we've lived in La Push for a few years, do you think we could build a house near the beach, just like this? Watching and listening to the waves washing up on the shore ... it's soothing, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. It'd be great as long as we were far enough back from the beach so the rains wouldn't carry us out to sea."

"Oh, crap, I didn't think about that."

I squeezed her tightly. "Well, we could build on an overlooking hill. That way, the view of the ocean would always be outside our window."

She sighed, leaning against me. "That sounds wonderful. I can't wait."

Looking down at her plate, I noticed she hadn't eaten all of her sweet roll. I pointed to the remaining piece of pastry. "Aren't you gonna finish that?"

"No, I'm full."

I picked it up, lifting it to my mouth.

She straightened in her seat. "You're really going to eat that?"

"Sure, sure, why not?"

"Holy cow, you're going to explode. You've already downed three of them."

I shot her a wink. "You ain't seen nothin' yet, honey. Just watch me."

* * *

The weather was perfect today for a jaunt around the island. This was our last chance to see it before returning to the mainland. Admittedly tho', I just wanted to stop the car and stare at my girl. Can you blame me? The windows of the vehicle were wide open, and Bella's mahogany tresses were blowin' about madly. She was a picture of natural beauty.

After circling Oahu, we spent the rest of the day near the ocean outside our villa. It was quiet and peaceful. We lay under an umbrella and listened to the sea as it rushed onto the shore. We didn't say much, just soaked up every last drop of the Hawaiian ambience.

When the sun sunk below the horizon, we strolled barefoot, hand in hand along the water's edge, 'til the time was fast approaching for our dinner reservation. I had invited my sister, Kapono and Ephraim to join us at the restaurant, but Rebecca said, "Jake, I love you, but this is your last night here with Bella. I think you should spend that time alone with each other. There'll be other times, and believe me, I'll take you up on it. So I'll take a rain check, okay?"

"Becca, you're the best. I planned on droppin' off the car afterwards. Can you or Al drive us back."

"Sure, no problem. And don't forget, I'll be there tomorrow at 11:00 A.M. to take you to the airport. Kapono has to work, so you'll have to say your goodbyes to him tonight."

"See you tonight then."

* * *

Bella picked at her food; her mouth didn't open much to speak either. I tried to lighten the mood, but to no avail.

Suddenly, she put her fork down. "I wish we were dead."

I immediately reached out with my hand, grabbing her wrist. "No, Bells, you can't mean that."

"Yes, I do. I wish we were dead, and this was heaven, so we wouldn't have to leave it behind. We'd be bound to each other, and would never be separated again—ever."

Kissing her palm, I said, "Now that part, I agree with. I want you always by my side."

Canting her head, she groaned, "Why does everything good have to end?

"I hate it, Jake. You're going back to war in a few days. I'll miss you so bad. I can't even remember how to live without you."

"Honey, think about this. When my tour is over, nothing can tear us apart. It would take a crowbar to peel me away from you. So see, you havta look forward to my homecoming. You need to stock up on sexy lingerie, move to La Push, get us a new apartment ... You'll be so busy, you won't have _time_ to miss me."

Did I really believe all this bullsh**, or was I just trying to convince myself? Every word she said smashed into my heart like a wrecking ball. I'd better cheat death one more time. If I didn't make it home, the grief would crush her to a powder.

* * *

Kapono managed to cheer up my despondent wife, and by the time we reached Tiki Moon, she was laughing, and pulling me into bed with her.

After another night of honeymoon bliss, we were both packin' to make the trip to Phoenix. We ate one last breakfast at the picnic table, and took pictures of the beach and the garden. At 11:00 o'clock sharp, Rebecca pulled up, and we loaded up the car with our luggage.

Bella snapped a picture of me with Rebecca and Ephraim. She gave the camera to my sister who then got a photo of my sweetheart and me in the courtyard. As we drove away from the Tiki Moon, I heard Bella sigh, and murmur, "Aloha, Hawaii, aloha."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35: Aloha 'Oe

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

BPOV:

The restaurant was beautiful, but somehow, I had no appetite, thinking ahead to when Jacob would have to leave me. Being here with him, having him for my own was something only dreams were made of. And this place—it was magical, like heaven. That's when the thought struck me, and I said it out loud.

"I wish we were dead."

He was horrified, but that wasn't my meaning. I wanted this place to remain with us, not in memories, but in reality. This was paradise, but only if we were here together, body and soul. When it got to be time for him to board that plane, I'd be dumped back in hell, waiting for the day when I could see his face again—that black hair, that thousand kilowatt smile, those dark penetrating eyes.

I realized what a killjoy I was being, but I couldn't help it. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wished that there was some way, he could stay home, and forget about Iraq.

In his own matter of fact way, he tried to get me to look forward to his homecoming, rather than his departure. But they were just words—I knew it and so did he.

* * *

Wallowing in a sad mood was impossible with Kapono around, however. He could lighten up a room without his fire knife. He told us a story—mostly in pidgin—of how he and his brother, Tawa, went out to do some crabbing one day. They were out for quite a while, and his family of three younger brothers and two sisters, were at home with their parents and grandmother, anxiously awaiting the haul for their dinner.

Kapono acted out the story, exaggerating every movement. He placed one hand on his forehead, pretending to shield his eyes. "My sistah, LauKau spotted us lugging a biiig basket, big enough for a lot of some crabs. Tawa and I were bent over carrying such a load."

He leaned down, with one hand grasping the handle on the imaginary container. His head weaved back and forth, and he huffed and puffed in feigned exertion, his feet shuffling heavily. "We trudged on to the house and set the basket on the counter. My tutu, she _looked_ in the basket, and shook her head in so much surprise."

Here, Kapono put a finger in the air. "My tutu did not see a lot of some crabs, but only one manini scared little crustacean. Tawa and I had to run out of the house, as Tutu chased us with her broom. My sweet okole got the worst of it—I could not sit down for two days."

He yelled, chasing Ephraim around the couch. Catching him, he sat his son on his lap, and stared at Jacob. "LauKau sooo mean; she even more moke than you, brah. She used to call us, the _one crab wonders_."

Everyone roared with laughter, including me.

Rebecca remarked, "You've told that story hundreds of times, hun."

Kapono winked at her. "And you still laughing—eeeevery time."

I looked to Rebecca and asked, "Did this really happen, or is he making it up?"

She threw up her hands. "Who knows?"

Ephraim, in his little voice asked, "Daddy, what about the crab?"

"The crab ... k'den. Well, it crawled on the counter and fell into da sink, landing in Tutu's cake batter. She put it in oven and baked it."

The little boy's eyes gleamed as he listened to his father. "Really?"

Kapono's brows knit together, and looking serious, he spouted, "Fo reals. Haven't you ever eaten Tutu's _crab cakes_?"

A big smile lit up his face as we all groaned. Rebecca chided him, rolling her eyes. "Oh ... Al, that was so bad."

The grin on his face grew wider. "Not soooo bad; a little crunchy, maybe ..."

"Ohhhhh!" we all groaned again.

When we got ready to leave, Kapono said, "This is not goodbye, but aloha. We'll see you again, yeah."

He caught me in a bear hug before I could get to the door, squeezing the life out of me, and did the same to Jacob. The man didn't know his own strength.

* * *

Thankfully, Kapono's antics put me in a better frame of mine, and when Jacob sat on the bed, giving me that look, I was ready for him. This was still our honeymoon, and I didn't want my _honey, _mooning over my bad mood.

* * *

Eating a leisurely breakfast on the patio, I closed my eyes and breathed in, memorizing the smell of the salt air mingled with the tropical flowers blooming in the courtyard. I rolled a slice of papaya I had placed on my tongue, tasting the flavor, and admiring its texture. I listened intently to the waves lapping at the shore, and felt the cool breeze brushing whisper-soft against my skin. Then opening my eyes, I took in the view of the vast turquoise ocean spread before me—Hawaii, truly a paradise on earth.

Jacob nudged me gently. "Bells, we gotta go pack. You ready?"

A big sigh escaped. No, I wasn't ready to leave, not today, not tomorrow—not in a million years. He got up from the table and stood behind me, putting his hand on my shoulder. I clutched it tightly, leaning my head to the side imprisoning it his other arm wound around my waist, he pulled me against him, whispering. "I don't wanna leave this place either, but I promise you, I'll bring you back here someday."

* * *

With the bags all loaded in Rebecca's car, I took one last glimpse of the Tiki Moon. The car slowly backed out of the parking space, and as we turned about to start down the road, I lamented, "Aloha, Hawaii, aloha."

Rebecca stayed with us until our flight was ready to be boarded. Ephraim fell asleep in his seat, snuggled up to his Uncle Jacob's shoulder. My sweetheart lifted him carefully and handed him to Rebecca. She gave Jacob a one armed hug. "We'll be seeing you at Christmas. Tell Rachel and Dad, I said so. Al and I will save up the money to visit, even if we have to starve to do it."

The overhead PA system suddenly blared—the message clear that we had to get on board our plane. We waved to Rebecca, and were on our way.

Jacob and I hardly spoke on the long flight, but we did sneak in a few kisses, and the whole time, my fingers were interlaced with his. What was there to say? I was so choked up, nothing would come out of my mouth. All I could think about was his leaving me. Three more lousy days—that's all that was left for us.

I tried not to, but my mind drifted to that horrible possibility that maybe these last few days _would_ be our last. Jacob clenched my hand tighter. I knew he was grappling with that thought too.

* * *

Renting a car and picking up our luggage took forever. It was going on 9:45 when we finally reached the Fiesta Inn.

I helped Jacob stow the bags in the room. At the same time, I was feeling a little awkward. Now that we were man and wife, was I supposed to go home, bring Michel over here, or what? Leaning against the desk in the room, I said, "Poor Michel, he must think I've abandoned him."

He walked straight toward me, and peering intensely into my eyes, answered, "I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I told your dad we'd be gone for two weeks. He doesn't know we're here yet.

"Bells ... I know you want to see Mikie. I do too—I really miss him, but in three more days I have to go back. Maybe I'm being selfish, but would it upset you too much to stay here with me—alone? I don't wanna share you with Michel right now. I just can't. When our three days are up, he'll have you all to himself, 'til I return.

"So, whaddya think? You're not mad at me, are you?"

"How could I be mad at you? I can't blame you for feeling that way. I _want_ to stay with you. Michel will be fine for a few more days."

His arms were immediately open to me. "C'mere, sweetheart." He nuzzled the side of my neck, murmuring, "Thank you, honey. God, I love you."

* * *

The next three days were perfectly wonderful, and yet perfectly awful. That little hint of his impending departure hung like a cloud over our happiness, and we couldn't shake it.

On the last day we had together, he told me something that pierced me to my core. We were at Riazzi's eating lunch when he broached the subject. "You know, Bells, I had another reason why I wanted us to get married so fast. I mean yeah, I wanted you badly, and Hawaii is a lovers' paradise and all that, but the thing is, if anything should happen to me ..."

"Don't _say_ that," I nearly shouted. Several of the other customers looked our way. Jacob gestured, patting the air in an attempt to make me lower my voice.

"I realize you don't want to hear this, but I have to say it. Things happen, and no matter how careful I am, there is a possibility that I won't make it back. And being my wife, you and Mikie will be taken care of. You'll have my benefits."

I shook my head, trying to rid it of that thought. "I don't want your benefits; I want you home alive, and loving me."

"Well, I want that too, honey, more than anything in this world. I just needed to be sure that you and Mikie would be provided for, just in case."

"No ... I won't accept that. You're coming home to me; that's all there is to it, and that's an order."

Reaching across the table, he took my hand. He gave me a two finger salute with his opposite hand, and with a half smile, conceded, "Yes, ma'am!"

* * *

The air that night was thick with emotion—the desperate kind. Jacob and I were beside ourselves clinging to these last precious moments. We were under the sheets; heated kisses and caresses burning them with our love for each other.

As suddenly as his passion started, it vanished. His hands slowed down and finally halted their progress. Jacob was steeped in shame and apologies.

He touched my cheek and kissed me tenderly. "I'm so sorry, honey. I ... I ... I can't. I don't understand. I was ready just a minute ago. I don't know what happened."

"I do," I murmured. "You're under all this pressure, knowing that this could be the last time we'll be loving each other until your return. I understand, and I'm not upset. Just hold me, okay?"

His hand began roaming toward my trigger spot, and I grabbed it to stop him.

He propped himself on one elbow. "I don't want to leave you like this. Don't you wanna finish?"

"No, not unless you're going to finish with me." I turned toward him, and placed his hand at the small of my back, inching closer.

"You're sure you don't want to—"

"I'm sure," I told him.

Sometime in the early morning hours, I felt Jacob nuzzling my shoulder and neck. I woke up, feeling my stomach tighten, and tingles emanating from my core. Our previous lovemaking session had been merely postponed, and was obviously on again. This time with heightened senses, our bittersweet union overwhelmed us both, and we clung to each other, with hitching breaths, as our heartbeats slowed to normal.

* * *

With our rental car packed, we made a detour at my house, dropping off my luggage. Jacob didn't want me to be dragging them all over the airport. As he set the bags in my bedroom, I looked around at the familiar walls and furniture. It seemed strange being back home, with no one in the house. Mom and Dad were at work, and Michel was no doubt at the baby sitters.

I begrudgingly got into the vehicle with Jacob. Too soon in my estimation, we arrived at Terminal Three at Sky Harbor, had the rental car squared away, and his baggage checked in. I sat beside him at the boarding gate, with a lump in my throat the size of Texas. It was tough trying to get the words out of my mouth without falling apart. Poor Jacob—his body was as taut as the head on a snare drum, and there was a muscle twitching in his jaw. He was fighting for control too. He still managed to wind his arm around me, and hold my hand. I only wished that he'd never let it go.

It was horrible. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but couldn't—not without sobbing my heart out. This was ten times worse than the last time we were separated, because with every passing day I spent with him, he became all the more dear to me.

Jacob whispered in my ear as the time for departure got closer. "You gonna be okay?"

Sighing loudly, I whimpered, "No."

He let out a nervous laugh. "Me neither, but I'll damn well try."

"Kiss me, Jake. Make me forget that we're here."

My soldier smiled and winked at me. "In front of all these people?"

"I don't care. They don't exist as far as I'm concerned."

I wasn't fooled one bit. He didn't care either; he was just attempting to keep his tears at bay.

He leaned over the arm of the chair to grant my request, when the loud speaker announced that it was time to line up. I jolted in my seat, my stomach careening down to my shoes. Jacob stood up, and gathered me into his arms.

We walked together to where the line was forming, tagging along at the end of it. Tightening his hold on me, Jacob pressed his lips to mine, and our mouths moved together over and over, but still not quite long enough. He broke the kiss, and leaned his forehead against mine. I listened to each breath he took, my heart aching at the sound.

The stewardess said something that I didn't pay attention to, and the line began to move.

Jacob moved away from me, as he got to the boarding bridge. "This is it, honey. I'm sorry I have to go. I love you. I'll write just as soon as I can."

The tears started, I couldn't control them a second longer. "I love you, Jake. Please come back to me."

He nodded and forced a smile. "See you soon, Mrs. Black."

Backing up a few steps, he waved, then turned and proceeded down the corridor to the waiting airplane.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Bittersweet

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

JPOV:

We all sat together at the gate hanging around for the call to board—Rebecca and Ephraim, Bella and me. My little nephew was a veritable rubber ball, bouncing from window to window, excited to watch the planes land and take off. Eventually, nap time crept up on him, and pooped out, he fell asleep on the seat next to me. His small head rested on my shoulder, and I could hear his even breathing as he slept peacefully. He reminded me of Michel. I ran my fingers through his soft hair, wondering if that little guy in Tempe had forgotten about me after all this time.

The plane pulled onto the apron, and we were instructed to get our boarding passes ready. I pulled Ephraim toward me, lifting him gently, and lowered him into Rebecca's waiting arms. My sister was all teary-eyed again, as she gave us each a one-armed hug. She did promise to visit La Push for Christmas, and she sounded certain that it would happen. Dad and Rachel would go berserk when they hear that news.

Throughout the flight, I kept one arm around the sweetest woman in the world, and my free hand clasped tightly about hers. God, I wished I never had to let go.

We were both quiet—which was a first for me, but my heart was in chaos. All that baloney about looking forward to my homecoming was just that—baloney. Gettin' shot at and maybe buying the Iraqi farm was a thought that rattled around in my brain like a ricocheting bullet.

I wondered, what she was thinking; probably the same thing. That's what had her tongue out of commission. I didn't blame her one bit. Anything we uttered now would seem hollow at best. And if she started crying, no doubt I'd be blubbering like a baby too.

My mind was in overdrive, pondering what I had done. Was it wrong of me to marry her and possibly make her a widow in the next few weeks? Although we'd been so happy, would it be worth it in the long run? I squeezed her hand more snugly, holding onto a flesh and blood reality as long as possible.

These horrific thoughts were suddenly crowded out by the memories of the last ten days we spent together—my heart completely overriding my brain. No, they were a treasure trove of happiness. It was worth it, even if it lasted only a few precious days. Even if we only had an hour, it would've been worth every single second. I turned my head and looked at her; at the same time her head canted toward me. Our eyes locked, and silently spoke what was in our hearts. I love you—today, tomorrow and forever. You're everything to me.

She parted her lips slightly, inviting me to trespass, and I did—every opportunity I got was taken up with kissing and caressing her. I was surprised that the stewardesses didn't yell at us to cut it out. Our PDA was bordering on an R rating. If the seats were a little roomier, I'd have her on my lap, straddling me.

When the plane landed, we were both a little punchy, and we still had to retrieve our luggage and rent a car. We headed to the Fiesta Inn. I had made reservations there, since it held such fond memories for the two of us. By the time we got there, it was nearly 10 P.M., and after bringing all our luggage into the room, Bella suddenly seemed uncertain about what she expected from me, and rightly so. Our relationship had changed dramatically, and I knew she had some serious considerations about the next three days in question. The most important question being, what about Michel? She was after all, a mother wanting to see her son. Truthfully, I missed the little bugger too, but I didn't want him encroaching on our intimate time together—not just yet. I needed to be alone with my wife, and I needed her to understand that.

I'd held off speaking to her about it, but I couldn't do that any longer. She leaned back against the writing desk, looking uncomfortable. Her next comment led right into the discussion I had in mind. "Poor Michel, he must think I've abandoned him."

With that opening, I could explain my feelings and justification for leaving him with her parents for the last few days of our honeymoon. I hoped she would accept what I was about to say without any anger on her part.

I looked straight into her eyes, and bluntly put it to her. "I don't wanna share you with Mikie right now. I just can't."

It was such a relief to hear her answer. She agreed with me one hundred percent. We both relaxed at that moment and were instantly in each other's arms.

* * *

Although we tried pretending that the day would never arrive, my impending departure threw a pall over all the moments we had together. Each touch was precious; every word she uttered was emblazoned on my mind. It was a bittersweet time in my life.

While at Riazzi's on our last full day, I confessed to Bella that I had yet another, less obvious reason for rushing into marriage. I wanted to be certain that she and Michel would be entitled to my benefits if I should die in Iraq. Hooh boy, Bella came unglued, yelling, "Don't say that!" It was so loud the kitchen help probably heard it.

I still didn't regret telling her. My new bride had to be prepared in that event. I'd been lucky so far, but sometimes your luck inevitably ran out.

She bellowed at me like a drill sergeant, ordering me to come back to her.

"Yes, Ma'am," I promptly responded. I hoped with all my heart that I could carry out that order.

* * *

I was so tense that night, knowing that this could be the last time I would be able to physically love her. That worry ruined the atmosphere, and I was rendered impotent. It was a guy's worst nightmare. Here I was, maybe never to see her again, and aching to make love with her just one more time, and I couldn't. At first, our encounter was so intense, I thought the sheets would catch fire, but then it was like the spigot had just suddenly turned off. We'd been married for less than two weeks. This was our freakin' honeymoon for Pete's sake; why did this have to happen?

My face burned with humiliation; I was devastated to think I couldn't satisfy my wife. But Bella was wiser than me, and realized what the hell happened. She spelled out all the facts—I was under a weight of extreme pressure—worrying about her, my own safety, and being separated. It was no wonder I couldn't relax and do _what comes naturally_. Okay, I could accept that, but I still couldn't leave her hanging. It wasn't her fault. When I attempted to finish the job, and get her off, she stopped me cold, pulling my hand away from her.

I was confused, 'cuz I knew she was aroused. "Don't you wanna finish," I asked.

Her answer surprised me. "No, not unless you're going to finish with me."

Bella had said she wanted me to hold her, so I did. In fact, we clung to each other all night, 'til the wee morning hours, when I began to feel the stirrings of passion rising within me. I couldn't let this opportunity slip by us, and so, I gently slid my nose along her shoulder and neck, coaxing her to wake up. Bella was alert immediately, responding to my advances, and this time, we completed our previous unsuccessful attempt at lovin' each other.

* * *

Packing up our things was hard. Bella was all misty-eyed. I knew she was doing her damndest not to break down, but the slump in her shoulders, and the sad expression on her face left little doubt as to her feelings. I gathered up all the bags and arranged them in the trunk of the car. When I stepped foot back inside the room, I looked around memorizing it, then swept my sweetheart into my arms for another embrace. I topped it off with a kiss, and a murmured, "I love you, Bells."

She choked out, "I love you too."

With the luggage secured, I drove to Bella's home and dropped them off. There was no sense in her lugging all that unnecessary baggage all over the airport.

* * *

My heart stuttered as the airport loomed ahead of us. After the car got taken care of, I checked in my bags. That's when reality began settling as heavy as a boulder on me. I glanced at Bella; the weight of this situation was dragging her down too. Determined not to drag her down further, I smiled for all the good it did.

After getting off the moving sidewalk, I noticed a shop selling cinnamon buns. Maybe this would be one good memory of an otherwise gloomy day. The aroma from the baking oven was heavenly. "Whaddya say, Bells? Wanna cinnamon roll?"

"I can never eat a whole one," she remarked. "I don't like wasting food."

I patted my stomach. "Don't worry, you won't be wasting any of it."

Pulling out a chair from one of the tables, I let her sit while I bought each of us a roll.

Watching Bella eat a cinnamon bun was fascinating. She delicately uncoiled a piece at a time with her fingertips, and devoured it little by little. Mine was consumed in three quick bites.

"Are you sure you tasted yours," she teased.

Bella took another bite, and I got outta my chair, leaned down, and kissed her while she was still chewing. "Yeah," I sighed. "That tastes great."

* * *

We sat at gate 14, awaiting my flight. I had my arm around Bella and her hand gripped in mine. My muscles were clenched so tight, I felt like I would pop like a compressed spring at any minute. The very air we breathed was chock full of the tension between us. I didn't think our separation could hurt any worse than the last one; I was wrong. Since being so close to her, being married to her—the pain was that much stronger this time.

Both of us were too emotional to speak. What would be the point anyway? It would just bring us to tears.

It was nearly time to board, when I asked her, "You gonna be okay?"

"No," she answered quickly.

Well, I wasn't either, but for her sake, I held it together.

She asked me to kiss her. In response, I joked about people staring at us to lighten up the mood. It fell flat. The announcement to board the aircraft blared over the PA system at that moment, a jolting interruption to her appealing demand. Walking as slow as possible, we latched onto the end of the line. With my arms wound around her, I clutched her to me as close as I could, and kissed her sweet lips for the last time. The line began to shuffle toward the jet bridge, so I broke our kiss and leaned my forehead against hers, inhaling her scent and feeling her smooth skin next to mine. The line disappeared, and I couldn't stay there any longer; so finally, I stepped back, and said, "This is it, honey. I'm sorry, I have to go. I love you. I'll write just as soon as I can."

I was doin'okay ... in control, or so I thought, 'til the tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I love you, Jake. Please come back to me." That simple statement nearly brought me to my knees.

I took a deep breath, and coerced the corners of my mouth to turn up into a smile. I nodded at Bella, and said, "See you soon, Mrs. Black."

I backed up a few more steps, waved, and turned onto the bridge, and away from the love of my life.

* * *

It was almost a relief to get on the plane. I just wanted to get this over with, so I could be back in her arms again

There was a layover in New York, then on to Iraq. I fell asleep during the flight, and woke up to a nightmare—the Middle East, specifically Kuwait.

I'd forgotten how damn hot it was in this freakin' desert after being in Hawaii for two weeks. The suffocating heat enveloped me like an unwanted blanket as I changed planes. The transport set down on the landing strip at Warhorse, and I trudged wearily to my CHU. Already was there to greet me.

"So, stranger, how'd it go?"

I threw my duffle and rucksack against the wall, and held up my hand, displaying my wedding band.

Dale shoved me playfully. "Holy sh**! You mean you're married ... already?"

"Didn't wanna waste a good spot for a honeymoon."

"I gotta hand it to you, Scrapper. You didn't waste any time either."

Cocking an eyebrow, he asked, "And did everything go okay with both of you?"

"Yeah, it was perfect ... but now I'm here."

"Hey, that makes two of us. I feel your pain, buddy. I have a little baby girl at home that I haven't even seen yet. I'm just waiting for the day. Pam says she has red curly hair just like me."

"Poor kid. But it could be worse."

"What are you saying?"

"That your kid could be a boy."

Shaking his finger at me, Dale grumbled, "You are gonna pay for that, pal. I'm gonna sic Bull on you. I'd do it now, but I gotta suit up in another ten minutes, so I'll let you catch up on your sleep first."

I sunk down on the mattress, and drifted off immediately. I didn't even hear Dale as he slipped outta the CHU.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37: Collateral Damage

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

JPOV:

Two days later I was strapped in beside Mac, wreaking havoc on the insurgents. Ambush Alley, Fallujah, Kirkut, and ass and trash runs—same old, same old. It kept me busy though, so I wasn't dwelling on that little brunette of mine. The nights in the following week however, were a different story. I was so lonely, and missed her like crazy.

One night in particular, I dreamed I was back in Hawaii with my sweetheart, and I woke up feeling amorous, if you get my drift. I realized then, that I was hugging my pillow, and looked around at our miserable CHU. Already was asleep in the other bunk. All at once, the realization of my loss hit me, and the tears followed.

Dale woke to my sobbing, and I was embarrassed as all get out, but I just couldn't stop. He trotted over to my bunk. "Scrapper, you okay."

I couldn't talk, my throat was knotted tight. I sat up at the edge of my cot, hanging my head, and covering my face with my hands.

My roommate seated himself beside me. It wasn't hard for him to figure out what the matter was, and he put his arms around me. "Hey, buddy. Go ahead and cry. I know just how you feel."

I finally muttered, "I'm sorry, Dale. I thought I was doin' all right, but I guess I was only fooling myself."

He patted my back. "It's okay. It was bound to catch up with you sooner or later. You know, I broke down a couple of times myself, while we were in training. It's hard leaving the woman you love behind. I'm counting the days until I can see my Pam again."

I looked up at the sympathetic redhead. "How can you stand it, Dale."

"One day at a time. We're that much closer to returning home. That's the only thing that keeps me going."

* * *

BPOV:

The plane left the ground, but I could barely make it out, my eyes were so clouded with tears. I caught a taxi at the curb, and headed home. Once there, I went inside and unpacked my things. My waterworks started up again when I pulled out the feathered clip that Jacob put in my hair on our wedding day.

After I finished arranging all my clothes in the dresser and closet, I set our wedding photos on top of the nightstand. It was minus the one that Jacob had taken with him. It was the one where Jacob and I were facing each other, and the photographer kept coaxing us to look at the camera. That was his favorite—mine too, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that he couldn't take it.

I sat on my rocking chair, staring at the little gold band on my left ring finger. _Come back to me, Jake. You've got to come_ _back to me. I can't live without you._

Several minutes passed, and I was still sitting there feeling sorry for myself, but what about poor Jacob? He had it far worse, so with renewed determination, I got off my butt, grabbed my car keys and purse, and went to pick up Michel.

When I walked through the babysitter's door, Michel squealed, "Mommy, mommy!" His tiny legs pumped wildly as he ran across the floor and jumped into my outstretched arms. My heart swelled at seeing him, and I hugged him tight and kissed his little face off.

I had dinner all done and on the table by the time Mom and Dad arrived. It was quite a chore since Michel kept holding onto me. I guess he was scared I was going to leave him again.

That evening, Mom and Dad oohed and ahhed over the professional photos.

My mother sat with the photos on her lap. Her response was surprisingly positive. My dad must've talked to her. "My goodness, Bella, these are beautiful. That Jacob is some handsome devil too. Doesn't he ever take a bad picture?"

"Not on that day. His grin was so bright. It could light up all of Kauai. By the way, one day the electricity was out over the whole island. Can you believe that?"

My father leaned over the back of the couch where Mom was sitting. "That's too bad. What did you guys do all day?"

I looked down, biting on my bottom lip. "Um ... that's kind of censored, Dad."

Mom laughed, and tilted her head back to glance at my father.

His head jerked up, when he realized my meaning, his face a mask of red. "Oh."

With an eye roll, Mom snorted, "Don't be such a prude, Charlie. It's okay, they're married."

"I know that," he retorted. "It's just ... oh, never mind." He walked off to read the newspaper, clearly embarrassed.

Soon it was time to put Michel to bed, only this night, I decided to get ready myself, and let my son fall asleep cuddled next to me. When I was sure he was out completely, I lay him in his crib, kissing his cheek softly. Before I got into bed, I went down on my knees and prayed with all my might to keep my Jacob safe.

School started the next day, so it was back to books, working, taking care of Michel, and worrying about my soldier boy, so far away, and all alone in Iraq.

* * *

JPOV:

Things were back to normal—if havin' people shooting at you is ever normal. Anyway, I was in Falujah to see Nadeedah, and if the scarf I'd ordered from her was done. I spotted her carrying her basket out of that shop on the corner. She dropped the container on the ground. "Lieutenant Jacob," she shouted, waving frantically.

I sauntered toward her. "Hey, DeeDee, how's business?"

Nodding, she smiled, and said, "Business much good. But I miss you. I think you leave DeeDee here and go back home." She bent down to her basket and handed me a beautifully embroidered scarf on sheer black fabric.

"Damn, girl. This is some fine work." I gave her a high five. "But, nah, I couldn't leave my best girl without saying goodbye. Besides, I thought maybe I might send for you when I get back there."

I thought her eyes were gonna pop out of her head. "Oh ... Lieutenant Jacob, I love you."

"I love you too, DeeDee."

"You bring me to America. You marry DeeDee. I be a good wife, not spend money, cook for you, wash clothes for you."

I shook my head. "Whoa ... whoa. Uh, no, sweetie, you have the wrong idea."

Nadeedah frowned, her head canted. "Why? You not married. You love DeeDee. You say so."

"I can't marry you. In the first place, you're still a child. You need to grow and mature into a woman. I thought maybe you could marry one of the other guys in La Push, when you get a little older."

Her voice took on a whiny tone. "No, DeeDee never marry other man. DeeDee only love Lieutenant Jacob."

I was desperate for her to grasp my meaning. "I do love you, DeeDee, but my love for you is different. I love you like a little sister. Are you gettin' what I'm tellin' you? Do you understand?"

"I _not_ too young! You marry me ... please. You not be sorry. I take care of you."

She came closer, and snaked her arms around my neck. On tiptoe, she pressed her lips to mine. Gently, I pushed her away. "No, honey. This is not right."

Raising my hand, I showed her my ring. "DeeDee ... I got married while I was gone on furlough. I already have a wife. I'm sorry."

Backing up, her face crumpled, her eyes moist. She turned and ran, tripping over her basket, shrieking, "No ... no!"

I stood, dumbfounded. I looked down at the scarves, all still neatly bundled in the basket sitting there. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two young Iraqi men giving me the stink eye, as Kapono would say. I guess in their minds, I deserved it.

I picked up the woven container, bringing it with me into the shop and asked the storekeeper to safeguard it for Nadeedah. The lady nodded like she understood. I gestured to her that I needed a pen and paper. I quickly scrawled a note of apology to her:

_Dear Nadeedah,_

_I'm sorry I hurt you. I never meant for that to happen. I hope you find someone else to love, like you love me. Please stay as sweet as you are. There is someone out there, just waiting for you. In the meantime, can we remain as friends? I would still like to bring you to America after my tour if you want to go._

_I know you feel like your heart is broken now, but it will heal, I promise you. Please forgive me._

_Your friend,_

_Jacob_

I walked on to meet with the other guys for lunch, but I felt like such a heel. Did I lead her on? For Pete's sake, she was just a little girl yet.

* * *

The Three Moosketeers plus one, sauntered down the streets of Fallujah on the way back to our jeep. I wanted to go by that street corner to see if Nadeedah had gone back and seen my note. There were Iraqi police parked in front of the shop. I saw a familiar guy walking toward me. It was the marine we sprung from the POW compound months ago—John, I think his name was.

"Well, isn't this a coincidence? It's Jacob Black, right?"

"Yeah, what's goin' on?"

"I'm glad I found you. I believe this is yours."

He handed me my silver wings.

I started to feel uneasy. "Where did you get this?"

"There was a scuffle going on behind the shop, and I heard a girl screaming. I went to investigate, and saw two men with her. They took off when they saw me, but it was too late. They'd already done their worst. The girl told me to find you and give it to you."

"What? Why? Is she still there? I've gotta see her."

John grabbed me, holding me back. "Hold on, soldier, it's not a pretty sight."

I tore away from him, and he and my buddies trailed after me. There on the ground, behind the shop, lay my little friend, beaten and bleeding. Her throat had been slashed. I gazed at her eyes, now glassy with a silvery hue, her pupils wide open and lifeless. I knelt down, reached for her hand, and sighed in pain as I saw my picture clutched within it. My note lay beside her in the dirt, spattered with her blood.

With my voice just above a whisper, I wondered out loud, "She was just a little girl. Who would do such a thing?"

John crouched next to me. "I speak some Iraqi, so I asked the shopkeeper the same question. She said the girl's brothers saw her kiss you, and had seen her talking to you on several occasions before that. They felt she was a traitor to her people, selling secrets to the enemy. And to save the family's honor, it was up to them to punish her."

"So my helping her, did nothing but cause her death? I ... I ... can't understand this. What is wrong with these people? God ... I hate this place—I hate it!"

Embry in his quiet manner, put his hand on my shoulder. "This isn't our way, Jake. We're not in La Push. This is their country. Even though we don't agree, we have to accept it, and go on with our own lives.

"Quil, Esau and I will go get the jeep. That'll give you some time to stay with her. The police look like they're anxious to remove her body too. I'll be back in five minutes."

John went over to talk to the police. They'd been milling about, glancing at me every now and then, but I didn't care. Where were they when she needed their help? The freakin' vultures!

Before I got up off my knees, I took my silver wings out of my pocket and re-pinned it on her chador. I kissed her cheek just as Embry came round the corner to get me. "Rest in peace, Nadeedah. See you soon."

The whole way back to Warhorse, one thought swam round and round in my brain in a continual loop_. She was just a little girl. Why did she havta die? She was just a little girl ..._

* * *

Word got around fast that the girl who saved my life was killed by her own brothers. I was still reeling from the fact, when the next day at chow, Bull sat across from us, and heard the story repeated. With his mouth stuffed with food, the swine commented, "Well, ya know, there's always going to be some collateral damage. Better her than us."

Through gritted teeth, I yelled, "She was an innocent girl, a human being—and now she's dead."

He looked at me straight on, and deadpanned, "Like I said, collateral damage!"

That did it! I sailed over the table, knocking dishes, and utensils aside. Drinks were spilled, and food splattered everywhere. I grabbed him by the collar, knocking him backward outta his chair. It took four guys to haul me off of him. I think I would've killed him if the other guys hadn't been there to stop me.

She wouldn't ever be collateral damage—not to me anyway. She was Nadeedah Yousif, the young heroine who saved _this_ soldier's skin, and I would never forget that as long as I lived.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38: Casualties of War

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

Jeez, that Metcalf sure knew how to push my buttons, every last one of them. I would bet a fortune that he was the notorious bully of the schoolyard—always pickin' fights or provoking them. I could see now, why Already never mentioned his wife in public. If Bull got wind of it, no tellin' what trash he'd speak about her. He had something nasty to say about anybody and anything. I pity the foolish girl that might marry him, but like Bella said, maybe the right girl could tame the beast. Hooh boy, how I'd love to see that day.

A week went by, and I did my best to keep clear of the jerk, but I was bound to run into him at Mac's retirement party on Saturday. I was not looking forward to it. I was used to Mac; he was steady and reliable, easy to talk to. He always lent an ear when I had a problem to discuss, and he was never one to judge either. He was my rock; I really liked the old guy.

The next time we hopped into our Blackhawk, he bandied about the subject of who I'd be teamed up with next. "You know your two La Push pals are making bets as to who will be sitting in this other seat after I'm gone. Rumor has it that it's Martha, at ten to one."

Ready ... set ... eyeroll. "Oh god, not Martha."

Mac chuckled, and took another couple of chews on his ever-present gum. "You could do worse. Fairfax could pair you up with Bull."

"Bite your tongue, MacKenna. I'd rather be tortured by Iraqis."

"Hey, Scrapper—don't even joke about something like that. It could happen."

"Just kiddin'."

He leaned sideways and lightly thunked me on the helmet with his gloved fist. "Yeah, well this ol' salt couldn't stand it if my adopted son got captured by the enemy. So, stay clear headed, and out of harm's way, you hear? One close call was enough. I nearly went through a whole case of Wrigley's, worrying about you—young whippersnapper."

"Sure, sure, Pops."

"Pops," he grumbled. "He called me, Pops."

I ginned at him. Jeez, I was gonna miss my ol' mentor. He was with me since day one, and every step of the way since.

* * *

That Saturday, we were all clustered around Mac, slappin' him on the back, and toasting to his well-earned retirement. When the crowd at the officer's club started to thin out, Mac took me aside. "Didn't you tell me that you live in Washington State?"

"Yeah, right on the coast."

"Well, I'll be ... It looks like I'll be moving there too. My son's living out in Sapho, so maybe I'll see ya sometime."

"That'd be great, Mac."

"I'll look forward to meeting that new bride of yours. Well, I guess this is goodbye then." He shook my hand. "Good luck to you, Scrapper. It's been my pleasure."

I stepped back, snapping to attention, and saluted him. "Sir."

He saluted back, and sauntered out the door.

I was on the tarmac early in the morning, in time to wave as he boarded his plane to return home. From there I went to see Fairfax. God-dammit, he gave me my newly assigned co-pilot—Steve Metcalf. I fumed all the way back to the mess hall.

* * *

By the time I got there, I had cooled down some. Then, I even smiled_. I bet Bull is pulling his hair out, ha! He hates my guts._

Already patted the seat beside him. "What's the matter with you?"

Setting down my tray, I said, "New co-pilot assigned to me."

"No kidding, already? Man, that was fast. But, please ... tell me it's Martha."

"Sorry, it's not. What's it to you anyway?"

He scooped up a fork full of hash browns, and held it half way to his mouth. "Well, your buddy, Embry gave me great odds. He was sure it was going to be Martha."

"Didn't your momma ever tell you that gambling is a sin?"

"Every Sunday." The potatoes finally made it onto his tongue.

He chewed and swallowed, and pointing his fork at me stated, "You know what I would do if I were you?"

"Enlighten me, already."

"I'd go to his choo choo, and bang out some sort of a contract. Think of it as a peace treaty."

"Yeah, right. Easy for you to say. His fist has never met your face yet."

"That's because I don't _antagonize_ him, like you do."

I arced my head. "Puh-leeze ..."

Dale lightly tapped the bottom rung of my chair with his boot, tippin' it. I grabbed the lip of the table top to avoid toppling over.

He snickered, and smirkin' at me, said, "You feeling all right there, pal?"

"No thanks to you."

Just trying to help. Hoo hoo, gotta keep you on your toes if you're gonna have a _Bull_ fight."

"Jeez, thanks bunches, Dale."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

* * *

I did just what the man said. I strolled over to his CHU, and rapped at the door. He stood there in the opening, bare-chested, dressed only in his briefs and a scowl. I'd never seen him out of uniform before, not even in the showers; I always stayed clear of the brute. Hooh boy, the guy was built like a brick wall. I was a pretty big guy myself, a head taller than him in fact, but Bull was massive; even his muscles had muscles, which by the way, he flexed—I'm sure, to intimidate me. Did a good job of it too.

"What the hell do you want, Scrapper?" he snarled.

The first thought that entered my mind was: _Please don't_ _hit me—Bella loves this face._ _It has_ _enough scars mapped across it as it is._

I sucked it up, and proceeded with my mission. "I just came over here to talk to you. Can I come in?"

"No—say what you have to say right here, then leave."

Shifting my weight to my right foot, I chose my words carefully. It was obvious that he knew about Fairfax teamin' us up, and I was not about to antagonize him any further. So, I told Metcalf that we needed to bury the hatchet. "Look, Steve—"

Bull cut me off. "That's Metcalf, to you. Only my _friends_ ..." he hissed through clenched teeth, "... call me Steve."

"Okay, Metcalf, then ... Look, I know we haven't been the best of buds these past few months."

With a menacing glower on his face, he shot back, "No ... really? I'm _shocked_ you would think that."

I tried not to, but a sigh escaped anyhow. "But warm fuzzies aside, we should be one in purpose, working together for the welfare of the other men. Like I told you before, we're officers, and should act as such. And not to worry, we don't have to be buddy-buddy outside of the chopper."

"You got that right. Stay out of my way, if you like the way your nose looks. I promise I won't slug you one when we're in neutral territory."

Looking him in the eye, I put out my hand. "Are we agreed then?"

"I guess, but you're still fair game in the mess hall or anywhere else, for that matter," he grumbled.

He gave me an ugly sneer, as I shook hands with the jerk. I only hoped the treaty would hold, or my last nine weeks would be hell.

* * *

Dale and I shot the breeze for a while before he had to take off. Smokey was bangin' on the CHU. "Sheeee-it, youngin', let's git on down the road. I hear there's a war on." That country twang got on our nerves, especially since his voice was like gravel.

Dale grabbed his helmet, and shouted to the old hillbilly. "All right, already. Keep your shirt on. I'm coming."

I met Bull out on the landing field. He had our orders for the day. We got onboard my fav Blackhawk and were on our way to pick up some troops outside of Kirkut. That first run wasn't so bad. Metcalf kept his mouth shut at least.

We'd just gotten back, and I was ready to strip and shower when a runner came from Fairfax' tent with a message for me. "Hey, Scrapper—bad news. Osborne and Stover got shot down. Captain's banking on you, Metcalf, Rigby and Nelson to find him, on the double. They're somewhere out near Nasiriyah."

I booked it to the helo, Bazooka climbed in after me, followed by the crew chief and two gunners. Bull was last to arrive. When we were finally airborne, he turned to me and said, "I'm sorry about Dale. I know you two were pretty tight. I never was too fond of you, but Dale was an alright guy."

Martha and Nelson spotted the wreckage before we did, and all of us noticed a group of Iraqi soldiers nearby. We didn't see any sign of Smokey or Already, so we figured the insurgents probably had them. I radioed Martha, "Scrapper one. Goin in. Give us cover. Over."

"Rigby 4. Check rog. Over and out."

Martha landed close to the dead chopper, and his gunners started firing on the soldiers, laying down cover for us.

I got out and left Bull at the controls, the gunners and Bazooka right behind me. The Iraqis didn't waste any time; the bullets started flying in our direction immediately. The four of us fired back—even Bazooka—and two of their men fell. Then all at once, Smokey and Dale came running toward us; they must've let them go.

They got halfway to our position when several shots rang out. I saw Already hit the dirt, face first. Smokey, on his heels, was the next to crumple.

My medic and I raced to our wounded comrades, keeping low to the ground. I flipped Dale over, holding him in my arms; his breathing was ragged, and blood was bubbling up through the jagged openings in his body. "I knew you'd come, Scrapper," he whispered.

"Shh, don't talk now. You just hold on. I've got to get you on that chopper."

I swiftly dragged him back to our rear position; Cavasos did the same for Smokey. The gunners took up their posts, and began raining bullets on the enemy while Bazooka and I loaded our men onto the Blackhawk. Metcalf didn't wait, and took us up just as another wave of Iraqi troops arrived. Martha was on our tail in the next instant.

Smokey had passed out, while the crew chief applied pressure dressings to his injuries. Cavasos and I were hurriedly attending Dale, who unfortunately was still conscious. I was kneeling beside him when he reached in his pocket and pulled out a letter for his wife. "I know I'm not gonna make it, and I need a favor. Can you give this to Pam for me?"

He reached for me; the letter in his hand. "Please, promise me that you'll do it."

"Don't talk like that. You're gonna give it to her yourself. You havta see that baby of yours."

His voice got weaker. "I don't think that's going to happen. I'm shot to hell, Jake. Now promise me."

"Okay ... I promise."

Dale dropped the envelope. "Here, take it." He sighed, and then winced with pain. Cavasos was quick to give him a dose of morphine.

"Nine weeks, only nine more to go."

He let out a short laugh, and stated to cough, red fluid dripping from his lips. "An ass and trash run—a stupid ass and trash run."

I couldn't hear what he said next, so I leaned my head down; my ear to his mouth. "Take care of that new bride of yours, huh ... Cherish her, and keep her close. I love you, Scrapper ... it's been ..."

"It's been what, Dale? Dale ...?" There was no answer. I pulled away, and saw that his light blue eyes were staring and glassy. "Bazooka," I shouted. "Help me!"

His heart beat was absent. I started CPR, but Cavasos stopped me. "He's gone, Scrapper. That's not going to bring him back. He's lost too much blood. I'm sorry."

I sat back heavily. I couldn't believe it. Already was gone! I absentmindedly slipped the letter in my pocket, and scooted closer. Drawing his head and shoulders onto my lap, I lifted him up, cradling Dale in my arms, and rocked him gently. "I love you too, buddy," I murmured.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39: All Bottled Up

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

I felt numb the rest of the way to Anaconda. Metcalf had radioed ahead, so as soon as we arrived, Smokey got whisked away to the surgical suite. Our crew helped the hospital staff in that endeavor, but let me stay awhile with Already. It was hard to let him go when they came back for his body, and harder still when they placed him in that black bag and zipped it up. Before they had a chance to claim him, I took one of his dog tags, and fastened it to my own, as a reminder of why I continued to fight this lousy war.

Since we were supposed to be on down time before any of this happened, Bull and I remained at the hospital to eat, and wait out Smokey's surgery. In all honesty, I was stalling our return to base; I didn't want to face that empty CHU with all of Dale's things there.

The tough ol' Blue Ridge boy was in his own bed in less than three hours, and we were there to greet him. They let us sit in the ward as long as we promised to be quiet; which wasn't a problem considering Bull and I hadn't said a word to each other since we got there.

Smokey stirred once, and opened his eyes, blinking at us. He looked around the room, and suddenly blurted, "What the hell happened?"

Bull answered, "The Iraqis changed their minds, and decided to stop your escape with a few bullets."

"Don't kid yourself, Sonny. That was their plan all along—those sons of bitches. So I owe my life to you two mugs, huh? Much obliged."

The ol' salt turned to me, and looking at the sad expression on my face, said, "Scrapper—snap out of it there. I'm gonna be right as rain. But, hey, how's that youngin' doin'? He still under the knife?"

"He's gone," Bull muttered.

"Gone? How'd he git outta here so quick?"

I swallowed hard, and answered, "Smokey ... Dale didn't make it back. He's dead."

"Dead, you say?"

He squeezed his eyes tight, and exhaled loudly. "I'm rightly sorry. We had to set that bird down. Those filthy polecats got off a lucky shot and sheared off one of the gol-darn rotor blades."

There were tears in his eyes as he continued. "It shoulda been me to die, not Dale. I've lived my life with no regrets. I got no family to speak of. Wouldna been no great loss to nobody, no how."

Metcalf stood up and leaned against the cot. "Don't talk like that, Ray. We'd miss you; that's for damn sure."

"You know what I mean.

"Well, let me chaw on this awhile. Y'all better git to Warhorse, afore the cap'n sends out a search party. And Scrapper ... I'm real sorry 'bout this. I know you and Dale were thicker'n thieves."

We rounded up the rest of the crew, and set off for the base. The silence in the chopper was eerie, but no one wanted to speak up, least of all ... me.

* * *

I sat on my cot, staring at the wall. It was bad enough that I had to be in this god-forsaken country, but at least Dale made it tolerable. I couldn't make myself move, even tho' I realized I needed to pack up his belongings. I just kept expecting him to come walking through the door of our CHU, remove his boots and plop onto his mattress. I still had Embry and Quil, and even Esau, but I didn't get to see them that often, only at chow times. And that was pretty sporadic.

Why? Why Dale? He had a baby at home, a wife he adored. Godammit, he never even had the chance to lay eyes on his kid. Maybe I should've been ashamed of myself, but I kept thinkin' it should've been Smokey, just like the man said, or maybe Bull. I'd probably burn in hell for that last thought, but I was already in hell, so what difference would it make?"

Taking his letter outta my pocket, I looked at it once more and set it on our dusty old dresser. I sat down at the table and wrote out a goodbye letter to my sweetheart—just as a precaution. Then I poured my heart out in another one, about the happenings of this horrible day—even so, it still wasn't enough. I felt like I had to dig deeper into my gut, and pull out all the festering emotions. These feelings were waiting to get out, but it was like they were bottled up inside me. Skipping dinner, I stripped and went to bed, but sleep didn't come easy that night. When I finally drifted off, I dreamed I was washed up onto the shore at Kalipaki Beach with a message for Bella; I woke up in a sweat.

* * *

BPOV:

I lived for Jacob's letters. It was my lifeline to him. He shared his experiences, some good, some totally monstrous. The neighbors must've thought I was crazy, practically jumping on the mailman whenever he arrived, but I was on pins and needles until I had a letter in my hand.

The last one I received made me heartsick. His friend and roommate at the base got shot by enemy fire and was severely wounded. He died in my Jacob's arms. Reading between the lines, I could sense the overwhelming sadness at his loss. He used to always write about Dale in his letters and spoke about him several times while we were together.

I was also in communication with my ex, much to my dismay, but I never mentioned that fact to Jacob. I didn't want him worrying about me. He had enough on his plate.

James had called me just yesterday. Apparently, he returned from another gig in Vegas, and Lorna gave him the news about my elopement.

"You married that guy—that overgrown Boy Scout?"

"Yes, I married him. What's it to you anyway. It's none of your business. We're not together anymore, remember?"

"I just can't believe you'd be that stupid."

"You think I'm stupid? I've got news for you. The only stupid thing I've ever done is letting you talk me into putting out for you. My heart was a shambles until Jacob came into my life. He was a breath of fresh air. I love him, and I'm proud to be Mrs. Black."

"So just like that, you're going to take off, and live on that reservation with your soldier boy?"

"That's right. As soon as school lets out, his tour will be over, and we can put down roots in Washington State."

"My mom is going to have something to say about that, dollface."

I was now pacing, bristling with anger. "You know what? I don't care what your mother thinks. She's not _my_ mother. She has no say in the matter. And another thing—don't be calling me, dollface."

"Okay, you win this time, bitch. Goodbye."

"Adios, loser," I threw back at him, as I slammed down the receiver. Gah, he made me so mad. I felt like throwing something—maybe a couple of raw eggs. Too bad he wasn't here in person. He'd make a great target. I could add to that yellow streak of his!

* * *

JPOV:

The next few days, Fairfax had given us free—time to grieve, I guess. We used that time to visit with Smokey. I hope he didn't believe that we were blaming him for Already's death. That was one of the reasons for hanging out at the hospital. I said one reason, 'cuz Metcalf had another.

On that first visit, as we were entering the place. Bull heard some arguing between two guys and a girl at the rear of the building near a storage room. Let's face it, the ex-boxer loved a good fight, so I wasn't about stop him. The two guys apparently were harassing a cute little blonde nurse.

One of them, a tall, brown headed jerk was behind her, his thick arms cinched about her waist, his nose on the side of her neck.

Her voice was shaky. "C'mon, guys, I have to go. I just came out for another gurney. They'll be looking for me."

"Hey, don't be like that," the other one said. "We won't keep you long; you just cooperate and it won't take long at all. We'll all just have a good time, won't we, Ned."

The soldier named Ned, tightened his hold on her, lifting her slightly, "Time to get down to business, honey. You're coming with us, right into the storage room. We wouldn't want to be giving anyone a peep show, would we?"

She was struggling now, and in a panic. "Please," she begged. "Let me go."

We were almost on top of them, when Bull shouted, "You heard the lady. Let her go!"

Ned turned toward us and sneered. "You gonna make me?"

"Damn, right, I'm gonna make you."

I stepped up to help, but Bull straight-armed me. "I got this Scrapper. Just don't get in the way."

The two idiots came at him, and it was over in a flash. His iron fists shot out like lightning, and in seconds, they both were laying on the ground, out cold. The nurse stood by, crying, and when it was over, ran to Bull with her arms around his neck, clinging to him, trembling.

He patted her hair. "It's okay, honey. You're safe now."

With quivering lips, she whimpered, "I was so scared ..." That being said, she went limp, nearly sagging to the earth. Bull caught her, and scooping her up, carried her inside, like she was nothing but a dry leaf.

I was left behind, waiting with the suicidal maniacs 'til the MPs arrived to haul them off.

From that day on, Metcalf was a different person. He laughed, he joked—it was a freakin' miracle. The nurse, Maddy, was_ mad_ about her hero, and the feeling was mutual. Bella was right; all he needed was a good woman to set him straight. I was happy for both of them—hell, I was almost happy for me. If it wasn't for the sobering thought of Dale headin' home in a box, I'd be celebrating.

Smokey got released four days later, and Metcalf and I were back in our copter at Ambush Alley. The other helos had already headed back, and we had barely dropped off our troops, when out of nowhere, an Iraqi soldier had us in range, an RPG on his shoulder. Another insurgent, obviously his cohort, walked to our bird, brandishing an AK47 in our faces, and in broken English, commanded, "All you—out!"

He waved the weapon at each of the crew, gesturing to them to climb down, and pulled Bull by the arm, emptying the chopper, except for me. The next thing I knew, he sat in the copilot's seat with his finger pointing up and instructed, "We go now."

What in the freakin' hell was this? I was being hijacked?

* * *

The guy put the gun down on the floor beside the seat, and yanked a revolver from his waistband, waving it in the direction he wanted me to fly, which by the way was in the opposite direction from Warhorse.

"Where we goin'?" I yelled at him.

"Al-Basrah," he responded.

_Over my dead body._ That was practically one step away from Iran. Number one, I didn't know if I had enough fuel to even get that far. And number two, there was no way I was gonna hand this bird over to the enemy without a fight. So, I started out goin' south east, then banked sharply to head back North. The moron hadn't strapped himself in, and when the chopper rolled suddenly, he went plummeting out the opening to his death. The man on the ground saw what was happening, and in his rage, fired the rocket. Oh, sh** ... I was a sitting duck!


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40: May Day, May Day, May Day!

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

If I hadn't been a moving target, I'd have been more than a sitting duck—I'd be a dead duck, roasted to perfection. The rocket missed the cockpit, but the freakin' missile hit my fuel line, causing it to burst into a blaze of orange, singeing off my tail rotor. The chopper began sputtering, and I was goin' down like a meteor, streakin' across the sky. I immediately cut off the engine, and unfastened my harness. The chopper auto rotated, and crashed landed a couple of seconds later. I leaped out as fast as I could, knowing it would explode in a ball of flames.

I ran for about twenty yards to escape the trail of leaking gas, left by the chopper. There was no cover in sight, and I knew, without a doubt that I was jumpin' from the fryin' pan into the fire. Several insurgents joined the party, and began shooting at me. I took a bullet to the hip and flank, then three rounds in the leg near my groin—rat-tat-tat—essentially takin' a chunk outta the artery in my thigh. The blood was spurting like a geyser, and I sagged to the ground. I quickly removed my belt and strapped it around my leg, cinching it tight. I was gonna lose my leg, or possibly my life, if help didn't arrive soon enough. I worried about Bella and Michel. What would happen to them if I didn't survive the day?

The troops I'd dropped off were engaged with the enemy, but miraculously, I saw some of them running toward me. Metcalf and Bazooka were in the lead. They helped me up, but my leg was useless, and I was starting to feel weak. Both my knees buckled, and my arch enemy from day one, lifted me, and draping me across his shoulders, ran with me to a chopper that was headed toward us.

He loaded me onboard, and Cavasos had a unit of blood started within minutes. One of our gunners removed my makeshift tourniquet, and replaced it with a pressure dressing. Hooh boy, what a lucky dog I was!

Martha was at the controls of my escape vehicle, and he had the copter at full throttle.

We were back in Mortarita Ville, aka Anaconda, within twenty minutes. The staff was ready for me, and had me stabilized, and ready to ship out to Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany. There was a military hospital there, with vascular surgeons stationed on site.

* * *

While waiting for transport, another chopper landed. It was Fairfax leading a team of well wishers. The guys came by at dinner time—not that I got to eat anything—to say their goodbyes, and wish me luck. Fairfax led them in—Martha, Nelson, Bull, Quil, Embry and Esau, even Smokey, who told me he'd be retiring in the next few weeks.

Metcalf seemed sincere while they visited. I can't say that we were now best buds, but he did earn my respect; after all, the guy probably saved my skin. No—not true—he _did _save my skin, my leg and my life.

* * *

My two best buds had gathered all my stuff from the CHU, and dropped it off at my bedside.

I cleared my throat and gestured to Embry. "Hey, Em, will you do me a favor? I've got Bella's phone number in an envelope. It's probably in my rucksack. Can you find it and call her for me?"

"Sure thing."

He and Quil sifted through the contents and found it. Embry handed the envelope to me, and I pulled out the phone number, placing it in Embry's open palm. Fairfax stood up from where he was sitting, and warned. "Make it snappy, soldier, we have to head on to Warhorse before it gets dark."

Fifteen minutes later, Embry was back. "All done. I told her. She was really scared at first, thinking you were dead, because you didn't make the call yourself. I explained that you were full of morphine, plus you couldn't get to a phone, and she started bawling her head off. You'd better talk to her as soon as you get out of recovery. It sounded like she didn't believe a thing I said."

Putting out his hand, my buddy added, "Here's the phone number. I'll put it back for you."

* * *

"Damn, Jake, I wish we were going with you," Quil whined.

My mouth was so dry, but I managed to slur, "Get yourself shot to pieces, and you'll have a ticket home too."

"Well, when ya put it that way ... I think I'll just take my chances. Besides, I can do eight weeks standing on my head."

"Now that I'd like to see," Embry chuckled. "The Iraqis already think we're nuts to be here. That'd clinch it for sure."

"Speaking of nuts, I'm nuts for a little nurse that was in here the other day. Sharon Daley?"

I remembered her from all the times we dropped off the wounded. I had just seen her when they rolled me in. "She's on duty, right now. I saw her a while ago, right before you arrived. Go get 'er Quil. I know how it is."

Quil took off like a bolt of lightening. I looked at Embry. What about you? I thought you were tight with one of these gals too.

"I was."

"As in, no more?"

"Nah, it's just ... she got transferred out. She's in Oregon now." His eyes were cast down.

"Is she gonna wait for you?"

"She says she will."

"Well, jeez, Em, don't look so glum. Oregon's only one state away."

He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I know, but ... Sometimes I wish I could be more like Quil. Nothing seems to bother him."

_Puh-leeze_ … I slowly closed my eyes. "No-no-no! Don't even go there. You're in love, and there's nothing more precious than that. You'll get outta here, and look that nurse up. She could be the one."

"You think so?"

I licked my lips, and peeped at him between drooping eyelids. Man it was hard to talk, my tongue was so thick. "I know what I'm talkin' about. Take a chance on your own happiness. You're a betting man, so go for it!"

Embry's face brightened, and a grin emerged. "Yeah, I bet we could be happy."

Quil came bouncing back into the ward. "Happy about what?"

"Embry's in love, stupid."

His eyes did their obligatory roll. "Phft! Is that all?"

"It _is_ all—it's everything," I touted. "Try it, you'll like it."

"Does it have a money back guarantee?"

Embry and I both groaned. Some people would never change.

* * *

The plane ride was longer than I expected, but I was so groggy, who knew how long it took. Intake was quick, and a vascular surgeon had been called in. Apparently, since the conduit in my leg was no longer intact, he would have to borrow a less vital piece from my other leg to bridge the gap. I was in the operating arena within the hour.

I woke up with tubes comin' out of me everywhere. I was in a panic; I had to let Bella know that I was all right. There was an aide at my bedside, and I tried to tell him to call her, but there was something stuck down my throat, and I couldn't talk. I realized what it was; I had seen those things before, never dreaming, that I'd havta be the recipient of one.

Waving my arms at Eric, the orderly, I gestured that I wanted to write on something. The pantomime went on for a good while 'til he finally realized what I needed. He went and got me a pen and some paper.

I wrote: _Eric, can you call my wife, Bella for me. Her number's in my rucksack, in an envelope marked, important stuff. _

He took the paper from me, read it quickly, and said, "Sure, Jake, I'd be glad to do that. No problem."

I was gonna breathe a sigh of relief, but that stupid tube was connected to some breathing apparatus, that was filling my lungs with oxygen. It was weird. I'd be so glad when that got gone. The noise it made sounded like Darth Vader too. Creeeeepy!

The nurses kept rushin' in and out, messing with the tubes, checking my dressings, and taking my vital signs. You'd think I was dyin' or something. Wait—I probably would've been dead if it weren't for our guys. They kept pressing on my feet each time, and I wondered what that was all about. A nurse told me they were making sure my pulses were present, and they were, so I guess that was a good sign.

I got tired of the charade game in a hurry. Every time a nurse walked in, I'd wave and point at my mouth. At one point I held up the paper Eric gave me and wrote_: I want this out!_

One of them finally told me, "Dr. Werner says we can remove it in another two hours if your vital signs remain stable. Be patient, Lieutenant, you just went through a very serious surgery. By the way, I don't know if you heard it right the first time, so I'm going to tell you again. You have to lie still for the first eight hours—legs straight at all times. You want that graft to stay put."

As promised, the tube was removed after the longest two hours in history. And after that , a team came in and rolled me like a log, so I could get off my butt—somethin' about preventing bed sores, they said.

The doc came to see me next, and what he said blew me away. "Well, Lieutenant, I have good news and bad news."

He winked as he told me, "The operation went smoothly. You'll just need some physical therapy—very little, I might add. You'll be here for a week or so. The bad news is: you're grounded, so since you won't be much use hobbling around on crutches, we're sending you home—with an honorable discharge."

_What the hell did he just say?_ "Wait—wait. Say that again, I wanna be sure I heard you right."

"You heard right, soldier. You're going home to stay. Your tour is over. You'll be transferred to a military hospital in the states. You'll need to be there another week, give or take a day. Do you have a preference as to where we send you?"

"Do they have one in Arizona?"

"I'll check for you, but I'm pretty sure they do. Every state has one. So behave yourself and do what the nurses tell you. I'll see you in the morning."

He turned to the nurse that was rounding with him. "He doesn't need monitoring anymore. Tell someone to cut him loose."

"Thanks, Doc. I owe you."

"No, soldier, you paid your dues. I was proud to help."

Hooh boy, I wanted to yell from the rooftops, but my voice was hoarse, and my throat a little sore from the rubber pipe that had been shoved down it. Then I thought of all the guys I'd be leavin' behind. I was really gonna miss them, well, except for Bull, and I knew the La Push crew would be home soon enough.

* * *

I asked every person I saw, what time it was. I wanted to call Bella in the worst way. The staff was probably wishing the tube was back in place. I guess I _was_ really makin' a pest of myself.

When the time limit was finally reached, it was already 11:00 A.M. the following morning. An aide plopped a tray of food in front of me, and I scarfed it down as fast as I could. I suckered the unsuspecting orderly that picked up my tray, to take me to the nearest telephone a little later.

The clock struck 8:00 P.M. when he came back, off duty. He helped me onto the gurney, trying to avoid any sudden movement of my legs, and we were off down the hall.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41: At a Snail's Pace

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

BPOV:

I had an hour left to study, and get a quick breakfast, then it was on to my nursing lab. Mom had already dropped Michel off at the babysitter's house. It was a little after 7:00 A.M. I was sitting at the kitchen table, when the phone rang. The voice on the other end was not one I recognized.

"Is this Mrs. Jacob Black?"

That was odd; I never got any calls asking for me by my married name. Not that many people knew about my marriage yet.

"Yes ... I'm sorry, who is this?"

"We haven't actually been introduced yet. This is Embry Call. I'm a friend of Jacob's. I'm sorry to have to tell you this ..."

I nearly dropped the phone, and my heart was rapidly sinking into my stomach. "Oh my god ... oh my god! This is bad news, this is really bad. He's dead isn't he?"

"What? No ... calm down. He's not dead, but he's had an accident."

_Another injury? If his friend is delivering this message, it must be a bad one_. "An accident? You call being shot at, an accident?"

"Well, no, but... Okay, so here's the deal. He's in the hospital. But I swear he's fine."

"If he's fine, then why are you calling? Why isn't he the one doing the talking? What aren't you telling me?" I could feel my anxiety steadily rising. My hands started to shake.

"He _would_ talk to you, but he's doped up right now, and the staff here won't let him get to a phone.

"Now, don't cry, Bella. I told you, he's gonna be okay. As soon as he has access to a phone, he'll be bending your ear, I guarantee."

"I ... I want to believe you," I cried, the sobs starting. "But you're not telling me anything."

"You don't believe me?"

My voice cracked, and my breaths hitched as I tried to speak. "How do I know you're not sugar-coating it, downplaying how severe his injuries are? I'm already freaked out, so just tell me the_ truth _about what happened."

"I am. I'm not lying to you. Jake will call you when he's able. I think he should be the one to explain everything. You need to hear it from his mouth, not mine. But I'm telling you, he's fine, and he sends his love.

"I know it's hard, but you've got to stop crying. I'm sure he doesn't want you getting all upset. Look, I've got to get back to Jake. Is there anything you want me to tell him?

"Bella ...?"

I grabbed a tissue from the nearby counter, and wiped away my tears. I could barely get the words out. "Tell him I love him, Embry. And ... I ... I want him to come home to me. And I miss him—can you tell him that?"

"Sure thing. Damn, here I've been wanting to meet my best friend's wife these past weeks. I'm just sorry it had to be under these circumstances. Well, goodbye, Bella. See you in La Push, huh?"

"Don't go yet, Embry. When do you think he'll call? I don't want to miss it."

"I'm not really sure, probably sometime in the evening. It could even be early morning. It won't be today though."

"I don't care if it's in the middle of the night. Thanks, Embry, and you be careful. Jake loves you like a brother."

"Hey, no problem."

* * *

That phone call really shook me up. I told myself that everything would work out. My task right now was to pay attention in class, and get my degree. Michel still depended on me, and god forbid, if Jacob should die, I still had to provide for my child. He told me I would be eligible for his benefits, but who knew how much that money would stretch. So I soldiered on, and tried not to think about the alternative. Graduation was only eighteen days away. Jacob would want me to finish school.

That evening, I got another message. This time it was a hospital orderly.

"Mrs. Black? You don't know me, I'm an orderly her at the military hospital. I'm taking care of your husband, Jake. My name is Eric. He just got out of surgery; everything went well. He wanted to call you himself, but he can't talk. He's got a tube stuck in his throat."

"Oh my god, they had to perform a tracheostomy?"

"No—no, it's more like a hose hanging out of his mouth. It's attached to an oxygen machine in layman's terms."

"An endotracheal tube? You mean he's been intubated? But why? They only leave that in if it's something serious. Oh god, my poor Jake!" The damn burst and my tears began streaming down my face.

"The worst is over, Ma'am. But, really, I don't know what to say to you. I wasn't told what happened to him, only what kind of surgery he had done. So, as soon as that tube is removed, you can hear the story from the horse's mouth. Well, I've got to go, and please don't worry about him, okay? Bye, now."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone, and tried to get back to studying, but it was no use. I went to my room, lay down on the bed and wet the pillow with my tears. My Jacob was alone and suffering in pain; I wished I could be there with him. Why do men always have to fight? War is so stupid. No one really wins. It just causes pain and heartache.

* * *

I stood by the phone, that Saturday, chewing my nails, waiting for it to ring. Embry had said that Jacob would call. It was already 10:00 A.M. the next day. Where was he? Did something happen to him? Were there unforeseen complications? Knowing a lot about hospitals and nursing, conjured up all sorts of horrifying possibilities. He could have thrown a clot, or bled out, fallen out of bed, or a million other scenarios. Oh god ... what if the hospital got hit. They didn't nickname it Mortarita Ville for nothing.

I kept telling myself, _He's just having trouble getting to a phone. Don't have a tizzy over it._ Maybe he had to wait in line. Maybe the telephones were out. It could happen.

I slumped back against the wall as Dad waltzed into the kitchen, whistling. He halted midstride and glanced at me. "You know, standing there isn't going to make that phone call come in any faster. Why don't you join Mom and me in the living room? There's a special on PBS about Henry the Eighth.

"He'll call, kitten. And I guarantee you that Jake is not about to hang up until the phone's by your ear. So do your ol' dad a favor, and sit down. You're making me nervous."

He jerked his head toward the doorway to the other room, and smiled. "Grab a couple of Pepsi's for me, huh."

I strode to the fridge, grabbed two cans, and followed him out the entry way. Murphy's law! As soon as I sat down on the couch, the ringer went off. I made a mad dash to the kitchen, nearly tripping on the rug, and bumped my knee on the table as I reached for it.

The phrase was familiar but the voice sounded strange. "Hi, beautiful."

"Jacob? Oh ... Jacob!" I wailed into the phone. The tears were already on their way. I knew they would be.

"Hey, don't cry. I'm still in one piece ... well, basically."

"You sound different." I wiped away at the wet drops trickling from my eyes.

"Yeah, I know. My throat's kinda scratchy from that stupid tube."

"Why were you intubated? That friend of yours wouldn't tell me anything. What happened?"

"Okay, so here's the story. Now don't freak out, but I got hi-jacked."

"Hi-jacked? I thought that only happened on airplanes."

"So did I. Someone apparently didn't tell that to the Iraqis tho'. Bull and I were in a hot LZ, and dropped off some troops. Anway, this guy with a grenade launcher came outta nowhere and aimed his missile straight at us. Then his two cronies, waved AK47s in our faces, and made the rest of my crew disembark. One of them climbed on board—he wanted me to take my Blackhawk to Basrah. The idiot didn't strap himself into the seat, and I wasn't about to turn over my baby to the enemy, so I took her up, then banked her about, as sharp as I could, and the guy flew out of the chopper. Just like that!

"His buddy on the ground didn't take that too well. He launched his load, and I got hit broadside. I walked away from the crash, but some of the other lunatics strafed me, and I guess the artery in my leg got pretty messed up. Our guys found me fast, and the doc here fixed me good as new."

Choking on each word, I sniffled, "I can't stand to have you in that horrible place."

"I'm not. Didn't Embry tell you?"

"He barely told me anything."

"I'm not in Iraq anymore. Right now, I'm in a hospital in Germany. Anyway, I won't be in the military for much longer."

"Nine long weeks," I groaned.

"How 'bout six days?"

"What?"

"I've got something to tell you, so you better sit down. I'm bein' discharged. I'll be home in a week."

I let out a squeal, followed by a flood of watery emotion.

"Honey ... honey ... it's okay. I'm comin' home—for good this time. No more fighting, I swear. Please don't cry anymore.

"Crap, I gotta go. I snuck outta my room with the help of a criminally minded orderly, and I'm lying here in the hallway, on a gurney. My nurse just spotted me, and she looks a little peeved. I love you, sweetheart. Kiss Mikie for me. See ya soon, real soon!"

"I love you, Jake. I can't wait for us to be together. See you soon."

I refused to put the phone down, until I heard that unmistakable click. Then I stood up, practically floating into the living room.

"Everything okay? How's our boy doing?" Mom asked.

"Everything's great. He's coming home. My god—he's coming home. He's really coming home—this week."

I started jumping up and down, and Mom and Dad, joined me. Our laughter was so loud that Michel woke up, and climbed out of his crib. He toddled down the hall, rubbing his eyes. I picked him up, and brought him into our group hug—one big happy hug.

* * *

In the next few days, I tried to cram in as much studying as possible, since graduation was on the horizon. I had finals in two weeks, and with my sweetheart here, I realized that not much studying would get done. I was a good student; and kept up pretty much, so I wasn't too worried about passing. My only concern was Jacob right now.

* * *

JPOV:

Bella was breathless when she picked up the phone. I could just visualize her rushing to grab it. _I guess she really loves me, huh?_

I barely greeted her with, "Hi, beautiful," when she greeted _me_ with the sound of her sobbing.

My voice was kinda hoarse, and she asked about that. Then I had to hash out what happened to me; why I was in hospital, etc. She kept on cryin', but it stopped momentarily when I gave her the big news. She shrieked so loud, I thought my eardrum would pop, but that was quickly followed by another round of waterworks. Jeez, where did women store all that water? Anyway, I havta admit, it was very sweet to know how much she cared about me.

I would've liked to talk a little longer, but my nurse—alias, the bloodhound—spied me lying on my stretcher in the corridor, and made a beeline toward me, and I had to hang up the phone.

"Lieutenant Black, what the hell do you think you're doing? And who was your accomplice? You obviously didn't get out here by yourself."

I looked straight up at the ceiling, and spouted, "Black, Jacob E., first lieutenant, serial number: 818-45-4819." I saluted her sharply, and in mock courtesy, added, "Ma'am ..."

"Smart ass!" she muttered, while pushing me back to the ward. "Why do I always get the troublemakers?"

* * *

I spent part of the day waitin' around for an ultrasound so the doc could be certain that my new graft _took. _When everything was deemed okay, I was shuttled to the PT room for gait training. There, I was measured for crutches, and instructed in their proper use. I got the hang of it right away. The main thing was not to put much weight on my right leg. Believe me, I paid strict attention. I was a model student so I could get outta this freakin' place in the six days that I promised Bella.

Hooh boy, this had to be the slowest week on record. It moseyed along at a snail's pace as far as I was concerned. I was frustrated to no end; I was an ace at crutches, so why did I havta go through this monotony day after day. What a waste of my time, and the therapist's.

And how much freakin' blood did they need from me? These bloodsuckers were after me day and night; you'd think they were vampires or somethin'. I guess they needed to be sure that my blood count wasn't dropping, or I'd be back in surgery. I laughingly thought, _I'm probably no longer a full-blooded Quileute._

Finally on Saturday, Doc Werner said I'd be transferred to the Banner Health US Air Force Hospital in Phoenix on Monday, if everything remained stable. Needless to say, I was ecstatic.

On Sunday morning after breakfast, I called Bella to tell her when I'd be arriving. "Okay, now write this down. I'll be comin' in on an Army transport. Do you remember where the hanger was at Sky Harbor when you flew to Dyess?"

"I think so. It was a little ways east of the old terminal."

"Well, that's where we'll be landing. Fairfax says it'll probably be around 4:00 P.M. Phoenix time, on Monday. They'll have a military ambulance standing by to take me to the hospital. Do you think you can meet me at the airstrip?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I have two final exams that day. One is at two o'clock, but I'll explain the situation to Miss Davis. I'm sure she'll move it back for me, so I can get out on time."

A few sniffles sounded. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Me neither. I'm so excited, I'm ready to pee my pants."

"Just be sure you have dry ones on, when you land, mister!"

Hooh boy, she left herself wide open. I laughed and commented, "I was hoping you'd say that I should arrive with no pants on at all."

"You!"

"Yeah, me! I laughed again. "I gotta go; there's some joker in line, wantin' to use this phone. I love you. See ya soon, sweetheart."

"Love you too. Hurry home, Jake."

I passed the handset to the guy behind me, and wheeled back to the ward, whistling The Star Spangled Banner.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42: Homecoming

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

I took a long nap on Sunday, so I'd be ready for the 10:00 P.M. flight. The time finally arrived, and an orderly came and packed up my stuff, then two male nurses I'd never seen before, pushed me out the door on a gurney to a waiting ambulance. They made the journey with me all the way to the airstrip.

There were several other wounded soldiers on board the plane, getting their stretchers strapped in securely. The two nurses, Dan and Tony, stayed on the plane to take care of us during the sixteen hour voyage.

When those jet engines roared to life, it was the most glorious sound I'd heard in quite a while. I was leaving Iraq behind me—but the memories and friendships I forged there, would remain with me forever.

I slept off and on during the night, waking when one of the other soldiers, needed something for pain, or to use the urinal. I didn't mind much; I was on my way home, and the love of my life. I could always sleep later.

Some of the guys had portable monitors hooked up to them. Thank god, I didn't, or it'd be beepin' a mile a minute. The closer we got to Phoenix, the faster my heart raced, and for good reason.

I couldn't see anything, lying flat on my back like I was, but I knew we were gettin' close to Phoenix, 'cuz we dropped two of the men off in Dallas. Next stop—Sky Harbor.

We set down smoothly, and when it was time to disembark, wouldn't you know, I'd be the last one to get the freakin' belts unbuckled. Our two nurses escorted my stretcher out the door of the airplane. That's when I heard a familiar female voice yelling my name. The gurney got maneuvered slightly. I turned my head, and finally caught sight of my Bella, tussling with a man in uniform. My heart just about exploded on seeing her.

The nurse, Dan, chuckled as he said, "Is that your wife causing all that ruckus?"

"Yup, that's her—that's my Bella."

Dan waved his hand at her, and shouted, "Over here!"

Her head snapped up, and she made a mad dash toward me.

* * *

BPOV:

Miss Davis was very sensitive to my plight, but she had a problem. Her brother was getting married soon, and she had to be fitted for a brides' maid gown. The appointment was clear across town, so the earliest she could administer my final was at 1:30. The test would take about two hours. If I hustled, I could still make it to the airport on time.

I turned in my papers, and darted down the hall and out to the parking lot. One of the male students there, taunted, "Slow down, girl. Where's the fire?"

The traffic wasn't bad at all, that is, until I got near the terminals. The place was teeming with out-of-towners flying in, I'm sure, for the ASU graduation ceremonies. Car lanes were packed solid, and no one would let me move over into the lane for terminal two. As a result, I missed the turn off, not once, but twice.

Out of the windshield, I spotted the aircraft carrying my sweetheart. It was just over Papago Park, and would be landing any minute now. I was in a panic. I wanted to lean on my horn, and scream at everyone to get out of my way!

In desperation, I followed the tail lights of a courageous taxi driver, practically kissing his bumper, and made it safely to the parking garage.

As I entered the building to the terminal, it dawned on me that I still didn't know how to get to the hanger reserved for the Air Corp. By this time, I was nearly in tears. A security guard stopped me. "You okay, ma'am?"

"I'm lost," I stammered. "My husband's coming in from Iraq on a troop carrier, and I don't know how to get to the hanger."

He nodded, and snatched a two-way radio from his belt. "Sergeant Chenowith here, I have a lady who needs to meet her husband at the Air Force Hanger. Can you send someone to pick her up?

"Roger that. Ten-four.

"Mrs ...?"

"It's Black."

"All right then, Mrs. Black. Follow me."

We went through a back corridor that led to the tarmac. A few minutes later, a golf cart arrived with a uniformed man driving. The sergeant helped me into the vehicle and we were off to the hanger. I could see from a distance that the aircraft had landed, and soldiers were being loaded onto ambulances.

When we pulled up a little closer to the plane, I jumped up from the seat, ready to sprint. I had to get to him. The driver caught my arm. "Ma'am, you need to stay back."

"The hell, I will," I hissed at him. "Jacob!" I cried. Pulling away from the guy, I went racing toward the ambulances. "Jacob, "I screamed again. The man caught up to me, grabbing my shoulder. "C'mon, lady, be reasonable. You stay here, and I'll get someone to find him."

I wrenched away once more, yelling his name at the top of my lungs. Another gurney appeared on its way down the ramp, and suddenly I heard, "Over here."

* * *

JPOV:

Dan stopped pushing the stretcher, along with his partner, Tony, who was suppressing a smile. I had my arms out ready for her, as she sailed into them. They automatically tightened around her as she leaned over the gurney. Damn, but it felt good to have her folded within my arms once more.

Bella was panting for breath, but that still didn't stop her lips from traveling all over my face, and hooh boy, I cooperated with my tour guide. Man alive, she was gettin' my motor started. And she kept wailing my name over and over, in between kisses. I finally took her face in my hands and whispered, "Hi, beautiful."

Sniffling, she choked out, "Hi, handsome ... welcome home."

Dan butt in just then. "And what a welcome that was. I wish my woman was that enthusiastic whenever I come home."

Tony grinned, and in a Brooklyn accent, said, "Hey, yous guys. I hateta break up this most tenda moment, but the clocks runnin', and we gotta get Jake heah, to the hospital ... capish?"

I looked sadly at Bella. "He's right, honey. You better get back to your car, and meet us at BH hospital, okay?"

She pressed her palm to my cheek. "I'll see you soon. I love you, Jake."

"Love you too, now go."

* * *

Dan and Tony left me in the care of yet another nurse on board the ambulance. We didn't get to know each other too well, since we were at the hospital in twenty minutes. It took a few more minutes to get to the floor, and settled in bed. The whole thing was ridiculous. I could've made it to the bed with my crutches, under my own power, but the hospital had rules. As soon as everyone left my bedside, I got off the mattress, rules or no rules, and sat on a nearby wheelchair, waitin' for my sweetheart.

As she entered the ward, a litany of whistles filled the air. By the time she reached me, her face was one, big, red blotch. God, she was just the cutest thing!

Bella didn't have far to bend down, to kiss my cheek. She tried to pull away, but I held her fast. "C'mon, Bells, you can do better than that."

She leaned in and brushed her lips lightly across mine. I was startin' to get a little worried. Where was my wild woman from earlier this afternoon?

"Something the matter?"

"No, it's just ... I'm afraid of hurting you." She sat gingerly on my bed, let out a sigh and said, "You're not in any pain are you?"

"A little ... it doesn't hurt too much anymore."

"You know, they have medicine nowadays that can help with that."

"Nah, I'm fine. I can deal with a little bit of pain."

"Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Being a stoic. You don't have to deny yourself something for pain."

"You know what?" I pointed to my chest. "I feel more pain right here, 'cuz you're sitting so far away from me."

"It won't hurt you if I get too close?"

"Did you hurt me when we were at the airstrip?"

"That was different. I didn't have my full weight on you."

I wiggled my fingers, then my bare toes. "See, all my important parts are in perfect working order, and just so you know, my man parts aren't damaged either. I'll prove it to you in a couple of days. Now hand me my crutches."

Bella pulled the crutches away from the wall where they were leaning, and handed them to me. She started to get up to help, but I waved my hands for her to sit down. "I got it, honey."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I lowered the crutches to the floor, and drew her close to my side. That did it. She burst into tears.

"Oh, Jake," she blubbered. "I was so scared when Embry called me, and I'm still scared. I don't want to lose you."

I brushed the hair away from her face, gazing into her warm brown eyes. "Hey, are you callin' these docs, liars? They say I'll be outta here in no time."

Those eyes ... damn, those eyes, they were pulling me into them like two strong magnets. My thumb and forefinger were now on her chin, bringing her parted lips nearer. I couldn't bear to leave them unmolested, and our faces were suddenly glued to each other. Our lip lock was rudely interrupted by a series of catcalls and wolf whistles from the other _inmates_, dammit! Why didn't this place have privacy curtains? I felt like we were in a goldfish bowl.

* * *

Bella quickly warmed up to my charms, and the conversation flowed. I showed her my injuries, so she could quit worrying. "The doc says these stitches can come out in a couple more days."

She stayed clear past dinner, up 'til 8:00. She promised to come back tomorrow, but she had one last final at 11:00 A.M.

The overhead lights were flickering to signal the end of visiting hours. I patted her hand, holding her prisoner for a few more moments. "Can you do me a favor, and bring Mikie with you next time? I haven't seen him in ages."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'd like to spend some time with the little guy. He needs to get used to me again, if we're goin' to be livin' in the same house."

"Speaking of ... we should discuss how soon we need to make the move to La Push."

"Ya think? Damn, woman, I can't wait!"

"Okay, tomorrow then ..."

"Tomorrow. And every day after. Good night, sweetheart." We kissed again, making sure it was a little less intense. One red cheeked incidence was enough.

"Good night, Jake." Bella walked off, and the whistling started up and down the line once more.

* * *

I didn't think I'd be able to sleep that night, but I seemed to be in a state of relaxation, just knowing that Bella was close by. Even the symphony of snores couldn't keep me awake. The next thing I knew, the noise of squeaky wheels heralded the morning. The food cart was rolling down the aisle laden with trays of breakfast chow. There was something on my tray that I'd never seen before—a breakfast burrito?


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43: Crutches and Concessions

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

**A/N: I'd like to respond to three reviews I have received this week, but the the profile only says "guest". So thank you for your great reviews.**

* * *

BPOV:

My head shot up at the sound of, "Over here," and my feet scurried to its source. I saw that shock of black hair, and the male figure on the gurney. I was panting so heavily, as much from excitement as exertion. My lungs were about to give out. "Huuuh, huuuh, huuuh ..." I breathed, as I finally reached him. His arms enfolded me, and I fell apart, kissing every inch of skin on his face and neck. I was relieved to know he'd returned to me, alive and well.

"Oh my god, Jacob," I cried over and over in between kisses. My mouth and hands were in constant contact with my soldier boy, in the act of confirming to myself that he was truly here, in the flesh. I was still anxiously engaged in kissing him, when his hands reached up, and framing my face, he uttered, "Hi, beautiful."

Coherent words finally left my tongue, and I answered, "Hi, handsome ... welcome home."

The two men pushing his stretcher advised us that they had to get my sweetheart to the hospital, and so after touching his cheek one last time, I had to quickly say goodbye. I stepped back while they loaded him into the ambulance. He waved at me right before his head disappeared inside of the transport.

**. . . . .**

I was tingling with anticipation as I drove to the hospital, at the same time I was worried since he hadn't fully recovered from his injuries yet. He had written in his letters that his leg wasn't the only thing that the bullets hit. He also sustained a wound to his side and hip. He said they didn't strike anything vital, but still ...

This was the first time I'd been inside a military hospital. It didn't seem that much different from the others, except for the flags on display, and the framed pictures of jet fighters. I stopped at the desk, and asked for Jacob. I was informed that he was on the second floor, section D.

I was immediately greeted with hoots and whistles once my feet began their journey through the ward. As a result, the heat started to rise in my cheeks. Holy cow, you'd think these guys had never seen a girl before. Trying my best to ignore them, I walked past to the end of the row where Jacob was sitting in a wheel chair, waiting for me patiently.

Those onyx eyes widened, and his smile spread out over his face as his gaze met mine. I leaned forward and left a kiss on his cheek, but as I drew away from him, he grabbed me, holding on tight. Jacob was definitely not satisfied with that, and didn't mince words about it.

To make amends, I allowed my mouth to glide across his as gently as I could. I'll be the first one to admit, that it wasn't awe inspiring. It was lukewarm at best. Jacob would classify it as wimpy, but I was afraid of getting him all worked up—that, and actually hurting him. He just had major surgery for Pete's sake.

He tossed me a worried look, and asked me outright what the matter was. My explanation got pooh-poohed in a hurry.

I seated myself on his bed, and asked if he was having any pain. Typical Jacob, he _was_ still in pain, but wouldn't tell anyone that he needed something for it. He pointed out that it hurt him more to see me sitting across from him.

The air finally got cleared as he wiggled his fingers and bare toes, assuring me that everything that mattered to him was in working order. I handed him his crutches at his request, and he got up, and sat beside me. He pulled me in tight, and I rested my head on his shoulder, relaxing enough to let it all out. I bawled my head off. "I don't want to lose you," I wailed.

Brushing my hair back, his eyes connected with mine, and our lips inched closer until they bonded. I'd forgotten that we were exposed for a few seconds, but the noise from the crowd of onlookers broke up our moment.

Jacob wanted to show me his wounds and incisions to ease my concerns, so I helped him get in bed and under the covers to avoid prying eyes. I winced as I peered at the long incision on his right inner thigh. It was dangerously close to his right testicle. I bet he was thanking his lucky stars that it remained intact. I heard how guys prided themselves on being well hung. There was just a little bruising remaining along the margin, and some around the suture line. The incision on his other leg was shorter, and cleaner, and the wounds on his hip and flank were already closed and healing.

I hung my head, covering my mouth. I couldn't imagine the suffering he went through after this atrocity occurred. "Oh Jacob, "I whimpered.

My heart at the same time swelled with pride, being in the presence of this brave warrior.

Jacob took my hand. "Hey, none of that, honey. I'm okay, and I'm out of that mess. I'm here with you now, for keeps."

* * *

At 8:00 P.M., the lights started flashing. Visiting hours were over. Jacob kept my hand in his, and told me to bring Michel with me tomorrow. It made my heart glad that Jacob held a special fondness for my son. We kissed once more, and I headed toward the elevator, amid the cheerful whooping and hollering of the men.

I only had one more final to go until graduation. Other than that, the only obstacle to my license was my nursing boards which would be held in September. Then, at long last, I could concentrate on the more important issue—the relationship between Jacob and me.

* * *

My papers got turned in by 12:50. Hallelujah—my last final was in the can. I hurried off to pick up Michel, and then on to the hospital to see my Jacob.

When we got there, his bed was empty, and my stomach involuntarily lurched. The soldier in the next bed, rolled in his wheelchair over to us, and said, "Don't worry, he's in the PT room. He told me to keep an eye out for you. He should be back shortly."

It stood to reason; his bed was still in low position. The sheets weren't turned down at the foot awaiting a new patient, and the spread covered the whole thing. I sat on the edge of the mattress, and set Michel on my lap.

Ten minutes later, Jacob came walking in with a crutch under each arm. Michel squirmed in my arms, trying to get down, but I wouldn't let him. I was afraid he'd run and trip over Jacob's crutches, or worse yet, get underfoot and knock my sweetheart over.

It was amazing how fast Jacob could travel using those walking aids. He sat down after reaching us, placing his crutches against the frame, and extended his arms out to Michel. There was no hesitation on Michel's part. He immediately had his chubby hands wound about my soldier boy's neck, his little round cheek pressed against Jacob's.

Jacob drew his head back, and smiling, said, "Hey, buddy, you remember me, huh?"

Michel chattered something indecipherable, but his enthusiasm said enough. Jacob rubbed his nose to Michel's. "There _is_ something to this nose bobbing thing, Bells. I'm expecting more from you tho'." He motioned to me with his index finger. "C'mere, girl."

I went around so I could stand in front of him. He spread his legs and patted the newly exposed bed spread in an attempt to get me to come closer. Stepping into the space, I was captured in a one-armed hug. We had to wangle a kiss, however, as Michel kept getting in the way.

"You asked for it." I snarked.

"Do you hear me complaining?"

"No ... but, you want me to take him?"

"Nah, he's fine." With that being said, Jacob sat my son on his lap.

I nearly came unglued when he placed Michel right on top of his injured thigh. "Jake, no. Don't do that. Give him to me."

"Jeez, Bells, you worry too much. Everything's okay, I promise. Anyway, the doc says the stitches come out tomorrow."

Luckily, Michel didn't wiggle too much. I still felt pretty tense, knowing that pressure on those sutures could cause them to tear apart.

We stayed with Jacob until after dinner, then headed home.

* * *

JPOV:

Walking back from my PT session, I spotted Bella and my favorite toddler sitting on my bed. My heart rate immediately accelerated. I didn't realize how much I missed Michel 'til saw his innocent little face. Hooh boy, I was turnin' into a marshmallow, but he was just so darn cute.

I made it to the bed in record time, considering I was walking with crutches. I reached for Michel, and he latched onto me, hangin' onto my neck. His soft curly hair nestled against the side of my throat, his cheek pressed to mine. He remembered me, and my heart did a back flip. How could his father not be part of his life? How could he not love him, like I did?

I rubbed noses with the little guy, eliciting a gaggle of giggles. Then, I turned my attention to his mother. I wanted more than a nudge of the nose from her. After a difficult attempt at kissing, what with Michel patting our faces, I released her and sat Michel on my lap. Bella freaked out at that move. I had to once more assure her that I was A-OK.

Every little wiggle he made had her jerking in response. Jeez, what a worrywart.

In just a little while, Michel fell asleep in my arms, so I had Bella pull back the covers and I tucked him in. While he slept, Bella and I discussed our plans for moving to La Push.

"I don't know if my car will make it to Washington this time, Jake. It's got over 100,000 miles on it."

I winked at her. "No worries, honey. If I can get a chopper in tip top condition, I can certainly manage to overhaul a Corolla."

"Okay, scratch that off the list. How long did the doctor say you needed to be on those crutches?"

"He says just a few more days, but I feel like I don't really need them."

"Jacob Black," she lectured me. "Don't you dare think you know better than the surgeon. I'd rather you be safe, than sorry."

I put my palms out in surrender. "Okay, okay ... let's not argue over it."

"Just promise me you'll do as the doctor orders. Please, Jacob ..."

I put two fingers straight up. "I promise—Scout's honor."

"All right then, that's settled. So when do you think we should make the move."

"As soon as I get the hell outta here."

She rolled those beautiful brown eyes at me. "Be reasonable."

"Your finals are all done?"

"Yes."

"Well, what about right after your graduation. By the way, sorry I'll miss it."

"What are you talking about? I already graduated."

What? I thought it was everyone's dream to march up to the podium in their cap and gown to receive their diploma. I scrunched up my face in confusion. "Wait ... aren't you gonna _walk_ in your cap and gown?"

"I've decided not to. They want way too much money for the outfit. My parents are proud that I graduated. They don't need to see me get a diploma. Been there, done that once already."

"How bout ten days, then?"

She nodded. "That sounds good." Finally we agreed on something. Hooh boy, she was a stubborn woman, but stubborn or not, I was crazy about her.

* * *

A/N: I don't think I ever saw any guys using crutches after femoral-popliteal bypass grafts (which were basically the ones done at our facility), so in this case, it's purely fabricated. After all, this is fanfiction, right?


End file.
